THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

Yep, Im crapping my short shorts right now…..speaking of short shorts, I wear them to the gym on legs day of course.  I always expose the parts I am working….not so much the chest, but you know what I mean.  My man Arnold always exposed his weak calves, said it motivated him to work harder. Anyway, a guy friend of mine comes up and says a guy he talks to said "why does she always have to wear the short shorts?" He told him, "because she can".  I asked who it was but he didnt tell me.  I said I was going to be sure to do some dumbbell deadlifts right in front of him next time if I find out who he is. My shorts arent really that short, my cheeks dont hang out or anything, plus if they are too long, ya tend to get a frontal wedgie (you know what I am talking abut ladies!) and it isn’t appropriate to be picking your shorts out of your crotch-ola after every set or displaying some rauchy camel toe.  I dress for comfort in and out of the gym.  I would live in my Otomoix pants if I could, these babies are like a second skin.

I did full upper body tonight and some cable kickbacks for glutes.  its amazing how your strength goes away when you cut water.  I was having trouble getting a pump.  I had a little, but nothing like I used to.  I stopped the superpump due to my water limitations, but still intend to sip it the day of the show.  It is a stimulant, so I have to be careful not to get all jacked because I will be nervous as it is.  I found another great show to do here in CT (I may have said this already) it is a CT only title and I don’t think there will be alot of competitors, but I really want to go for a title in my own state.  I did the Northern States and won masters, but it wasnt a specific Ct title.  I know one woman who beat me in open was from NY and another was from MA, so I don’t think anyone from Ct placed better than me.  Its in June, that gives me time to see how my stage pics look, how much I need to adjust..go leaner or not, etc.

Today I had just chicken and brown rice again. I feel like I am on Survivor.  I could totally handle that show if it wasn’t for the bugs and spiders. Right now broccoli would be a treat…..a freakin piece of cheese and I would sell my soul to the king of the underworld. 2 more days…….feels like an eternity. I wish some of you guys lived here.  we could have a posing class, this is a lonely life really. I chose it, yes I did, but I ddn’t exactly give up anything but wasting my life sitting on the sofa after work..no biggeee.

I guy in my gym asked me out tonight . I did not say yes.  I have someone now, but had a crush on that guy for the longest time and he had a girlfriend.  The one who used to come and give him a kiss when I got within 20 feet of him. Guess life is all about timing..weird

Have a glorious evening fellow freaks.  Tomorrow I get 1/8th of a gallon of water and you can bet your ass its going to be used for coffee!

Angela was supposed to go against GeminiJedi, but got a promotion at work (go Angela!!) and cant do the show in June. Co State Championships in July 12th.  You will get Plasmajet, Intrapro protein powder, SizeOn and Superpump250 to use during you pre contest phase.  I need you to blog, post pics or video, go from not tan to super tan (unless you are a lady of color and are lucky enough to have a permanent tan of course). The supps start 8 weeks pre contest and you also get Cytolean, top of the line fatburner!!!  So, if you want to do a show, contact me here of at fern@gasparinutrition.com.

I trained full body tonight, finally starting to dry out a little and love my vascularity.  I have been on chicken and rice all day, so the carbs were a treat.  You know you are twisted when you can east cold chicken and brown rice straight out of the fridge, no seasonings, no nothing.  My first stop after the show will be Dunkin Donuts to have a big fat sausage egg and cheese croissant…yummayyyyyyyy….oh and a great one light coffee with 2 sugars please.

I go friday to get my spray tan.  My honey doesnt like the fact that I have to go naked and a guy with a compressor gets to see my naked arse.  It’s cool, he never looks me in the eye and talks about his indoor golf place.  He looks like a mechanic.actually he looks like the best friend of Kurt Russell in OVERBOARD with Goldie Hawn. He even has holes in his socks…….you have to go naked because of the suit, you can’t have tan lines for cripes sake. He’s probably a boob man anyway…can’t help in there…hehe.  The tan wasnt dark enough last time and I had to show and paint myself the day afterwards, but at least I have a dark base to build on…..still I was the whitest on stage.  Maybe I will call him tomorrow and get an appointment 2 days in a row.  Not sure if he can because he said something before about the skin being able to soak up the color..its a thought.

Oh, I am doing another show in June.  Its a Gold Gym sponsored NPC about an hour from me. So, if I am not lean enough for this one……I will be ripped for that one.  Then I may do one in Septemeber in CA.  The NABBA Championships MsFigure.  Its has 6 mandatory poses, 1/2 bodybuilding 1/2 figure kinda sorta.  there is a 90 second posing (music)  routine as well.  We’ll see if I get the balls or not. Maybe I will have to do a couple shots of Jager first? It always makes me want to dance anyway.

Talk to ya later

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Today called for no carbs, all beef and protein shakes.  Im kind of used to it by now, but yesterday I got to have a cup of oatmeal.  Now, with no carbs except what was in 2 protein shakes I am lacking energy a bit.  I was barely able to get a pump in the gym, thats the crappiest part! I just did some calves, some shoulders and some abs and traps.  Then I broke yet another bellybutton ring/jewel whatever you call it.  It seems to happen when I pick up a plate.  I wa doing calves with a block of wood, sort of a platform that people use to elevate tuff like the incline bench press .  I put it under the bar on the smith and use the bar for balance and grab a 25 or 35 lb plate and do calf raises.  It gives a good burn, is not alot of weight, but the standing calf raise gives me a bruise in my middle back due to my curved spine……ok that was long winded.  Then I did some lateral raises, tri press downs on cables, a set of bench presses (ok, I did more than just 3 bodyparts now that I think of it)  I did some dumbbell rows, bent over rows on smith, upright rows on smith, seated rows, dumbbell shrugs, seated calf raises, hanging leg raises, dips, kneeling cable crunches……..hammer curls……um…errrr….is that it?  I was puttering, didnt grunt once.  Bummer.

No posing today as I had to take time to do 20 of cardio (read a novel), then off to the grocery store to find some chicken breast that was not drowned in sodium.  This is important!!!  Its friggin expensive though, but I just need it for a few days.  The next 3 days I will eat nothing but this chicken and brown rice, no salt, no nothing except a little garlic powder.  I cut water in half tomorrow, but sometimes cheat and have a little more coffee because its a natural diuretic.

I was asked why we do a deplete and didnt have a chance to respond.  I have been a wee bit pre occupied lately.  Anyway, we deplete to show muscle definition.  the purpose of a waterload/deplete and carb load deplete is overload with water and take it away has a profound effect on your system, combine this with a carb load and the muscles fill and the skin tightens to the muscle as the muscles expand.  Its not an exact science though…gotta play with it and see what it does to you…..plus factor into it that if you are a woman and it is your “lady-time” you may retain water much easier.  I myself have gained about 4 lbs of water at any given time.  thats about 1/2 gallon of water retention.  Nothing like carrying a “kegger” belly on stage, even sucking it in doesnt help…….friggin uterus……Im done with it, why cant it just take a hike?  Sorry guys, if you are over 20…..its nothing new to you.  Real men buy tampons………hehe

So, like I said tomorrow is chicken and rice rotating every 2 hours, water after food only…boring!!!!  If it works out, my ass will be looking high and tight………we’ll see.

Thanks for your advice on my dilemma.  Anyone can steal your photos on the internet and do anything with them.  they can say you are their spouse, lover, sex slave…..whateva…….a woman here just told me her photos were stolen and posted on someone named “sunnychic”’s profile, she reported it and I dont see a profile with that name anymore…….god!! At least choose someone who isnt on the same site as you!!!  Dumbass! 

Talk to ya later.  I did a posing video last night, looked lean…it was ok.

Today called for no carbs, all beef and protein shakes.  Im kind of used to it by now, but yesterday I got to have a cup of oatmeal.  Now, with no carbs except what was in 2 protein shakes I am lacking energy a bit.  I was barely able to get a pump in the gym, thats the crappiest part! I just did some calves, some shoulders and some abs and traps.  Then I broke yet another bellybutton ring/jewel whatever you call it.  It seems to happen when I pick up a plate.  I wa doing calves with a block of wood, sort of a platform that people use to elevate tuff like the incline bench press .  I put it under the bar on the smith and use the bar for balance and grab a 25 or 35 lb plate and do calf raises.  It gives a good burn, is not alot of weight, but the standing calf raise gives me a bruise in my middle back due to my curved spine……ok that was long winded.  Then I did some lateral raises, tri press downs on cables, a set of bench presses (ok, I did more than just 3 bodyparts now that I think of it)  I did some dumbbell rows, bent over rows on smith, upright rows on smith, seated rows, dumbbell shrugs, seated calf raises, hanging leg raises, dips, kneeling cable crunches……..hammer curls……um…errrr….is that it?  I was puttering, didnt grunt once.  Bummer.

No posing today as I had to take time to do 20 of cardio (read a novel), then off to the grocery store to find some chicken breast that was not drowned in sodium.  This is important!!!  Its friggin expensive though, but I just need it for a few days.  The next 3 days I will eat nothing but this chicken and brown rice, no salt, no nothing except a little garlic powder.  I cut water in half tomorrow, but sometimes cheat and have a little more coffee because its a natural diuretic.

I was asked why we do a deplete and didnt have a chance to respond.  I have been a wee bit pre occupied lately.  Anyway, we deplete to show muscle definition.  the purpose of a waterload/deplete and carb load deplete is overload with water and take it away has a profound effect on your system, combine this with a carb load and the muscles fill and the skin tightens to the muscle as the muscles expand.  Its not an exact science though…gotta play with it and see what it does to you…..plus factor into it that if you are a woman and it is your "lady-time" you may retain water much easier.  I myself have gained about 4 lbs of water at any given time.  thats about 1/2 gallon of water retention.  Nothing like carrying a "kegger" belly on stage, even sucking it in doesnt help…….friggin uterus……Im done with it, why cant it just take a hike?  Sorry guys, if you are over 20…..its nothing new to you.  Real men buy tampons………hehe

So, like I said tomorrow is chicken and rice rotating every 2 hours, water after food only…boring!!!!  If it works out, my ass will be looking high and tight………we’ll see.

Thanks for your advice on my dilemma.  Anyone can steal your photos on the internet and do anything with them.  they can say you are their spouse, lover, sex slave…..whateva…….a woman here just told me her photos were stolen and posted on someone named "sunnychic"’s profile, she reported it and I dont see a profile with that name anymore…….god!! At least choose someone who isnt on the same site as you!!!  Dumbass! 

Talk to ya later.  I did a posing video last night, looked lean…it was ok.

okey dokey, I am all beef and protein shake and flax today, so I am a little pissy.  Anywhoo, I got this email today and I will not mention names.  Awhile ago, this guy who has a site asked me to review his training stuff.  I said he was straightforward and his methods sound good, etc.  He sends out email newletters every week or so and I am on the mailing list.

Here is my beef….yeah like I need more BEEF.  He sends me an email asking if he can show my before and after pictures and how much he has helped me.  This pissed me off!!  My whole existance is honesty and I would be seriously dishonest if I allowed this.  I am proud of the fact that I busted ass on my own for the past 2 years.  I of course ‘gleaned’ information from m&f magazine, bodybuilding.com,etc….BUT  never has anyone ‘transformed me with their training and nutritional advice". Im kinda insulted actually.  Its like handi9ng over all my hard work to the credit of someone else………BULLshiiiiiitttttttt.

So, I am not emailing him back. Part of what I hope to accomplish here is the simple fact that if you cannot afford a trainer, you need not lose hope of getting in shape.  You don’t need to PAY anyone just bust hump.  You can get info all over the place for free….diet tips, training tips….all available right here on this site, plus the added sharing of info from all the great people on Bodyspace.

Ok, gotta go.  Be back later….

screw the other one, the sudden deplete.  It didnt work very well on me.  This one is a waterload for 2 days and then cutting it in 1/2 every day. Low carbs the first few days, a day of no carbs, then a carb up. It also has 2 days of beef and protein shakes only, then all chicken (I may use turkey) and rice. Ok it calls for sweet potatoes, but I got violently ill on them last time……….so yuck, not doing it!

I purchased also:

rice cakes for carbing up, peanut m&M’s for vascularity……..its a science but it is hit or miss most times.  But I figure with my gradual deplete I can control it more.  I just want to see if I can het my ham/glute tie ins a little higher and tighter…thats about it.

Today I did legs, light legs and then did some posing practice.  I was freaky tan.  I got gawked at and when I went into the aerobics room to pose I was kinda embarrassed in my shiny bikini because a mom and daughter were in the corner sitting on mats stretching.  There I was all a-glitter in lucite hooker heels like a tan freak.  AND oh yeah, I had a little fight with a bottle of bleach on my hair and the bleach won.  I am now superblonde!  Not sure if I like it very much….looks a little Viva Las Vegas or something.

So, the mom and daughter finally left and I practiced walking with my heels so I don’t walk like I have a pole jammed up my butt. My posing is better, but I know my nerves will get to me and I am so going to try to relax and have a good time on stage.  Breathe, just breathe…………..in out in out……….yeah right.

Hope everyone had a good Sunday!!!

I am going to take a little time out to talk about gym paranoia.  It did take me a little time to overcome this.  Basically, it is the worrying about who might be looking at you in the gym.  This seriously will be your downfall.  If you are in there to date, you will never attain much.  You have to make funny faces, have some sweaty swamp ass and middle back drool, get greasy looking…..so forget who is looking at you!!!  My daughter does this.   You are there to make yourself look and feel better, and there are other places to look for dates.  Also, I have been told by a few guys they admire the way I workout hard and not one of them mentioned that I look like a dork doing squats (as I am sure I do). Im not there to meet men though, its TABOO.  Sure sometimes there are some cuties, but it is not worth it to me to entertain anything furthur and frankly its nice to look at, but I already have a super sexy bodybuilding type of man who has  brains as well as  braun.  I am attracted to smart people with a great sense of humor….not just physical stuff.  

I know everyone is afraid of looking like a dork in front of everyone else, but think about your goals first. If you are insecure in the gym, how are you going to feel at the beach this summer with your belly hanging over your suit ? Are you going to wear a wrap when you walk 20 feet to the bathroom cus your butt may jiggle?  Get you ass over there and do them squats then!!!  See my point?  No one is going to laugh and point at you in the gym.  There is always going to be one or 2 A holes that give you dirty looks because they give EVERYONE dirty looks anyway.  It took over a year for people to talk to me and thats FINE with me.  I slap- on my music, sing every song and dissolve into my own world anyway.  So what if I am the freak who sings and video tapes herself?  Highschool is over! Sitting on my tv are 4 trophys……..dork or not.

Have a great night

Ok, I woke up flat.  Thats ok because I still have a week. I do think my overall shape is good, so if I am not too ripped, thats fine.  More in comaparison is the overall symmetry and shape.  I like having my butt anyway.  I will try to drop a couple more lbs though, but I dont want to look droopy.  Sometimes in figure they seem to choose bikini types anyway, why kill myself?  There was this one woman is my 1st show who looked like she should have kicked my ass, but she didnt….she had more muscle than me and was really tight.  I feel bad because I dont know why I beat her…….I was tiny and had no calves.  Im not dehydrated at all this morning, so the suddent deplete didnt do muchh for me I may have to go back to my gradual.  Everyone is different.

Anyway,  I have a house showing so I am freaking about my gym time being missed.  They close at 4 and sometimes when people come to look at your hpouse, they friggin linger for awhile. 

I worked out for an hour last night, no cardio though.  I was off water, so I didnt want to drop dead.  My goal is to lose another 2 lbs.  I am down to about 120 now.  We'’ll see…….

I feel great!!  I stop water at around 5pm tonight,  ask me then how I feel.  I still have a week and this is "practice", so its all good.  I like the way I am looking right now.  I started to carb up with simp-le sugars earlier and feel good, my shoulders seem bigger and rounder and I hope I can hold onto it.  I’ll be back later.  My daughter is going to VA for spring break.,gotta run her to the bus station.

Love you guys!!