THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

I worked out so hard today I really did feel like I was going to puke.  My shirt was soaked, back of the neck all sweaty.  I hope I am in for a hurting tomorrow.  I am trying to target the outer quads more than ever.  I got a little curve in the front as well as hams, but the quad sweep is eluding me. Instead of one heavy and one light legs day I am going to do 2 heavy legs day as I should have quite some time ago. I think I am fighting genetics at this point. You know, the ones that say "you are going to have skinny little chicken legs no matter what you do!!!""" I used to be ok with mediocrity in the past.  I was okay with blending in….until one day I was working at the phone company and walking by all the cubicles and I said ,"they are drones….I don’t want to be a drone, dont want to be just a number". I didnt know about the fitness passion in me at that time, but I did know that being "just a number" wasnt for me.  Im sure many of you feel the same way. So once again I am at a crossroad.  Dawn, the bodybuilder pro from last night asked me, "you want to do this round card thing or do you want to do figure?"  She said I can’t do both. A good figure "package" is obviously not something the round card girls are expected to have.  I have been told in figure that I should try bodybuilding or that I am not big enough……..total opposites of each other.  Yet  photographers like me because I am somewhere in between.  I don’t know what to do! 

Back to legs…hammered them….got dizzy……got hot and sweaty.  I did everything I cvould possibly do and have to force myself to leave or end up sick in a couple days.  That happened to me once.  Working out hard lowers the immune system and once I got so sick I had hallucinations from a fever.  This was years ago though.  I did my usual stuff by added in a couple extra things.  I went a few lbs heavier than normal and really cranked out the smith leg presses, knee into my armpit….full stretch baby!  I did have alot of aggression and energy and I really think it was the super rare beef I got to eat yesterday that helped me out.  Some of the best builds out there were built of beef diets.  I have asked them actually.  Its an expensive diet though and most of us dont have that kind of cash.  We are cheapo chicken eaters!! 

Thanks for all your support you have given me.  I really mean that from my heart.  I wish I had tme to email everyone personally, but I cant even catch up on my inbox here.  I try to post my most asked questions publically though.  Please know that even if I dont its probably because it went into my spam folder on my yahooand I never even saw it. I am considering changing my email for bodyspace alone so it doesnt happen anymore.  It bothers me to find a "help me please" email that I overlooked.  Please forgive me for that….Im trying.

Fern 

Let me first tell you I have had 5 shots of Jager and a couple cocktails, so I am pissed and buzzed and will try to be decent.  I bust ass 5-6 times a week in the gym…so I am proud of what I have accomplished.  My youtube videos (53 of them) have been viewed over a million times I think, I am on the front page of the biggest fitness website on the planet yet…….. apparently I cant make top 6 out of about 17 girls from CT.  Am I being bitchy?  Maybe.  From figure to round card model….I lose to "soft chicks".  Im not talking curvacous beauties, I am talking love handle soft.  There are tons of men and women who love a little muscles on a woman..millions in fact..yet when you go into a fitness type of competition, you get over looked by judges time and time again.  the public likes you, yet the judges don’t. Am I going to go back to my unhealthy saggy ass anorexic body to win?  Hell no!  Don’t listen to them ladies…….keep your muscles!  You can bounce a quarter off my ass and frankly, a guy in the bar tried it tonight………hahaaaa.  It was pretty funny. 

All that is left to say is that I am at a loss.  Seriously dissapointed because I truly am an MMA fan.  I know all the submissions, weight claases, most of the pro UFC guys by name, I love it all.  I wanted to be a part of it and am crushed in fact.   The pics and videos will be posted as soon as they are available.

On a good note, I got alot of the guys business cards, including head of market , head of sales and one of the owners himself.  I met another who knows a great modeling agent and yet another who was the MC.  I also met Dawn, a pro bodybuilding and we chatted about figure.  My friend Doug wants me to be a bodybuilder like him, but Dawn thinks I should still stay with figure and thinks I can clean house with some fine tuning.  I do love figure, but I wanted this job.  Easy money, you get to go to the fights, meet alot of people, do promos…….its what I love.  I also gave out my business cards to alot of people and make new friends.  All that is very important to me as well.  Like being on here and talking to "like minded people" with a passion for fitness and sports. 

I was asked by a couple people to do the next one, but rejection is hard on me.  I have a figure show in a couple weeks and hopefully I can suck it up and move on.  I will just try to remember if I don’t get back ON that horse, the sucker will trample me…………

Fernie 

I wasn’t going to go because I wasn’t really "due" for anything.  To be honest, I had a couple Smirnoff Ices and was feeling pretty mellow on the sofa.  I went anyway.  Its what I do….gym addicts are like that.  I a wee bit stressed about this competition.  Its like anything, you want something so bad that the thought of failing is crushing, so you avoid even trying. Lots of you eperience it in the weighloss and fitness game.  I experience the feeling in the competitions.  So why do I do it?  Like I said before…….."failing is easier than never have tried".  Even when failure is crushing, you get back up and try again…or you wake up later on and kick yourself in the ass for never having tried.   Trust me. 

Here is my self doubt list regarding this competition for USFL round card model.

1. Does my ass jiggle too much in a bikini?  Should I just wear the booty shorts?

2. Are these chicks going to be chosen because they have huge juggs?  if so……Im out.

3. Am I too old? Will the lighting there make me look like a hag?

4. Should I wear the 5 inch heels?  Or should I wear sneakers like a wuss cus legs look better in heels anyway?

5. What if no one cheers for me?  Thats a sucky thing…….I hear crickets.chirp chirp chirp

and last but not least……..

6. You have to say why you would make a good round card model.  Should I say "pick me or I will kick your ass"? or "because I actually watch the fights and I know the difference between an arm bar and a rear naked choke?" Or "because muscle chicks kick ass!"

Hmmmmmmmm? 

I just did a few shoulders exercises tonight.

presses on the smith, lateral raises, hammerstrength presses, arnold db presses, , single arm rows on cables, and I think thats it.  I tossed in some easy leg sets as well.  I soooooooooooo wanna get this over with!!!

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So I get my copy of Oxygen.  Yes, I get Oxygen and I flip it open and low and behold……….its my butt building workout !  I was like "What the Hell?"  I think it has everything I just posted in my butt building video.  AND there was a blurb on being "skinny-fat".  Are these editors reading my blogs?  HMMMMMMMMMMM?????  Just kidding, but not really. 

I trained with "new guy Art" tonight.  yes, he is my latest victim and he is probably reading this right now.  His tris were sore from Monday……yeee hah!!  We did my abs routine and I tried not to kill him and most was light or no weight.  No sense blowing out an ab or 2.

He, like most men, want to lose what they are hiding in the middle.  You guys are lucky because you can hide the "in the middle" with loose shirts.  Hiding thighs , hips and butt is more difficult for us ladies. Unless we want to wear baggy clothes.  But ladies want "style" and that doesn’t usually include baggy sweats and giant t-shirts. Even in summer guys wear those long shorts, we look like idiots in long shorts and even thicker than before. No fair..you guys suck……..

Art kept up very well.  I bet 1/2 of it is because I am a girl and somewhere in his mind and in the minds of many men, he doesn’t want to be outlifted by a girl.  You guys can’t help it, this is just the way you are.  He also told his buddies at work that he was training with me and of course they poked fun at him.  Trained by a woman?  Some dudes just need to drop the whole machismo attitude…probably the same dudes who are hiding the spare tire and talking about how much they "used to lift" and now all they lift is a 12 oz can of Budweiser.   You go studmuffins!!!  Go Go …….ya rah rah……..  come to Mama……

I think I am fun to train with frankly.  I probably talk too much sometimes, but it helps keep your mind off how much your muscles are on fire anyway.  

I watched the USFL round card girls last competition on Youtube.  Now, no one is wearing a bikini!  I was planning on wearing one and now am second guessing it.  I don’t want to be the only one.  Some women even wore workout pants.  Crap, maybe I will just wear the top and throw on some booty shorts.  I also want to wear my V cut dress for the "clubwear" round and some of them wore pants for that as well and a couple wore jeans.  When I think "club wear" I think Vegas style!  Something "banging"…like yee hah, now THATS a dress.  I’m still wearing it.  Even if I don’t get a slot, not many will forget that dress.its very cool…..and I never get to wear it out around here.  

Anywhoooooo……..long day, got spray tanned.  Not super tanned like for figure, but tan.  I forget how much I like it.  You hardly have to wear make up because it just looks good already. I was tempted to go darker, but restrained myself for the super figure tan in 2 weeks.  Yeah 2 weeks out I think , time to get on the ball !  After this show, its eating clean, full body workouts and posing practice. 

Talk to you tomorrow 

I didn’t have alot of time, but when DO I have alot of time?  I flew to the gym (my arms are tired from all the flappin as we humans don’t have hollow bones like the birdies do, so we gotta flap harder).  I combined alot of supersets to cut down workout time……such as:

Dumbbell curls with bent over single arm rows 

I curled single arms on the cable rack and combined it with lat pull downs on single arms and after that did several sets of press downs with the straight bar (short)

Barbell curls combined with bent over rows.

I also did bent over rows on the smith, seated rows, lat pulldowns and overhead rows.  I used the single arm over head hammerstrength for rows as well.

I did several sets for legs too.  Light weight 50-65 lbs of 20 reps alternating foot positions and supersetted seated curls  .

One last thing was dumbbell curls combined with shrugs and dumbbell curls combined with romainian deadlifts.

It was rather dead in the gym, so I didnt get to chat with anyone…..its nice sometimes to just blow through a workout undisturbed.   I think I have 2 and 1/2 weeks until my figure show so I really want to just do light weight and upper and lower body at every workout, not FULL upper body but legs almost every day, especially calves.  Im doing calves tomorrow with forearms…maybe abs too.

Talk to you later

Nah, I didnt train.  I took a nap.  Lately I have been super hungry and I think its because the weather is getting colder.  We New Englands tend to need to build a layer of fat to keep warm, but I am not quite ready yet.  I swear some days I could eat my own arm.  I often ask what I do to keep the hungries away.  Of course a good appetite suppresant like Cytolean helps, but I am out!! So……..I have to rely on some willpower and some not so evil snacking. You know its tough with nearly ever TV commercial showing snacks and cakes and food and new and improved friggin Doritoes. Lately I have been relying on boiled eggs in between meals as well as protein shakes.  But my food cravings are headed toward the standard comfort foods……clam chowder, mashed potatoes, alfredo noodles…………yummy………so I feel I need to get a back up at this point. Add stress to the mix and Im a goner.  It would be fine if it was a month from now, but I still have 2 shows to do before bulking. I will put 10 lbs on this winter and hopefully come out with 5 lbs of muscle by the spring shows.

I often tell people about a snacking secret "must have".  That would be gree tea with a couple splenda and some apple cinnamon rice cakes with a little peanut butter.  Lets call it the lesser of the evils and the crunchiness helps so much. I don’t think the peanut butter is so terrible.  We need some fat in our diets.  It helps keep your coat shiny and healthy……..heheee.  Seriously, it’s about balance. 

Tomorrow I am going to run to the grocery store to pick up some snack foods and some beef.  I havent had beef in ages, but some special to me sent me some cash-ola and made me promise I would spend it only on beef.  He’s so good to me and seeing as he lives 3,000 miles away, its as close as taking me to dinner as it gets right now.  I’m game…..I probably havent eaten beef in 2 months except for some el cheapo cube steaks from walmart.  Thats one step above ground beef, which, in my book, doesnt count. My arse is getting some STEAKS!!  My show (figure)  is in a few weeks and I am not doing a waterload/deplete, I am still going to do the food portion which does include a couple days of beef only on a strict schedule.  It’s true that eating well does enhance your physique, especially pre contest.  The rest of the diet for the week is chicken and rice.  It would be sweet potatoes  for a normal person , but I turn green just thinking about those damn tubers.  I still havent dusted off my suits yet.  I have to get rolling on that.  Maybe I will do some posing at the gym just to compare last time from this time.  I talked about how the posing has changed, soI need to practice.  I also don’t like doing shows this late because you get a little cold hanging out in a suit glued to your butt in november.  I’ll stop whining now, okay?  Im going to suck it up and do it, have a good time and hopefully have some new girls to add to my shelf!

I hope you had a great day.  One more thing.i was walking into the house with a full cup of cappuchino and a moth beaned off my cheek so I jerked my arm up quick, coffee spewed out, hit me in the face….holy crap I scalded my frekin face.  Plus the dog was in my way so I tripped on her!  Nice……..very nice……. 

Worked from 8-5.ok, was suposed to be there at 730.but I love my snooze button, what can I say?  After work ran home ,chatted with my little peeps and had to go meet my 1st "client" at 630..yep. got me a "client", unofficially of course.  I met him during a night out and we just started talking about the gym and he wanted to join one and improve his workouts……..so here I am. We trained chest and tris tonight and I just tried to get him used to the machines and there is just sooooooo much to do at my gym.  We have free weights, machines galore and smith machines……..like a gym freaks wet dream, ya know?  Its so much easier for me to train with someone than to stand next to them and explain things.  They get to see how I do it and it kind of goes from there.  He was feeling it……hopefullt tomorrow he will really be feeling it…..heheeeee

I then ran into a woman I hadnt seen in awhile.  She took 2 months off for the summer and is just getting back into it.   Im getting more used to talking to women.  Its weird, like we women are all scared of each other or something.  Most of us are probably great women to know. I may look like a cranky blonde snot sometimes, but really……if a friend needed me to pick her butt up at 3 am……I’d be there. I try very hard to not judge upon looks, it’s kind of an evil and narrow way of thinking. I do judge more on peoples actions than appearance, as it should be.

I also met this guy my sister went to school with the other dayand she’s like "he’s an MMA fighter", coincidentally, I love the fights and we get to talking and later he walks by and he gives me his business card………turns out he is the owner of the fight league that I am competing for the round card girl model for!!!   Hah, small world, huh?  See? it pays to be friendly to everyone. You certainly catch more flies with honey.  Anyone every here walk an octogon as a card model?  Ok, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that I have no idea how padded they might be.  I have 5 inch heels, what if its a mushy surface?  Other women wear heels, but there has to be some kind of learning curve.ya think?  I thought walking in them for figure was bad enough.  I do fine, but dannnnnnnnnng, it took me about 4 shows to get the balls to wear them. 

Oh, one last thing.  I did go to the shot girl job and apparently it was really busy the night before, but not that night.  I sat around for 3 hours being entertained by the "locals" while they watched the Red Sox.  then when someone walked in  they all cheer even though most of them don’t know who walked it.  Its was so fun!  Like Cheers.  It did help me get a little more comfortable with them and the bar.  Hopefully next week I will have someone to sell something to.  Oh well.

Yeah, I didnt talk much about working out tonight, sorry.  Honestly, its easier for me to do the videos and post them.  Im going to do a food one next, but my kitchen is a disaster as I am still in the middle of moving, so we’ll see.  I have some tips on how to take food with you and how to make it easy to pre cook everything.

Talk to you later

I put together some of my favorites, but while editing it locked up my pc………so it’s a little off.  The song wasnt cropped, but hey who doesnt like this song? 

Just a heads up to people……….There are some serious BS artists on this site!  I see other people responding to them very well……just watch watch you believe.  I have had people tell me they train competitors, know all kinds of fitness "celebrities", want me to participate in their "training" websites, want to "train me" ..blah blah blah………all BS. You go to their profiles and sometimes their pictures don’t have faces that match the body shots without heads, they claim to have trained all these pros, but how come all they have on their profiles is cheap phone pics of themselves?  I also get asked for free supplements to "tide them over" until their companies come through.  What? Do I look stupid?  I know I’m a blonde and all, but lemmee tell ya……it’s not natural (shocker!!!)and I have been blessed with an above average IQ …..so take a hike. I am also not going to endorse your supplements because I already have my Gaspari and it would be a conflict of interest for me to do so.  I will try some other products, but they are not the same type I use from Gaspari.  I am completely satisfied with them.  I have used such things as Lean1 and casein products here as well as some skin cremes and vitamins and protein bars.  I get all my workout gear here, (lifting gloves from Harbinger are fantastic! Made for women actually)  I have lifting hooks, Otomix training shoes and clothing, tanning supplies.  I should make a list actually.  Some products can be expensive and I don’t want anyone throwing their money away…….but I must say I have been pleased with pretty much everything here. Back to the "endorsements".  I get sent some workouts to endorse.  Now I work out my way and I can kind of tell what may work and what may not, but having not done it myself makes it a lie for me to say it works, doesnt it?  I can only show you what I did to get the way I am.  Hopefully you can pick apart some stuff to add to your workouts..thats all you need.  If you were training with me it would be a different story as I would be able to see you and make adjustments, but internet training is generalized at best.  Please don’t pay for a diet that someone is giving to everyone……..the SAME diet.  Everyone responds differently.  You can generalize a clean diet of course, but beyond that, its difficult. No one can hand you fitness, it comes from you mostly.  No one is going to transform you overnight on the internet.  You can get some good guidance here and on other sites though, but like I said, make sure these people know you and they are reputable.  Ask other people who leave them comments to get some references.  There is nothing more discouraging than getting ripped off or scammed.  I try my best to answer all the Gaspari questions and thats something that is important to me.  The products work and I don’t have to lie to anyone!  I have to go do legs.  This post rambled a bit, but I dont want to see anyone get scammed but some dude claiming to have "all the answers". 

Just a heads up to people……….There are some serious BS artists on this site!  I see other people responding to them very well……just watch watch you believe.  I have had people tell me they train competitors, know all kinds of fitness "celebrities", want me to participate in their "training" websites, want to "train me" ..blah blah blah………all BS. You go to their profiles and sometimes their pictures don’t have faces that match the body shots without heads, they claim to have trained all these pros, but how come all they have on their profiles is cheap phone pics of themselves?  I also get asked for free supplements to "tide them over" until their companies come through.  What? Do I look stupid?  I know I’m a blonde and all, but lemmee tell ya……it’s not natural (shocker!!!)and I have been blessed with an above average IQ …..so take a hike.

I am also not going to endorse your supplements because I already have my Gaspari and it would be a conflict of interest for me to do so.  I will try some other products, but they are not the same type I use from Gaspari.  I am completely satisfied with them.  I have used such things as Lean1 and casein products here as well as some skin cremes and vitamins and protein bars.  I get all my workout gear here, (lifting gloves from Harbinger are fantastic! Made for women actually)  I have lifting hooks, Otomix training shoes and clothing, tanning supplies.  I should make a list actually.  Some products can be expensive and I don’t want anyone throwing their money away…….but I must say I have been pleased with pretty much everything here.

Back to the "endorsements".  I get sent some workouts to endorse.  Now I work out my way and I can kind of tell what may work and what may not, but having not done it myself makes it a lie for me to say it works, doesnt it?  I can only show you what I did to get the way I am.  Hopefully you can pick apart some stuff to add to your workouts..thats all you need.  If you were training with me it would be a different story as I would be able to see you and make adjustments, but internet training is generalized at best.  Please don’t pay for a diet that someone is giving to everyone……..the SAME diet.  Everyone responds differently.  You can generalize a clean diet of course, but beyond that, its difficult.

No one can hand you fitness, it comes from you mostly.  No one is going to transform you overnight on the internet.  You can get some good guidance here and on other sites though, but like I said, make sure these people know you and they are reputable.  Ask other people who leave them comments to get some references.  There is nothing more discouraging than getting ripped off or scammed.  I try my best to answer all the Gaspari questions and thats something that is important to me.  The products work and I don’t have to lie to anyone! 

I have to go do legs.  This post rambled a bit, but I dont want to see anyone get scammed but some dude claiming to have "all the answers".