MyQnA’s BodyBlog

So as I look back over the past month and I see that I have stayed focused, I am pelased.  I think I can do better I will do better.  But mor eimportantly I have not lost my desire to workout.  I have not given up and I have not let anything slow me down.  I am headed to the gym tomorrow to do chest and triceps.  I intend to stay as focused as I have been the past few days but, I will try to wake up earlier so I can eat properly to fuel my body.  That way when I get hungry later on it will not be out of control hunger and I can eat sensible.  I just wanted to recap for myself that it is worth every moment and every ache.  I am proud of myself for sticking to it.

I was on the sidelines for a few days with my mind figuring out what to do next.  How to give more where to find that inner strength to give more.  When like all things we need my God showed me it is he that strengthens me.  I don’t need to look with in when he is all around me and he moves through me.  His spirit will renew mine. 

In case I didn’t say it before.  I will say it now.  I am going to do it this year.  i know we all get energized with the new year and resolutions are made only to be forgotten.  But, I am staying the course and I can’t say it enough I woke up this morning with a song in my heart and the Lord on my mind.  He has blessed em to be here to be alive and to live well.  I will pay it forward.  I will endure and I will succeed.  Because my God is a conqueror and I am in his likeness.  I can do this and so can you.  So if it means parking further away from the house.  Walking to the bakery, 2 more minutes on the treadmill.  I got this and I am on my game.

I am just stuck in my head.  I know I am doing ok and I should really just keep focused but, I am losing support and refuse to quit.  I have to believe in me.  I have to continue to believe in me and I have to show it.  I am giving it my all this week.  I will squeeze those workouts in no matter what.  I have my schedule on lock hardly anything is flexible now that I have signed up for new classes.  But, I have come too damn far to turn back now.  I will proudly tell anyone who will listen, I was 372lbs of hot mess and a few years shy of 30 I could not walk unassisted.  Now I am nearly 180 and run not because I have to.  So I guess just do it right, don’t worry about when I workout as long as I workout.  I hope I can get one in today I have not a had a real workout in 2 days and I feel like crap.  I feel like I am starting to fail myself because it has gone down this road so many times before.  OK out the door plan is to hit the gym after I register my son for school but before I buy groceries.

I just got home from a weekend away where eating and drinking were at the top of the agenda and well working out was somewhere between going home and going to sleep.  I took stairs everywhere I could.  I counted all the steps at the Arc D’Triumphe and well 284 plus 68 sounds good to me.  i am prepared to go into the gym this week and kick butt my butt that is.  I didnt go overboard with eating but, I miss the gym like crazy and i don’t want to slow my progress.  I hope I can give it my all and stay focused with having what seems likve forever away from the gym I am a little nervous.  Oh well off to bed and on to a good workout tomorrow.

Today I am that much older and not that much wiser.  I had a crap load of housework to do like getting things ready for our new bedroom and such.  It is also my birthday and we are leaving for Paris tomorrow so packing was underway.  Needless to say with that mountain of excuses.  I had no workout today and I feel like crap.  I really wish I could have squeezed in some form of a workout but, it is what it is and a day off may just be ok.  Tomorrow I hit the chest and triceps.  I soooo badly want to increase the weight on my bench but I don’t know if I am ready and I still have no spotter.  Maybe I can convince one of the guys around the weights tomorrow to help me.  Who knows I  am so lousy at talking to men.  I actually destroyed an innocent hanger while shopping last week because a guy came up to me and started flirting.  Ok so that is the least of my worries but, if I am going to add weight I am going to need help.  Off to bed.  i know the theory early to bed early to rise makes a stone columns out of my jelly thighs…..lololol…..no just happy to have another birthday. 

I just feel guilty for not giving it the best workout I could and for not at least getting in some cardio

I did my workout and I did decent on eating but, I can’t but feel a little homesick today.  I have been watching President Obama and First Lady Michelle take office I will go back but it inspires me somewhat to know that anyone can do anything today and there should be no limit to what you want.  I won’t be too preachy or too political because there is a place and time for all that jazz.  But, I miss my America today!!! I am a patriot through and through and when it comes down to it I am blessed to be that.  Have a great night guys I will go back to the TV.

As a woman is it ok to call yourself a Beast.  To say I want to get Beast.  To even think it.  I am not being sexist.  When I think Beast I think of men that could crush you in the palm of their hand.  I think Marv from Sincity.  I think I want that.  So, I say that to say this.  I want to get Beast to be Beast.  I am not playing people.  I want be able to have enough muscle that I can see it without flexing and to be able to have a physique to rival some men.  Well that is not today or even this year but you have to speak it to own it and well for now…….Don’t feed the Beast! 

I need to improve my tricep workout.  It felt good today doing the tricep pull down with the ropes but.  It is the only workout I can do with the tricep that does not hurt my shoulders.  I have gone down from 20lbs to about 8 lbs because I can’t handle the stress on my shoulders.  What am I doing wrong?  How can I improve this and my my shoulders stronger?  Perhaps it is my form.  Maybe I just need to stay light on the tricep workout until it is perfected.  I don’t know but it is frustrating when you re trying to add size to a particularly flabby and ugly part of your body.  I am giving it the same old college try that I do for my legs.  Now ask me if I can add weight there with no issue.  I will be easy and I won’t injure myself but I could sure use some guidance in the triceps.

I re did my bicep and back workout today.  I am sure some might think I am begging for an injury.  However i am careful not to overtrain and I just didn’t feel like I had given my all the day before so, why not.  i cut it back a little and focused on correct positioning of the barbell for my close grip curl.  I don’t think i have it correct yet.  Then I also worked on my seated incline curls.  I feel weird sitting back like that.  But, ok it was a much better workout.  I had far more energy and I took my time to analyze what I was doing.  I would rather have it perfect that mess around and hurt myself.

I am still very psyched about the new gym.  But what I think I love the most is that nearly 90% of the people there when I am there are over 45 and men.  I notice they do little in the way of socializing and don’t even care that I am there as long as I clean up behind myself and stay out of their way.  i don’t mind this.  But, what I really like is I noticed some of them give a quick nod and smile when passing or leaving.  Today, I got the nod and sit down wait for it wait for it……a hello.  Now to most this is nothing but, what I have learned from observing is men in this status are there to work out and what they do not to be seen not to hit on you and not to make you uncomfortable.  So, I felt good to be greeted warmly.  So another reason I love this gym.  Go men over 45 who can kick butt at the gym and still remember how to be polite to a lady.