THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

SHINEDOWN baby!!!

Had to change my name…….wont go into details, it is what it is. Better to be a smartass than a dumbass is what I always say.

Anyway, Im like 95% better today.  Not really coughing much, so hopefully I am beating this thing. Im really against the use of antibiotics, so I am choosing to fight it myself. call me crazy!

So I went to the gym and did tris, shoulders and a little calves.  Tris are hard for me now as the movements seem to involve the pectoralis minor to  a certain degree.  You probably would never think that, right?  I kind of stuck to rope on cables and kickbacks.  For shoulders we did smith raises, smith presses, used a long bar in a corner, lateral raises and the hammerstrength machine.  Calves was just the slide machine.    It was a long workout actually..over and hour and 1/2.

So I saw my doctor today and the reason I am mentioning this is because everything is normal except that I had crazy pecs and they like to tighten like vices on me, so everything is slower to “loosen up” AND I got post op pics taken and they usually do like 5 photos, but the guy was snapping away like a photoshoot and I am thinking “is this how you paid for your education?” “Are you selling these on the internet?” because he took aout 3 from every angle and I think he had a burst effect going on.  He didnt tell me to make a sexy face or anything…..My friend says later “he didnt have a tent in his white coat did he?” I was dying laughing!  You always have to wonder what they are thinking when they are checking out your “rack”.  I mean they did it, but heck..they ARE men afterall.  They say “looks good, looks great” and “you have to massage them and push them together”  and Im standing there in a clinical fashion with my gown open….its just weird…..  

Oh , one more thing.  I have walked in on 2 seperate women sitting on public toilets in 3 days!!!  Damn, dont women lock the door anymore!!??  I have to laugh thinking about the way they bend over and shriek a little!  The first one did not come out, so I used the mens room.  I had to GO!  So of course a man pulls on the door while I am in there and out I walk ……. I just say ” I HAD to GO”….and giggle.  the second one…well, she didnt even run the water, she ran out fast!  Picture that!!!! “EEEEKKKK” the knees go together…..so funny!!!

Ok, said my piece……..sweet dreams!!

I probably pushed the envelope more than in the last 5 weeks today. My leg press was a decent 430 or so and I was doing smith squats at 125, leg curls at 100 and extensions at 110.  I still feel a little week, still sick…..its lingering…and lingering, but I have to get a more on if I am going to do this show.  I have decided to drop 5 lbs, then do a deplete and lose another 5 or so week of show and hope to come in at 115.  Does that make sense to you?  I think I have 4 weeks left….plenty of time. 

Now I do get asked how many sets, how many reps.but legs days have no real rules for me.  We are talking major muscle groups here.  I do about 8-12 of everything…..sometimes last few sets are 6 reps.  I dont like rules much as you can tell.

Today is get serious about diet day as well.  Im never really BAD, but I am not on a competition type diet yet. Tonight I am going to boil up my chicken, do my rice and veggies, all that good stuff.  Welcome to the world of "my food is boring".   Ya ya, if I have to explain "stage lean" to one more guy in public and have him tell me I dont need to lose anything……..I will scream.  Stage appearance has nothing to do with how I look at present.  Fine, Im tiny by most standards, but not stage standards. Im not going to argue with anyone who doesnt know why I do what I do.  I have had to deal with tons of people and I am not going to defend my lifestyle.  I like it, it makes me happy.deal with it.  We are freaks of a sort.so be it.

At the club the other night there were women behind me talking about me….so I turn around and say "hey, Im 40 and I dress how I want"(or something like that) , soooooooo they were like "holy crap, you’re 40?" and changed their attitudes.  Yeah I was wearing ripped jeans, but they were not tight really.  I think they thought I was like some groupie chick they could pick on.so we became fast friends and they turned out to be my age and super funny! See, people need to be nice and not judge so quickly, you could be missing out of meeting some new friends.

Tomorrow I am meeting my workout partner. My chest and tris day is no longer happening, so we will do shoulders and tris.  Have a great sunday!

Here are some photos from the show.  My friend Jodi has more on her camera…..all the interview ones actually, but we had an awesome time.  Im not sure when the TV show will air, but it will be on Fox this time.  WE interviewed all 3 bands.  Shinedown, 10 years and Halestorm.  As a co host I just had a couple random questions because I am new at this….and nervous on camera, so bear with me please.  Im used to filming myself in the gym, not having 3 cameras and lights on me with tons of people watching. We got to watch from behind barriers on the side and the crowd was so energetic you couldnt help but have a great time.  I took some video, but it was on my camera, so its pretty inaudible as the music was so loud.  Anyway, here are some photos.  If you dont know these bands, check them out!  Halestorm was new to me, female singer and she rocked the house!

Oh, hold up….pics are tooo big to upload.  I will post them on myspace in a gallery. here is the link.  I didnt post them all……taking too long!!

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=39321893&albumId=2562994

This happens to everyone of course.   Those days when everything wants to look appealing.  Yes, its about willpower of course.  Try working in a dental office!  These women always have snacks.  I swear everyone gains 20 lbs after being hired.  Part of the problem is they pick on you about your food.  I know my food is kind of smelly, like boiled eggs or tuna or broccoli..but hey, its food and I am eating it because its good for me.  Society puts so much stress on food.  We go to picnics, we have feasts, we go to dinner to socialize, stores are packed with temptations…..its HARD.  So how do we resist?    If I do go food shopping, I skip the "middle isles".  The middle isles usually have the stuff that will get you nowhere fast.  On the end is the milk and dairy………and the meat…..on the other is usually frozen veggies and on the other side.fresh fruit and veggies. Of course you have to venture into the middle to get your brown rice and pasta and your almonds and stuff like that…..BUT no reason to walk down the snack isle or the frozen processed food isle at all. My PMS brain is the one that tries to sabotage me.  My kids will tell you there is no junk in our haouse and never has been. They think little Debbie is a girl down the street!  Call me food Nazi, but they get ice cream a couple times a month and we usually have popcorn in the house.  I have apple cinnamon rice cakes with crunchy peanut butter when I get the munchies. like 11 grams of carbs.not so bad.

Im not so strict all the time.  Lately my pre competition diet has been crappy, but I havent been shopping cus I have been sick and light sensitive…so avoiding the bright grocery store.  It has consisted mostly of boiled eggs, oatmeal, tuna and a little bit of whole wheat pasta with garlic broccoli and ground turkey. I was going to do some cardio last night, but being congested changed my mind.  I was in fear of a coughing fit, so I try not to over exert myself.

My "non cardio"…cardio routine is a no go because Im still limited in movement.  It’ll be quite some time before I can do a pull up or chin up.  I cant do anything that requires fully extending my arms and putting weight on them.  I cant even do laying leg extensions well because I have to grip with arms extended and can’t "push myself up and off it".  I have to slide backwards to the floor and get up.  Its kind of comical.

My gym guys have been great and very supportive.  They ask me questions openly as they know what I did, not like I can hide it.  They know why I did it too.  Its kind of like the white elephant in the room!  Im glad they ask……..it kind of show respect in a strange way.

Off to interview Shinedown tomorrow!! Its going to be a super long day as we have to be there for band load in and interview in the afternoon then go back for the show at night.  I feel so blessed!!  Also interviewing another band as well and the kicker is I just found out I am interviewing bands at the casino as well and possibly the arena there!! EVERYONE plays the casino arena………like Motley Crue, Judas Priest, BonJovi and country bands as well………..sweet.  Hope that is coming up!!  The TV show is "local" right now, but possibly going to Fox in the future!! 

I will keep you posted!

What the Hell is up with that site. I just started up my account again after a couple years. Last time I put on stage photos in my figure suit and got banned………..once again……..I have been banned and I dont know if this is why. they havent even the common courtesy to tell me why and I lost 500 friends and business contacts in the process. My photos are the same here as there, so I am lost.

Has this happened to any other bodybuilder or model you know? Im a freakin competitor and fitness model….am I supposed to be sportin a turtleneck? Damn, when I was anorexic I didnt wear one of those damn things….hate em…………choke me out.

oN a sidenote………….had a good workout. I had the flu or whatever so my strength is down a little and i didnt want to kick my immune systems behind, but I did ok.

Leg extensions like 80 lbs , leg press 230 or so. Im still having trouble doing certain things like laying leg press cus my chest locks up on me. Im just living for the day I am back to chin ups and dips for cripe sake. Im like ababy bird just out of the nest. Kind of freaking as the Jay Cutler is coming. Trying not to back out of course but dayum…………Im down to 122 and thats an 8 lbs loss in less than 5 weeks without trying…and its muscle I lost. Still trying to locate my butt…so if you have seen my butt………call me please ….I miss it.

Im very excited about interviwing Shinedown and I havent even gotten my questions yet.  I also may interview a band called Kix from the 80’s who I used to LOVE.  Ok, ran on stage at a show in 1986………..probably the wildest thing I did in 1986……..as I was only 18 at the time.

Nothing else to report really, possible shoot with herbiceps.com coming up.  best ladies biceps on the internet!!! Go girls with guns.you rock!!! 

I have none of the finished work, was sick…but it was great.  he had top of the line everything.  if you are interested go to www.johnfhill.com and check out his other work. My sister went and said the images were great.  I saw a few but honestly I had rings from the flash in my vision.  I feel very fortunate that this man asked me to work with him. Hopefully he will have a few uploaded for me to post tomorrow. 

Like I said, still sick, felt like I got hit by a truck, but I made it through.  i was freezing the whole shoot but modeling is kind of like acting………..you have to fake it. Basically I was modeling in fitness wear, shorts and crop top……….then a bikini.  The last part of the shoot was a water stopping shot, so I had to dump a bottled water onto my face.  CHOKING is not pretty and I got some up my nose……..4 times….woo hoo!!

We will shoot again in warmer weather for sure.

I may go do legs tomorrow.  I have to see how I feel.  I have been pushing the envelope and I know its making me sick.  Last night I went to pick up a bread starter at the gym and ended up chatting with my friend Eric for awhile, so I rode the recumbant bike easy for 20 while waiting. 

This coming Friday I am co hosting a TV show and get to interview a band called Shinedown!!!  I love those guys!!  I dont want to be sick for this!!!  Check them out here..they are awesome!

or more hardcore

Im so excited!!! 

<strong />

Ya…..sick again.  I was just sick a couple weeks ago and here I am again.  yesterday was fever and joint pain.  I went to work that way and made it through the day but today I am staying home to rest. My immune system is shot I think. Im stubborn and I push myself, what can I say?

I did not go to the gym last night either.  I went the night before and did sort of a full body routine..so I was sore from that, top it with a fever and you are miserable. I have a shoot tomorrow, so I have to get better as soon as possible. Its a really cool shoot. top notch photographer and I dont want to miss out. Its not traditional bikini stuff either…..more of muscle art I hope.  Not that I am super lean or anything…….Im feeling rather soft.  My last muscular ripped pics were at 114-118 lbs and I am still at 123.

I will probably stop over at the gym tonight, but not to train.  I have some Amish friendship bread to pick up from a friend.  I have a spray tan at 3 as well.  It will help me look healthy even if I am not feeling it!!

Hope everyone had a great week

Fern

Im not really sure where I stand here.  As you know, figure is very grey as far as guidelines. My issue, if you read my stuff is always numbers!  I weigh 123 right now…..do I deplete and drop 5lbs in a week, maintaining the weight I have now and come out at 118 or do I diet some, do a little cardio, lose 5 and do not deplete?  Its all in the air a this point and I am having trouble deciding.  Part of it is my numbers………I competed against women who weight 100 lbs at my height, thats 23 lbs less than me, but for me to drop just to match anothers number would make me totally shredded.  Im already just a size 3 or so, so to drop to a zero……..jeez God.thats teeny and kind of anorexic for me……no buttt…………no butttttttttttttt!!!!

I just dont want to look "big" next to other women.  Hard to imagine a 123 lb woman at 5′3" looking BIG……….but its all about who shows up and who you are standing next to, right?  I mean, i go good bi’s , but if I stood next to a chick with 14 inch arms…………I would look like a stick.

I did work out tonight.   Mostly back and bi’s.  My back has flattened out a bit from lack of training and believe it or not, will probably benefit me somewhat.  With limited mobility I cant work it much, but did do some light sets of rows, delt flies , and smith rows.  We did barbell curls, db curls and machine crls.  Supersetted lateral raises with barbell rows, and threw in some tris and calves.

My training at this point is usually bodyweight exercises, but I have to be honest and tell you the whole surgery thing screwed this up.  Incline situps nearly killed me, kneeling cables are a no go and hanging leg raises.,………..NOPE……..I still have abs, but ab crunches ona bench is really all I am doing right now to maintain.  I will come back eventually.  At least I dont expect a potbelly and if anything…….a body is always going through changes and you can see how many "looks" you can go through……..more muscular, less….more lean, fuller.etc.  etc.

Despite my age, this really is stil a beginning for me and I want to keep going for years to come! 

Happy St Paddy’s Day!..YES I am Irish!

Great show.  I had an incident with a woman and her boyfriend in front of me and had to have them moved. Good Lord, my camera strap touched her hair……….so she slapped my hand and called me a skank.  I was like "excuuuuse me?".  Then her boyfriend stands up and gets all up in my grill and calls me a bitch and I told him to sit down, then I went to security and had them escorted to another seat.  Yes, my friends and I were having a good time, but it WAS a concert.  Usually if someone behind you accidently touches you, you just let them know and they say sorry, correct.  I told her it was just my camera strap and it wasnt intentional and then she started with the skank talk…….of course you can hardly hear in there anyway. 

Frankly, if you want to sit at a concert, go see John Tesch or the ballet…..this was Papa Roach and Buck Cherry. Who sits?  They proceeded to sit the entire concert a section away from us. BORING. I paid to have a good time.  I HAD a good time.

Well, Im training tonight….Happy St Paddy’s Day!

I went in to do legs, but had to hit up some other parts with some light sets of course.  Part of my leaning out routine includes supersets with low weights.  Enough to maintain muscle yet get a cardio burn.  I never did cardio on legs day and no, you dont have to either.

My legs were feeling stronger, but I didnt go nuts.  Im afraid to lift a 45 lbs plate to be honest, didnt have a partner, so I stuck to machines, the rack and soem db sets.

I hit up leg extensions about 4 times and left it at 95 lbs I think, 80 for seated curls.  I did abductor and adductor machine, romanian deadlifts, plie squats and machine leg press at 300.  That doesnt really count as 300 cus its counter balanced of course. I did my cable kickbacks as well.

For shoulders;; lateral raises at 10 lbs, front and delt raises at just 5 and some tris kickbacks at 10.  I did a few things for lats, but they hurt, so I stopped.  I act a little nuts, but Im not stooopid.

Bench crunches for abs and roman chair for lower back and glutes.

20 lb db curls as well.

I was happy with my workout and may go back later to train my bro in law as well. I will limit what I do of course…just show him the ropes, ya know?  My immune system has taken a hit so I have to be smart.

I got dizzy a few times today.  I did calves as well on the slide machine, decently cut right now.  Seriously, Im very lucky.  I havent trained much in the past 4 weeks, so I had to modify my diet so I dont gain weight.  Im down from 130 to 123.5 or was that 122.5?

Anyhooooo………….I may go take a nap to recover.  I still tire pretty easily, but am off all meds and have been for over a week.  I hated percocets!!  I remember nothing, so if I sent you a text……forgive me!!!

Love ya!!!