THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

Im not sure what I got, have to wait til the list comes out. It was a grueling 14 hour day, but I have to tell you I was pretty comfortable and hardly nervous at all.  I did a fantastic photshoot and video for herbiceps.com.   The photographer told me I was probably his feature girl of the weekend…yee hah!!  thanks Jeff!! The photos that I saw came out awesome.  We did a parking garage rooftop and stairwell with a nice backdrop of the city from the rooftop.

The show was run very smoothly, 400 competitors and still organized!!!  This is my 1st year here, so I was kind of an outsider.  Sometimes my shyness takes over, but I did meet some gorgeous ladies.  As far as what the judges wanted……..that still remains as a hair across my ass.  If its because I have abs or am too cut, thats probably not going to change because thats what gets me modeling work….so it is what it is. I could have come here at 130 lbs and done ok as well.  After all I ate last night…….I may just weigh that NOW.  But the binge is over, back to clean eating when I get home of course.  Eating salt gave me a huge eye this morning.

I will write more later, gotta catch a plane!!

I signed in this morning.  I am #272…….thaasssaaaaa BIG #.  I do believe I am class C….I was 5′3" 1/2 at one time, but last show they said 5′3". Im shrinking like someones grandma with osteoporosis dammit!!

I feel good, not really water depleted. Just drinking coffee like an AA member. Im hungry, but don’t want to carb up too much cus with my lower ab thickness I could end up loking 3 months pregnant on stage.  Not to be gross, yet gotta be honest, took some diuretics and some overnight laxatives.  Yes, fellas laxatives.  I know few women considered "regular" and Im not one of them. Competitors honesty! I will tell it like it is because I know other women want to know the truth of course.  Im taking the diuretics because this morning I woke with one puffy eye and know salt is in me.  Pre judging is in the morning at I don’t want to have monster eye.  With the schedule I don’t know if we will hit the stage before noon and the competitors meeting is at 730am.  Crap, thats good and bad.  More time to prepare, yet NOT knowing and having stage makeup totally blows.  I don’t want to look plastic by the time I get out there. I forgot my curling iron too, so straight hair is it for me.  Probably better because curls tend to fall flat anyway. 

Im doing a shoot with herbiceps.com at 5pm.  Its raining here, so I am not sure whats going on.  Obviously an indoor shoot, huh? 

I did see alot of "jacked" chicks at sign in.  I’m a little intimidated, so I came back to my room and put on my gorgeous suit and felt better.  Im pretty tight despite the empty ass I am carrying behind me.  Lean, but not BB lean, ya know? All I can do is smile and hope for the best!!!

I will keep you posted! 

Chicken and brown rice I mean.  I will be eating just this for a few more days. I havent decided if I am using a diuretic or just drinking my coffee. i HAVE CARB LOADED WITH WHITE POTATOES… shoot caps lock….sorry, um with dry oatmeal and splenda, brown rice, cheese tortellinis……..tried a bunch of stuff.  Im doing the rice because I am traveling and it comes in pre package containers that don’t need a fridge.  Im taking chicken in a soft sided cooler as well. It is what it is.

I did a little chest workout along with tris today.  I have been slacking on tris as they were always part of my chest routine.  I did do a little flat bench, pec flies and db press and machine presses, some tri press downs and extensions, yada yada. No carbs yesterday, but kept a decent pace I think.  No cardio as well.  Im a little tired.  The guy at 7/11 knowsd I have a coffee addiction.  I think he’s going to try an intervention on me one of these days.

I want to take a second to thank everyone w ho believes  in this sport, that and bodybuilding too……….even bikini and fitness of course.  Also, my gym put up a sign saying its the home of the Jay Cutler Classic Masters figure champ Fern Assard!!!

To the women with children….you can get abs after kids!!  Ok, they made me a little funkier than they used to be, but a flat tummy is around the corner for you!!

And to the men who make me feel good by thinking a 41 year old woman is still sexy…..you rock!

Tomorrow I get on the plane…..woo hooo!!!!!!!!!

Today my sacrifice to this sport we call figure was a toenail.  yes, ladies and gentlemen……a middle toenail. Was it from cardio of which I did religiously for a couple weeks?  I have no idea, all I know is I thought I was chipping off my month old french pedicure…….nope. 

I recently read an article ( or blog) that my friend printed for me.  It was from a pro figure athlete.  Ya..ATHLETE. Just because we don’t run around on a field or hit a ball with a stick doesn’t mean we are not athletes.  And yes, there is the fact we get paid in supplements, not cash….no million dollar contract for us ladies.  I have worked out with injuries, a smashed finger, without use of a wrist, a strained tendon in my knee, bronchitis…..etc.  I have eaten the same food like boiled salt free chicken and brown rice, I have dehydrated myself, lived through major muscle cramps, yet I continue on.  I have kids to feed and to look at mac and cheese when my plate is lettuce and a couple chunks of chicken.  Ya, I sacrifice. I don’t go to the doctor when Im hurt because I have no insurance,  I work full time and still have 3 kids at home to care for.  I don’t have the rich hubby and the good fortune to be a stay at home mom.  I talk about it here, but I’m not bitching or complaining……it is what it is.  I have men telling me to my face, "ya, well I’m 30 now…..I used to be in shape, getting too old……blah blah blah".  Well top my **** buddy……don’t tell me how you CAN’T.  

I do get tired of people saying ‘oh, you have another show?’ my friends, my family, co workers…….Another show???  Its freakin nationals and we get NO respect in the outside world. If I was a damn UFC card girl I’d get more respect.  All you have to do for that is be 18 with fake boobs and eat salads all day……..

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Yes, we figure ladies should get respect!  We wear heels and stand there with calves cramping in complete agny sometimes.  We glue our suits to our asses, rip off our skin with double sided tape that makes us bleed.  We tan, we stink, we have to look pretty with perfect hair and make up at ten am and do it all over again at 5 or 6 or 7pm….and still smile when our cheeks are spasming and our backs are spasming.  And why do we do it?  For the plastic trophy? NO………..because we are athletes..we do it for the love of the sport.  the I can attitude..thats why.  Maybe a little of the "look at me now bitches" attitudes we have if we used to get picked on in school, or treated badly by an ex.  Who knows?  Maybe we secretly wanted to be the prom queen even if we wore jeans and flannel shirts that belonged to our father (ok, that was me).

For me this is not a popularity contest.  I spend most of my time alone or with my children. But I do love this sport even though I have lost to a stick in one show and a chick who looks like a guy in the next……its a roller coaster and as an athlete………Im enjoying the ups and downs.

Take care fellow athletes!!

Ok, never traveled for days for a show, just overnight in Boston, didnt fly or anything.  Im not sure this hotel has a mini fridge or even a microwave.  I can eat rice cold, eat meat cold, but I have to keep it cold. Dropping weight via food poisoning is not a good idea! I also have coffee singles, coffee mate, ricecake minis and raisinettes . 

I gained back a couple lbs, but still look as lean as I did 3 lbs ago…weird. But I think I look super healthy and that matters to me.  Too depleted with a skeleton face and baggy skin, not to mention dehydrated skin..ewww.  Even if I don’t win (which I want to with all my heart and soul of course!!!) I would like to represent the "older" ladies with great skin, a **** eating grin and a tight ass!!! 

I did some legs today, no cardio though.  I kind of gave it up a bit.  I will do a little this week, but not too much.  I have the whole week off from work to get my stuff together.  Today was all my leg exercises, but I only did about 50 lbs on leg extensions, but Im liking the way they look.  NOT striated at all, just shapely I guess you could say.  Not alot of women have trouble building legs though.  Im a leg envy kind of woman.  I saw a woman today with nice legs and should have said so, but I didnt want to appear to be a weirdo.  Like she will go over to her man and tell him the blonde was hitting on her……….

Today is beef and protein shakes and 1/2 cup of oatmeal….thats it, tons of water to flush the system, then switch to chicken and rice on weds I think. Im carbing up with rice because its easy and doesnt need to stay cold. And NO, not giving up drinking like I said……..got my coffee all packed.  Its a diuretic anyway.  I dont need a caffeine headache.  I had one once in Florida…a real skull crusher. 

Ok, going to go watch some Tv and relax. 

Not sure if I am training today, my back is a little tight.  You know that feeling right before a spasm and you become immobile for 2 days………I have that.  Upper middle back where my curve is most pronounced is the worst. Happens a couple times a year.  I do have to tan though, I have been procrastinating that because its soooooo bad for your skin I try to put it off.  I am doing the traditional paint on of course, but a decent base tan is important as well. 

Last night I did the odds and ends of the body.  A little forearms and little shoulders, calves and abs.  Training light sucks but you do get sore more quickly than heavy.  Its weird.

I met a new woman at the gym.  She is the girlfriend of an ex’s best friend.  Holy ****, love her.  She’s a surgeon actually and she drops F bombs like crazy, smart with a mouth on her……who doesnt love that kind of chick?  The women I work with are always bitching about their men and their food, its kind of boring.  Guess thats why I come here so much!!!  Yes, we complain a bit, but we keep moving forward.  Maybe its because I have been through so much crap in my life that their stuff seems pretty small. I know lots of their issues are a big deal for them, but Im thinking "Oh boy, you had to take your trash out by yourself cus your husband wasn’t home?"  How tragic……….Now don’t feel sorry for me because of anything I have lived through, but damn people….rise above that trivial ****.  Get in shape, get positive and  kick some ass or something.

My new friend is  kind of a womans advocate.  I’d love to get together with her and do some sort of self esteem group , you know, motivational speaking.  Its very important for people to like themselves so they can say to others "there is nothing wrong with me, Im a good person and you CANNOT treat me like ****" and walk away from negative people.  I did it and its pretty enlightning and does not make us cocky *******s at all. Self esteem is a buffer against negative stuff.

Anywhoooo……….I will stop at the point of rambling.   Im feeling good today!!

I took the night off…I needed it.  I gained back a lb or so and feel . Now to decide if I need to deplete water a little bit next week will be the real kicker.  I start to water load this weekend so thats when I will decide.  When I load I get leaner, weird but true.

I have to say I’m most nervous about forgetting something for Pittsburgh. There are so many things to remember and if you miss something important, you are screwed.  I’m honestly freaked about losing luggage.  Im taking my suit and a pair of shoes on the plane and even bought one of those mongo purses just for that purpose.  I don’t think the men understand this stuff.  they are pro tan, banana hammock and oil…..we women have

THE suit, 2 pairs of shoes, tanner, makeup in many different shades, hair products and accesories, pump up bands, scissors, sewing kit, flash tape, bikini bite, gloves, baby wipes, hand towels, dream tan for before stage, jewelry, food, fake lashes and nails and a few other things just for fun………This all comes in my rolling suitcase that I never empty out and have about 15 tags with numbers from all my shows. My daughter is coming with me, so it should be fun.  She knows me when I get "pre show bitchy" and freak all the way up until I am registered and all set.  I pre registered but you still have to get to the athletes meeting.  I still worry about getting a taxi to the venue or if it really is a 1/4 mile away..how fast she and I can get there.  I say this because the hotel clerk in boston said the same thing……..yet my friend and I started walking and got lost asnd it turns out it was several miles away!!! I need stuff nailed down I guess. Oh dont even get me started on how far the taxi ride is from the airport……19 freakin miles. Thats going to be major bucks for sure. Now you know why we need sponsors.  Competing far away is much more expensive than local.  BUT just know I have competed in a homemade/self made suit with cheap shoes, etc and WON………so dont lose faith there.  Nationals is the worst because it involves a plane ride, a higher level suit which of course is costly and a hotel stay. 

i BETTER RUN, MY BATTERY IS DYING!!!!  Talk to you tomorrow!

Despite the scoop of superpump I only had a pump for about 5 minutes, then my insufficiently carbed up little body had nothing to give me. I only did one scoop because I didnt train until seven and didnt know if I could burn it all off before I went to bed.  I should have done the two scoops. My only starch carbs today were a bowl of brown rice, a whole grain roll (turkey sandwich) and another serving of rice as I write this. Im still working the ground turkey with the rice and this weeks veggie is yellow squash (until I run out). The sandwich is a treat for me in between taking my son to the dentist and running back to work, its all I could eat while I did 80 on the highway.  Brown rice tends to miss the mouth while driving, trust me I’ve tried it.

Tonight I went back to chest training, not my old chest training, but upper chest and I suprised myself a little because I could do it.  I did some reclining presses on the smith as well as pec flies but I was seated really low.  A far cry from my 135 max, but what the heck, better than nothing.  Also did laying tri extensions, tri presses with the ropes on cables, tri press machine (also hits pec minor muscles) single arm bicep curls on cables ( before I decided I wanted to do chest) NOT a heck of aLOT of stuff, but like I said, just getting back into it….didnt want to hurt myself.  Im crazy but not stooopid.

I didnt do cardio today because after doing calves sunday my ankle was tweaking.  It was fine on monday, maybe a little sore, but today it was screaming and I have a bruise at the front of my foot/ankle area.  Its an old issue with me though.  I have to baby it now because I will be in 5 inch heels in just a couple weeks. I recently read that its about 75 lbs of pressure for every inch of heel you are wearing….so with 5 inch heels you have to stand on stage with 375 lbs of pressure on the balls of your feet!!!  Let me tell ya…….it freakin hurts!!

Well, more carbing tomorrow, but not too much.  Im at 120lbs now and want it to stay that way.  Just lean enough to NOT have to water deplete….but will if I have to….we’ll see. CRAPSHOOT..

Talk to you later,

F

ps. Got a new little dog for my birthday.  A Yorkshire terrier who I named Sophie.  She has a pink collar and leash and is so teeny and cute.  I am sooooooo in love! People around here started calling me Paris Hilton with muscles because of her, but Im ok with that!!! 

No pump in the gym whatsoever.  I even did shoulders and still nothing and I tortured my legs yesterday, so they were very sore.  I think 119 is about as low as I want to go though. My arms have no fat and neither does my ab area…….maybe around the belly button a little, but lower abs…….nada. 

I did lots of things but very low weights.

Lateral raises standing and seated, db rows, smith rows standing and bent over, smith presses, lat machine, press downs in front on the cables, lat pulldowns, arnold presses, bent over single arm rows on cables, incline situps, delt flies, db shrugs, chin ups, ….um…….that may be it.

I think tomorrow Im going to do abs and some general core work.   Maybe some forearms and calves as well.

I really do miss doing chest in my workouts.  I kind of do pec flies but high up for upper chest and some incline presses, but other than that, chest is not something that works for me anymore. I did what I had to do for this industry and losing my bench press is not something I am happy about. I have indeed handicapped myself.  I do have to say I made alot of great friends the way I was before and they accepted me and for that I am greatful!  Years of being made cry daily for being teased for looking like an ugly boy cannot be changed though.  We all have something inside I suppose that makes us feel "not good enough".  Anyway, my insecurities always come out before a show!!!  I am DYING to be titled "#1 Masters Figure Champ!"  So despite my insecurities, I will keep pressing on…………thas how we roll here…………

Being as I never like to go into anything 1/2 assed, I look at other shows to see what type of look is placing the best, then modify the way i LOOK. I won the Cutler Masters at 124, but now I am 119….so why the change?  I think its mostly for the size person I am, competing against women my own height, they often appear tiny next to me as I am not blessed with a tiny waist and carry more muscle weight.  Put me next to a woman 5′3" at 99 and me at 124……I look HUGE.  Im not huge, trust me.  My size three pants are loose in the waist and my ass is dissapearing like never before. Its a bummer, but a necessary evil.

I trained legs this morning.  I even went in early as yes, its my birthday.  I have no plans, my daughter gave me a card and flowers and I had a nap…….its all good.  I did go to a picnic last night and did the whole bonfire fireworks thing though.  I ate good, brought my own turkey burgers, had a regular burger, some fruit and then some raw carrots with a smidge of dip, then some blue corn chips.  It was difficult to watch others enjoying tons of food though.  I did want some pasta salad, but knew I’d be angry with myself tomorrow if I had eaten it.  I have to be on stage in 2 weeks, no messing around!

As for legs, light weight is a must right now because of the leanness.   In this I find no glory in my weight amounts!  I feel like a sissy!  A girl!!!  A wuss!!

I did

smith squats 85 &105 , leg press 235, cable kickbacks standing 40 per leg without the bench it kills the lower back to go heavier, leg extensions at just 50, but varied foot positions.

I did seated curls 60 or 65 lbs to get that burn in my legs and butt.  Adductor/abductor machine, gloute isolator, linear hack press 270 plus the sled weight, plie squats and dumbbell deadlifts.

I also did calf slide and seated calf raises.

Thats about it, sounds like alot, but it was a pretty easy day for me.  I did have nergy, just not strength and even did an easy 15 chin ups.   Oh and some shoulder presses on smith, but in front rather than in back and then some shoulder raises.  I forgot about those.  NO cardio on legs day, even pre show.  I dont break that rule as its something I feel could hurt me a bit after a legs workout.  Im back to cardio tomorrow though.  20 minutes max….

Hope everyone had a great holiday!!!!