MsMotoMaverick’s BodyBlog

Lately, I’m finding myself in pretty strange situations, mainly pertaining to my personal life.

 I’m going to see a counselor in hopes to get  some outside advice that could possibly be fruitful. My girlfriend goes to one, and she says it really gives her some good insight into what she’s doing, and brings her attention to some of her destructive qualities. I could probably benefit from that.

I don’t really feel "depressed" per say….. just never satisfied if that makes sense. I think I’m more along the lines of a private loner…? I like being alone….having my own space. I think that’s why my relationships don’t really work out b/c I always do the long distance thing. Probably b/c I have trouble committing to someone.  ahh….well that sounds bad, hmm i suppose I like having that air of independence, and males always seem to try and take that away.

I believe in soul mates and all that good stuff, but I also realize that relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. Believe me…

But I think just emotionally, I want to be with someone who makes me work for it a little bit. Some one who is my equal and COMPLIMENTS me as opposed to dimming my light. Someone who knows how I’m feeling and gives me just what I need when I need it….. I’m pretty low maintience when it comes to all the gushy stuff- I know it doesn’t sound that way. But I OFTEN find myself in a "role reversal" when in a relationship where i am the male emotionally, and he is the female. Has that happened to any of you?

And then it’s a turn off, b/c they become too needy and emotional. It’s totally fine to be vulnerable, but don’t just give your balls away. Well, that’s mean….i didn’t really mean that as that….just as an expression.

I dunno whether that is because i was primarily raised by men, and I enjoy hunting, diving, spear fishing….anything to do with guns ( I have 3 brothers) but I think I’m really feminine as well.

I like confidence but dislike arrogance. I think it’s important to be humble, but always striving for more.

 I think my standards are just too high.

 The good thing is that all these thoughts are being converted into drive which makes for a better workout. haha that’s how i work through the stress…i just throw myself into my workouts.

Rambling on….just a subject that’s bothering me a bit….thought I’d blog on it.

Lately, I’m finding myself in pretty strange situations, mainly pertaining to my personal life.

 I’m going to see a counselor in hopes to get  some outside advice that could possibly be fruitful. My girlfriend goes to one, and she says it really gives her some good insight into what she’s doing, and brings her attention to some of her destructive qualities. I could probably benefit from that.

I don’t really feel "depressed" per say….. just never satisfied if that makes sense. I think I’m more along the lines of a private loner…? I like being alone….having my own space. I think that’s why my relationships don’t really work out b/c I always do the long distance thing. Probably b/c I have trouble committing to someone.  ahh….well that sounds bad, hmm i suppose I like having that air of independence, and males always seem to try and take that away.

I believe in soul mates and all that good stuff, but I also realize that relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. Believe me…

But I think just emotionally, I want to be with someone who makes me work for it a little bit. Some one who is my equal and COMPLIMENTS me as opposed to dimming my light. Someone who knows how I’m feeling and gives me just what I need when I need it….. I’m pretty low maintience when it comes to all the gushy stuff- I know it doesn’t sound that way. But I OFTEN find myself in a "role reversal" when in a relationship where i am the male emotionally, and he is the female. Has that happened to any of you?

And then it’s a turn off, b/c they become too needy and emotional. It’s totally fine to be vulnerable, but don’t just give your balls away. Well, that’s mean….i didn’t really mean that as that….just as an expression.

I dunno whether that is because i was primarily raised by men, and I enjoy hunting, diving, spear fishing….anything to do with guns ( I have 3 brothers) but I think I’m really feminine as well.

I like confidence but dislike arrogance. I think it’s important to be humble, but always striving for more.

 I think my standards are just too high.

 The good thing is that all these thoughts are being converted into drive which makes for a better workout. haha that’s how i work through the stress…i just throw myself into my workouts.

Rambling on….just a subject that’s bothering me a bit….thought I’d blog on it.

So just for an update on last night….

I definately behaved myself. I drank a water and pretty much sat by myself the entire night, BECAUSE… my girlfriend that went out to the club with met some random dude and chatted him up alllllllllllllllllllllllll night.

 I did not have a dancing partner, bc she was too busy dancing with him. That’s fine… and I understand she wants to meet someone and hopefully get a boyfriend but when it’s just us two girls….I need my partner to fend off the gropers on the floor!

Speaking of gropers…UGH! I think it is just so rude for men to cop a feel ESPECIALLY when they’re all sloppy and drunk and think they are doing it discreetly..but they don’t realize how blatant they were.

But I can understand….b/c I’ve grabbed some cute booties before on the floor in my short 22 yrs. on earth haha…. yet the part that is the worst for me is when they grab you. Like not just tap your shoulder or wink at you across the room ( if that ever really happens b/c it hasn’t happened to me ha which is another story…another blog… ) anyway,  but grab your wrist and pull you or your arm…as some would a child.

I know the purpose o f the "pull" but I think it’ kind of disrespectful? hmm. I could be just overly sensitive, but I get to the point where I just look at them and say " don’t touch me" Is that mean?

Honey, I have my own house, my own car….I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T…..do you know what that means…..?!!

 Personally, on my the topic of my girl ignoring me all night, I just don’t think you meet your soul mate ( don’t laugh, I believe in that! ) at a dance club. I mean it’s possible, it would have to be a particular scenario; but for me I NEVER EVER take home dudes from a club, nor do make out with them all night. Hell, I’m a corpsman so I’m totally aware of all the little critters you can catch. Sorry, I don’t need that type of friend for life! Call me conservative, but it’s just not my style. AND if I were to meet a guy I was attracted to, I’d prefer him to not be abliverated and be rather composed? I don’t think that is too much to ask.

So, after all the whinning is said and done…. I’ve come to realize that the club scene is not me. It’s appealing if i’m wasted and wanna dance with a group of my friends, I’ll go again. But, until then….I’ll stay at home and watch Jon and Kate Plus Eight, ( it’s the cutest show ever BTW) wish that I wasn’t a loner and fold this looming pile of clean laundry winking across the room at me! hahah

 Just felt like ranting and raving… I’m off to the gym for a bit of cardio.  AND for the record… I did jut have my edamame and a bit of sushi and it was amazing last night! Last night was the first night since I’ve been back from deployment that I didn’t drink or eat 4 rolls of sushi all to myself! I love sushi! m’m m’m m’m! I AM SOOOO PROUD OF MYSELF! yay for me.

Thanks for reading…!

<3 Jess

So just for an update on last night….

I definately behaved myself. I drank a water and pretty much sat by myself the entire night, BECAUSE… my girlfriend that went out to the club with met some random dude and chatted him up alllllllllllllllllllllllll night.

 I did not have a dancing partner, bc she was too busy dancing with him. That’s fine… and I understand she wants to meet someone and hopefully get a boyfriend but when it’s just us two girls….I need my partner to fend off the gropers on the floor!

Speaking of gropers…UGH! I think it is just so rude for men to cop a feel ESPECIALLY when they’re all sloppy and drunk and think they are doing it discreetly..but they don’t realize how blatant they were.

But I can understand….b/c I’ve grabbed some cute booties before on the floor in my short 22 yrs. on earth haha…. yet the part that is the worst for me is when they grab you. Like not just tap your shoulder or wink at you across the room ( if that ever really happens b/c it hasn’t happened to me ha which is another story…another blog… ) anyway,  but grab your wrist and pull you or your arm…as some would a child.

I know the purpose o f the "pull" but I think it’ kind of disrespectful? hmm. I could be just overly sensitive, but I get to the point where I just look at them and say " don’t touch me" Is that mean?

Honey, I have my own house, my own car….I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T…..do you know what that means…..?!!

 Personally, on my the topic of my girl ignoring me all night, I just don’t think you meet your soul mate ( don’t laugh, I believe in that! ) at a dance club. I mean it’s possible, it would have to be a particular scenario; but for me I NEVER EVER take home dudes from a club, nor do make out with them all night. Hell, I’m a corpsman so I’m totally aware of all the little critters you can catch. Sorry, I don’t need that type of friend for life! Call me conservative, but it’s just not my style. AND if I were to meet a guy I was attracted to, I’d prefer him to not be abliverated and be rather composed? I don’t think that is too much to ask.

So, after all the whinning is said and done…. I’ve come to realize that the club scene is not me. It’s appealing if i’m wasted and wanna dance with a group of my friends, I’ll go again. But, until then….I’ll stay at home and watch Jon and Kate Plus Eight, ( it’s the cutest show ever BTW) wish that I wasn’t a loner and fold this looming pile of clean laundry winking across the room at me! hahah

 Just felt like ranting and raving… I’m off to the gym for a bit of cardio.  AND for the record… I did jut have my edamame and a bit of sushi and it was amazing last night! Last night was the first night since I’ve been back from deployment that I didn’t drink or eat 4 rolls of sushi all to myself! I love sushi! m’m m’m m’m! I AM SOOOO PROUD OF MYSELF! yay for me.

Thanks for reading…!

<3 Jess

So, this is my first blog…here goes!

 Weekend Temptations.

Personally, I find that the weekends are really difficult to avoid and resist temptations. America is a consumers nation, and every where you look junk is packaged in bright attractive advertisement.

Right now, I’m trying to find a way to maintain a social life AND stay true to my diet and training. I often question if having both is even possible. It’s difficult for me to find friends who are as in love with a healthy life style as I am, which in turn would support me in avoiding cheating myself.

So i suppose i can just keeping my positive attitude and lock myself in my condo, until i can find people like me? haha i’m only kidding, but for instance…on the agenda tonight is Ladies night.

Needless to say, I love a girls night out, but it’s difficult for me NOT to go out and order the bad type of sushi and say no to Sake bombs….and shots of patron at the club we are going to after din ;)

 So tonight, I am going to test myself. I was allowing myself a cheat meal here and there but I’ve completely taken it out of my diet now-a-days. I gain weight like it’s my job or something so I’m settling on Sashimi and a bit of unsalted edamame with LOTS of H2O (<- with lemon of course As for avoid the shots of liqour….I’ll force myself to say no by being the D.D. ( and I DON’T mean the Designated Drunk haha *maybe on my 23rd birthday next year*)

 On a "up" note, I chest pressed 155lbs at the END of my push and pull workout and repped it 3 x’s. It’s pretty exciting. I bet i could do more, had I not been fatigued. Also, my legs are so sore I’m walking bo-legged it seems (not really but it certainly feels that way) so I’ll just dance out the lactic acid build up in these hams/glutes of mine. haha. And who says a bit of cardio can’t be fun?!

<3

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