FLIRTING and crossing the line.
I did my shoot this morning as you can see, the pics came out pretty well. I am pleased and achieved what I wanted to achieve…."muscles as art". I went to an art highschool and always loved those Greek statues even if they did put figleaves on them! I suppose in most of our lives all we can really control is ourselves and I believe this to be my form of control. I know some people just think you are beautiful the way you are, but you really do need to feel it for yourself to be happy with yourself. Its all about self confidence..not only physical beauty. I am going to be honest and tell you I have some nudes of which I will not post (obviously). They were artistic nudes and I think they came out great with the lighting. My boyfriend wasn’t happy that I did it, but honestly it wasn’t like I was doing Hustler. There was no balony showing..just some hiney and back. I watched that show,"how to look good naked" and I just wanted to look good naked myself I suppose.
Now moving on to the whole "flirting" thing. This site,Myspace and others is a whole "flirt" based enterprise. Especially here..thats a given. We show off bodies and sometimes try to outdo each other. Most people are pretty respectful in their comments and keep their requests for nudes in a PM. (vetoed!) I do not send anyone nude photos on the internet.My boyfriend tells me women send him nudes and requests to see him nude as well here.(that makes me want to kick ass) I personally don’t see the point of looking at a picture of a guys junk. You seen one, you seen them all, and I have 3 sons….seen plenty changing diapers.heheee I’m not upset, not angry, just stating fact. I know when I put up a sexy picture, its going to get me comments of course, hopefully the word MILF will not be in one of them.(tacky) I have fitness goals so getting noticed is part of the plan, but please keep in mind that some of us have signifigant others and even though we flirt, we do not want to piss anyone off. I myself, am the first to call a woman hot as well as a man. Muscles are sexy and beautiful to me. I cant help it and it doesnt mean I want to bang you..just goof off,call you a hottie, sexypants,etc. So ladies, if I ever commented to your hubby or boyfriend, its meant in good fun, never intended to cross a line.
This post idea came to light after my boyfriend got upset about a comment that was left for me and I confessed to him that my photographer hit on me today. He knows some things are beyond my control, but it still upset him. Not much bothers him really, so it suprised me. Legs day tomorrow with my Plasmajet.watch out!
January 26, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I’m just curious , why would you come home and tell him? As a woman and as a gorgeous, super fit woman he knows men are going to occasionally lose control, but eventhough men say they can handle it, in reality, just like the lion, they don’t want to hear about n e one encroaching on their territory. Now the photographer is out of future gigs with you and your bf is gonna be paranoid next time you go on a shoot. The good news, you got your art pics you’ve always wanted, done..
January 26, 2008 at 9:19 pm
The body is your temple treat it as such, each temple is an individual piece of art. I wish more people respected the body as a temple. With that said as far as flirting especially on here, it is to be damn near expected. Unless there is some follow through, as you log off the net so should you log off to that vibe, just my opinion. Great job with the photo shoot you look great.
January 26, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Glad you are safe. You sounded a little concerned about the shoot yesterday in yor blog. I am sorry he hit on you. Glad to hear you are so pleased with the photos. Hard work pays off. Take care and good luck with your goals.
January 26, 2008 at 10:26 pm
What, you have a boyfriend, when did this happen? Great for you. Hope he becomes somewhat used to the attention you get. Well, keep up the good work. Steve
January 27, 2008 at 2:38 am
well, hopefully your honesty will pay off. It seems you’ve got the communication part down, I’m sure he’ll see that and appreciate it. You’ve never struck me as the type to let things cross the line if you had controll. Take the advances from other women the same way you’d like him to take the advances made toward you.
The attntion you get is a testiment to your hard work and dedication. Keep setting the example fern.
Take care
January 27, 2008 at 6:13 am
Ok, gotta pipe in with a female comment on here lol.
First of all, the picture from your shoot looks amazing. The focus on your muscles and the sexiness of the photo stems from that, as it should.
I am amazed at people that use this site as a pick up place. Sure we all flirt, but hopefully we are mature enough to take it in the spirit to which it is intended right?
Good luck with Legs tomorrow, make em burn!
January 27, 2008 at 6:23 am
I suppose I told him because he is my best friend. The reason some photographers may want to shoot with you is because they find you attractive (makes sense right?)
January 27, 2008 at 8:56 am
I agree with Paulapop…I was just amazed (and very dissapointed) to find that people use this site as a pick up place. I haven’t been on here long, but posted one not-so-great pic and started getting emails and comments from guys, and guys adding me to their "friends." No women, by the way, other than the ones I contacted first. No one was lewd or rude or anything at all…but flirting is not AT ALL what I’m here for. There are better places to do that, people:)
I had planned to post progress photos, but will be VERY reluctant to do so now. I really don’t know how anyone can pose for flattering photos of their physique without showing some skin…which leads to the flirting:( I’m even reluctant to post anything in the forums or a blog here because the last thing I’m looking for is "that" kind of attention. I just add women to my friends list and accept women’s comments because I want to be able to find their profiles easily. There are some great men’s physiques on here, but I can’t relate to wanting to look like any of them, so they don’t really interest me.
I joined Bodyspace to get information and inspiration from women like MsFitness, and to help me stay on track with my fitness goals. I found another site that is MUCH more oriented in that direction, with men and women both offering encouragement and information, without the innuendo. I’m using it more than this one right now, but still check back here because there is great information and some amazing ladies with photos and stories that inspire me.
Wish there was an option in our account settings to block comments/emails from men…and visa versa if there are any men out there who don’t want women contacting them either lol. I guess that sounds bitchy but I just don’t have the time or inclination to deal with flirts when I thought I was signing up to learn about getting stronger and healthier. Guess that would also block the occasional guy who actually has something constructive to say though:(
And my husband is NOT jealous at all…he enjoys me getting complimented probably more than I do. He even likes it when I tell him about the guy hitting on me at the carpet store or wherever…and I always do. He does the same when girls flirt with him…we just laugh about it. I think he likes knowing that other men find me attractive, but especially likes knowing that I don’t have any "secret" flirting going on. That way he has nothing to worry about.
And I would love to have some photos taken like that…once I get bodied!
January 28, 2008 at 10:14 am
Fern, I think it’s hot when other guys hit on my wife. Can’t blame them! Especially if they don’t know she’s married. For what it’s worth, I think your BF having a problem with this is sort of creepy.
January 29, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Fern,
This is a topic that will continue to create strong conversational communication between my husband and I. I never understood why he’d preferred that I don’t tell him. I’m a open book. I can’t lie or even pretend to!
So, we continue to discuss comments made to me. And after 7.90 years (anniversary in February….yeah!), we are talking about it with more ease.
It is because we talk that I can see him support me more with my fitness goals.
You are right, our goal is not to pick up guys here, it is to be an example and motivation to others. You have been such a motivation for many. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your experience.
You look fabulous. Continue to achieve that fine sculpted art. I will tell any man or woman that they look fine if I see beauty and it’s not just eye candy, it’s in the personality as well.
Cheers.
January 29, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Having a problem with someone hitting on your woman is not creepy, it’s a natural emotion. And you can’t dictate how you are going to react to things. It just happens.
January 29, 2008 at 1:40 pm
getting upset when someone flirts with, or comments on, your significant other is insecurity..no more, no less..if your significant other has given you a reason to be insecure (i.e., past indiscretions), then it is something you as a couple unfortunately have to deal with until complete trust is regained..
i have an absolutely stunning (and fit) wife - yay me!! - and she’s completely open with me..i’ve also witnessed the come-ons firsthand. like bahama, i welcome it..because i trust her unequivocally..
i’d be more concerned if no one paid attention to her..
July 29, 2008 at 6:33 pm
SIGH… I’ve had stalkers before from my blog… I’ve been on the internet too long… bwahaahah
but, I’ve not had anyone commenting on my "body" pics before; so, I find it a little weird.
The now ex-bf got mad at my bellydancing hip belt pic.
It’s sad that no one understand… Hell ya, I’m showing off my hard work! I’m not trying to audition for playboy.
I think pictures done right are art…
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October 18, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I believe that "flirting" is important in almost all aspects of life. Not the actual flirting itself but the tools and techniques one employs in flirting to get a desired result are traits that are transferable to all communication both verbal and non verbal. If you know how to use these skills with flirting with women you will most surely be successfully in other types of personal communication. To up your flirting IQ check out PublicFlirt.com
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