FitChick’s BodyBlog

and the next two weeks. I have been out of order here for a minute. Of course I’ve had a lot going on. I got my one way ticket to Italy and now I’m in a hussle to get the rest of everything done before I head out. Nevertheless, I am hanging onto my workouts. Diet is good and fresh.

Can I be honest ya’ll? Now I don’t want a whole rack of people hitting me up to tell me how unhealthy it was to do this…but…. I did holler at the master cleanse for seven days when i got back from Cali. A friend of mine was trying it and the madness hit me at the exact right moment. I typically do not believe in cleanses or fasts or fads. I’m the type of chick who could never imagine herself going w/o food for even a day. I did it for 7 and even though I’m still not a fan of doing cleanses or using weird (yeah, i said it) methods of the sort; (I’m a simple gal who truly does believe in plain ol exercise and eating right) I have to admit the cleanse changed my life.

Yep, the cleanse changed my life. I had a real unhealthy relationship with food ya’ll. As I stated before I didn’t think i could go a day without food. I didn’t think that a person should go a day without food. Doing the cleanse helped me to realize that I was still functioning and feeling good without being so focused on the next thing I was going to eat. It wasn’t hard. It didn’t hurt. I wasn’t deprived. I wasn’t longing for food.

Since the cleanse i truly haven’t been worried about what I am eating and I have to say the weight is still coming off. I eat a lot of fresh veggies and fruit and keep it moving (and some meat;not as much as before and not the same kinds). I’m getting a load more fiber. I been eating beans and legumes and it’s all good. I’m satisfied on less. I am conscious of what and when and how much I’m eating without thinking so hard about it. I’m not obsessed (like I was before). I haven’t binged or overate one time since the cleanse and I know it’s because my mind is changed about food.

Whomp, there it is! This is my confession…..:-)

mmmmmmmmmmm yaaaaaaaa’aaaaaalllllll

So California was awesome but the diet absolutely was not. I didn’t workout and I ate and ate and ate and ate. I feel like I need a hardcore cleanse or something it was so bad. SO BAD.

I just got in tonight. I’m ready to get back on track. More to come in the morning or some time in the next two days.

Don’t worry I’ve still been sticking with it. Not exactly 100% hardcore as I was but I haven’t fallen off and I don’t feel bad about my choices. I actually feel encouraged considering all that I’ve had so much going on. Boxing is still kicking my butt but I’m getting stronger and I love it. I will be going out of town in a few days for about a week. I’ll be posting some pics when I get back.

I read amrn65’s blog and it made me feel much better about the birthday party I just went to. I by no means did the damage I used to do but I have to admit my eating has been off pretty much all day and then when I got to the party I fixed myself some Dang Kasadilla’s (Napoleon), a hot buffalo strip w/ bluecheese dressing,a pc of birthday cake, and 7 lyr mex. dip w/chips.

Back on it tomorrow. Goodnight for now…

Yesterday was the first day at ruthless that I wasn’t just overjoyed-estatic and challenged w/ the workout. I did do two new exercises I never have done before; plyo- pushups (50 on blocks) and shadowboxing (awkward). Earlier in the day I had gone for a run (1 mile!) outside but that was kind of a dud too for some reason.

I know part of why ruthless wasn’t on point is because I went there after a literally 5+hr conversation with my mother in law about our relationship. (She’s cool for the most part actually we just have a couple kinks to yank) I was hoping the workout would be extra grueling to get my mind off of it and all the other crazy ish I’ve got going on in my brain (I’ve come to depend on it actually) and it was just tough not impossible. I didn’t ever have that feeling of OMG, I’m not going to make it (is it sick that I missed and wanted that?lol).

Nevertheless, in hind site yesterday could have been a completely different type of day if I didn’t get my workouts in; if I hadn’t gone to ruthless- which I was "this" close to not doing b/c it got so late. So, I still accomplished what I needed to and I’m another day closer to my goals.
On another positive note I have to say Thank You, to all of the people that I’ve just met upon signing up on here. I never even remotely thought it would be like this. Those of you who swing by and offer so much encouragement, you really have no idea how much it means to me. I don’t have any one in "real-outside" life who is encouraging me or cheering me toward my goals and it’s so surprising and humbling and meaningful and amazing the amount of people on here that just want to see you do well and say kind things. It’s like the BIG GIVE up in this joint! (hehe) Thank you because just with a few words you guys give so much!

Whew, there are some reoccurring thoughts that I keep having that might not necessarily be in the positive category. Such as, if only my body looked like it feels (which would be strong and sexy) or just the plain old impatient thoughts of wanting the fat to melt off immediately. I remind myself this is going to take dedication and hard work and will not happen over night. It’s so easy for me to get consumed and obsessed over what is not going right, what still isn’t poppin’ off the way I want it to, and what’s still jiggling. It’s so easy for me to be overtaken with the transformation process and mental battles so for this week (and as often as I need to) I’m focusing on one positive thing per day. Maybe next week I’ll give myself the right to complain once (and only once) per day (prob. not nobody wants to hear that!-including myself). But for now, I’m focusing on the positive only. Yesterday I made it through a pretty tough for me workout and today’s positivity bite is….

I notice that I’m developing what I like to call “spunky booty” when I’m wearing my pants these days. It’s just starting to sit up there and look all cute in my jeans or tights or workout pants all spunky and fun like.  AND I’m not the only one noticing the spunky booty either. Dino at ruthless mentioned I looked like i was losing some weight but particularly my a@% (actually he was screaming it across the parking lot last night while hollerin’ for me to go faster) is looking tighter. AND one of my hot little trainer friends at the gym mentioned how I was gettin’ the booty back (we’ve had spunky booty convo’s before so he knows what’s up). I’m kinda psyched over it.

I’m adding regular running into my program this month and I’m sure many more squats/lunges/kettlebell swings are in my future- the booty should def. be ready to come out to play by the time my hubby is home from the sandbox- He WILL NOT know what happened to him.

For some reason I am having some serious mental battles going on with me lately and I just need to focus on the positive and keep moving in the forward direction through it all. So tonight I picked one positive thing to focus on- here it go!

Tonight I went to ruthless. I’ve changed up my schedule and routine quite a bit in this last week. I like it–anyway I went to ruthless and saw the workout posted on the wall and thought I was getting PUNK’D
25 pull ups

50 burpees (WTCrap!)

100 pushups

200 situps

400 squats (are u kidding me?)
2400m row machine
I was definitely doing squats for forever (actually I was just plain doing the workout for forever) and it was torture but I completed the workout. It felt good to accomplish that and when I did the burpees they were easier today. I also was surprised I was able to run like that (they make you run laps around the outside parking lot of the building).

So I finally uploaded my progress pics. Instead of being week 4 pictures they are week 5 pictures nevertheless, they are up. I can see some small differences. I put together some side by sides in Power point and can really tell a difference by doing that. Maybe I’ll figure out the formatting to show you guys some of those eventually.

Sometimes I feel like I want to give up and stop worrying about my weight.
I get angry and feel like I’m working my behind off for nothing. I get angry because I have to count meals and portion sizes and watch what I eat. Just mad at it all. Mad because I have to put in the effort because I have to think about it. Mad because I have to fight to get to where I’m going. Just pissed because Olympic rows are kicking my arse during a workout or because kettle bell squats have my thighs feeling like they are on fire and I still have half a set to go. When I am done I am truly PISSED at the exercise…but I did it. I accomplished it. I just fought to be that chick. You know the one that is inside me somewhere and is like the maximally awesome-ess version of myself that I can envision. I just fought to be more of her and less of this tired behind version, that is not her.
Yesterday some of my family poked a little fun at me because I have been boxing.For some reason they don’t get it. I don’t know why it comes as such a shock to them. Haven’t I been the one chick in the family all about payper viewing the fights since I was a little girl? Wasn’t I the little chick up early Saturdays to watch WWF (old school) wrestling every week? Who’s been the only one forever requesting to watch the old Kung Fu joints  with the bad dubs but awesome fight sequences since birth practically? Broke my arm climbing trees, riding bikes "like the boys", and wrestling little punks into the dirt? I mean HELLO.

But anyway, aside from those initial thoughts it did make me think about why I like boxing so much. I’ve decided its just in me. It’s in my heart. I feel like I’ve always fought,  (Oh, snap I feel a Ms. Sophia moment coming on…"All my life I had to fight…") internally/mentally mostly and I feel like what’s inside needs to match on the inside.

Despite a whole mess of BS that I’ve had go on in life I’ve never given up. I’ve felt like I wanted to throw in the towel but I never could. When I talk to other people who may have had some life issues as well, they talk about feeling like they could end it all. I don’t even understand that concept. Its like foreign langauge. Whenever I’ve gone thru anything my instinct inside has always said, "Must. survive. Must. make. it. thru. this."  And I have suffered thru some long & low valley periods in my life on many occasions. I have often wondered what makes the difference in how people handle themselves when life throws those curveballs. Why do some people crumble/self-destruct and why do some people take what they’ve been given and make life better? What’s the difference?
Anyway, getting back to my first paragraph. I have kinda been whining to my hubby about my anger and again he was pretty much like cut the bullshit and then he said something that really put it all into perspective for me…."You mean all the stuff you’ve been through and this is defeating you?"

DA-YUMN. Alrighty then, holleration.  Get it together sister.

PS.- Remember this is my public personal journal. I’m sharing w/ y’all. I’m not trying to say I’m so awesome, but more than anything I’m saying I’m struggling- I’m winning (today) but I struggle.

What an eye opener the NASM workshop was. It really brought a lot of the text I’ve been reading to life. I will say that my thing is lifting weights and bodybuilding and in a lot  of ways they seem kinda anti-bodybuilder. They are more pro-overall health and balance in training. There are things I like about that approach and things I don’t. It does give you room to grow into what type of trainer you want to be though. I’ll be changing my program in the next week to include a lot of their principles to see how I really feel about it all. Nevertheless, NASM is chocked full of science and knowledge; it definitely seems like a superior program. On the other hand I can see myself obtaining some continuing ed that focuses more on weight training too just because i like the kind of thing.
Anyway, i will say that I loved the workshop but I was so self conscious there. I was the ONLY person there carrying extra weigth there. I smoked in a lot of the exercises though so it was all good. You gotta start somewhere. I felt like I wanted to explain to everyone why I belonged there though….whatev. In the end I don’t owe anybody but myself an explanation and I know underneath the fear and the doubt I really do believe in myself and what I have in me.

So before I left I packed my food for the weekend and all that jazz. cottage cheese, fruit, tuna etc etc. i get to the hotel and there is no fridge in my room. SERIOUSLY!? i still managed to eat healthy but I didn’t eat very frequently and i didnt take my supplements because my schedule was so off. It’s getting easier and easier to make healthy choices…I really feel like I’ve made up my mind these days