THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

Ok, my weight is up to 128 and I feel good.  The abs are a bit buried, but what the Hell.  I need to gain a little weight to built the legs.  No…not 25 lbs, but ten would be good.  I may even try out 140 as last year my bulk weight got to 130……strip it down to 125 by March and the Arnold Amateur and its all good. 

I have been lifting like a maniac all weekend and tonight I am taking off.  i think I have been going over a week straight and it starts catching up to me.  I did super heavy back the other day and I was so smoked.  My middle back felt like hamburger.  I maxed out at 130 on my lat press downs….I impressed myself actually.  Last night was some shoulders and tris.  My tris hardly ever fail to get sore, but the shoulders……..I kill them and they have grown quite a big.  My issue with them is that my traps and pretty pronounced, so my shoulders dont look as big as some girls on stage…the same goes because of my upper arms being pretty pronounced, if I had a smaller outer arm..they’d look bigger.  Another isssue is my adductor (thats the one going out on the windshield wiper machine I think) anyway, Im pretty pronounced there to..so I am not working them anymore.  And no more heavy oblique training……waist is too thick.  I will still do abs, photographers love abs, but not as heavy as I used to. 

I do like being heavier, but superlean is hard to let go of!!  Frankly, my gym pants look better on me when I got a bigger but and legs and you get such a better pump. Looking in the mirror Im thinking I look jacked up  and its awesomely empowering to be honest. 

I have been eatinbg like ahorse though.  Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, potatoes, whole wheat pasta, protein shakes.  I want GOOD weight, not junk food weight.  I did eat a whole can of Pringles last weekend by myself though.  I have my moments. 

I hope everyone is doing great! Enjoy the 2009 jack o lantern……..

Im really sick of some of the crap I am hearing from people…….NO ONE ever friggin trained me……ya hear that Brandon B??  I let you call me once and you are full of crap to tell people you trained me or gave me a diet.  We discussed a diet and I realized you must have brown eyes as you are very full of ****.

I have had offers for training advice and have chosen to go my own path as no one knows me better than me.  Do not fall for the BS that all these online trainers can help you transform.  Some have good intent of course.  I have been asked to do online training aND i TRY TO HELP FOR FREE BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO CHARGE SOMEONE FOR 1/2 ASSED INFO…….meaning that I cant see you, Im not in the same room with you so I cant check your form while training, I do not know how you respond to certain food, etc etc.   The info is general at best from most of these people.  I train with someone and I can tell him to lean forward, to tighten at the top of a move, etc etc…….thats the way it works in person.

I dont know your resting metabolic rate, I dont know if you hold water in certain areas and that means modifying food right before a competition.  So the most I can do is diet advice and videos.  Im not being a ****head and making 50 bucks off every poor woman and man and sending them some crappy printout one size fits all diet plan.  I can tell you types of food to eat and assist in that manner.but Im not going to tell you that if you weight 115 and eat 1500 calories a day of this and that x3, plus 500 for cardio, plus e=mc squared……bing bang boom…….presto magico…..you got your dream physique. Im trying to keep my integrity here and its important for me to NOT rip people off or mislead them.   The power to change is in all of us….not some dude who says he has trained with "the best" and "knows everything". 

I never paid a dime for training coaches…..some people……put your money away and watch out for scammers

Love you guys!!

Ya, Im a figure bitch…..it’s true.  Now being pissed at my placing last week has an advantage.  I can cry and quit or I can become indignant and fight back.  I prefer to fight back.  Sooooooooooo…………like I said I am giving up doing shows in my home state and am taking my ass national, multistate, whatever and am going to do the Arnold Classic!!!  Yep, thats right, one of the biggest shows on the PLANET.  Am I scared, well Hell yes I am.  I printed the form out and they have masters figure, so thats what I am going to do.  Crossing into open is probably not an option as there are alot of competitors, but I figure my old ass is ok with that.  Young chickies tend to hold fat better and higher than we do and sometimes on stage, you know they place better because they are fresh faced and thats what they want….cant blame them.

So, I added in an extra leg day today, part of my "short bulk".  I figure I have to start eating perfectly about February as the competition is in March.  All I need is 4 weeks, so I have 4 months to try to grow here and there.  Thats only 4 months of growing, but I never am more than 10 lbs off my target weight and have gained about 5 or 6 lbs of muscle without getting fat like some people will tell you that you have to do to gain muscle.  Frankly, unless you are a serious bodybuilding, there doesnt seem to be much of a reason to get all sloppy in the off season.  I have heard women at shows talking about how they lost 30 lbs to compete…why, so you look good a few weeks out of the year?  Then if someone runs into you later, doesnt recognize you?  Its easier to maintain and you end up with less saggy skin that they people who do serious dieting.  I DONT need 2 and 1/2 hours of cardio a day for months because I do maintain.  I can do 5 shows a year, photoshoots anytime i need new photos and I like it this way…….. besides that, jeans are expensive and I don’t have to wear a whole seperate"bulking wardrobe".  

Anywhooooooooooo………..Im blabbing alot.  I just have alot in my head at the moment.  The Arnold is in March, I got the Met in NY in April, Jay Cutler in May, Masters Nationals in July………..thats four shows lined up so far.  I am setting my goals a little high, but it keeps me moving forwaRD AND thats what life is about, isnt it?  

Ok, last show of the season is done, so now what?  Well, Im thinking the Arnold amateur in March.  Its a big show of course, but nothing like jumping into a fire to get you motivated. Im already going for some photoshoots, so all I have to do is bring my figure stuff.  I have as good a chance as anyone and it scares the **** out of me, but if I chicken out now…….I dont want to ever say "what if" because that scares me more.

I didnt train last night.  I was having lunch at another dental office and while biting into my wrap (salami of all things, kind of gross) my jaw popped and my disk went crunch and I could not move my mouth.  It was like a damhn gunshot.  I cant chew anything and my back teeth wont touch right now.  Gotta love TMJ issues. I have had the problem since I was at leastt 17, but this is only the second time it has really been bad.  Most of the time its facial/muscle pain and it always makes noise, but I am used to that pain. So last nights dinner was swallowed whole……….rice and peas….gross.

Im going to train tonight though.  Not sure what yet, probably some shoulders.  I had something else to share, but forgot what it was.  Im on my second cup of coffee…….still short on brain function for some reason. 

This is all I have right now.  My daughter has a shaky hand and most are blurred…………no back shots came out at all.  I will be back later.  Im editing video right now

As soon as I saw one of the judges I know, I knew I was going to lose.  Every CT show I have ever done I lose.  I beat better women at the Jay Cutler, which was in Massachussetts, but I do a CT show and always place last pretty much.  Therefore I am no longer doing any figure shows in my home state. 

I will post the photos when they come out.  Oh, try to look for my photos from the CT state in June where I placed dead last…..funny thing….you CANT, seeing as I am the only competitor from that show who has NO photos.  Isnt that funny?

I was fine with my placing in open as I was probably 20 years older than the other women……thats kind of a given I think.  But Masters?  I was pretty pissed off.  I can admit it.  Like we are supposed to say "I am just glad I competed" blah, blah, thats CRAP.  If you are not there to win , whats the point? I don’t bust ass to lose.  No one is really happy being a loser and if you say you are…..I don’t believe you.

My suit was perfect, make-up, hair, muscle tone, not too lean, no saggy ass on me…..my tan was impeccable. Im insulted by my own state.  The thing is, just as in the state competition…..total strangers come up to you afterwards and apologize for not understanding why you didnt win.  So now I realize no matter what I do, my own state doesnt want me no matter how hard I try or how "fit" I look. 

Next year I am going to do NY and Mass and possibly NJ shows.  Also Masters Nationals of course.

Thanks for your support, it means alot to me. 

So what am I doing today?  Damed if I know as its still early.  I tranied all week, light stuff, no cardio.  I trained chest for the first time in weeks and got pretty sore.  Like I said, upper chest, no flat bench as it is no longer needed and is uncomfortable.  Last night I did a little supersetting on my back.  I soooooo love to do back!!!   Bent over rows on smith, delt flies, press down on cables with short bar, one arm lats on cables, laT pulldows in the front, then in the back.  I went there to do full body cardio, but it didnt happen.  I like weight training too much I guess.  The rest kind of bores me.

Today I tan at 1230 and havent done anything to my nails.  Ladies, show nails are a pain in the ass to say the least.  I have naturally long nails.  I have two short ones, my mutilated finger is finally growing out and I broke the other one last week.  Now one of my "ef you" fingernails is broken below the quick because I was cleaning and jammed it backwards.  Nothing much more horrifying than breaking a nail below the quick.  So if I go to my usual people they ae going to try to get me to use acylic coatings, which in fact ruin your nails and you have to fill them every couple weeks.  Thats way too much maintenance for me personally.  I got better things to do than sit in a nail salon.  Anyway, thats my insignifigant nail story.  Some women just glue some on and go, its up to you.

I also have my show bag to pack.  Im always missing something, so I have to make sure its all set.  Its raining and super cold here, so tanning is going to totally suck of course.  We got snow in October!!!  WTF is mother nature up to? Its going to be a pain parking the car tomorrow and trying to avoid puddles with flip flops on. Im wearing socks with mine…..don’t care if I look like some guys dad in 1978.

So thats all thats going on.  I took the day off work, Steve is coming down in a few hours and I am going to help him with his prep too.  Men, they don’t know squat about tanning.  It should be interesting to do a show with a signifigant other.  His family and mine are coming as well.  We will see if his and my pre stage stress starts any wars.  I’ll just leave a big white spot on his back for revenge!!! 

Talk to you later.

Not doing anything special, I may drink alot of water today though.  A flush is nice once in awhile.  Im eating the bison and wild run , veggies and going to do some protein shakes as well.  Now I am not dehydrating myself but I found the only problem with this is the tanner.  It soaks in better if skin is a little dry.  Im not talking patchy flake dry….but slightly dehydrated.  You have to steer clear of lotions and bodywashes with any kind of lotions.  Thats the gross part, Im a lotion addict!!!! 

I also got to tell you about Photolagen -AGF ladies.  I got it here and its a serum for the face and I have to tell you I am impressed with it.  No one wants greasy lotion on their face.  Women who workout tend to breakout easily.  Why?  Not certain, maybe its the sweating, but I dont sweat much.so I dont know.  The stuff is good, though a little expensive, but not campared to the other 20 face creams I buy a year and hate. I actually went to the gym in Vegas and here with no foundation on.  I have to tell you I havent left the house without foundation on for about 20 years and it feels great!!  It minimizes blotchiness and combined with my Aveeno sensitive skin face foam…..awesome. After photoshoots, supertans and everything I need a skin rest.  Now I have to tan this friday and I am not looking forward to it.   It makes your body look better, but not so much the face.  oh welll, I will suck it up.

I took the night off from the gym but tonight will be full body supersets for a burn. Nothing too serious. I will answewr your emails when I get more time.  Please dont think I am ignoring you.

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Today was a decent workout.  I did legs, but didnt want to do them to hard 1 week out from a competition.  thats just dumb.  I just did some mass reps on

seated curls 60lb, extensions 50 lbs slow and leaning back, linear hack press 300, leg press about 300 and laying leg curls at 60.  I did some light calves to break up the boredom.  Its boring doing light weight.

I ordered some new clear heels because I cant find the pair I wanted to wear saturday.  I paid for 2-3 day shipping and tha was last Sunday, figures they arent here!!  Im going to be pissed if they are not here on time and I have to wear my old toe crushers.  Nothing worse than a pissed off overtanned chick with her suit taped to her ass….and a crushed baby toe.  I may kill someone like in the movie Carrie.

Other than that I have been watching horror movies and cleaning the house.  I hate dirty floors and I feel the need to steam clean my carpets every 2 weeks.  Carpets are gross to me and if I get dirty feet while walking barefoot……..well I hate that. Then there is 10 loads of laundry, toilet cleaning, appliance cleaning and grocery shopping to do.  Oh and stuff the woodstove because its getting cold here.  Crap, maybe I do need a husband.  I do way too much stuff I think.

Talk to you later.  I have to go pick up my mom at the grocery store. Im starving.

One week until showtime!!!  During the week I eat pretty clean, but today……….well, lets just say a fish sandwich and a frozen margarita at Margaritaville fell into my mouth.  I didnt eat all of the bun, but yes I enjoyed the food very much.

I did chest today.  I do only upper chest and anterior delts (front of shoulders) for the most part.  I still have pec muscles despite the saline bags under them.  I can still maintain my upper chest pretty well though with cables and pec fly machine (sitting very low).  I can do some dips on the machine but if I try to do unassisted like I used to my chest flattens out and my pectoralis minor gets stretched and its pretty uncomfortable.  So I dont do it.  Not like I want to hear a "POP" anytime soon. 

Oh also did some biceps.  I have been doing close grip on the ez bar to hit the long head of my bicep.  Its toward the outside and pops up nicely when you flex creating a ‘peak’ that men try so hard to get…..I got it.  Sometimes they refer to it as a split bicep.  The bicep has 2 heads, long and short.  You can also hit it f you do dumbbell curls and tip the weight out at the top of the move to get that last little tweak in it.  Also did curls with the rope on cables, thats another close grip bicep exercise.  I just do 60 lbs until I exhaust my arms.

Calves were also on the menu.  I wont do them anytime after Tuesday though as it may cause them to stay tight and in 5 inch heels tight calves are a no no.  I will start posing to alleviate the shaking on stage this weekend.  The more you pose, the less you cramp up.  Its harder than it looks.  Sewriously my biggest stage problem is my smile.  I have TMJ (or TMD) and my face cramps when I smile alot like on stage.  Trying to hold it with twitching cheeks usually makes me look like an uber dork in my pictures.  Oh and I got the whole lazy eye thing.  Seems like photographers always get that shot……."she looks ok, but man………..that lazy eye is just creeeeeeeeeepy".  heheeeeee

Ok gotta go, doing my roots and my 25 minutes is up