THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

I got my suit and damn…..its beautiful.  Yep, I lift til I want to cry, smash fingers, rip off nail, get bruised and sore………then this fuscia/cranberry suit smothered in rhinestones comes in and brings tears to my eyes more than a squat rack loaded with plates. Not a spot on it not covered with a rhinestone…so awesome. 

I did cardio tonight as well as last night.  Id like to cut in my hams just a little and get my hip flexors to show more.  My upper body is jacked, Im not worried about that part.  Plus when I think I need more butt, I take a picture and from the back I notice I got kind of a big ass for figure.  Lots of competitors lose their butts……I have ass-loss phobia.

I did 20 of cardio last night and tonight I did 40.  10 on step mill, 20 on the bike and 10 on the treadmill.  I brough a novel to fight boredom and it works.  The recumbant bike is best for reading though as you are not moving up and down and trying to read at the same time.  After that I went to the weight room and did some arm pumping stuff, incline situps and leg extensions, then tanned. The gym was like a ghost town. 

Oh, I was featured in a couple local papers here….weird to get recognized when I go in places.  Its a very nice story about me.  I just wish they had posted a “body-shot”.  You talk about being fit…….yet in the photos I am from the ribs upwards……whatev.  My new neighbors stopped to say hello at the mailbox today.  They saw me in the paper, so I guess you can tell its me.  Maybe its the hair?

You know whats funny?  All these years I tried to be someone else……..someone people would like. I caved to how I was supposed to be, how they wanted me to be and I was not happy.  Now I am who I want to be and I think people like me more because even if I look different than most women, I am happier and more open and friendly this way.  I ran into the gym tonight and the girl at the counter said “wow, you are happy” and I said , “yes, yes I am!”. 

Happy Friday and be happy 

Im into the Bok Choy this week.  Its chinese cabbage and has calcium in it. I dont add salt, just saute with some spray pam like stuff.  It reduces down and is damnnnnnnn good.  For some flavor I am mixing it with my ground turkey.  Im also on a boiled egg kick this week. I do about 4-6 a day, depending on my mood. AND yes, I eat the yolk.  I would add different foods in, but frankly I have been too busy lately, so I just cooked a bunch of both foods.  I will eat it until its gone, by then I will be tired of it.

Sat night after the band interview we went to Chili’s.  Let me just say they probably have the deadliest menu on the planet. The lesser of the evils was Tilapia with broccoli and rice.  I think they were trying to disguise it as brown rice, but it wasnt at all. Trust me, I have eaten tons of it………think it was white rice with something in it to make it appear brown.,  They have so much crap in that place, its terrible. I suppose I am lucky that I never liked any food “drowned” in anything…sauces, brown goop, gravy……..makes me cringe.  I used gto love alfredo though, cannot lie.  Part of the process of going clean involves getting used to much less sodium and better food textures.  STICK WITH IT!  The salty will seem saltier, the mush will seem mushier and the gravy covered stuff will make you want to gag…………..not to mention the grease…….the smell.  For the ladies with kids, it’ll be like your first few months of pregnancy where everything made you want to hurl.  For me, the double cheeseburgers are something I HAVE to have after a couple cocktails……dont ask me why.  I make an exception there. 

I trained back heavy last night.  My bent over smith rows were 105 lbs for a solid 8 reps, press downs in front on cables 110.  I also did bi’s, but I threw in preaches and those are sometimes hard on the inner elbow tendons, so I only did 40 lbs.  I did some c ardio yesterday though and some today on my lunch hour.  Ok FINE, I only made it 10 minutes today so I raqn into the back aqnd did some incline situps and some assisted pull ups to finish.  Its soooooooo boring and I feel like its torture to do cardio.  I wish I liked it more.  I really do, but I feel like I could be doing something else the whole time I am doing it. 

Im 2 and 1/2 weeks our from the state championships.  I am not terribly confidant this year.  I will post a photo above of the one who beat me last year and show you why.  Hopefully with bikini added this year, my muscle will be appreciated?  Crap, it is what it is. 

I didnt get my new suit yet….bummer.  Im grawing on my nails just waiting.  I hope its perfect.  I like my other one still, so I may just go back and forth. The right suit “completes” your look I think.  One that is cut wrong can make your butt look BAD, or if its not cut high enough, your waist looks thicker….legs shorter etc. 

ok, no training tonight.  I have to watch “make me a supermodel” because I am totally addicted.

Later!    

This is very difficult and often comes up during the summer season for many people. It does not have to be an issue if you go for certain foods to fill you up.  I cant help the vegetarians much as I head straight for the meat.  If I know the people well, I may bring my own turkey burgers though.  Meat is pretty safe, you can load up on it (ok I HATE barbeque sauces anyway).  If it’s burgers, I get a couple without a bun.  I will eat them without condiments, throw a couple tomatos on them………….whatev. As for side dishes, Im a potato salad freak, so sometimes I have a little.  Other than that, if there are beans…….I say screw the fat and eat the beans just for the protein. Deviled eggs….yee hah, stuff your face, even with mayo…….more protein.  If I am still hungry, I eat more plain meat to avoid temptations.  Besides that, I try to save picnic day for a cheat day. Im technically not going nuts on lots of carbs even on cheat day. 

Yesterday I did legs and some cardio.  I just want to drop 2-3 lbs to make sure my new suit fits.  I only did 10 on the elyptical and 15 on a treadmill.  I did not go really heavy on legs because of my knee.  I wanted to, but I felt it was better just to not push it too much.  Sometimes I am pretty sensible.

I posted a couple new videos.  This one is lat press downs in front.  I love this for lats.

I went to the gym to do a little abs and some posing.  The aerobics room was in use so I had to hang out for a bit and wait. I always practice posing and it helps with the walking in heels issue.  With 5 inch heels my achillies tendon gets sore on my leg or I get calf cramps.  Plus I do not want to walk like I have a stick in my butt. I dont have a long stride, so I tend to walk like Peg Bundy from married with children……

After practice I went out with my daughter to see her boyfriend play.  He’s in the 2 guy acoustic band and they play at local pubs.  Im at the bar and this woman starts talking to me, a couple minutes into the conversation I realize she is plastered as she asks me the same questions over and over.  She asked the doorman to take our picture….anywhooooooo………about 10 mins later she starts coughing and retching like she is going to hurl her wine right there at the bar.  We all back up like a wave…….shes gonna blow!!!  The thing is, you cant help anyone who is going to hurl.  I felt bad, she didnt hurl……but I had to get away as I think she was kind of hitting on me because she started telling me I was pretty and touching my hair.  It was my first time ever in this place and I almost got puked on and molested……hehe

On a side note, I am getting another suit.  I contacted Gina Aliotti about her red/fuscia 2 piece from the 2009 Arnold and she is going to sell it to me!  Ok, it wont look the same on me..but here it is in the photo.  very pretty, lots of bling.  I know Im poor, but I have a couple sponsors and was able to strike a DEAL. 

I went and did some abs tonight and decided to try a little upper chest. I did a little bit of bench and actually got the nads to go up to 65.  Ok, not even close to my 190 maX but I have to make adjustments cus of the whole implant thing. Ya, Im talking about it….its a real issue in the gym.  NOT all the time, but when it comes to dips and pull ups and doing chest its a freakin issue.  Lots of women got em and we do need to still do some chest to keep the muscles tight, correct?  I have seem some saggy ones and I dont want that to happen to me…or anyone else.  I havent figured out how much is going to be too much….so bear with me.

My ab workout was strong and I forgot my superpump so it was all me. Im always suprised how I feel tired and then get a second wind.  Im happy to be there, guess that helps.

Tomorrow I am doing legs again.  I modified the manta-ray smith attachement I got here on bb.com .  I added padding to see if it helps with my boney collarbones.  I hope so.  It was alot better with it than without the manta ray, hope this just ups it a notch.  My show is in 3 and 1/2 weeks.  It used to be 2 shows, CT state residents and another show combined, but now its just state.  NO masters.  Im like "oh shit".  Sometimes competiting with the youger women sucks. I may be in good shape, but Im certainly NOT 25.  A younger women leans out differently, tends to be able to keep what fat she has higher  and can dehydrate without looking hollow in the face.  A male judge may think he is "judging" but he may in fact be checking out the 25 year old……………….who knows.

Anywhooooooo……….I have an issue with a friend I want to run by you real quick.  She met a guy online..match.com.  He is certainly not a "real guy".  I see it, most of my office sees it, yet she does not.  Now I come to find this prince charming has 2 first names…………david john or something like that.  ANY of us who get spam emails knows that 2 first names is clearly a foreigner, usually nigerian spammer, con artist.  Go ahead, check your spam files nowwwwwwww…………

Supposedly he is an artist, has a house with a private beach in Brazil, has a home in maryland, living in the UK right now and when he called with a bad connection……….has an irish accent.  Also, he says he texts badly like he has trouble with american words. Ok, if he has an irish accent……….the speak english and probably write it better than we would understand it spoken, even with a heavy accent.  Get it?  NOW he is supposed to come visit next month.  Here is what will probably happen……his AMERICAN bank account with be "frozen" and he will need money while he is stuck in the airport on his way to see her and could she wire him some asap? No, this did not happen to me before.  I "met" one guy, figured his ass out, messed with him until he confessed he was from Nigeria………..Im blonde but I AINT THAT blonde.  

Ok, so help me out.  How am I going to tell her?  She is totally in love……this sucks!!!

Im sore a little bit, kinda rubbery actually.  Whats different about today? I ask myself…….

I went heavier, I pushed harder, form more precise? Maybe more than 1/2 of training is attitude.  To be honest, not too much changes for me before a show.  I dont "hard diet" like others, so how do I shed the weight? Maybe it is mental like people who cure themselves of cancer, like people who survive against immeasurable odds?  I do not set myself up for failure.  I think many people do because in their minds they are making excuses and in mine……..my eye is on the future.  There is no room for failure and I never blame anyone else if I do fail and I just push harder. 

I get letters from women who have been told they are "not good enough".  I tell you those words ring in many peoples ears and when things get hard, they stop pushing because those words are always there.  Its bullshit. Today I was lonely in the gym.  Legs day makes me emotional sometimes.  I felt ill, but kept going.kept pushing.  Despite being online, some days I am terribly lonely. Im all work and training, but its my choice and in the end I am not an unhappy person. Jeez I am rambling today!  Maybe its because there were about 4 people in the gym……..Im ok now though.

I will be back later, got a phone call…………   

I did legs last night.  Tried out the new Manta Ray attachment for squats and it did help BUT I have some boney shoulder blades and Ithink I am going to get some adhesive backed foam and line it.  I was able to squat deeper and ddnt even have to hold the bar.  Granted, it was only 85 lbs, but Im working on it and it was a light leg day.  Did the usual leg extensions and stuff.

So today I was going to go but ended up with only one kid at home, so I went out for Chinese.  Nothing too terrible, chinese veggies and shrimp.  Yeah, drwoned in some high sodium goop……….but whatever.  i topped it off with a smirnoff ice and a hersheys with almonds candy bar.  Not exactly a contest diet, but I got it out of my system.  I am good for at least a month now. Im enjoying my fat belly right now, I look preggers.,

I must say I am so bored when I dont go to the gym.  I dont know what to do with myself. Im supposed to go out with the girls tomorrow night, so rest is probably best.   After that I am not going to go out too much ntil after my next competition.,  I drag ass after a late night, but I promised them and nothing short of the swine flu is going to let them leave me alone if I dont go.  I think I have to work interviewing a band or two next weekend though.  At least thats work and not partying.

Well, Im going to go roll onto the sofa and watch Transporter 3.  Jason Statham is a super hottie……..he is my date tonight. 

I log on and get Yahoo as my home page, so its often my source for news. Today was The Biggest Loser news. I watched a few times, but the female trainers often bother the piss out of me.  Frankly, I think they are bitchy and even if they are trying to change or motivate people………they push too much.  Often times the biggest successes seem to be AFTER the show is over.  Why do they think making people feel like shit is motivating?  Like any addiction, people have to want to change of course and yelling at them and making them hate exercise doent help.  Damn, I saw them running on the beach, turning purple and doing shit I wouldnt ever want to do on a beach.  Im not saying they may not need a little tough love, but they seem lucky no one has dropped dead yet. I also hear alot from a co worker that they never really seem to get to the root of the persons reason to overeat in the first place. I know, like drugs, it makes people feel good…….the taste of food temporarily makes people happy, so if their lives are unhappy, shouldnt there be more emphasis on their emotion state?  Otherwise some will slip back down that rabbit-hole?  Just a thought……………

Im not training tonight.  I needed a rest and my little man woke up and was yakking this morning.  He is better now though.  Sometimes I get bored at home though and for a moment, want to drag in my treadmill, but then it passes……..Maybe if I could do something productive while do cardio, it wouldnt be so bad. I know its good for my heart, but I love weight training and spending 20 minutes doing "nothing" kills me.  There never seem to be enough hours in the day for me.  I only have 2 kids left at home and they dont need me as much.  Not that your kids will never need you , but they are 8 and 14…….so they find other things to do.

Guess I will go watch TV for awhile, pay some bills, and have a glass of sweet white wine and give myself a facial or something.

Later,

F 

Just a little workout tonight.  I had a photographer from the paper come in to the gym to see me and it was kind of embarrasing. Everyone was looking at him talking pics of me.  I swear the gym was all up in "my grill".  Holy crapola…..close ups.  Wanna see my pores??? It was just weird.  I think I may have made gym faces in some of them. Whateva…..

So I just got to do some pump up kind of stuff.  Tri pressdowns, a little arm work……..blah blah.

So here is a "gym situation". I walk in and there are two very tall women there. I know one of them, not as a friend or anything, but ya, I know her.  Anywhooooo….2 chicks together and me alone with my guys, I know they are talking about me.  So my buddy comes over and says one of them commented on how "small" I am to her friend.  Whats up with women?  So, Im 5′3" and they were like 5′10"….big whup. My point is…..why do chicks always have to say crap? Anywhooooooo……..thats about it for my day. I have to go watch Housewives of Ny reunion show.  Another set of chicks who call themselves "friends" yet rip into each other to others.  Sorry, its like watching a train wreck.  Funny, these wealthy women sometimes brag and say out loud "people want to be us"……….but NOPE……..I’d rather be broke and have real friends…..that is priceless.  

Sunday was legs and I did about an hour and 1/2.  Killed them every way possible.  Sorry to say not as sore as I thought I would be.

Last night was abs.  I lightened up on them a bit. They are still pretty thick but Im trying to make my waist look smaller and big obliques dont help.   We did.

Hanging leg raises

seated bench crunches/leg raises

incline situps

kneeling cable crunches are back up to 130 though.

Threw in some calves donkey, seated and slide.  Im STILL doing calves about 3 times a week.

Im about 5 weeks out from my next figure show, so I ate pretty good yesterday.  Ok wait………..not true.  I had a hotdog at dinner, no bun.  After the gym I cooked up some ground turkey and mixed in a scoop of rice and beans from dinner……….tasty…yessireeeee

Tonight Im not sure how much training I will get in.  I have a photographer from the newspaper coming in to take my pics. Im nervous because gym people will still be there.  Its different when you do a photoshoot and its just you and the photographer and a friend. 

Well, off to work.  I put in 91/2 hours yesterday….Im whupped.