THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

I have been VERY close to killing someone. My carb depleted brain is not happy today.   Its weird, Im ok most of the time, but irritable…….in spurts.  3 days of beef……ya I cheated with lettuce and a smidge of dressing.   I couldnt function well and even after 2 sets of 3 of Mitotropin, several coffees and work stress while trying to implement a "paperless" dental office pretty much on my own……….I had the lettuce.  Its a veggie carb and the dressing is carb free I think…………so nothing major.  My gym had pizza for cripes sake.  Luckily Im not a big pizza fan.  I think some of the irritability comes from being so focused on the upcoming show.  I can’t help that part. People don’t realize that "you look good" doesnt help much when you know you are going to be up there under bright lights being judged on hair, make-up, bodyfat, conditioning, etc etc etc……its grueling.  Then you get thease thoughts like "WTF am I doing this for?". I suppose its an accomplishment award……..cus DAMN…its not MONEY!!!  Like "job well done " or something along those lines. Frankly, Im doing pretty well in my "CAREER" WITHOUT WINNING MUCH OF ANYTHING.  Maybe its the adreneline Im addicted to.  Going onstage is a rush………….like crap your pants scared, but once you cover that hurdle you realize not many people have the balls to actually do it and maybe it makes you feel like …….not better than others…….just like you have balls………..heheeeeee.

I did the usual pump and posing workout.  I do it right in the gym in front of the whole gym. Front pose (no, not in a bikini) side pose, close eyes, pose, look in mirror……….you know.  I figure I have to get used to people looking at me, may as well start somewhere, right?

Tommorrow I start my chicken and a carb, but have yet to decide on what carb.  I usually use brown rice and not to get gross…..but rice is a binder.  I wont get too descriptive here, but if you got some PMS going on…you dont want to be holding anything in your lower ab area, if you get my drift.  Its kind of unavoidable ladies, unless going lean makes you lose your "friendly monthly visitor" BUT alas, that doesnt happen to me.  Even at about 6-8% I still have it.  Thsi means you may have to pull some water and find a carb that doesnt make you bloat and SUCK in the belly for pre judging.  OH and breathe and look pretty and smile at the same time…….

Ok, gonna fly.  Nice chatting……heheeeeeee. Im demented today…blame it on NO CARBS

I ran over and did the fastest leg workout ever.  Mass repped extensions, smith squats, curls, some incline situps, lateral raises, plie squats……..big bang booooommmmmmmm…………off to the beach! It was 80 something here today, so I couldnt wait to get my ass into the sand. I love the beach but  get eaaaasily BORED. I dont like sweating either, so a pool would probably help me out. The ocean is about 40 degrees here.  Ok, its the sound, not the ocean….still cold.

I have to be honest and say I ran out without any food and when I got to the beach I was starving.  After a couple hours it got painful and I made my daughter and her friend go to McDonald.  Yeah, 1 week out and I am eating Mickey D’s. Here is what I do in a pinch…….2 double cheeseburgers, toss out the bread.  Thats 4 meat patties.  A little greasy and salty, but it is protein.  I also had a snack wrap and ate the wrap.  I can afford a little carbs today.

People always assume I eat nothing or eat like a saint but its not true. When I get hungry, its pretty profound.  I may eat YOU if you get close enough to my cage…….Im grouchy when Im hungry. My daughter and her friend left to get the food and got lost………..took them an hour to come back…….my daughter almost lost and arm handing me the bag.  I eat really good all week and my contest diet is going to be beef for 3 days so I have to go grab some later after I get the beach scuz off me.  I never know what to buy as I am a crappy shopper.  i USUALLY BUY ALL THE SAME STUFF EVERY TIME i GO.  Turkey burgers, ground turkey, bag of chicken.  I hardly ever get beef cus its too damn expensive, but I need it for my final week. Last few days is rice and chicken.  No salt the last few days though, so the chicken is always fresh.  The frozen chicken is flash frozen in sodium broth.  You can load it with onion and garlic powder though. 

I weighed in at 123, not too bad.  Like I said, Im going to try to just waterload this show.  No deplete.  If I have to pull water for PMS……..so be it.  PMS for the stage sucks, but not much can be done about it.  Dudes are soooooo lucky to not have to contend with it.

I gotta go.  Here are some photos from my interview with Ben Tater from www.Criticalbench.com at the fitness atlantic show and expo.  He was a trip!

I havent been on here much.  I have been having trouble hooking into my internet or just been too  busy to mess it with it.  It was a long week at work as well because someone was out 2 days and I had to do their hours and stay longer. As you know, Im trying to ease into this show.  I have some fat on my legs and butt, supposedly this is a good thing this season.  Im not super cut as I have been before in some pics from last year.  I just have been eating lots of chicken and eggs and low carbing. Last night I went to breakfast after a night with the girls (no, I didnt drink a drop) and had eggs and toast and homefries.  I figured it was my last supper! This week is beef and chicken and shakes as well as a waterload and flushing, but NO water deplete like I have done before. I dont like what they do to your face and skin.

Skin prep is important too, otherwise your tan is going to look blotchy.  It will stick to the dry areas better, so scrub yourself with a brush often in the shower.  I did end up getting a tanning bed tan for a base tan and I have never been this tan before a spray, so we will see how it comes out. Ideally, I would take my tanning guy with me to spray me morning of the show.,…..but thats not going to happen! 

Other than my prep, not much is new.  I have been training pretty regularly.  Lots of reps, lighter weights like I said before. I havent had much time for cardio.  Its always my intent to do it, but something usually comes up.  It ends of being 830pm and I have to run home to help my youngest do his homework…or something.  At this point, my "look" is not going to change, so I guess it is what it is.  I have another show next month anyway.  State competititons. I placed 3rd last year in that one I think.  2nd in Northern States?  I forget, it was a combo show. 

Anyway, thats it.  I am doing an interview with critical Bench at the Fitness Atlantic today.  Im not competing in it though.  Too close to the Cutler and too crowded in the dressing room.  They allow crossovers from bikini and fitness modeling and it makes it too long for me. I think I was there for 13 hours last year.  The Cutler may be long, I have no idea.  BUT I have a hotel and can go back and forth if we finish pre judging early.  Its going to be tough because they have an over 35, but not over 40.  There is a big difference sometimes with that 5-6 year range sometimes. Guess I have to get moving.      

Men add, women subtract.  I never lie about my size. Now I am touching on this because yet another celebrity claims to be a size 2.  You know KIm Kardashian.  Now I have never met her, would probably be a nice girl to know, or a bitch…………I cant say.  Anyway, this whole size lie is out of control. Im a size 3, I have about 32-33 inch hips on me……..or rather, no hips.  Now this woman claims to be a size 2 yet it is pretty clear that her chest is a DD and her hip size pretty much matches……um………that area.   Lets say for scientific purposes her chest circumference (NOT cup size in this matter) is 32 (Im 37) Now, with that #, you have to say her hips and butt alone look 3 inches out to the sides of her chest circumference adds 6 inches on that…making her probably 38 inches in her hips.  THAT ladies would never fit into a pair of American Eagle size 2 jeans. I couldnt even zip the suckers up while laying on a bed to save my life!  Yes, she is like a hourglass and sexy in her own way……….so why does size matter? Who gives a shiznat what her # is!!!!????

Basiclly, other people’s dishonesty makes everyone feel bad about themselves. Would no one look at her if she said she was a 7? How about a 12?  Would she just be written off, never to set another juicy ass poster? Should our business cards state our size?  Shall we put them on job applications? Because apparently a low # is crucial ………just kidding.

I didnt w2ork out tonight.  I needed a break and I ate too much at dinner.  PMS pigout I think. I ate alot yesterdAY TOO. Im not killing myself for this show, you know that. Im trying not to look at my numbers.  My last weigh in was like 123lbs.  Yea, another #. 

Last night I did some back and bi’s and a little shoulders as well with my training partner.  Nothing too heavy because at this point its a little late to change my size for the show.  I like to do alot of reps pre contest.  I only did 15 on the treadmill after that at 3.5 mph and a 7 incline.  I booked my room in Boston already, but think I am just going to do a late entry day of the show. Im not sure,  they only take money orders and I keep forgettting to go to the bank.  I was there today and did I get one?  Of course not……..brain fart I guess.

 I do have to get a bottle of tanner though and book a spray.  Its a sunday show.  Some people hate that but I am loving it.  I dont have to leave work early on a friday to get sprayed.  I got a whole afternoon and next day to get my crap together.  Woo HOOOOOOO!

Gotta go….tuesday is Tv night.

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Phone interruptions…..but it is what it is

Here are some pictures from last night after the Nelsons Interview……..a Nelson Blonde sandwich.  I think i look goofy…..

You know I get a little obsessed as the season starts…what do they want?  What is the "look" this season?  I have never quite figured it out.  One month I lost to a jacked up chick, the next to a tiny bikini girl.  I feel like freakin goldilocks…too big , too small….you know the drill.  You don’t want to sound like an ass, but ya kinda know when you look more "fit" than someone else.  You kind of know when you have a good butt and the other person has the ass of a 6 year old.  I find it annoying. We often look to the pros to see what we want to shoot for and it sucks to know if Gina Aliotti was competing in the same show, chances are she would place 6th and lose to someone with no delts.  So, you have to just take it in stride I suppose. 

You know, I will get the nasty guest comment as always.  That one chick who signs on as a guest to read my stuff and leave a negative comment. Woo hoo, you go sista….bring it!!  Yah, big secret I prefer to look like Monica Brant or Michelle Flake rather than a Victoria Secret model….so what?  It appears lots of women here want the same thing as me.  If you want to be an air eating stick figure…….go for it, Im not your mom.

Tonight I did just cardio and tanning.  Im caught up on my training.  Last night was posing as will be tomorrow night.  I have to wait until the gym is almost empty because people will just stare through the window at me like a tiger at the zoo….or a beluga whale…………whatever.  I know I have to suck it up and just do it as I have carpets at home and quarter turns dont work on carpet.  Not to mention loosing up my achillies tendon so I can walk in 5 inch heels without a calf cramp.  No matter what size shoes I get, they never fit right!  I have 2 sets of pads in them and still……not great. 

I taped it, will post it when I get time.  Honestly I need a new video camera as mine stinks, but I cant afford it just now.  I was going to wear my suit but it needs alterations and I am a well known procrastinator.   Less than 2 1/2 weeks til showtime and I havent fixed my suit or booked my room or signed up yet.  heheeee…..ooops.

2 tips    suits/used and new cheap………  www.divaexchange.com  and www.newenglandnpc.com for the shoes I have.  Im competing on a budget, but no need to look like it!!! 

A friend made an appropriate assessment of my recent mood……….I have game face.  I guess being 3 weeks out from a show really wakes you up. I cant even rememeber the last time I had carbs besides a few veggies or lettuce. Im not even sure of my weight right now.  The scale at the gym said 123, then a few days later……126. Sometimes I get really tired of the numbers. Im pretty lean, still got some fat here and there, but overall….not too shabby.  My only issue with lean is belly skin.Below my belly button gets super thin and wrinkles sometimes when I lean over, but it is what it is.  4 kids and a 44 inch stretched out waist does that to you. 

Last night I did some tris, abs and calves and a shoulder pump.  Despite my lack of carbs I can still geta  pump.  Im trying to decide on a carb up day at the moment.  I know I need it, just not ready.

My suit needs a little adjusting, I have to order tanner (Jan tana as usual) ,book my room and pay my entry fee………Im procrastinating as usual.  I did get my NPC card in the mail though yesterday.  Now for the incidentals like spray tan for a base and nails.  I have real nails at this time, including the black one that got squished of course, but I want a french manicure.  Even if these things dont seem like a big deal, they are because in figure we are judged on everything!  I can walk in my 5 inch heels but they really tighten and cramp up my calves so I have to practice.  I do practice the more relaxed posing all the time though. Straight arms are IN this season..but NO flexing…….its a bitch.

Hope you all have a nice Tuesday.  I have to teach during lunch today, so no cardio then.  Apparently I have been appointed the techie geek of the office and have to show others how to import documents into charts via scanner.  Old dogs, new tricks……..whoopie.  I thought thats why I went blonde……no one expects much from you…….YA RIGHT. 

Go heavy or go home   

Quick leg workout today, gym closed early. Lots of fine tuning workouts, max weight was 155 smith squats, 80 leg extensions, 80 leg curls, 50 standing kickbacks, 45 lb plie squats.  Mixed it up with some incline situps, pump shoulder lateral raises, DB deadlifts, etc.  My rule is no cardio on legs day. Frying the legs already, no ned to "dry" them up, ya know?

I have plenty of eggs to eat today~  I was starving yesterday while out shopping so I stopped in for 2 double cheeseburgers, but I scraped of the bread and the ketchup. Still "no carbs" at under 10% and that comes from vegetables.  Im living on Mitotropin and coffee..but this show is important and I dont want to look like a slob on stage.  Super lean is supposedly out this year.  We’ll see, wont we?

This is a lifestyle.  This is not "oh crap, summer is coming and I have to lose 20 lbs!" kind of existance for me.  I stay relatively fit all year round.  I dont want to be the girl you dont recognize off stage because I lost 30lbs to go on stage. Sometimes those women look great and kick my ass, but if thats what I have to do to win a show……..I’d rather lose. 

I have been teased, harrassed, called dirty names, made fun of for what I eat and it still has not stopped me.  Pissed me off on occasion, but not stopped me.  At the end of the day…..I’m good with myself and thats all that matters. If other people’s insecurities make them pick on people nothing you say will stop them.  I have a group of women I work with.  Most of the time they are funny, but other times they get the "pack" mentality and I wont even go into the lunchroom with them in there.  Last time was "did you get that from the fat sucked out of your ass" comment in reference to me eating ground turkey. Why is it acceptable to pick on anyone, big or small?  I would never say "hey Jill, your ass is huge…..step away from the cake".  Ok, there is no Jill at my office, but you get the point.  Never in a million years would I say that to anyone……I have manners.

I started my "life" later than some.  Perhaps I am trying to play catch up in some regards?  I had children young and like being a mom but I have more me time as the kids get older. There were many days way back when…when I didnt even look in a mirror. Im still the same person really, just the person inside has finally come out I guess.  Thats not a bad thing.  I love competing, I love my new friends and I love the way I feel.  Im more positive, friendly and giving than ever…….and it all started with a gym membership.

Anywhoooooo…..sorry for my rant.  I just get tired of people trying to squash others to raise themselves up. No, no one is picking on me at the moment, thats not why Im writing this…so no worries. 

I did a quick pump up workout today, then 20 on the stepmill. I think the guys on the treadmill behind me were looking at my butt though.  Sorry, I was wearing pants……….hahaaaaaaa!

Happy Easter weekend!

Im beginning to dial in!  People noticed I was leaner today and I went to the gym with a crop top on and the abs are getting nice and lean again.  I probably havent lived a day over 10% bodyfat in a couple years, but I prefer to walk around at 6…..heheeeeeeeee

I just did a quick pump workout this morning, then a few minutes of cardio, then tanning. By pump workout I mean light weights and the super sets.  Like 10 lbs db’s doing curls, tris, delts and just keep going for 12 of one to 12 of another until I have to stop.  I feel really good actually, despite the whole “no carb” thing.  Im on my Mitotropin so I dont get tired as much. Its allllllll good.

Here are some new pics to show progress.  I think my legs are better than last season