Got a call today that my father was rushed to the hospital and wasn’t breathing, had to be intubated and had a seizure. After a few hours he was admitted to critical care. His BP was 55 over 22! They couldn’t even draw blood it was so low. It’s scary to see your loved ones look that way.  When I went it he was out of it, had a tube in his throat and they were still trying for a good vein to get a blood sample. The final try, they found one. The thing that pisses me off is that there was no doctor to be seen or heard.  My brother spoke to one early in the  morning, but other than that, we know nothing except he was being given "tests". EEG, catscan, carotid doppler……still at a loss. That’s so messed up. Who has been through this?  No doctor comes to talk to you like in movies or on television, thats bullshit.  The weird thing is, he cut me out of his life maybe a year and 1/2 ago and just called me a couple weeks ago like it was yesterday and asked "whats going on" like it never happened. THAT scares me. It leaves me thinking we were both stubborn *******s and lost alot of time and now time may be up.

Anyway, I don’t mean to be so somber….I am just distracted now. Coming online will help distract me a little bit. I think my shows start up in 8-10 weeks, so I will try to start gathering some useful tips for you ladies. I also got an offer from gaspari to do my own fitness column on their website called, "Ask MsFitness".  How cool is that? You know I am nuts for the creatine products and really love how it works. They are the only company that markets products for both men and women besides fatburners. Women are getting the shaft in that area.  I am not a femi-nazi, just want some equality when it comes to training and what helps the body get there faster and more efficiently, whether you are male or female. I suppose everyone wants to be treated fairly.

I posted a pec shot I am very proud of. I totally admit to feeling a little inadequate in the breast department, but when I see my pecs poppin, I just totally love it. Its kind of like any body part you build up and you are thinking, "wow, I built that". "I did that"…no one can do it for you either. It starts with your biceps feeling firmer, then you are shaving your legs and feel something "new" that wasn’t there before and off you go like a meth addict looking for a fix. So, if you stick with training for the first 6 weeks you may feel tortured and useless, but by 8 weeks of being consistant, you should start feeling some new tone and firmness….give it time..it will come.

I have to go…….Im babbling.

Sorry about my miserly valentine post.  I was just feeling lonely and am long overdue for one of those spooning with someone on the sofa on a saturday night watching a movie kind of times…………lost in a chick moment, forgive me

I left some Valentine comments to spread the love, but I just wasn’t feeling it today. I spend most "holidays" alone, so what’s the point?  I feel for everyone who has to go to the drugstore to pick something up and see all the people buying cards for loved ones and you are just there for deodorant. Not that I want anyone to spend money on me or feel obligated, just would be nice to feel special, know what I mean.  SO, for anyone who didn’t get a Valentine or spent it alone….I FEEL ya! I did get a couple cards and comments, so thank you for making me feel not so alone.  My workout totally sucked by my standards.  I did some abs and lats, but my mood was dragging me down.  I can’t wait for the Arnold.  I think it will be such fun and I need to be around people. There weren’t many people in the gym and no one came near me, so I guess it added to my somber mood. Then, I come online and some red head is calling me a slut for no reason in my comments. NICE, very NICE. You know, my pics were sexy, but I am not showing ass crack, no huge tits in tiny triangles and I am not wearing a thong jammed up in my goodies, or pulling down the side of my panties in a porno pose with a finger suggestively between my pouty lips……so kiss my muscualr ass lady………..move on.

Yeppers, in a bitchy mood now. I just needed to get it out here, like therapy.  My shows start in April, so I have to get on the ball and figure out how many weeks I have left.  Im not going to diet, but will post some good ones or some links to some a few weeks before my show.  I think I may try to just do a deplete, come in at 122 lbs, 7 lbs more than my last show and 14 lbs more than my 1st a year ago this past April. Im happy with that I think. I didnt like being 108 lbs.  I was ripped, but so damn tiny my pants didnt fit anymore, so this time I will be more conservative. My posing needs work as well, its a little stiff on stage because I am nervous.  maybe I should drink some wine and catch a buzz?  I hate wine actually….ewwww.  Smirnoff ice is better….hahaaaaaaaa

Im going to start taping again next week and then its off to Ohio.  I hope I get to go to the shows as well at night.  I sat there in awe at the Olympia.  Even if you don’t want to compete and you think they are too "huge", you should still try to attend a pro show.  The dedication is amazing and awe inspiring.

Thanks for being my Valentines……

THIS ONE IS FOR MEN WHO HAVE A WIFE/GIRLFRIEND TOO

Have you seen this show? It’s utterly fantastic.  Women in not so good shape, who hate their bodies, get transformed in make up and haircuts, clothes and their way of thinking about themselves. They actually line up several women and the host Carson tells the woman to go down the line and place her self according to size in the "line-up".  They usually choose a bodypart she hates on herself, like the thighs or the waist. 10 times out of 10, she puts herself 3 or 4 steps (out of 6) higher or bigger than she really is. So she is looking in the mirror and seeing huge thighs when in actuality, she tends to be smaller in many respects than how she actually perceives herself.  Then after she gets girled up, gets a self esteem boost, she gets ready for a photoshoot and the host asks her to do it naked.  the photos always come out beautiful….ah happy endings.

My point is how many men here have a wife who wants the lights off in the bedroom?  How many men have a girlfriend who says she looks gross and wont walk across the room to turn off the lights naked or yells "DONT LOOK AT ME!!!!!" like a crazy woman?  okay, that one is me I think.  In all honestly, since I got back in shape, no man has been in a room with me naked, BUT there is hope that I will not cover up and said, "don’t touch my thighs and secretly cringe if the lights are on for fear of the parts I hate showing like a beacon.

I get this question alot from men and I want the ladies to answer if they can.

"How can I talk my wife/girlfriend into getting in shape?  She had kids and now she has gained some weight and I want her to be happy and healthy, but do not want to insult her or have her think I don’t love her or am disgusted by her weight gain"? This is a sensitive topic and I am sure some women here have been faced with it as well.  One partner discovers the gym and the other goes in a different direction, happens all the time. Guys want their women to go to the gym with them. They want to help, but are often lacking for the right words. So, help them out……what would you say or what would you say if your spouse asked you to come to the gym? Would you take it as an indication he/she finds you anattractive or doesn’t love you? Fit people tend to be fat phobic, but this does not necessarily translate into not liking people with a few extra lbs. I wouldnt dump someone for love handles, but I would start cooking better stuff for him.  I see it this way, love handles and a thick waist as well as back fat has been associated with a risk of heart attack in both men and women.  So is diabetes and high blood pressure, perhaps we don’t want you to croak one night while we are watching tv together at the age of 45….it happens…….

So, if you are one of the women who crosses her arms, keeps the lights off during whoopie and wondering if he can see your jiggles……give your opinion please.  And men, if you have a woman who does this, give yours as well. Of course men are not all confidant strutting around naked as a jaybird….but they are certainly better at it than we are!

The last blog was fun!  You guys got some serious secrets.

My knee was bothering me again so a wise man once said to me "don’t turn and injusry into a chronic injury" so I lightened up and experimented instead.  I didnt get the heavy workout that I have been craving, so I tried to mix it up by practicing my walking lunges and lunges in general.  I have weird toes.  they go downhill towards my pinky toes like a set of stairs, so I think this is why my balnace sucks in that lunge position and I kind of tend to tip to the side. Besides that 25 lb dumbbells are not terribly heavy, but my grip starts to fail and I left my hooks in the car.  It was a balmy 25 degrees out, so going out to get them was not on my agenda. Its the kind of weather that freezes your nose hairs…….

I am not terribly sore, but did the best I could.  I think the Plasmajet really keeps me going in the gym.  It is not for the lightweight though.  This stuff is so potent, you only take it every 2-3 days, so I save it for leg day of course. I feel like I have the energy of the energizer bunny.  You know those times when all you want to do is nap after work? Im trying to get rid of those winter blahs.  Anyway, did several sets of curls, extensions, glute isolators, kickbacks, straight presses, leg press was only 325 or so and I didnt go past a 45 degree angle on the legs just to be on the safe side. I did the lunges of course and I am actually feeling that high in the quads, close to the hip, so I will try to incorperate it into a weekly thing. I felt tiny on Sunday.  I know my weight is up, but I am constantly comparing weight with other women my height and even though I weigh more, I still don’t think I come across as terribly muscular, mostly in my legs.  I am now working on my glute/ham tie in and competitions are only a couple months away. Im not going to worry about bodyfat at this point, just eat clean, maybe try to do cardio a couple days a week?  I know, I said the "C" word!!!  Oh, I did calves again and I think I am seeing a little progress.  Does anyone here had problem with burning in the arches of their feet while doing calves?  I think this is why I am not getting as much weight as I would like on them, my arches start to burn and my left ankle certainly has a weakness that my right does not. I know, I am a freak.

I also want to thank you guys.  You all motivate me and are my bodyspace family.  I talk about fitness at work and they just don’t understand me I guess. I’m happy to help them, but sometimes feel I am wasting my breath if they ask for help and then  I see them in the kitchen eating McDonalds (true story).  She had just asked me for help and said diet was under control! Then she leaves her fries on the table for others and 15 mins later I am in the kitchen and she walks in, sees me and says, "oh, no one is going to eat these so I will throw them away" grabs the fries and walks out.  I turn and look as the trash can is right next to me…….why didnt she use it? Cus she was coming to eat them and me being there stopped her.She had a rough divorce and turned to food, it happens………I’m not a saint.  I had a double cheeseburger the other day while out with the kids and ‘viola’, I am still alive!! It was a little gross and salty, but I was starving, so sue me.

later gators!

I had little shorts on…..really.  I did have ass crack showing, so I edited the photo………moving on now………..Despite the title, I hear something so funny on the radio and thought I would do it here. I am going to ask you what your secret music is on your MP3 player.  I listen to mostly Korn, Toby Mac, Marilyn Mason, disturbed, ets.  hardcore, screaming, grunting, kisck your ass kind of music. THEN…….my dirty little secrets…….Nancy Sinatra singing “these boots are made for walking”, I have some Britney Spears “slave for you”, and some other dance tracks as well. How about Flo Rida and those “apple bottom jeans”? Some songs just make you feel sexy, ya know what I mean? So, let me hear what you are hiding behind those earplugs!!

Today was abs, forearms and calves. You know I hate my calves right?  I was the only chick on stage without those round high ones and it bugs the crap out of me.  Why do I have to have the long calves? I was thinking it is perhaps because I never really weighed very much and didnt wear heels enough in my life, so they never needed to grow.  Besides being preggers, my max weight was about a flabby 126.   As a pregnant person, I think I hit 160 something, but didnt have heels on then for sure.

I still get asked alot about the abs.  I have the video on my page although its getting a little “dated” so you can watch it if you want to know what I do.  Its so much easier to show than describe.  Its under favorites on my profile “getting hardcore with msfitness”.  I sent the guys new stuff but have yet to hear about when my next show comes out.  They are probably just busy with the Arnold PR.  I have some good leg stuff, but by the time it gets out I may have better legs……….so I will keep on taping.

For calves I did the old standards, donkey,seated and slide machines and then got the block out and did raises with a dumbbell in one hand.  I need to do more, I know. I may hit up the step mill starting next week, thats a burn for sure, climbing stairs. I really want to see some growth!

Abs, incline sit ups with a 35 lb plate today and it was easier, but I don’t know how far I should go with abs.  I tend to be really thick there, so I have to ease up a little otherwise it will look like I am sporting a potbelly.

I really think the Plasmajet is hitting the mark. Weights seem lighter, I have more energy and can superset til the cows come home.  I have to stop myself after an hour and 1/2 of straight supersets. And I am loving the Cytolean of course, but it does make me super chatty at work. They probably think I am on crystal meth……..tweaked to the gills.

Gotta go, the belly is calling me.

I was lying in bed last night trying to sleep and because I was a lazyass and had a nap, my brain was doing its crazy spinning thing as usual and I was "thinking too much". I did howver, try to do some math in my head and figure out what I have gained. I admit to feeling a little negative in my gains this season, so I calculated what I weighed in my 1st competition last April (108lbs) to now at 126-128 lbs.  that about is a 20 lb difference, correct? My bodyfat is about the same, give or take 1%, 2 at the most.  I dropped water on my first show, that was approx 5 lbs. that means my actual weight was 113 and here I am at 126-128.  This means I have gained anywhere from 13-15 lbs of muscle in less than a year.  Does this make sense?  And before April I had gained 10 lbs up until then. It sounds about right because I was a squirrely 105 with no muscles and wore the same size jeans.  okay, they are tight on the legs and and loose in the waist , but I still wear them. They are American Eagle…….nothing more comfy. Soooooooooo, in a nutshell I should be proud of myself and not kicking my own ass so much.I swear I sometimes treat myself worse than anyone else ever has. Also ladies, if you are gaining weight at the gym, don’t worry, it happens.  Just gauge your gains by the way the clothes fit.Easier said than done I know!!

I trained chest and tris tonight.  One thing about chest and tris is the pump I get. I blow up like a balloon!  It makes you feel pretty amazing actually. Im not a big person, but I sometimes feel like one.  I started doing incline presses on the smith.   I drag over the incline situp bench on use it there.  I got an easy 105 on that.  I did db flies, chest presses, crossovers on both high and low cables and on the low I can actually add some decent weight.  that is a hard one because of the whole leverage thing.  It really kills the anterior delts though. ( makes you look like a hardcore bitch while doing it) I also flat benched, did single arm presses (upwards) on the hammerstrength and for tris……laying extensions, dips on the machine a bodyweight dips (21 is my # right now seeing as I was slacking on it) I do tri kickbacks and pressdowns on cables. Oh one more thing, bench dips.  I can do those til the cows come home.  tri them….you will like them.  they get your arms superpumped in between chest sets.

Im nervous about the Arnold.  it takes me time to get comfortable in new surroundings and with new people, so bear with me if you stop by.  I will be surrounded by some hot chicks and am sure to feel intimidated.  Plus on Thursday night  have to tape a video with Marzia Prince for bb.com in the gym.  Have you ever met her?  Ms Bikini Universe? Shes tall and gorgeous.  She is Barbie and I am Skipper, the flat chested tomboy kid sister …heheeeeeeeee. Ok, Skipper didnt have pecs and I would have kicked her ass on the leg press, no doubt.  Seriously, I am sure its going to be a good time. I know we have tons of stuff to give away and you won’t be dissapointed!!!

ps.  I was able to restore some/all of my videos and photos that went when my pc crashed.  I thought I lost everything I had worked so hard for and was terribly crushed. I am trying to get them all back.

Yes, I was not going to do it, but have decided to drop 3-5 lbs for the Arnold.  I got some offers for pics (time allowing as I will be working all day) so I am going to try to lean up just a little bit.  We all have fat that settles in certain areas and  mine tends to be my waist around my belly button and my lower back.  I think it’s due to the fact that I once had that huge 44 inch belly (4 times actually) while pregnant. I am just fine with my other areas and wish I could keep them the way they are while getting rid of the “puddle of goo” around the belly.  We’ll see…….

I am going to take the Cytolean (started today) eat a little cleaner and pay more attention to timing of meals.  I kind of have been doing this constant feed thing where I just graze all day.  I don’t eat anything bad though. I’m in the middle of my bulk and don’t want to get superlean . Compared to yesterdays irritated mood, today is soooooooo much better. Rather than be a bitch to everyone, I keep to myself , so much safer and I don’t need to apologize to anyone!!! The sun hasnt been out here for about a week and it is seriously affecting most people’s mood here in CT. I think I have to hit the tanning bed even though it is bad for you just to get in some vitamin D and improve my mood.

I will be back later when I can find something interesting to blog about. 

I was way off my game tonight.  the only good news is they finally got a friggin scale at my gym.  A big honkin dr office scale that no dumb beotch can cram in her gym bag and go home with!  Who steals a friggin scale? "may you rot in hell dumbass!" I weigh 128, not sure how to deal with the number right now.love it,hate it…whatever.

People pissed me off tonight, "machine hogging, talking on cellphones loudly, piddling around, give me my effing straight-bar if you arent using it" kind of night. My battery is dead in my MP3 so I have to listen to young guys talking all studly and pretending they know what they are talking about.  Okay, 2 dudes in particular, but they were friggin annoying as hell and had a pile of attachments they were "using". One guy used the phase "friggin ***" numerous times while on his cellphone while "training his buddy". I am all for sharing, but if you would rather be talking on your phone, take a walk or something. Yes, some of are expecting an important call or have kids, so if you are one of them, be polite, set it on vibrate and when/if it rings, take a walk down the hall.okey dokey? Because this mommy , pms’ing I may add,who’s time is precious and the gym is my place to meditate, may just drop kick you into a mirror like Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon!……can ya tell I am irritated? I just like people to have manners, nothing wrong with that.

So, I did back and bis and some shoulders too off course.  I felt squishy and a little water retained (what chick doesnt?) It was an okay workout, but it could have been better.  I came home and cooked 3 lbs of ground turkey for the week and watched that show where she matches up women with millionaires. Oh damn,that show is shallow with a capital ‘S",but hey,its entertaining, I did have to leave the room a few times because I was annoyed.  Nothing like watching a woman with no scruples trying to hook a man for his moola..and him falling for it because she has on 15 lbs of make-up, hair extensions, over inflated lips and boobs and likes to "take hot steamy showers" for exercise..haha.   Do men  really want women they wouldnt recognize without make-up? I wonder sometimes….

Anyway, hope y’all had a peachy night.

Delayed onset muscle soreness

I look forward to legs day all week and today was no exception.  So I get there and while warming up my knee starts its tweaking of course.  I was so set to break the 600 mark on the leg press and even had the camera. This happens about once a month and of course it has to be today,right? I only got to 500 today and am just totally pissed at myself. Any bending such as squats had it hurting as soon as I got down to about a 45 degree angle.  I have no medical insurance and if you have it don’t take it for granted!!  I had insurance for years, but now if I hurt myself I am screwed….so maybe next week I will try it.

I did the other usual stuff and tried to stick to lower weights and mass rep just to get something in. I actually liked the way my legs looked this morning.  Usually I am complaining like everyone else.

Today for shits and giggles I added incline chest press on the smith, lateral raises and some shoulder presses.  i am liking the romanian deadlifts with the dumbells too.  You can superset right into traps or curls until you vomit.  thats always attractive.  (okay, i never actually vomited).

Im sorry if this blog is going to be short.  I am starving and have to go find something to eat before I chew my own arm off……..