THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

I did legs for 2 hours……several sets of each of these.

linear hack press 4 45′[s each side

leg press 4 45’s each side

plie’ dumbbell squats 40 lbs

romanian deadlift with dumbbells 35lbs each hand

leg extensions

seated and laying leg curls

bench cable kickbacks

smith squats with varied foot positions

abductor/adductor

and……… I threw in some 380 lb donkey calf raises, 160 lb calf slide machine sets for good measure.  It was hot in the gym, I was dehydrated to begin with, so after I finished my sizeon (after superpump) and some water I had a strawberry blonde frozen protein shake with an extra scoop of protein to cool down and did some more sets.

I was distracted because my daughter has been followed home twice in a couple of weeks late at night, again last night, so I was awake really late. Im freaked out really.  Same car, same way……..its pretty scary.

Excuse my crabbiness

I posted a negative thing…….and I take it back. Not everyone likes themselves every day you know. Today I feel quite inadequate and shit on.  I won’t elaborate.  Maybe its hormones or the weather, who knows?  Im back from doing 2 hours of legs and am going to take a nap now. Hopefully my mood will improve.

I had an upgrade over here at the new house.  It takes me about 3 minutes to post a comment and I sometimes get "webpage not found", therefore I havent really replied to many people.  Apparently it isnt just me because you cant even reach the cable company.  Its pretty maddening to me to watch that little grrn bar go and go and go……..and then nothing and you have to post all over again. 

Yester I had the day off so I took 2 hours in the gym.  I hit up most everything, even some legs.  I benched 105 for 8 reps on the first set  and still got 6 on the 3rd set, so I was feeling pretty strong.  I did everything like I said, but only 2 sets with some things and at least 8 reps with everything I did. My pecs and my lats are sore but thats about it.  My ankle had been giving me trouble, so I took it easy as last time I screwed it up it blew up to 4 times its normal size all the way up to my calf.  part of the problem is I have tiny bones and my muscle strength exceeds my tendon limits.  For example, I can do 400 lbs on the donkey calf raise easy or curl 70lb barbell, but it hurts my ankle and my wrist to do these.  I have great gloves with straps and that helps the wrists, but the ankle is another story.  I may have to resort to trying the bike to get more calf size, but like everyone, to spend time in the cardio room….ewwwwww. Who has time for that? 

Now I have to find time to book some shoots, do more videos (a friend is making me a PPV web site)train, work at my day job, help set up sponsors for the US Fight League, see my kids of course, and try to keep everyone happy.  Lately I am giving my card out all over the place.  Apparently little blonde chicks with biceps are rare…heheeeeee. Last night I got approached in the store and asked if I want to make some appearances with this guest DJ who was in town.  I also have to get my own sponsors for the spring 09 season so I can compete at masters nationals.  Competing is getting more expensive even without the 2 piece suit.  My own fault as I competed in every division possible, but you have to pay for your assistants ticket as well as a backstage pass. I already have a sponsor for a new suit!  Im going to need a national level and those are quite costly. What else?

I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday.  Im so glad its over!!  Of course my mom had to make tons of cookies and stuff, so my willpower has to be top notch.  I lost 4 lbs so far.  I didnt want to diet, but I dont know if I have to go to LA, so I have to watch my "leaness". Cant be all jiggly on stage. 

I posted some new side by sides on my progress pics. I am happy to say I dont look like the same person!  Who was that woman?

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I edited….the first three pics are me!!!  sad but true………size 3 and not sexy…….thaaaatsaaaaaaa mom body 

Have you heard this one before?  I have of course.  Nope ,was never in the obese category, but I was more into the skinny/fat category.  It basically means you are what others man term skinny, yet when you lean over, your belly runs over your waistband, you grab the area on your thighs and squeeze and it looks like an orange skin and you butts kinda square and folded over on itself.  Cellulite is very common in these people as it was in me. We diet, we eat salads, starve ourselves to one meal a day, or none at all.  We wonder why if we don’t eat, we still look bad.  Look at the photos above……….none of these women are “FAT” (dirty word that is it, sorry) yet, none look very good now do they.  This is a mix of supermodels, actresses and other women snipered by a camera in a bad position.  Im tired of hearing , ” you were never fat”……..I was pregnant 4 times up to 160 lbs, I was anorexic at 98lbs, I had cellulite, no waist and that awful under the arm jiggle.  I knew if I didnt stop doing what I was doing , it would only get worse.  Please educate yourselves and educate your daughters about what it means to be skinny/fat and unhealthy.  Its no better than being overweight.  I learned to eat properly and even if you don’t want to be muscular, you can still get in some full body workouts and tighten things up andlose some bodyfat.  the only way cellulite goes away is liposuction or a good diet……..I opted for the good diet of course. When you starve yourself, you end up looking like the ex model in shot #2.  This horrifies me as this is where I was heading.  Sure, she is older now and skin is not so resilient as we age, but there are other women her age who are fit and healthy and her yo-yo dieting probably made things worse.  Im not ready to look “old”!!! 

Our fat cells are like “baffles” layered on top of each other……this creates the dimpling effect.  Lack of decent food and exercise and you lose muscle, in turn, your fat stores grow !!!!  Its your body’s way of protecting inself in times of starvation………so this is why you get smaller when you ‘diet’ badly and you still look like crap………plain and simple. Makes total sense to me…….NOW, but not a few years ago.  This also goes for the cardio junkies.  I dont mean 20 minutes a day, I mean an hour a day, 2 hours a day………..been there, dont that……….all it did was make me wonder where my ass went to and do they have girls jeans in this store cus a 0 is too big for me……not shit, not a proud moment in my history.

 I was stupid to abuse myself and maybe if you look in that mirror and hate your ’skinny’ body, you will wake up like I did.

Im commiting myself to a clean diet today.  I went nuts after comnpeting and am supposed to be bulking but after talking to the publisher of Oxygen, I have to do a photoshoot on my own to submit some workout photos and this means I need to up my game s little bit.  We all have this area of stubborn fat, call it pudge if you want.  My pudge is around my belly button and with my thick abs and obliques….it just makes me look thicker.  I weighed 126 today.  This will affect my bulk but I can still lift heavy and gain some muscle after I get some good photos.  Im sure I could dehydrate and drop 5lbs in a week, but you know the face will suffer.  So, here is what I am doing right now.  Its tough, its boring and I am lacking some cashola because I have 4 kids at home to provide Christmas for……same as most people this time of year I guess.  It is what it is.

My super cheapola diet

1. 1/2 cup of oatmeal and 2 boiled eggs

2. protein shake (possibly some plain almonds)

3. Ground turkey mixed with brown rice and about 1/4 cup frozen veggies

4. protein shake (maybre a boiled egg)

5. More ground turkey (or other meat at dinner) throw in my brown rice and a veggie like meal 3

6. protein shake

Ok, this sounds meager and unhealthy doesnt it?  Its temporary and I will substitute the meals with a can of tuna and some lettuce and mayo here and there. I will also toss a boiled egg down the hach if I get the hungries or even 1/2 cup of veggies in the evening or a salad.  I will eat like this for about 3 or 4 days then drop to no carbs all day, then follow it with a carb up day of whole what pasta, sprinkled with garlic powder, I cant believe it’s not butter spray and some frozen broccoli………pretty damn tasty.  Seeing as I have been eating pretty much whatever I want…..this should work pretty good.  When I get my tax refund, i will be back in business will the chicken breast and a little bit of beef.

This time of year sucks for everyone. We constantly have 2 platters of crap on the table at work staring us down.  Today I didnt touch one damn piece.  Yes, I like chocolate, but do not have a crazy sweet tooth (Thank God). 

I got in a good workout tonight.  Mass reps moderate weights because I havent gone since thursday!!!  We did legs and a little bit of chest.  Low carbing it today and I was a little muscle tired.  I have to get used to doing under 100 grams again.  Once you get going, its easy.  its the first week that really sucks.

Hope you all had a great day!!!  Deborah Ann was kind enough to offer to let me try her workout line and says she has some great shorts that suit a womans fitness needs…she would know!  have you seen her?  Thanks for all your advice!!!