Vision, Dedication & Sacrifice

This is my story?
As the youngest of 5 you’d think I was the spoiled one…right? I was raised in an alcoholic family and had to learn to fend for myself early. I grew up taught that you didn’t share your problems with other people. You kept them to yourself. You dealt with them on your own. My dad raised me to be an independent woman that didn’t need to rely on anyone. I would do everything on my own. And how dare people ask if I needed help. I wasn’t going to have anyone think that I was incompetent. I was just fine, thank you. I was very short tempered, insecure, and mouthy. You name it. That was me. I didn’t have a good relationship with my father and it littered on my life. And when college came without a softball scholarship, there came the blame of you should have done better.
I went to away to school my freshman year and then transferred schools to be closer to home so I could commute. Commuting 50 minutes each way and 18 credit hours did a number on my waistline. Waitressing led me to smoking, then to partying and binge eating. Soon I felt the wrath of my fathers drinking on my school tuition. I had to deregister after 2 1/2 years into my pharmacy degree. The bottle was more important than my college tuition. There came the blame again of not having a softball scholarship. It was my fault.
I had bartended and waitressed until I moved in with my sister in 2002. That was when I got a factory job where she worked as an HR Director and enrolled into massage therapy school. I was working 40+ hours per week while going to school full time. When I applied to massage therapy school, was and still to this day, has been the most pivotal moment in my life. I took a good look at myself in the mirror. Who was this 200lb, size 16 woman that was looking at me in the mirror? January of 2004 I bought my first Muscle & Fitness Hers magazine and got myself onto Slim-Fast. Who would look at me and think that I am an advocate of health and wellness? This sloppy mess? Something had to be done.
This has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done! I worked hard and was exhausted everyday. I trained 3-4 days per week, followed the Slim fast diet, while working full time and going to school full time! I graduated from massage school in Sept. 2004 and immediately had a job. I was still working where my sister was and seeing clients in the evening and on Saturdays. I left that job in the factory and decided to practice massage full time. At that time I was with a man that (in hind sight) was afraid of commitment, was slowly everyday developing a drinking habit, and everyday we were growing in different directions. He nor any of our friends understood why I ate they way I did, or why I didn’t drink or why making it to the gym to train was a priority in my life.
In January of 2007 I met, who today is one of the most important people in my life, Emma-Leigh from www.Bodybuilding.com. I had made a lot of progress since quitting my hay days of beer and cigarettes. But I was frustrated at my lack of results. I lacked sound nutritional advice. I was going off one of those generalized nutrition articles in Oxygen magazine. My body liked to put on muscle and I was eating like a bodybuilder and bulking when I was trying to lose! In January ?07 I was 165lbs and 28% body fat. It took only 6 months of working with her doing my nutrition and training programs for me to leave my once hoped-to-be fianc?. This led me to my best friend and soul mate Matthew. A few job changes led me to my final resting place for my massage career in my born-again home town. I practice there to this day.
Another moment that serves as just about the most inspirational day in my life today, is watching the Pro’s on stage at the 2008 Arnold Classic with Matthew. I left with a million thoughts of “should I compete?”. Emma can back me up on this. A lot of people came to me and asked if I compete prior to the Arnold epiphany. So many people believed more than I ever did that I “had” what it took to compete. I “had” it?? I annoyed Emma and toyed with the thoughts of competing. It didn’t take long before Emma and I analyzed what would be an appropriate time frame. Oct. 25th at the Western Michigan Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure championships would be my debut. Today 8 weeks out and 19 months after I started with Emma, I stand at 153lbs and 13% body fat. I was on top of the world, working at a local fitness center as a Fitness Sales Coach and seeing my massage therapy clients in my office.

The economy has taken its toll on everyone and I haven’t been immune. I struggled to make ends meet for a few years now and hid it from anyone. Again going back to my upbringing, I didn’t want to be labeled a failure, fear of being embarrassed of my debt and trying to believe in every ounce of myself that I would get through this on my own. Today I am making baby steps to repair my credit, and save money. Which this leads me to where I am today. I had got into an altercation with a member, and my employer bailed on me. They chose to stand by a member versus myself in fear of jeopardizing their reputation if word got out. I went to them in confidence and I lost my job. This was just 8-29-08. 8 weeks out, I have to look for a job, and all my hard work may go to waste. I cannot give up my passion of competing and earning my pro card. I believe, absolute and certain, that competing is my ticket out of living paycheck to paycheck. I don’t have the money for suits. I don’t have the money for supplements. Now I don’t have a gym membership nor a sponsor for my show to pay my entry fee. I have enough to put a roof over me and my cats heads, keep my car running, keep the lights on and the water running, and get by buying 1 pound of chicken at a time. I am looking for a roommate (even though I love living by myself!) I am applying for jobs every where including Target. I have an interview set up already. I can’t give up now, I am not a quitter. And as much as I hate asking for help, I know that I cannot do this on my own. I cannot compete without help. I have nowhere else to turn. I have come so far, overcame criticism, overcame a broken 4 year relationship, and trying to overcome being left to sink from my employer, all to quit and give up everything I have worked so hard for.
I am a believer. I am a good honest woman that loves to help, teach and heal people with my life’s? experiences. I give so much to have it all taken away. I don’t want to be a charity case and have people think, “oh poor Tricia”. You’d be humble knowing you have helped “The Making of an Amazon”. I appreciate you taking time to read this.

Please visit my bodyspace and my journal if you are interested.

I am trying to get a fundraiser set up throught bb.com at the moment in hopes that I can do this! You can go to paypal and send money to onebodymindsoul@yahoo.com. I tried to add a “donate” button but HTML is not active on here.

THanks so so much for reading