THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

Belive it or not I was thinking about skipping the gym tonight.  I have not been sleeping very well lately and was kind of comfy on the sofa..but YES, I dragged my butt there anyway. It was kind of dead as usual.  I started off with abs:

incline situps 2 sets of 15 with a 25 lb plate and 3 sets of 20 with no additional weight.

hangting leg raises

bench crunches

seated crunch machine 80 lbs 2 sets of 15

kneeling cable crunches started with 80lbs and went up to 110.  i did about 20 per set until the end when i did 2 or 3 sets of 25 or something like that.  Hard to keep track cus I was singing.

I also did, serratus crunches on cables 90lbs per arm, assisted pull ups (CHANGED UP HAND PLACEMENT)and dips, unassisted dips, , unassisted chin ups, and roman chair. AND lateral raises and some curls for a pump.

Oh and some legs and calves.  Several sets of leg extensions 80lbs, seated curls 65 or 80 I forgot, horizontal leg press 140lbs, leg press (nautilus) deep presses to stretch my tendons in my knee, deep (butt to the floor) squats on smith 105 lbs changed up foot placements to go deeper. seated calf raises and donkey calf raises.  I think thats it!  it was humid in there and I was kinda sweaty for once.  Im not big on the sweaty thing….i hate that sweaty upper lip deal….gross.

I posted some new pics, but I have to change the file size as he sent me huge ones that won’t post.  One of them is going to be a graphic art piece with a background when he finishes it. He said if I want to shoot again, call him anytime. I do love the single light shots the best, they show the best muscle.

i have purposely been "junking up" my diet so I can get back to eating clean and having more effect.  Talk to ya tomorrow………going to watch a movie 

Good Gawd, some guys can TALK a blue streak. I was trying to work out and there is this guy who just started talking to me, but not just talking, it’s like everytime I started a set and got into the "groove" with my headphones, I would catch his lips moving at me!  Then he would go into long conversations and it turns out he knows my realtor and they go to another gym together, so he had to discuss that, which led to other things.  I was ready to enlist one of the other guys to pretend they were my boyfriend and cut in.  I was kind of trying to cut him off, but he just kept coming back……I can’t be mean and say "get the Fu*k away from me", but damn, what can I do?

My weight is back up to 121 and my pants fit again!! woo hoo!  I think I got down to 114-116.  I love the definition when you get like that, but losing size is a bummer….cool to be lean in a bikini, not cool to be lean in scrubs or jeans…….like a case of "no-ass-itis". I had to sit on the floor and wait for the athletes meeting and let me tell you, sitting with not much of a butt is a bad thing.

I’m pretty sore in the pecs today.  My tris are not bad at all and that suprises me. Tomorrow I am going to do some light legs, calves and maybe shoulders.  Saturday will be abs and lats and serratus. Sunday, heavy legs day. I’m trying to target my weak areas more now.  I think I can kind of skate on what I have for most other parts. I’ll still work them of course, but not as heavy. 

Tonight is a night off.  I will be bored of course, so that means falling asleep on the sofa because I only have basic cable and there is NOTHING on. I did get a BB posing video, so maybe I will watch it and start thinking about a routine.  Later!

Depleting takes alot out of you and you don’t notice how much you are shrinking and losing stamina.  I thought I was doing pretty good and still lifting decent,m but I am wiped out and sore from last nights back and bi’s….not so much bi’s but my erectors are smoked and my shoulders are a little toasted and I didnt even target shoulders.  Tonight I did chest and tris and sort of rambled around the gym.  Oh and last night I did some legs and my hips feel like I have been doing splits all day.  So, for chest and tris I did some :

dumbbell kickbacks 15lbs

dips

chest/tri dip machine 60lbs

close handed bench 75 on smith

press down with the 2 handed rope on cables 80lbs

lying extensions with the 15 lb dumbbells

CHEST:

pec flies 85lbs

single arm crossovers on cables 70 each arm and crossovers on the low cables in between

bench press (flat) 125

incline bench 125

dumbbell presses 30 lb each arm

and some upright chest/shoulder presses on the hammerstrength machine . This machine is stiff, so i stick to about 30 on each arm.

I think thats it,,,,,,,,,,I also did some calves   seated raises and calf slide machine.  Nothing serious, just want to get to the calves 3-4 times a week.  I am finally getting some, but it is slow going.  i had to lean forward on my poses to get them to pop.  A bodyspace member noticed I was on my tippy toes in my back shot, even with 5 inch heels…..ooops. 

Even if I decide to never again do a figure show, I will still continue to train like I do.  I love the way the pro’s look.  Mostly Monica Brant, Amanda Jo Savell and Gina Aliotti of course.  Oh, lets no discount Michelle flake with her glute/ ham tie in to die for….plus she has 3 kids! 

You see, my brain doesnt know i AM GOING TO BE 40. I kind of led a closed up life, so I have alot of catching up to do!!  I never expected to "to go pro" of course but I do want a national status, so perhaps I will decide to do masters national next summer 35 and 40 +. I think doing a big show would be both exciting and nerve wracking, but it has to be a huge rush!

Talk to you later

Just a quick sec then I have to go to work…that sucks. People have alot to say about posing, but please know the NPC standards of posing are more rigid than others. You are sucking in the belly, you have your arm way back or straight on your side and you are wondering the whole time if the judges can see your glutes and hams from the side. It was mentioned to me that perhaps I was too rigid in my posing.  I will post some pics when I get a minute to show you, but the pics suck and are super blurry. Other organizations are more lax on this and if all of you are not posing the way they want or the way the other women next to you are, you may be marked down. Trunk twisting is not allowed in pre judging for the NPC.  Sure, it makes you look like a goober, but  is what it is…..rules.

Musclemania, OCB and INBF and probably some of the smaller organizations all allow it unless the specify at the athletes meeting what they want. This usually occurs right after check in in the morning.

Oh, and I am well aware I need to smile bigger, I did notice that one. Too bad we dont notice it before we see our photos…..then you see yourself looking like a dork.  All things to take back with me should I decide to do it again in the future. I had told the promoter of the OCB show here in CT that I would do his show, but its in September, so I have alot of time to decide.

Okay, I do things my way because I have tried many different things.  What works for one person may not work for another and it doesnt hurt to do your homework. I did not have a trainer, so I had to rely on videos from Charles Glass and some things I have seen on the Fit Show as well as Muscle & Fitness Magazine. I try to find what you can do minimally that seems to work. Meaning, to stop torturing yourself with useless exercises that make you work your ass off for minimal results. How do I know this?  because I have tried everything out there pretty much.  Some things hurt your back or neck, so I stopped doing them.  some things were difficult or awkward, so I had to modify them to suit my needs. We also usually all have a "gifted" area.  this mean that the check with the best calves, probably hardly worked them in her life. AND the chicks with the best calves are usually women who used to be "heavy".  Those calves have had years of walking up the stairs carry9ing alot more weight than some of us little chicks have.  I was only larger when I was pregnant and in that, only VERY large in the last 3 months. This included severe ankle edema mind you…and toes like sausages. My good areas are my abs ,back and pecs and perhaps my bi’s.  I really need to target my quads, hams and calves as well as the height of my delts.  Im not sure the delts are going to grow that much as I am missing a piece of one on my left and I have high collar bones that seem to be "in the way".  i blew out my ankle and achillies tendon and couldnt do calves for months, so they are behind the rest of me.  As for quads, those are large muscles and they need time of course….This means these areas will be done 2x per week now up until september when I need to start cutting for a bodybuilding attempt…………so SCARED! 

I am perfectly willing to share what has worked for me…but I have gotten some harsh opinions from people in the past and I dont find that fair. I have never gone to anyones site and told them what they were doing was "wrong". It isnt wrong if it works for you!  

This shoot lasted over 3 hours, but it was pretty fun to do. I wore my white dress and he is going to turn me into some roman goddess with a sword.  How cool is that? I also did the traditional bikini shots, a little bustier thingy, some shots for the Gaspari website for the new t shirts and some with shorts and that really cool red top with the rings in the back.  I do have to admit I am a little self concious about my lack of busoms, but I decided to do some implied nudes as well.  No, I am not going to post them!  I don’t think there is anything wrong with nudes as long as they dont look like porn.  I love the strong, artistic nudes that make you look like a Greek statue. Ok, I don’t look like that, but hopefully someday. I promise never to post a shot that looks like I am ready to take a suppository…thats just gross….hehe

I’m finally going to the gym tonight.  I am super excited and it will be like seeing an old friend.  Back and bi’s I think with a little bit of legs tossed in for fun.  Someone posted some stage shots of my show, but they were a little washed out and the angle was not good on me.  I did post one close up in my gallery that I liked though.  I think it’s because I am not liking my 2 piece much.  Something about the angle makes me look weird and I’m thinking the top is too small, looks like 2 little triangles lost in the middle of my chest.  EWWWW.  My 1 piece hides my ribs.

Anyway, this guy wants to shoot with me again, so perhaps in a couple weeks.  I didnt get any copies yet, but he is going to throw them on a disk.  I am getting better.  Posing isnt easy and you think a pose looks good, until you see it just made you look constipated.  I think this is my 6th shoot so far.  He is also willing to shoot my daughter, so hopefully it will get her back in the gym and making an effort to be more fit.

Anyhooooooooo….love you guys!!! 

Don’t misunderstand please!  I’m just on the negative figure train!  Part of the problem is the girl who beat me was about 15 lbs lighter and didnt have muscles.  I cannot go backwards.  Then in the other show (same day combo platter) I placed 3rd and a woman with more muscle than her and I put together beat both of us. Does that make sense? My brain is just having trouble sorting it out.  I’m really just a little muscle chick and kind of feel like I am caught in between. There is no way I can ever get to be 101lbs again, nor do I want to. If I come in with as much bodyfat as she did, I will be back up to 128 and look like a giant.  I can’t compete with that. Then I look at who won in the Atlantic states and they all have muscles!!  It messes with your mind!!

As for female bodybuilding, as soon as that comes out of your mouth people say "aww, don’t go getting all big and manly".  Bodybuilding has nothing to do with being big and manly to me.  Look at BBDiesel. She looks great, took in 3 trophies this weekend and is 128 lbs! Go woman go!!  AND it isn’t about the trophies, it’s about the advancement. I want to be able to do a national show, thats no secret. Why would they pick a girl like that to advance to nationals where she would most certainly be slaughtered? Maybe I am just feeling like I am losing time, like the clock is ticking?  Maybe I should be looking at it as enjoying the ride and not the destination? Hm? I need to kick my own ass sometimes, no doubt about it.

I have another photoshoot tomorrow.  A 4 hour shoot! Damn, thats going to be like work.  I haven’t been to the gym in 3 days, feeling lost.

I do want to give bodybuilding a try. I want to find a song that really means something, for it to be a form of self expression and to perhaps change minds as to what a ‘female bodybuilder’ looks like. Maybe someone will say, "wow, she’s 40 and a mom and she’s up there and looking pretty damn good" and maybe they will decide they want to do something for themselves that makes them feel good, makes them realize it is not TOO LATE. 

I will keep going. I’m doing what I love and doing what more often than not makes me feel good. Thats what is imp-ortant…..

tHANK ALL OF YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE HELPED ME BE.

I went on my myspace page to check my mail.  I dont go there much and accidently clicked on my own profile instead of my home page and suddenly see my song is called Strength by Skid Row.  I DID NOT choose this song!  I did not go to their page and even look for a song.  Listen to the words to it.  I was thinking of quitting figure because of last nights show.  www.myspace.com/blondtemptress1    ITS KIND OF A LOVE SONG, BUT IT SAYS “Give me love, give me strength,give me hope….” Its a remake of an old song and I dont know who sings the origional.  Is it a sign? I swear the God I wanted to cry when I heard it.  I was feeling so down  and now this.  I don’t know what to make of it. What would you think if it happened to you?  Would you get freaked out?  Would you think it was a sign to keep trying, keep strong?  I know it sounds corny and all, but it is soooooo strange. Help me think straight please!!

I was dissapointed in my placing.  last show I lost to jacked chicks and at least the jacked chicks had something more than me.  I got a couple pics above of my conditioning after the show and a crappy stage pic my daughter took.  I tried to fix them a little but it didnt help much.  I lost to a 101 lb peanut without muscles!  Whats up with that?  She has no lats and here we are on bodyspace trying to BUILD muscles to compete. Sooooo, I met a bunch of new people and was told I looked great on stage, that was the good part.   

I know you ladies are so worried that you are going to look bad, but you really should at least try. I busted my ass 5 days a week to build lats, delts and get my outer quad sweep and it didnt do jack for me…..I get wiped out by a girl with no taper and no delts and a gluteal fold.

I was talking to my bodybuilder friend and a couple other guys there and they all think I should give bodybuilding a try. I can’t obviously go backwards to win a state competition, so this seems to be the next logical thing for me.  This does not mean getting huge as lightweight goes up to 125. Steve says I can bring a little “sexy” back to female bodybuilding and dispel the myth that female bodybuilders have to be BIG.  My friend Doug says he is willing to train me in a routine.  Its too frustrating for me to try to get ahead and keep getting knocked in different directions. Too lean, not lean enough, too much muscle, not enough muscle…….know what I mean?

I really like figure too, just not the subjective judging that goes along with it. I may try to do masters Nationals next year  though.  Its figure but the women look a little more like me.  I did get lots of cheers and applause though!!!!!  Woo hoo, I even got more than one chick who was pretty muscular.  I thought she would be crowd favorite.  I got a video, but of course my daughter screwed that up to.  Its so washed out, you cant see us.  I will try to edit it, but I look like a white blur.  She also missed pre judging!!!!  Thats my favorite part! 

Well, I am tired and greasy, so I am going to bed.

I managed to get a nap in today and was really good with my water intake, but switched to white potatoes because my rice didnt do much, my cous cous didnt do much.  Also I added a scoop of Superpump to a couple oz of water and BAM! found my pump! I had to buy some workout bands because some dumbass stole my dumbbell at the last show I did.  i did get lots of funny looks, but then I just tell myself that I am  making myself happy, so if that entails looking like a freak..then so be it.  think about it…….how many people do you really have to impress in your daily life and how many people are you going to see again?  I sit home and my phone isn’t exactly ringing off the hook, so most people (EXCEPT MY BEST FRIENDS HERE) don’t count.  They werent calling me when I was a smooshy whitey were they? 

Tomorrow I will get up, recheck my bags and make sure I have everything.  I am always the check with everything that others might have to borrow.  got scissors, sewing kit, glue to stck your ass to your suit, yep got that too.  Seeing as you are often more than an hour away from home you have to be prepared for anything.  I even have an extra pair of shoes in my bag.  I have never been to this venue so the full length door mirror will come too. Camera and video camera are charging and I have lots of sugarless gum so I can actually make some spit.  neer know when a gal might have to spit.  just kidding.

I did a pump type of workout, upper body only.  Then I did some posing in my 2 piece.  This part is hard because you start overthinking it.  Im just going to relax because at this point , it is what it is….

I want to thank you guys for you support.  Seriously, without bodyspace I couldnt do what I have done.  I learn soooooo much here and even when I am bumming, someone always picks me back up.