MyQnA’s BodyBlog

It has been a year since I made a conscious effort to bodybuild.  In the beginning of this journey, I suppose I thought it was as easy as talking a walk.  I would just do it and my body would tow the line.  The reality is that it has been one of the most difficult parts of my lifestyle changes.  I have to eat to live.  Everyone does right?  So, why is this the part that seems to be killing all of my efforts.  I watch every morsel every calorie the good the bad and the unknown.  I recalculate the rest of my day if I slip up and eat crap or if I have no control over what is being served.  I have nearly conquered my fibromyalgia, my emphysema is still kicking my ass but, I run and I do other cardio to be sure to keep any further damage at bay.  I have been on vacations NY, Paris, Tampa blah blah blah.  I still integrated working out into those "breaks".  I had plastic surgery and even still did not allow the six week wait to keep me out of focus.  The main goal is to be the in the best shape possible.  To honor and protect the vessel God has given me.  I have dislocated my knee and still I am in the game.  I have to say all of this has occurred over the past year.  So now I must look forward.  I must look onward and I must change it up in order to succeed.

I am making a few promises to myself.  Live Clean!  Over the next year my fitness goals will morph into something I may not recognize and I want to enjoy the journey as well as the destination so I promise myself to keep my body and mind clean.  Trying to focus on the positive and still keeping a healthy hand in fixing the negatives.  I promise a monthly fast.  I will give myself 24 hours of light fluids and prayer.  I will make one last promise to myself, to love me.  It is the last but the most important, I really need to get into loving me completely.  Not just the good or obviously good but the whole picture, I think that is the key to a more realist view of my accomplishments and my challenges.

~Be Strong and Be Blessed 

I am really in this for something different than building fantastic excellently sculpted muscles.  I am in it for strength.  I am so excited when I think about how strong I can get or how strong other women are because then I think **** I can to.  We are all pretty much genetically the same.  That said, I am still realistic.  I have been playing with this machine for the longest and today I MAXED it out!!!!!! I did 70kg on the abductor machine and it was great.  But now what?  I think it is because I fell head over heels in love with side lunges so therefore I have the strength there.  But, can I just go back to side lunges and are they working the same muscle group?  Have I really accomplished anything?  Is this just another set back mentally because I still have a hell of a lot flab hanging on.  But, I am kind of stoked about being able to do this and I want more,  I am actually hungry not for food but for strength.  Each leg workout seems to get better and better but this was a solid workout no flares no 160 kilo presses no bells no whistles just me and the weights and I really felt good about it.  So blah blah blah

Be Blessed and Be Strong

I think I tend to post more about my physical activity and less about my eating and that is so key to getting to the goals we want.  Nutrition is seriously the fuel we live on.  So would you ever dream of filling your Mercedes S class with regular unleaded?????? Hell to the No…..now why in the world am I standing in the kitchen thinking that is I get enough water in I will eat tator tots for dinner???? Hell to the NO!!!

I bought fresh veggies this week at the market and I made sure top have all the things I needed to prep a salad if I was in the kitchen doing the blank stare.  You know your mind goes out of the room for a minute while you inhale anything not bolted to the floor.  then you feel like **** and your mind comes back like, "Hey I ain’t seen ****." 

Well I got in the same zone I do in the morning when I need to kick my ass into super gear for a run or a workout.  Fresh spinach check, red onions check, cherry tomatoes check, olive oil check, balsamic vinegar check.  I did it!!!!! For the first time inn a very long long long time I actually made a fast quick and healthy choice.  I don’t know how I could have added protein to this salad but if you got any ideas hit me up.  remember it has to be quick because when that mind shuts off and hunger turns on I have to have quick and simple. 

One for team Max and Nill for team Greedy

PS I coudl only finish half this regualr size bowl of salad so I have left overs for the night hunger!!!!

Somewhere in life I learned if you want something say it, believe it, really believe it.  You don’t have to tell the world tell God, tell yourself, just say it aloud.

This evening I was watching TV looking for something to watch and there was an episode of made on.  I love this show only because it pushes people outside of their comforts zones in order to be comfortable with themselves even if they don’t realize it.  So, the trainer says to the girl " How can I support you when you are pissing and moaning something you want?  You asked for this!"  Now I am paraphrasing but, so damn true.

Some people won’t get where I am coming from but, I have heard it is ugly for women to lift weight, and that I should focus on cardio stay away from the weights.  Instead of saying this is my PASSION this make me feel like a WOMAN and this is what drives me every single day.  I sort of laugh it off and say oh no it is just something to do or haha no big deal I am just "training". 

How can I expect anyone to stand behind me and support me when I behave as if I am ashamed of what I am doing as if because I am girl they should not take me seriously.  It is no wonder I have no serious support behind my fitness goals.  Well enough of that bulls*it.  I will speak it and be proud of it remembering if I don’t believe in me no one else will. 

I have no clue where to start what to write or where to stop.  I am super excited and so happy.  Well for starters I had to take a break not because I wanted to but because life said so.  I was only able to go back to the gym today for the first time in like forever in my brain.  Anyway i normally workout in the morning and I like to keep things the way I like them but, no daycare in the morning and the lady I had asked previously to watch my son was real shady so i didn’t even bother.  we biked for about 10 miles and I was like well I ill go this afternoon even though i had to register for classes and do a weight with the neighbor ladies.  plus I wanted to go to a concert.  You would think the man would be here on time so I could get the hell out.  I mean I was really sad all day like you are just gonna get fat again and you are gonna look like **** and all your hard work will be for nothing and blah blah blah. 

But shut up and sit down.  I went to the gym at around six.  This for whatever reason is peak time.  but I didn’t let get me.  I put my game face on and killed it.  Oh wait sorry I mean I KILLED IT!!!!  I am like all over the place.  ok back up.  He was late and I had a funky attitude like die bitch don’t speak to me.

Side bar…totally wrong and out of pocket of me.  I can’t have every bleeping thing go my way all the time.  I need to grow the F up on that tip.

OK back to why I am so damn happy.  I wanted to squat 100 lbs.  I felt that would be a good effort.  I just threw the weight up there and was like whatever.  I did 132 lbs saw oh yeah baby (Austin Powers Style)  Then I have always wanted to max out the leg press and have the most awesomest quads on the planet.  But that is for another time.  The machine at the gym goes up to 190kg.  Today with some effort ok I felt it and I loved it I leg pressed 160kg that is like 350 lbs.  Can you sit down…and shut up.  LOLOLOL I can’t and baby I’m coming for it.  190 ain’t no joke but neither am I so bring it!!!

Be Blessed and Be strong!!

These super sets are super hard.  I went tot he gym this morning and I forgot to take my book so I had to hope that I could remember all the exercises that I had to do.  I was good enough to only forget two.  Now as I type I am strongly considering going back tot he gym and do them.  I want completion.  I want to know that all my hard work was for something and that all the effort in documenting, following the correct eating and researching is going to get me where I want to be.  But and this is a big BUT everything is for a reason, I am sore and I am tired.  I think if I use my grown folks thinking cap, I know I need to take my self right to the couch and rest.  I have a long day ahead tomorrow I have a formal tea, I need to try to pluck my own eyebrows and figure out makeup, I have to try my dress on for a fitting and lololol I just have so much on my brain not to mention my first day of super set shoulders.  Can you say rest rest rest.  I can and I guess I done gone and made up my mind.

can anyone tell  this was not edited??

Be Blessed and Be Strong!

I think I am totally confused about what my physical reaction should be to these new exercises.  I expected to be so tired and just have to fight for every rep.  Instead it was ok….it was not easy but it was not hard.  Perhaps I am not going heavy enough.  At the end I was not fatigued and the exercises seem simple.  Now I am only speaking from the few hours after.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring.  It is possible I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.  So we shall see.  I guess I want more and I want it now.  I want to hit the gym and go hard every time.  In this case it will be wait and see because, after 6 different types of leg exercises and 30 min of hard push it cardio I still have something left to give.  Or perhaps I am finally getting a hang of this.

I think I listen to too much of today’s hottest R&B hip hop lololol yes HOT 97 makes it’s way to Belgium.  Anyway I just wanna be .  I have been trying so hard to be something do something make something happen but it is time to man up and decide what the hell that actual means.  I am have to be able to give something back at the end of the day if all I have served is myself then i have failed and I am not successful.  So i don’t need the money the cars the clothes or the hoes but I suppose, If I can be successful I need to give back.  I plan on jumping my website off in the next few months and the only goal is to inspire other women like me who are me or were me that you are in control and you can achieve greatness.  In that I will be successful.

I have my doubts that the number on the scale is even worth looking at anymore.  I know muscle weighs more than fat.  But the years of telling myself not to gain another pound or that this is the last diet, or this will work and voila you will magically be that much thinner.  It has really stuck in my head that if the number goes up then my self worth goes down.  Only when I look at myself training and when i see the amount I can lift getting higher and higher I feel good.  I won’t let that number make that choice for me.  I have other numbers that can do it just fine…..let’s start (Philippians) 4:13…I know I am strong through Christ.  Or 5 I am one of 5 morbidly obese children.  I am giving this fat a run for it’s money.  Then there is 4, i have four children who rely on my strength of character and l love of life to get them through.  I must continue to be that woman for them and then 1.  Yes 1 such a small number but I am one and it is me against the machine.  Me against the odds and me who will stand firm and focused in order to achieve all of my fitness and weight lifting goals.  so if the scale says 250 or 150 as long as i am fit and strong let it do what it do…although it would hurt if it was 250 and like 8% bodyfat lololol.  Be blessed and of course be strong!