Adventures of a Former Fat Girl

26 days to go! I’m so excited I can hardly wait. NO, not get ready for a contest, not on a particular diet or fast. I have exactly 26 days till my son graduates from basic training in the United States Army-HOOAH!

My son has told me that he was gonna be an "Army Man" ever since he was in kindergarten. I was very afraid when the Iraq war started and had hoped he would change his mind, but nope. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very, very proud of my son, but as a mother you don’t want to see your child in a war. To top it off, he went into Infantry, with plan of becoming a Ranger. Anyhoo, he’s been gone now since June, it has been really hard for me, I’ve never been away from him this long. I know, let the boy grow up, cut the apron strings, and all that other crap. And believe me, I’m trying. I want my son to be a proud, strong man, but it just seems like yesterday and he was my little boy.

He writes me a lot, he tells me that I won’t recognize him anymore, but I’ll bet you a 100 dollars I know which boy is mine! The whole family is driving down to Fort Benning to see his graduation, I’m sooo excited to see him, I can barely contain myself.

Deadlifts 4×12 50#

Dumbell press 4×12 10#

Dumbbell flyes 3×12 10#

Dumbbell rows 4×12 15#

Lat Pulldowns 4×12 62.5#

I have to remember that I’m just starting out, and to remember that I will get better. I do have to stop worring about being the fat girl in the free weight room, I’m sure noone cares that I’m there. But, to me I feel absolutely ridiculous on the incline bench. Just remember, I will not look like this forever. Soon, I will have a better body.

I’ve decided to get a trainer, but I’m a little apprehensive. I’m not exactly sure how to go about it. My gym has a personal trainer, and she’s not taking on any new clients. So where do I go? I live in a pretty rural area and there’s not a lot to choose from, and I want someone that will take me and my body where I want it. I’ve been weight training on my own, but from what I’ve read on here, there are ways to weight train for optimal effect. I want that! Question: Do you have to have a trainer that will stand over you like a drill sergeant, or can you get one like online and have them work out how you should be training? (Something to research: Online trainers).

Anyhoo, today is my off day and I’ve been spending most of it (except for a 2mile walk) reading and researching on bodybuilding. I think I’ve got the eating clean concept. I’m eating every 3-4 hours, small meals protein and complex carbs, lots of water (enough to make me pee a lot) and nothing processed. I wonder how long will it take to notice a difference in my body, I already notice a difference in my brain. I don’t feel so sluggish and foggy anymore. I’m very proud of myself for kicking the diet coke habit (I drank 6-8 20oz bottles a day), It was ruff, but I did it!!! It’s been 3 weeks, the longest I’ve ever gone was 3 mins. And I have to say, I don’t miss it, it’s amazing to me now.

Until next time

Pam

Sooooo, It’s been awhile. I’ve been out of the game for awhile. I’ve let life take control, and I’ve gained all my weight back. I hope all my friends here didn’t abdoned me! It’s funny how life’s stresses can get ahold of you and take control. Well, it took some time to figure out how to release my stress, who knew it was exercise!

Now, I’m starting all over. I’m a little upset about it, but I’m just gonna put my focus back on my goals.

My eating: back on track, clean foods only 5-6 times a day

My workout: I’m doing 30-45 mins of cardio. Weights, I’m going lite for now, just to get my muscles back in the game.

To tell ya the truth, I’m ashamed to admit what I let myself become. But I’m determined to move on and get my focus back.

Pam

I was in a kind of rush this morning, so I forgot my MP3 player. Usually, I would find a magazine or something to occupy my mind, but today I just listened to the sounds of the gym. There was the rhythmic boom, boom feet of the man running on the treadmill, the clank, clank from the circuit weights, the swish, swish of the ellipticals, the occasional grunt from the man lifting. If it would have been put to time, it could have been the beginnings of a great song. It was really quite interesting. I guess all this time with my ears plugged into my MP3, I just couldn’t hear the beat before.

Maybe, we should all just pay attention to the sounds of the gym a little more. Maybe, just maybe you might hear something worth while.

Disclaimer:  I’m not judging anyone with the following post it’s just my observation!

I’ve noticed since I stubbled upon this website that the "popular women profiles" are always some little girl in a bikini. I understand that those particular girls are beautiful, but what about the average girl? Maybe, someone who’s transformation was more than exceptional! I don’t begrudge the girls that are on the "popular" page, I just would like it if some more of us visited someone who’s body is maybe more attainable. For instance, ChickenTuna, Her body is(for lack of a better word) bangin. I know she’s been on the popular page for a while, I just wish there were more women like that, one’s that took the average so-so body and transformed it. Or maybe someone who took an obese body and worked it into a muscular hard body.

Please, don’t get me wrong..I’m not in anyway trying to be mean, or jealous. I just wish there could be more women to relate to on the "popular" page. I know that I’m never gonna be 20 (been there, done that), working at Hooters ( been there, got the t-shirt) with a little butt, and winning bikini universe titles just give me someone I can to aspire to. Maybe someone that used to be fat like me, wouldn’t that be the best to see someone like that be "popular", along aside those 20 somethings. Cause aren’t all women beautiful, in one way or another????

Ok, so I’ve been slacking off the last week or so! I’ve been doing what I call "The Executive Workout." You know it’s when you go to the gym and sit in the sauna, hottub, watch T.V. and then take a shower( like you worked up a sweat).

Speaking of the Hottub, I don’t know about other gyms, but we have separate locker rooms for men and women. The women at my YMCA, are rather large, and they like to get into the hottub naked.  Now, I’m not scared, or embarrassed of a naked woman, but I’m somewhat annoyed by torpedo boobs( Fat boobs that float and wander toward me, like I was a target or something). I really would appreciate it they keep them to theirselves. Also, another annoyance is…when I’m in the hottub with my eyes closed, relaxing…and these women get in wanting to talk to me. Can’t they see, I’m relaxing! Don’t get me wrong, I’m a nice person, but I just don’t want to hear about your arthrititis, bunions or any other aliment you might have. Sorry, but I just want to relax and quiet my mind, not hear about your recent bout with diarrhea. Is that wrong? (speaking of diarrhea, should you even be in the hot tub, Yikes)

Ok, since I’m on my soap box, I’d like to get this off my chest too. When in the sauna, with other people….don’t lay down on the bench when your naked. It’s just rude! Leave some space for me ( I really don’t need that much now, but it would be nice not to have your yuky feet rubbing against me!) And if you are naked, please put a towel down before you sit, it’s just nasty! How do I know if you wiped the last time you went to the bathroom!

Now that I think about it more, maybe I just give up the Executive Work Outs for good!!

The other night while lying in bed, with my lap top. I was checking out the BB.com web site. I was looking at some other girls profiles, when my husband, looking over my shoulder, caught site of a particular girl. His eyes practically popped out of his head and he said " When will I get a body like that?"

Now, mind you I am trying my hardest to get a body like that, but I kinda got offended. I really don’t know how to take it. One part of me is now more than ever determined to get the best body I can have, but another part of me is Jealous that his eyes popped out of his head over another girls body.

I’m really not sure how to feel! If he see’s this girls body as being so attractive that he’s wishing mine looked like that one, how does he see the one I’m stuck with for now? What if I can never obtain that kind of perfection?

In a way, I’m more self concious now then I ever was!! He’s eyes have never popped for me!

I’m I wrong to feel this way, or I’m I being ridiculous?

This was my grandma’s favorite thing to say to me when I was having a hard day! She was the most amazing person, I’ve ever had the priviledge to know. I know a lot of people say that about their loved ones, but she was different! This being the 1st anniversary of her death.. I was looking for a way to remember her, and I thought about here. She is the reason I wanted to get into shape, she’s the reason I took this so seriously. So I thought this would be the perfect place to share her memory.

She was the kind of woman, everyone looked up to. She had the biggest heart, she opened her home to homeless families and helped them until they could get on thier feet. She babysat children for free for families that couldn’t afford daycare. She had endless, boundless energy. She volunteered at nursing homes, and at animal shelters. She never stopped giving even up till the day she died. Where she made my mother buy popsicles for the neighborhood children, they would always come on Sunday’s to get their popsicles because that was shopping day! So on her death bed she wanted to make sure those kids had their popsicles! She was stubborn as the day was long too! When the doctor told her she would only live a few months, she told the doctor, "ain’t noone but the lord gonna tell me when I’m gonna die!"

She absolutely did not want anyone standing over her when she did die. My mother sat next to her for days, holding her hand. She just wanted to be some comfort to her, to let her know that we loved her and it was alright to go to the lord. But Gram, being ever stubborn made my mom hand out those popsicles…and as soon as her back was turned she went quietly. I know Gram did that on purpose!!! See Gram never wanted anyone to fuss over her… "If anyone’s gonna do any fussing.. It had better be me" she say when someone told her she looked nice, had her hair done, or something. Gram believed that if you couldn’t compliment your self, noone else should.

I loved and miss very much her unmistakable wisdom. Being from the south(Alabama) she had these funny little sayings, but somehow they always made sense. Like the header of this blog, Doesn’t it just make sense? Another one she would say whenever someone was complaining about someone else was.."Your candle doesn’t burn brighter, just cause you blow theirs out" I do miss the funny ones though, ask her how the weather is on a Alabama summer day, and she would reply…"I’m hotter than a fart in a mitten", Or if something was particularly slick… "It’s slippery than snot on a doorknob", or when she caught you doing something wrong.. "Now why would you walk on the left, when you know you could be in the right"

Gram..I will always love you and miss you for all the days of my life! My only hope is that I’m half the woman you were, and I will try my best to make you proud, by living my life to Improve.. God Bless and Keep YOU! Your Granddaughter- Pam

I think I might be seeing things, but I swear the more weight I loose the bigger my head looks! Is that even possible? How do you get a smaller head? Seriously, I now have this complex! I’m a walking bobble-head! It’s a wonder my poor skinny neck doesn’t snap at the weight of such a huge thing. I think someone switched out every one of my mirrors at home for those mirrors you would find at the carnival.

Although, I really shouldn’t complain! I’d rather have this gianormous head then the big ass I used to have. I guess I’ll get used to the bobble-bobble. Hey, maybe I just got a bigger head, because I got smarter at being fit. Yeah, that’s the ticket!

Anyhoo, I tore my lower ab muscle the other day! Holy mother of pain! I think I came up from a decline crunch wrong or something. DOMS is one thing, I can handle them, but this is the worst. I can barely turn over in bed, or get up from a laying position. So I’ve taken a little break from weight training, just concentrating on cardio till the pain subsides. I’ve been trying to eat a little more protein as well, hoping that I didn’t do too much damage.