Breaking the Chains that Bind

I realize  this is the week I have to REALLy step up my workout/nutrition game.  While I am very pleased with the fact that my workouts are kicking my butt (they’re supposed to, right?), I wonder if I am making any strides.  My cardio absolutely sucks and I’m really tiffed about that considering I worked my @$$ off to get my girlie mile run down to a 10 minute mile and now, I struggle with just half a mile.  I don’t want to harp on the negative too much but I am wanting to really get it going.  My diet is not PERFECT but I am consciously making an effort to reprogram my brain and strengthen my will power.  Knowing better means knowing if one isn’t going to DO BETTER and I WANT TO DO BETTER because I want to BE BETTER!

It’s only 10:35 but already I am pumped and looking forward to my evening workout.  It is really getting me going and I’m so motivated.  I am one of those people who find it absolutely FASCINATING to watch the human physique literally morph into something new.  For me, that is what reaching my goal will be.  I have been overweight for so long that I can’t even remember what it’s like to see the definition of my shoulders, back, or legs.  I never really had a lot of definition in my arms and I am itching for that to breakthrough.  My legs typically return the quickest.  I just want to keep the momentum going and I am doing my best to get lots of rest and not become discouraged.

Yesterday was my outdoor training day and despite the 96 degree heat, I was amped and ready.  Shortly before leaving my office, I learned of the death of Michael Jackson.  I was floored!  I thought about the loss of his life, Farah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon and was reminded of just how critical TODAY is.  I worked my @$$ off in that heat.  Kept hydrated and pushed through the pain.  I have goals I want to achieve long before my end and I realize time waits for no one.  This morning, I woke up with a renewed state of mind.  Everything I do, everything I say, everything I THINK MATTERS.  Words are thoughts, thoughts are words and ultimately, words ARE POWER.  There’s a new song in my spirit today and I want it to be there for years to come.  I am determined to be the ME I KNOW I AM, mentally, spiritually, and phsyically.  So each day, a new change will come starting with the girl in the mirror.

 I feel great about the workout I had last night and am looking forward to my workout tomorrow.  I’m motivated and I am determined to NOT BE DENIED this time around.

I won’t be deterred.  I am more determined than ever to get this weight off.  I am not doing it for vain reasons.  I want to be healthy and fit.  I want to be able to put on a pair of jeans and everything hit exactly where it’s supposed to.  I miss wearing halter tops and mid-driff tops. I used to have an incredibly sexy belly.  I don’t know that I’ll ever expose my tummy in public (ballooning 50 lbs. in less than 2 months during the final trimester of a pregnancy doesn’t do much in the way of cosmetic beauty to ones skin) but I would love have that hourglass figure I once had.  I want to be strong, healthy and confident once again.

I woke up this morning with fitness on the brain.  Despite some setbacks and outrageous work hours, I am focused once more.  I  have taken steps to get back on track.  I’ve revamped both my diet and workout program and now will have the outstanding guidance of an amazing trainer who is a bodybuilder herself.  I’m even more inspired to get where I want to be and hit it hard.  Here’s to the new me!

This week I have reacquainted myself with the weight room and am GLAD I did!  Yesterday was boot camp day and I am really improving my endurance (which I NEED).  This morning I did a total body workout and rested only during transitions from machine to machine.  I felt so charged and I hope to keep it going.

Well, I’ve been away for a while due to unforeseen circumstances.  For one, I have been dealing with a severe case of sciatica and it took me nearly a year to overcome it. With the help of a chiropractor and my consistent yoga practice, I am happy to say I am no longer crippled by that numbing pain that used to radiate from lower back, all the way down my left extremity.  Aside from that, I’ve been dealing with the near loss of my aunt who is morbidly obese.  The mental and emotional stress of that alone has taken its toll on me and sadly, I admit, I AM a stress eater.  So what little progress I made, I blew out the water during the past 7 1/2 months.  I am happy to say that my aunt did recover after dying on the table twice, being put on a ventilator, and confined to a bed for 5 1/2 months.  The upside of it all is that she literally lost 100 lbs!   After being released Unfortunately, she has recently been re-admitted to the hospital.  I do not want to venture the same path and even though I am a long way from it, I feel I must do everything I can NOW to ensure that 10, 20, and even 30 years from now, I am healthy, strong, fit - body, mind, and soul.  I went to the supplement store yesterday and purchased my supplements.  This morning I will be heading to the grocery store to purchase food for the week and tomorrow, I will be preparing my meals for the week.  I have to get into the habit of doing so to make sure I stay AWAY from the unhealthy vending machine at my job.  My water intake has been decent overall.  I have been consuming between 72 and 96 oz. of water daily.  Later today I will prepare the workout plan.  I’m pumped! I’m psyched and I’m ready to do it this time around. Failure is NOT an option!

Okay, so my last entry found me feeling ambiguous about my workouts and my potential progress.  Since that time, I have finally developed a system which I think is actually working.  It’s challenging for those of us who are so busy or get so distracted by the noise around us that we don’t take the time to tune it all out and tune into ourselves.  Well, I’ve begun doing just that.  I’m listening to my body….ACTIVELY listening to it.  I’ve experimented between a few workout approaches and now realize that total body workouts actually work best for me.  So, my approach now is M - W - F / Cardio/Abdominals (30 - 50 min), T - Th - S / Total Body Resistance Training (45 - 60 min).  I find that I am really enjoying this.  I’m switching up the way I hit certain muscle groups (for the shock factor) and will be incorporating swimming in the next 2 weeks.  I feel like it is finally coming together.  I stressed over the scale so much but not I realize it isn’t about the numbers on the scale.  My clothes are fitting much better and I’ve had several people at work approach me to ask what I’ve been up to because they see a "physical change" in me. *can you see the big cheesy grin on my face right now?* That definitely has me pumped and I’m motivated…not to mention I am finally able to see some definition coming in across my chest and my arms.  I’m so hype right now!  Stay tuned, there’ll be much more to come…

Okay.  I figured I would switch things up a bit as I am finding it difficult to focus on everything I want to do (due to serious time constraints as of late).  I tried to figure which is the lesser of two evils.  I really want to build lean muscle but I also REALLY want to burn this excess fat so I can *SEE* the lean muscle I am building.  I no longer (for the moment) have the luxury of twice a day in the gym and so my afternoon cardio sessions are temporarily on hold .  Being that I am not doing the total body workouts 3 days a week with cardio in between, I am finding the numbers on the scale slowly rising.  I am going to trust that I am gaining muscle since my weekly routine is Mon - Chest/Tri’s/Shoulders, Tue - Back/Bi’s, Wed - Legs/Abs, Thurs - Chest/Tri/s/Shoulders Fri - Back/Bi’s, Sat. & Sun. Rest

I seriously need to clean this up a ton.  I THINK my body responds better to the total body workouts in terms of leaning and defining but for the sake of building the muscle I want, the current method of doing things is working. (Sigh)  WHO KNOWS????  I can say I am feeling stronger.  I’ve actually surprised myself and my boyfriend with how strong my back is.  I’m working on improving the strength of my chest and it is coming along okay.  My main thing is trying to prevent myself from feeling like I am spinning my wheels and running in place….. I’m still optimistic that I can make some dramatic things happen in the next 3 months.  Stay tuned…..