Just get with it
So for this 4th of July I can only say I am free from the burden of caring anymore. I will be as transparent as i can and if someone somewhere doesn’t like it close the damn page.
I am struggling right now with my body image. In ways that I had not previously. I feel like something is not right with my body. I mean when I was 372lbs I was still hot **** in my mind. I had great legs huge tits and was never short on attention from whomever. Then I had WLS and through the process I still never really let what I looked like stop my flow. I know I am not a supermodel and hell I ain’t hardly trying to be. But, now that I look at the final results or what I am seeing as final results it breaks my heart.
what did I do to the body God gave me. Did I do this out of vanity and am I now being punished??? Did I over do it in the beginning of the recovery stage and now I ****ed something up? Did I just have a run of bad luck and this is the way it is going to be a disfigured horrid creature? I don’t know and I am not sure I just have a lot of angst over what the future holds and I want all the answers today not tomorrow and I want to know now that I am going to be ok and blah blah blah…I just want it on the record that I did workout today and will hit the gym again tomorrow. i am still not drinking and I am still keeping my faith in God he will get me through this and it will all be ok. even if I rant and vent to get it out and off my chest I know he will deliver me to exactly where I should be.
July 5, 2009 at 4:24 am
You are doing awesome! Look at all the progress you’ve made, and rant all you want…sometimes it gives us the fire to keep going!! Never give up!