Deep Thoughts…
Today was a cardio day, I have been doing run a lap, walk a lap on the track at the Y, sometimes I will run 2 and walk 1 which is what I am working up to. I am working toward 2.5 miles non stop with sprinting in the curves of the track, we will see.
The only thing I don’t like about cardio is it gives me time to think about the people I have lost, and the mistakes I have made. This morning was a toughy as I cannot stop thinking about my son, just having a rough time because the anniversary of my accident is coming up and every year I get a bit crazy around this time. A person is just not supposed to outlive their children. You have certain expectations, one of which is that you will see your son grow to manhood and become a better man then you are, I do not have that luxury and it sucks.
He would have been 13 this year, I imagine him as I believe he would be, a rebel without a clue, breaking hearts, his only passion skateboarding being the only thing that really matters to him. I see him in a constant struggle with himself for the superiority of the rebel side of his Psyche against the sensitive person that he actually is. I see him much as I was when I was a kid and I feel angry for not being able to talk to him and teach him how to be a man.
Anyway, sorry for the whining, been a rough morning…
June 3, 2008 at 6:38 am
No apologies necessary for whining. I cannot imagine what you have gone through! My heart goes out to you. You sound as though you are very adept at keeping your head above water where that is concerned. Keep up the hard work!
June 3, 2008 at 11:41 am
(((((you)))))
June 7, 2008 at 8:54 am
Big hug and kiss.