THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

Are we selfish, self centered, solitary? yes, I suppose we are a bit. I see it this way, if I wasn’t in the gym……I would be laying on the sofa watching Tv.  I have kids, but honestly, when I am home they are in the other room goofing off and I am in the in the living room alone.  Tonight I am drinking a nice wine called Chadsford.  I have recently been turned onto wine because I don’t like regular alcohol much and it isnt good for muscles to drink much anyway.

Sooooooooooo……….Tonight I did legs.  sadly, not heavy because of my left knee.  I suppose I will have to be happy with my leg size as is for the most part.  I mean….what the Hell…..why are we so damn hard on ourselves?  I’m natural, it’s genetics and what is it really going to get me in the long run?  Besides, my favorite American Eagle jeans will be too tight and then I will be bitching about that!!!

So I did,

Glutes on cables 80 lbs…..6 sets, 3 with the bench 3 standing at 50 lbs

Leg extensions 80 lbs 4 sets

seated curls 65 lb burnouts…….thats at about 25-30 reps 3 sets

Holy crap I think I am drunk…………..all warm and fuzzy on a thursday night

laying leg curls 70 lbs

plate squats 35;s in each hand

started romanian deadlifts again with the free bar 85 lbs, 3 sets

squats on smith, deep and to the floor 4 sets of ten at 85 lbs

linear hack press 225 20 reps for 2 sets……. added 2 more 45’s and did an additional 20 reps holding all muscles tight and controlled……slow and calculated…….ahhhhhh……..sweet

I did some seated calf raises at 175 or so, 2 45’s 2 25’s plus the ’sled or seat weight’ 3 sets

I think thats is…oh except for the adductor/abductor of course.  cant forget ther inner and outer thighs!!!  And THIS is NOT a chick machine.  Guys need it too.

I gotta go………….PEACE!

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YEP, It was back night.  Im kinda switching things around, but will go back to my normal 5 day split this fall.  Right now I am kind of puttering and trying to maintain size.  You know I am akways crabbing about my leg size, so I don’t want a bigger upper body.  Also, I do get some comments about my bitching, but let me just say…..it all stays right here.  This is sorta my diary and once I write it down, these crazy thoughts and doubts in my head go away.  Everybody has doubts and pissy days, the only difference is……….they don’t say it out loud, they don’t let it out and they are the people who shoot up a post office and kill a bunch of people.  Isn’t the psycho who does that always rememebered as "the quiet one"  or "he was a quiet boy". ???  If I was going to sit here every day and be like some annoying cheerleader……..would that be better? Probably not.  You see those people and you think they are sooooooooooo freakin happy, then it turns out hubby is a cheating gambling womanizing alcoholic and Ms Cheerleader is a closet coke head who beats her kids when she’s on a coke binge.  Thats why people watch Montel or Dr.Phil..to not feel like their lives are so bad in comparison.

I digress……….

Back night..one of my favs.

seated rows 80

dumbbell shrugs 35’s

delt flies, arms bent at the padding……..just 50 but mass reps

press downs on cables with short bar 100lbs

single arm cable pulldowns targeting lats 100 per arm

hammerstrength overhead rows 50 per arm

I tossed in sets on donkey calf raises.  meanjoe gave me some calf blasting tips!  pull ups (not too many as my anterior delts are toasted from yesterday.  I feel like tenderized beef) and some 25 lb hammercurls. Im up to about 118, 119…….so I have softened up a bit from my 112 I was a few weeks ago.  I like it!  Winter is coming and I am already freezing my butt off being lean…..and its not even Fall yet!  Also competing in Fall sucks because you are standing backstage with goosebumps and frozen toes.NOT looking forward to that!!

Talk to you tomorrow.  I am doing legs early because I have stuff to do this weekend, so I may not make it to the gym. I also am going to try to get a job at the gym on saturdays at the front desk for extra money and a free gym membership.  i figure I can study my personal training and meet some new people as well. 

WAIF ME…..98 lbs vs NEW ME

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So here is the dilemma….when to slow down, when to stop going heavier, bigger, more cut.  For a man this isn’t so hard….THEY keep going. For a woman……..not so easy.  Let me share my gym story from tonight.

I’m back there benching with all my regular dudes who now chat with me.  I think it’s because I finally took off my headphones and crap, its been 2 freakin years now.  Anyway, I’m standing there and this woman is with her child and she is cute, but nothing sensational in the fitness department, just normal I guess you could say.  So, they start in with one guy saying thats Tammy or whatever her name is…she’s a 7th grade teacher.  And they are oohing and ahhing about her and then start joking about me being “one of the guys”. And in my head I am going back to the days where boys didn’t see me, they saw right through me….cus I had a boy body and didnt wear a crapload of makeup (ok, until I got into heavy metal that is!!) I don’t want to date these guys, but it did make me wonder if perhaps I was somehow taking myself out of the “female” category.  I’m not getting into shape or working out to get dates, it makes me feel good…..BUT on the other end of the spectrum……I want to look like a girl of course. I went to Walmart today and wore a long feminine summer dress with butterflies on it, hair in a bun and heels..and people smiled at me.  If I go there in a tank top and jeans…..people avoid me and don’t look me in the eye.   Why do we have to be one way or the other?  Why can’t we be seen as both feminine and a hard ass?  Women want to be fit, but society is very hard on us.  Weak looking women you can blow away like a candle flame on a birthday cake are held in high regard in fashion and magazines. I’m so not a femi nazi…men can open the door for me, I don’t care.    I just don’t want to put myself in a “freak” category even though I am doing what makes me happy.BUT……….. I did get a spot and benched 170 lbs for like 6 or 8 reps!!  Yee hah!! I did a little more chest tonight and some abs as well. I will hit 200 lbs this winter!!!  I will bench 4 45lb plates……..i will!!!

I, like most everyone else here, have some personal demons and am sometimes insecure about my looks.thats why we are here…to change. Perhaps thats a good thing, it keeps us humble. I suppose I will reach my point of slowing down sometime in the future, but for now……..I love lifting.

Please have patience.  Introducing anything new into your system is bound to have some effects that may worry you.  This is normL IN THE ADJUSTMENT PERIOD. Most complaints include stomach and gastrointestonal distress or " crapping your brains out". Some people report water retention, but most don’t.  I never had a problem with water retention while using creatine….PMS maybe, creatine…………nope. Also if you are having trouble, you can use 1/2 the dose and take a little food before hand.  Even with added protein you may get some problems until you adjust, whether it be from food or shakes. I do not use milk in my shakes because Gasparis intrapro is so thick and creamy, it takes good with water and there is less cals and fat. I used to drink one before the gym but found that I got too "sloshy" and bloated to workout.  I take on after though.

As for creatine.  I use SizeOn and Superpump250.  With both you should be drinking adequate amounts of water to flush your kidneys.  Creatine will pull water from your system and into your muscles, so you pumps and strength are increased and you have more endurance to bang out the additional reps you need to build more muscle. It has never let me down and you may notice and increase in strength, but let me tell you, when you cycle off……..you notice a DECREASE in strength.  You will wonder why everyone isnt taking advantage of it.

 I am working out to be healthy so pushing crap products is not my deal because I dont use crap products. I’d look like a freakin idiot if I did and its my reputation of honesty that would suffer. There ARE many good products out there and I have tried some others and even liked some others. I have to take the high road and never slam another company, but will try and let you know what seems to work and what doesn’t.  If you are not sure, head over to the forums and get some reviews before you select something.  What works for someone else may not work for you..so choose wisely.

Can’t afford the "good stuff?".  Like my article says, go to Walmart if you have to. BB.com does have super low prices and sales all the time.  Better to have a bit of a lesser product than nothing!  Its like gas………..high grade and regular…same concept.  Or maybe if you are a drinker, like well vodka and Grey Goose…….get my drift?

Just remember you are asking alot of your body and you have to fuel it properly or its going to fail you.  You want to be healthy and have muscle, not scrawney and sickly. 

I have the day off of work because I just didnt feel like working……..Ill be around later 

Hey peeps!  I had an awesome workout!  My numbers are good, energy was through the roof.  Yeah I had superpump 250 to help me through….but whatever it takes!!! 

I didnt do all my sets because I am going for a little growth so I am limiting my exercises and then will pick them up at my next workout.  So tonight I did:

Dumbbell flies/press 35 each arm

flat bench 135

chest on cables 60 each arm

low cables 15’s for crossovers

decline press ( I use the situp bench under the smith) 135 lbs

tricep kickbacks 15

tricep dumbbell extension 20 per arm

skullcrushes 40 lb ez bar

tri press downs with the rope 100 lbs

I think that was it today.  I have also been working on my pull ups.  They are harder than chinups, which I also do at every gym visit and am proudly up to 20!  Ok, with fresh arms.  After and during a workout I can only get 10-12. Pull ups I can get 10 solid. Not as easy as it sounds!   I did some bench dips as well.

I think thats about it.  I don’t know the reason for my sudden rush of energy, but like anything I suppose we all have our moments.  You feel a little discouraged for a while, but we bounce back!!!  Tomorrow I am going in there and killing some back. 

Talk to you then

I will try to upload them, but they were from a phone, so we will see if it works.  I think they may be tiny.  I am going to post them simply because they are terrible. I cannot believe I thought if I got skinnier, I would look better.  I, in fact, had no curves at all…………damn……….we women are idiots……………hhaaaa….

Ok, there is a problem with the formatting on the other pics, so this is all I have right now.  I will try to fix the others. The big pic is probably a decent pic of my butt, BUT I was pretty much a puddle of mush and bones. Im sure if you grabbed my arm, you’d feel the bone. The other pic, albeit small are more what it was really like to be skinny/fat. Lets just say I probably ate once a day back then and never before 1pm. 

Later

Sorry for being a little melancholy lately. We are human

Yesterday morning I did all shoulders.  I am sore as crap………

Arnold dumbbell presses 30 lbs

shoulder presses on the smith 105

upright rows on smith I kept at 75 and mass repped.  These BURN

hammerstrength 60 each arm

Lateral raises I think I went up to 25, but keep in mind that with the heavier dumbbells, I am using a bent elbow and a wide stance.  These put less pressure on the elbow and I could never raise that much weight without a bent elbow.  This also slams your traps, trust me, you will feel it later!

I also do what I refer to as endurance training with shoulders.  I take 5lb dumbbells and hold them out fully horizontal and just keep them there until I can no longer stand it. Its kind of just a test of strength for me.  A little self torture…….heheeeeeee

I went to a man’s 90th birthday last night.  Brought tears to my eyes………..this man has so many stories to tell and has a heart of gold. I was truly touched.  Married over 60 years, was in the war, built his own house, just an awesome person……..Happy 90th Birthday Tom

Happy Sunday

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On my way out I think.  Going out with my sister.  I say I think because anything I do with her is always iffy at best.  I did legs today.  Light, not much to discuss. I will blog more tomorrow but figured I would leave you with this beautiful song……………touches my heart, hope it touches yours.

Photos are deceiving!  I get comments calling me huge and ripped and honestly, what do I have to do to make people realize Im freakin tiny? I am 5′3", 116lbs soaking wet at present and muscle weighs more than fat, so that makes me even tinier. Adela Garcia looked jacked, but I saw her in person..she is 5′1" and competes at 105 lbs, yet looks so much bigger than me.  Its all body composition and genetics as well as camera angles when it comes to modeling.  As for the stage,I have a personal issue with my competition weight, losing to a tiny 101 lb girl without muscles and I was weighing in at 114 and very lean.  All I could think was ," If I get any skinnier and drop more weight, I will just get more ripped and there is no way I am ever going to be 101 lbs again!"  But, the numbers haunt us all I suppose.  I want to do an NPC in October and I am not even going to diet this time.  What is the point?  Chances are I will be standing next to a woman more jacked who will beat me or a woman less jacked with no shoulders who will beat me as well. I just like competing…….I miss it and haven’t since June 14th, 2 months ago…seems like years!!

There is a fine line between feeling confidant about your body and feeling like you need to do more.  Fitness is addicting and at some point you are going to say, "I like my size and will just maintain what I have".  I’m pretty much there I guess. No one likes absolutely everything about their body though.  We’ve always got some part of us that we feel "needs work".  Ok, maybe porn stars feel 100% confidant……….who knows? Not that I am a purveyor of porn, but dang, to let people see you all naked in the bright lights doing the deed must take some serious gonads.  No kidding!  There was an article is some mens magazine at work (we pulled it from the rack, too racy) about men married to porn stars……….it was weird.

Tonight I did abs and threw in some calves.  I did kneeling cable crunches 140 lbs, serratus crunches on cables 110lbs, cable side bends 90lbs, incline situps with a 25 lb plate and hanging leg raises with a 15lb dumbbell between my feet. I supersetted with the donkey calf machine at 300 lbs about 25 reps per set.  Those suckers wont GROW!  What does a girl gotta do?  Any more weight and I  think my ankle tendons may break apart. Please know that even if some of you hate your bodies, this chickie is looking at your nice round calves with jealousy! I suppose we always want what is hardest for us to get!!!! 

Hope you had a great day and thanks for listening to my crazy ramblings. I really do wish all of you the best and for everyone to feel happy with the way they look…….curvy, lean, muscular, whatever you wish.

I get oodles of questions about diets.  I know it’s really confusing at first..macros, micros, carbs, protein, ratios………oh and calories…………

Go back to basics!!!  If it has gravy on it, if it comes out of a box and you just add water, if it is purchased in a convenience store or if it comes frozen and pre made………………you should probably avoid it.

Eating clean involves eating plain foods quite often.  Baked meats, like fish ,lean beef and poultry.  Canned tuna is on the list, though not more than 3 cans.  I get a little freaky about mercury in the brain stories.

Whole grains like whole wheat pasta, brown rice, oatmeal and Quinoa……..or even cous cous. 

 Veggies like broccoli, green beans, spinach and asparagus. Also salads

Fruits are best if they are the ‘less sweet’ fruits including bananas, apples, melon………sometimes grapes and strawberries or cherries have a higher sugar content.

Nuts, mostly almonds, unsalted.  Cashews are good as well as walnuts, have protein, just watch the oily salty ones.  I do limit my salt and hardly use table salt anymore.

Eggs………mostly boiled.  Do I eat the yolks?  Yes I do.  If I eat 4 eggs I sometimes eat 2 of the yolks

I have dairy like cottage cheese and cream in my coffee.  I am HUMAN.   I have dressing on my salads, not a ton, mostly cesaer and sometimes I sprinkle shredded cheese on it.

Cheating………….this doesnt mean you can eat a whole cake.  this means you can go out and have what everyone else is having.  A burger, some fries………its one day……..live a little.  it helps restart your metabolism anyway. Sometimes I have a bunch of boiled potatoes (I cant believe its not butter spray) or regular pasta with sauce. 

Rule of thumb 1 grams of protein per lb of bodyweight daily for maintenance. 1.5-2 grams for muscle building. 

Low fat………self explanatory

Carbs………..they are confusing.  I go for under 100 grams regularly, when competing…..under 50 for about 4 days , a day to a day and 1/2 without (you get sleepy as this affects brain function and energy levels) and then do a nice 300 grams or so carb up for one day.  This is carb cycling for me. 

Did I forget anything?  Most of us do not require as much as we eat or what is served to us in a restuarant.  6 fist sized meals is said to be best.  Anything more, you will not digest and will be wasted and turned into fat stores.  I try not to have carbs after 6-7 pm because I dont need energy that late anyway………..its going to go to my thighs and ass when I sleep……………….not a girls dream.

Any questions just ask.  I probably missed something!