THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

Finally. back to being me….grunting, blowing air between my teeth…….crazy old me.  It feels so good and I spent 2 solid hours doing legs and would have gone for more if I truly was nuts.  As it is raining, still have to watch my bad knee, but did get to 375 or so on the leg press and about the same on the linear hack press. I wish I could squat more on the smith, but have to keep it moderate as tht seems to be the worst thing for my knee so I stick to about 85.  Dumbbell deadlifts at 30 each hand, cable kickbacks at 70…did some with the bench and some standing, adductor/abductors , leg extensions: dropsets starting at 125, seated curls 85 I think and I didnt do any laying leg curls and I don’t know why.  I didnt do any glute isolator either, brain fart or something.  i did do my modified leg press, so I am hoping for an ass on fire kind of feeling tomorrow.  I really intend to stick to my 2 heavy legs day.  I tell my gym guy friends this and they always say my legs are "fine" "good the way they are", but they dont seem to understand it’s a stage thing.   I lose a good inch on my legs when I am leaner…freakin plucked chicken syndrome! I think they are up to a little over 20 now and I have no idea what my bodyfat is. I don’t check it…so who gives a crap anyway.

I also did my smith leg press and I really missed them.  With all this moving, being unsettled, i just was losing it a little.  Life was too distracting and I never seemed to have enough hours in the day.  Thats probably a good thing though….a little rest.  i didnt stop going, just didnt have as much energy as usual.  I suppose it happens to everyone.

I have about 3-4 months to decide if I am ready to do bodybuilding next year. Its a comfort level thing.  Not with the basic poses as I do them all the time in the gym, side chest , tris , abdominal thigh, back double, etc.  Its the routine.  I can imagine myself so nervous I freeze up or something…that would be BAD….and most embarrasing.  It has been suggested I do it because I’m still pretty feminine and would set a good example as to what female bodybuilders look like…stop the stereotype.  I love the human  form with muscles, have ever since seeing Greek statues as a child……artistic and strong, you know what I mean? 

Anyway, enjoy your day!

Fine, fine, I live in CT……….but damn……..it’s screwing up everything I plan for. I still have stuff at my old house in the garage that I have to move, so my plan was to run my son over there to see his father after borrowing my landlords truck (he’s a peach, he offered) then running to church at 1030 because I have hardly been lately and feel guilty, then run to the gym and do some legs, then go back to the house and finish moving some stuff. BUT NOW…..I wake up and we have little balls of sleet or whatever the hell it is all over the roads so now I am stuck here.  My car has that TCS system and it’s something that controls the steering wheel and/or wheels when you start to slip.  I hate it, would rather control my own damn car.  Its like a ghost is grabbing the steering wheel..freaks me out….

So I am just sitting here waiting for it to warm up enough to start raining.  I can deal with rain, but my schedule is shot.

Oh, did I tell you that the ex and I are past the point of anger I think?  I had stopped being angry awhile ago, but he had alot of hate for me.  Anyway, I decided to have a long chat with him and things are better now.  He is living in the old house and we talk to each other pretty normally.  Guess after 4 years, it was time. Maybe he stopped seeing me as the bad guy, I don’t know.  I just know I couldnt live like that. Who can go around expending so much energy on hate?  I hope he is happy and he has a girlfriend, good for him.

Now what?  Im so bored.  I got a cheapo camera for now, so my new photos kind of suck, but they are new. I dropped my old one trying to pack.  Its amazing how when you cant take pics, you don’t know if you are changing.  I think I have changed alot in a little more than a month, Im pleased!!!  Someone in the gym told me I have a huge back and I was very happy!!!!!  Fine, other women beat me in competitions, but my back is bigger and better than any on stage!!!!!!! Now to get my little legs to catch up.  I have been eating like a horse to fuel them and I am trying for either 2 heavy or 2 light and 1 heavy leg day.  I will try to at least work them a little on the light days, a few sets. 

Im also going to try to make a food video in my new kitchen to show you some going lean tips.  I have tons! 

I’ll write later, got to get off my butt and do something   

After turning 40 I do think about this sometimes.  How much time do I have left to look ok?  Is that a wrinkle? Is that a sag?  Do others see youger people than them and think, "wow, she looks older than me" when she is 10 years younger?  Why does chronoligical age have to come up so often?  I know it gives others your age or younger some kind of hope sometimes.  I look at fabulous 50 year old women and wonder if I can look that good at 50.  Why does society focus on the 20 sometimes who probably make up 20% of the entire population? Frankly, us "older people" have more money and can buy more products.  Why do they use a 25 year old woman to sell wrinkle cream?  Why is the skinny woman modeling the "fat compression" suits? What ever happened to real? Im sure men feel the same way as well….not about the wrinkle cream, but about not feeling "cool" cus all the "cool" guys in magazines are so much younger.  Maybe because older men are more acceptable in society…………we just become "old chicks".  I was thinking about this the other night while watching "Knocked up".  The sister wanted to go out, the doorman wouldnt let them in and she wanted to go dancing…..so she said she was old, her youth was gone. She’s probably supposed to be 30!  Damn, I like dancing too……apparently it’s not age appropriate to want to have fun?  Holy shit, grab my wheelchair……….
Lets sum it up this way……..Im 40 and I bet there is a 50 year old that wishes they were still 40 and there are 70 year olds who would still call us kids.  In the gym, if the 1/2 ball is laying around I cannot resist bouncing on it like a kid on a mattress, its fun, screw what people think. If I suppress my silly side for the sake of appearances I might as well wear a sign thaT SAYS "OLD FART".
No, this is not a mid life crisis.I have always been this way as the brain doesnt age like the body does.  I now just have more balls to express myself.
So where am I going with this post?  Just know that older could mean better for you.  I saw an 83 year old woman waterskiiing in a commercial a couple days ago!!  Thats 43 years away from me!!!  She was kicking ass and I was in awe.
Also, after 40 is when people who dont take care of themselves, start to get diabetes high blood pressure, heart attacks, etc.  So start taking care of yourself and maybe we will both be water skiing at 83!!

I got a PM from a guy who says I was rude to him last year.said he sent me a joke and I said my boyfriend wouldnt like it. Obviously something was taken the wrong way as I have no recollection of it, cant even recall any comment from him.  Most times if I get a questionable comment, I ignore or delete it. I know that lots of people here get comments they don’t like and after 2 years I have learned to ignore them……..just not worth the expended energy when you can just hit a delete button and move on.

I went to the gym today and did some back and bi’s.  I have to be honest and say alcohol and workouts do not mix.  Even though I probably had a glass and 1/2 of wine yesterday, I was feeling it today.  It makes my body feel tired and probably a little dehydrated. Im a serious lightweight as it is. Plus I get a lazy eye and look like a cat falling asleep.

Tonight I am supposed to be going to a weigh in party for the US Fight League to learn the ropes so I can help with promotions.  The fights are tomorrow night and I forgot about the weigh in party actually.  They have fighters from all over the east coast, so its pretty exciting.  The average age is probably 22 though and no, I am not looking to hook up with anyone.so dont even go there!!!  Fighting is the one sport that I enjoy, used to be boxing actually before I discovered MMA.

Anyway, Im rambling and probably boring you.  The only good news I have right now is a wee little weight gain.Im up to 126 and 1/2!!  I feel bigger today and am really pleased with the roundness of my shoulders and bi’s.  I still can flex the abs and make them pop, so no worries.

Yes, I ate too much after a couple glasses of wine….needed a little nap……..so I wake up and am getting laughed at.  Apparently I was the center of fun because my family took pictures of me with pickles and bread on my head!  haha, I will post them when I get them!!  Told you they were nuts. Yes, 2 glasses of wine and I am the silliest chick on the planet.  After I woke up I made the dessert mistake…ate too much food and felt like one of those wooden kegs held together with steel bands, the bands being my own waist. I feel like an Alkaseltzer ad, plop plop fizz fizz. 

Im going to train tomorrow 2 times I think.  Another legs day and maybe forearms.  I think I am back on track with my schedule, this house is almost all put together so I have more time.  Going hard and heavy.

I hope you all had a great day and didnt get pickles on your head.  I will probably pull an olive out of my ear later or something…………its alllllll good  

This year I am thankful for many things.  A few years ago I have pictures of my bad thanksgiving..or rather, my Prozac Thanksgiving.  I weighed 98lbs and could barely keep my eyes open.  In the photos I look like a zombie.   So much has changed since then.  I have learned so much about myself in the last few years.  I have stepped out of my comfort zone and started living.  I now have many friends, when in fact I havent had a close friend in over 20 years because I kept myself closed off, didnt go anywhere, didnt talk to many people and seriously felt like I wasn’t good enough to be seen as anyones friend. I am now a social butterfly with periodic moments of shyness.  I have decided to put it all out there and if someone doesnt like me for who I am………the world won’t end!!  I found that I have alot to share with people and love to do it.  Even if only a FEW people learn from me, its all worth it. The gym closes at 12 today, but I think I am going to skip it and just kick some butt tomorrow night.  Today is pig out day and a day for family.  My family is nuts, but funny. Add some wine to that and we will have a blast. I wrote a huge blog about my job offer in my gym, but it dissapeared. My initial interview with the owner was so different from what the VP told me at a later interview.  It involved a possible serious pay cut and it was in sales.  I don’t want to be stuck in sales, I want to train people as well.  I can’t help people being a salesperson.  Yeah, I can get you a gym membership, but if you quit………I am not helping you, am I?  I am going to get my ACE cert I think and just train people at one of the small private gyms in the area.  I was really dissapointed with the offer though because I would have loved to work for them, I was just led to believe it was a little more broad than it really was. I can’t afford to risk a commision based job in this crappy economy!! I hope everyone has a great turkey day!! I know this blog was all over the place, but I had alot of coffee and am in a hurry to get going.

Fine, fine…I am feeling a little evil. Art had trouble with his legs and Jodi can’t laugh cus she did some of my ab stuff with me. I can’t help it, I am getting some personal sick satisfaction out of it. I need some new victims though……..more people to torture though. 

Tonight Art and I did chest and tris.  I took him through alot of little things that we havent gone over before.  Yeah, you can just go in there and bench..big freakin deal.I see lots of guys do that and you know what?  They look the same as they did when I joined 2 years ago.  So, I introduced him to dumbbell pullovers, close grip bench, single arm crossovers, dumbbell kickbacks and skullcrushers.  We did all the other basics like flat bench, dip/press machine, tris on cables……..yep basics.  There is just so much to cover and so many exercises possible that its so much to go over. We worked out for an hour and 1/2 and I stayed after he left to do some calves.  I set the pin at 320 on donkeys and did some reps, only to notice the pin was all the way on the bottom, so I was doing the whole 400 for 20 reps.  Told you my strength was up, plus I was on a double scoop of sumperpump250. Oh, then I did some hanging leg raises to tease Jodi cus she was sore and could see me.  Im twisted that way.

I cant wait for tomorrow!!!  I love to eat!!  I bet I can gain 4lbs by the end of the day!!!!!!!!!  All that protein!!!!  My family is pretty fun as we act like kids.  Ok, I still act like a kid.  We have a 1/2 ball in the gym and when it is around, I feel the need to jump on it like a kid on a mattress.  There is something about jumping that makes me feel  like I am 5….call me kooky.  Oh, and I am way up on my protein today.  3 shakes and one was at the gym with an extra scoop.  They taste great and are like smoothies with real bananas, pineapple and strawberries.  Major calories, but who cares at this point?  Im enjoying it because after gaining a few lbs, my arms and shoulders look JACKED.  Oh, I did some shoulders last night and got 70 on each arm on the hammerstrength and 25 lb dumbbell lateral raises.  They are smoked though, but satisfied.

Hope everyone has a great turkey day! I hope everyone has someone to spend it with and something to be thankful for!!

Some newbies dont understand what bulking means. I guess my bulk is different than a mans bulk. A man who gains 50lbs of fat in the hopes of stripping it down later to find a gain of 5lbs of muscle.  I prefer a cleaner bulk myself.  At my last show I weighed 119 and last night I weighed 125 1/2.  That was quick.  My goal is at least 130.if not 135.  I bet I can be a size 3 at 130…..so no worries.

My proteins have been increased, my food portions and my carbs increased.  Some people go nuts and eat all kinds of crap, but I dont choose to go that route.  I am hoping a clean bulk will get me 5 lbs of muscle before the spring shows.  Yes, I am still going to do figure, but probably with a different organization though.  I like to get ripped, I wont lie.

Im going to go do chest and tris with art tonight.  I will post it for you later. I did abs with Jodi last night and she is hurting today………..that made me giggle.

Fern 

So, I wrote a whole blog last night and it dissapeared along with a couple others.  It was long too…………damn, my whole leg workout and some diet stuff.

legs

leg press 245

linear hack press 375

dumbell deadlifts 30 lbs

smith squats, did 85 lbs, butt to the floor for warm ups

leg extensions, 3 sets of 80, then went back later and did drop sets from 110 down to 35 lbs

seated curls 80 lbs

laying curls 70 lbs

glute isolator I think was set at 50 lbs

I visited each exercise a couple times in an hour and 1/2.  I skipped cable kickbacks, modified horizontal press, abductor and adductor machine and a couple other things.  I will add them in on my 2nd legs day.

My energy and strength was way up with my 4lb weight gain.  I am trying to get up to 130….7 lbs to go!!  I am drinking my shakes religiously and am having 1.5-2 grams of protein per lb of bodyweight….up to 245 grams of protein a day, plus adding in clean carbs. Ok, not all clean, but no junk really either.  Later I should tell you about the food in the high rollers lounge at the casino…….can you say KOBE BEEF???  So good!!!

Talk to you later 

I have been writing blogs every day and noticed none have been posted!!!  What the Hell………….??