THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

Ok, you don’t have to vote for me, I won’t come kill you.  There is some serious competition, but I figured "what the Hell?" so click here if you say yes to me being up for Ironman’s Fitness model competition

http://www.bodybuilding.com/ironman_model_search_women.htm

Anywhooooooooo.went to the gym as usual and have a "meeting" about me changing my entire life over to fitness…..yes, working in a gym!!  yee hah!!  this is what I have been waiting for and this is what I love.  I cannot give all the details, but I was  recruited for it.  This is my moment to change for the better….a major step as I have been working at the same job for 8 years, but I BELONG in the gym and I can help people.  Not just look better, but be healthier, feel better, live longer and turn their lives around like what happened to me.  I truly believe that it’s like a rebirth for me.  I know, I know………you probably think I am nuts to quit my job, but I have to follow what makes me happy.  For the most part I spend my day mailing out bills and pulling charts and listening to cranky women and this is not where I want to be. Most of you have jobs like me, unfufilling.  You just go through your day looking at the clock wishing it was time to punch out. Some days I wake up and while I am walking into work think "didn’t I just friggin leave here?".  Its like groundhog day for petes sake!!!  Change is scary, but for me, has been rewarding thus far with every move I have made in the fitness world from the moment I walked into the gym for the first time. Hard work does reap rewards and not giving up does as well.  perhaps you don’t want to be as nuts as me about it, but just know that every bit of weight loss or every bit of muscle gain gets you closer to a goal…life is about goals.

I didnt get to work out except for about 20 minutes, but thats ok. I will make up for it tomorrow.   I spent most of my time talking to the owner (of all the WOW gyms)…….a whole chain and he was so easy to talk to.  So easy when you are talking about something you believe in really.  So, I will join the WOW..Work Out World team, get my personal training certification and start moving forward…….I’m so excited!! Oh and every thing new I learn I will share with you guys and as many people as possible of course. 

Oh, still haven’t moved.  The residents of my rental were supposed to be out a month ago…………their closing was pushed back……my show is on saturday, my son is coming in from San Diego, I have at least 4 shoots to book and also there is a huge fight at the Casino with the US Fight League to help find sponsors for.  I am working with the promoter, so even if I didnt get round card model……….I am involved because love it…….

Told ya, when one door closes, another opens………….or 6 open……….keep on believing…….don’t stop

Ok, no phone call or email from Mr Robert Kennedy as of yet, but there is still hope.  Tonight I went and kind of did legs and full body……..but I did concentrate more on legs.  I was not able to do certain things because upon thinking about it after I arrived, my shorts were a tad bit TOO short for bending over.  I skipped the dumbbell deadlift and the smith leg presses.  Even the foot ducked smith squats were a little tough.  I like small shorts so I can move and don’t get ride-up BUT I don’t want to give anyone a peek at my giblets, ya know?  I didnt go heavy as it’s the week of the show.  I have had 0 carbs today and no superpump250, so I had to really push through it.  It wasnt too bad, I had some energy, but not alot of strength anyway.  Besides my other leg exercises I did some dumbbell curls, hammer curls, seated rows, lat pull downs, lateral raises , seated calf raises and some bench crunches.  Tomorrow I will do a bunch of full bodyweight exercises, sort of a full cardio type workout.  I stopped to chat with "the judge".  I call him this because he is an NOC judge as was my NPC judge.  he asked when I am going to stop working out before Saturdays show. I said….."I don’t"  Cardio?  "I don’t"…….I’m a rule breaker.  He did say sweet potatoes made him grossed out just like me though!  Haha, Im carbing up on rice or white potatoes.  As far as water deplete, I am drinking more than usual, but will not pull all liquids, just limit intake to coffee.  i did this last year at this show and placed first, so I have nothing to lose I guess.  I just worry about my weight because I competed against a girl who weighed 101 lbs and today I weigh 119-120.  I weigh more than I look I guess.  Something else great happened at the gym.  I have a meeting with someone tomorrow night and it could be a big change for me as far as my future career in fitness.  I will elaborate when I have more details!!  Im so excited!!!   Also, if you do not see me on the Ironman model search yet, I entered and it takes 24 hours to be fully entered.  I don’t expect to win this one……..serious hotties, but I figured I would try anyway.  Talk to you tomorrow night!

but for some reason I do not show up in the selections.  If I dont show up soon, I am going to email admin.  Thanks for prompting me to enter.

Fern

but for some reason I do not show up in the selections.  If I dont show up soon, I am going to email admin.  Thanks for prompting me to enter.

Fern

but for some reason I do not show up in the selections.  If I dont show up soon, I am going to email admin.  Thanks for prompting me to enter.

Fern

I didnt work out all weekend and I am a week away from a show………..call me crazy.  I had to work at the fights selling T shirts last night, so I spent yesterday at home all day and today I have a wee bit of a hangover and have to empty my attic to move, so doing legs today probably is not a good idea.  It would be an unproductive vist anyway so I will do thewm heavy tomorrow night.  I must seem like a party girl or something lately, but I really don’t need to drink alot to lose my ability to drive!  There was an after party for the Us Fight League last night and thats where it all ended for me.  Please never let me drink Jagermeister again!  We (my new BFF Jodi and I)  ended up getting escorted home from a friend of a friend who works at the casino we were at.  It was kind of nice to not have to drive and he even pulled the car right up to the door because it was raining….sweet.  We had fun.

Oh and I ran into a couple male judges from the model thingy and they voted for me as well.  One guy said he even argued for me…….but apparently the women judges don’t like me much.  Now, we have discussed this stuff before………women are threatened by other women.  Here on bodyspace we are pretty damn friendly and can easily compliment each other, but in the real world, the claws come out.  Perhaps they should have a one on one interview for the women first in these kinds of things.  I find that women will give me dirty looks, but once I talk to them or get to know them, things are different.  Appearance though can make you or break you. Like, what if all the  judges prefer dark haired women in a contest?  What if they all like curvy women? Obviously, I dont fit either criteria.  I am not saying thats what happened to me, but competing is hard because you do tend to walk away wondering why you were not chosen and do not always get to speak to judges.  Not that it matters, but I had 3 (that I met)out of the 7 tell me they voted for me and it makes me feel a little better honestly.  I was feeling kind of unwanted…..yep, we all get insecure.

So ladies, even if I say this a million times (and I say it for myself) if you like the way you look don’t think there is anything wrong with you if someone else doesnt. Not winning any competition is hard, yet humbling.

Im having a panic attack!  I just got an email from a guy on myspace who wanted my contacts, email and phone number for……….Robert Kennedy……you know Musclemag and Oxygen magazine guy.  He said Robert wanted him to look me up because he got an email about me. Thats nuts….me?  Now I am going to be walking around with my cell glued to my hand so I don’t miss a call if it’s real….i think it’s real though.  I checked the guys space and he is a photoeditor…..Im not that gullible, I check stuff out as much as possible. 

Ill get back to you later, hopefully with some good news.  I have to go do some chest and tris.  they are bored.

How many dudes am I going to train with that say the NEVER do forearms?  Whats up with that?  Ok, Im going to have a perverted moment and suggest that men may PERHAPS be working their forearms in a more private manner, is that it?  Anyway, we did forearms tonight.  Its one of the best all time, holy crap this hurts bodypart to work.  We do behind the back curls, raises in front, hanging wrist curls and hammercurls.  One after another and lemmee tell you……it burns like a mutha (insert expletive here).  Same with the calves really, it is just an area that burns unlike other areas.  maybe its the complexity of all the muscles in the forearms, so many I cant even remember all their names.    For calves we did seated calf raises, donkey raises and a couple different slide machines.  Also chin ups and dips.  Its really easy to supersets calves and forearms though because there isnt much set up time in between.  If you are using mostly barbells and dumbells , there isnt much to "set up" as far as forearms and calves are mostly quick machines.  I also don’t get why some people don’t work them cus then you are just going to look weird with nice round bi’s an underdeveloped forearms like lil sticks.

Tomorrow night I am going in for some "dress rehearsals" for my show next week.  I havent put on any of my suits in quite some time and with a little more size than usual, have to make sure they still fit.   At this point, if they don’t, the judges are going to see a little more butt from me than in the past. A bigger butt could mean some glue detaching and ass cheek exposure in a tight suit.  I have seen this ladies, one ass cheek saying hello during a back pose………like having a booger hanging out while talking to a cutie………NOT good.

Oh, sweet news…….made those great connections after my competition fiasco and am going to help a guy out with the female side of his clothing line !……awesome name, cant wait to see the logo and stuff.  It’s fightwear t’s and booty shorts, cool name but don’t know if he wants it public yet.  I want to talk to him about getting us ladies some decent workout shorts that are short enough not to ride up and give you "cameltoe" but long enough so you can bend over without exposing the buttocks.  Kind of like guys fight shorts, but they have to fit right.  I hate squatting and getting rideup!  Also, I am selling t-shirts at the fights for the USFL.  Fine, Im not theit model, but hey, I get to watch and meet some people…its all good.  I was contacted by combat evolution out of Maine and they have a bunch of fighters coming down and I am going to meet them all and take some pics.  They asked me to sit ringside, but I am selling shirts to make money.  Hopefully I get a chance to run over and watch close up and be "one of the guys"..im a tomboy, what can I say?  Before I got the shirt job, they invited me to walk in with them and be part of the corner team.  I was so excited!    It means so much for me to just meet all kinds of people.  Crap, I will talk to anyone now, its addicting.  I suppose having not spoken much for 30 something years finally caught up with me and now I have alot to say!  Even in the gym, im like "waddup dude??!!!!" across the gym.  I wont say I dont get moody, but honestly, being bright and cheerful is so much more fun. 

I took a medical course yesterday and will blog on what it was about more tomorrow.  I learned so many interesting things about belly fat, stress, disease, lack of sleep and the effects of it all on the human body.  Its not good of course, but will really make you think…’My Gawd, thats so true".  Id write it tonight because I am jacked on endorphins, but I think if you have read all this so far, you read enough!!

I have more……..but I have to grab some dinner.  If you want to see who won, go to

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=336173045&albumId=1133691

Im going to compete next time, probably in a few times.  Im pretty hard to get rid of……..hahaaaaaaaaaaa

yes, latelt I feel like a house of cards.  You know, you build it, work so freakin hard on it yet it only takes one slight breeze and the sucker blows down……..can you relate?  Competing is like a house of cards.  You get so proud cus the house is getting up there and the…..swoooooosssssssshhhhhhhhh…it all falls down.  After my defeat on Saturday I am presently rebuilding to do it all again in 2 weeks for figure.  I am competing in 3 classes, so I have hope that one day I am going to complete my house without it falling down.  There are several ways to take "failure" and yes, I get pissed, I get defeated, I want to quit…..but I don’t quit.  I often get indignant and use the failure to come back and bring something better to the stage in the hopes of saying, "in your face" to whomever gave me poor marks or whomever may have said I need to improve something. Once some woman gave me a rationg of crap about me needing bigger shoulders, blah blah, so I was like "Beotch, I’ll show you shoulders" and so I went into the gym and built them up.   Lots of people get bad comments now and again here, but use it to fuel you, not break you down.  

Tonight I worked out with Art and did back and bi’s.  There are so many things you can superset while doing back and bis!!  I love them.  For instance, we did dumbbell curls and them drop down lean over and start doing single arm rows.  You are burning back and forth between exercises and keeping a faster pace of course.  No chatting, just lifting, over and over.   Same with pull down on the rack rotating with cable curls.  We also did barbell curls alternating shrugs with dumbbells.  I cant really superset with the machines as much because there are not many machines for back and bis close to each other.  I have been going earlier than normal, so its a little crowded. Not so easy to run over and run back from one to another if some dude is using it.  I am constantly looking for my next machine..my next target. 

Tomorrow is going to be calves, forearms and a few sets of heavier legs.  I swear my hams and still so tight from sunday and it still hurts to sit down.  I went super deep on my leg presses and did so many dumbbell deadlifts that my hams are fried.  I was a little dissapointed and my quads dont hurt much though. To me this means I am selling them short. So dissapointed in myself!!!!!!!!

Wait until tomorrow night!!!!