THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

This first photo is me of course, but the ones below are where I am heading!!!

It was Michelle Flake too, but Monicas Endorush ad really got me going as I had it posted on my dresser and still do.  THIS is where I want to go with myself.  Ok, I am missing some essentials, but we have to have a goal, right? She has muscles, she has style and she is gorgeous………..what could be better.  AND the real capper is my gym managaer Troy tells me the other night that he talks to Monica about me all the time (about me being too lean). He is best buds with her hubby and I was like ,”really, about ME?” My IDOL knows about me? Im like a little kid!!! I hope to meet her at the Arnold and get some photos.

Anyway, I brutalized me legs on Sunday.  Remember how I said I never got sore anymore?  Well, it took 575lbs to make me sore, so when you are thinking you maxed out on weight, think again.  I am going superheavy now for a few weeks, then I will go back to moderate supersets to make sure I stay lean.  Tonight I will try to get to the gym (still no sitter) and do back,bis and abs…Im not sure.  i lost my regualr schedule.  I will also try to repost my diet for some people.  Not the diet I am on right now, but the going lean basics.  Thats people’s biggest question to me. Dont worry, its easy enough.

Gotta go.

Fern

Holy shiiiiittttttttt……Remember a couple weeks ago when I leg pressed 400+ and was so proud?  Well today I was feeling kind of gung ho,got my Superpump in me and my PlasmaJet and so I decided to see what I could do. I met a new guy in there today (older chap) and he offered to lend me a spot.  We piled on and piled on and I got up to about 575!!! I was amazed and it wasn’t really that hard because I got 7 reps out easy enough. They werent deep and I was wishing I had the video camera with me cus I was think no one would believe me.  Sounds too good to be true I suppose. Next week I am bringing the cam and will go for the 600 lb mark, I promise. My cable kickbacks are up to about 80 lbs.  Its hard to get a nice leg swing with that amount of weight though, so I will stay at that number for awhile.  Don’t forget to do your warm up sets before going heavier, you don’t want to tear anything. I tried to bump up my leg extensions to 140, but my knee was feeling it too much, so I had to drop it back.  The same with the seated curls.  I try to add more weight to it, but it presses right below the knee and the weight seems to crush the front of my legs. I guess that means more reps at less weight. My romanian deadlifts at still at 105.  I can get off a good 10 of them, but am reluctant to ‘tax’ my back too much. My spotter say he though pieces of me were going to fly off after he watched me do them…….haha.  that was a good laugh for me. He’s 61 and still going strong. Not a bodybuilder, but he’s still in there a few days a week. Odd because I have seen him there alot of the past year and we never spoke before. It was nice to get a spot for a change.  I had to suck up my “femalepride” and just say okay and look what happened…….success! Thats a 150 lb gain in just a couple weeks!! Seriously, the Plasmajet is working for me.  I was a little dubious because I thought I had all I needed in the SP250 and the SizeOn.  I was thinking, “how much better can it get? Now my question has been answered…….time to take it to a whole new level.

Sorry it this blog was a bit boring. Im so hungry I cant think right now.

I did my shoot this morning as you can see, the pics came out pretty well. I am pleased and achieved what I wanted to achieve…."muscles as art". I went to an art highschool and always loved those Greek statues even if they did put figleaves on them! I suppose in most of our lives all we can really control is ourselves and I believe this to be my form of control.  I know some people just think you are beautiful the way you are, but you really do need to feel it for yourself to be happy with yourself. Its all about self confidence..not only physical beauty.  I am going to be honest and tell you I have some nudes of which I will not post (obviously).  They were artistic nudes and I think they came out great with the lighting.  My boyfriend wasn’t happy that I did it, but honestly it wasn’t like I was doing Hustler.  There was no balony showing..just some hiney and back. I watched that show,"how to look good naked" and I just wanted to look good naked myself I suppose.

Now moving on to the whole "flirting" thing.  This site,Myspace and others is a whole "flirt" based enterprise.  Especially here..thats a given.  We show off bodies and sometimes try to outdo each other.  Most people are pretty respectful in their comments and keep their requests for nudes in a PM. (vetoed!) I do not send anyone nude photos on the internet.My boyfriend tells me women send him nudes and requests to see him nude as well here.(that makes me want to kick ass)  I personally don’t see the point of looking at a picture of a guys junk.  You seen one, you seen them all, and I have 3 sons….seen plenty changing diapers.heheee  I’m not upset, not angry, just stating fact.  I know when I put up a sexy picture, its going to get me comments of course, hopefully the word MILF will not be in one of them.(tacky)  I have fitness goals so getting noticed is part of the plan, but please keep in mind that some of us have signifigant others and even though we flirt, we do not want to piss anyone off.  I myself, am the first to call a woman hot as well as a man.  Muscles are sexy and beautiful to me. I cant help it and it doesnt mean I want to bang you..just goof off,call you a hottie, sexypants,etc. So ladies, if I ever commented to your hubby or boyfriend, its meant in good fun, never intended to cross a line.

This post idea came to light after my boyfriend got upset about a comment that was left for me and I confessed to him that my photographer hit on me today. He knows some things are beyond my control, but it still upset him. Not much bothers him really, so it suprised me.  Legs day tomorrow with my Plasmajet.watch out!

Yep, Fred got injected with cortisone and died.  Has anyone ever needed to have this done?  Get a needle right between the eyes? “A little stick” she tells me.  ha!!  More like a giant wasp sting and a punch in the face.  I have a high pain threshold to boot.

I have to see if I can get to the gym tonight. I’m not sure if I will have time and may not have a sitter anyway.  dam, this has been such a bad week as far as training.  I may have to just go use my dumbbells at home just to do something. I feel like a big fat lazy slob.  I have pictures tomorrow morning, so I have to tan myself up a bit. Kind of sucks when you cant reach your own back.  My moves are not so graceful, let me tell ya. I probably look like a dog chasing his tail making noises like ‘uh,uh,uh”. Im confused about what to wear in this shoot.  Its hard find clothes that show your body, are small, but don’t make you look like porn star. Okay, porn stars have boobs.  I think I have a hard time looking smutty.  Not that I want to look smutty though. I can go braless in a tank top and wear little shots, so I suppose thats a plus. I had coffee………I am in a super babble mode. Oh and my daughter cant go to the shoot with me, so I have to go alone.  Ever been in tiny clothes alone with some guy you just met? I am not talk at 3 am after the bar closes either…….doesnt count!!

I get asked alot about the modeling thing or how I started.  If you want to do it, just contact some of the photographers who are at the big shows.  They will do it for free actually. One guy paid me $100 for about 1/2 an hours work. Im also on another site where I get offers to do free shoots TFCD (trade for CD). You really have to select carefully.  Some are just GWC’s (guys with cameras) and that won’t get you anywhere I suppose.  this guy I am seeing tomorrow has “vision” and is a full time photographer. I’m trying to get into Ironman’s over 40 edition.  I wont be 40 til July, but lets not split hairs,okay? Also I am submitting to a few other mags, I just need the right photos to present. They don’t really want superlean either, so you have to be somewhere in between.  I guess I will end this now……..I’ll be back later if I actually get to the gym.

I got a form to do the Jay Cutler NPC in Boston May 5th.  It says Lynn Mass, but I did my FAME show there and it was right near downtown, so it’s still Boston,right?  Anywhoooooooo, Victor Martinez is guest posing!!  Woo Hooo! I think I am just going to do masters this time rather than cross over.  Going on stage over and over is draining.  By the time you do open and go off stage, it’s time to do masters, so you have to go back on, toes pinching, sore back and quads from flexing, etc..its a bitch. Then I will probably get my ass whupped by a 22 year old who doesnt know a delt from hole in the wall………BUT on the other hand, you never know who is going to show up and if you don’t cross over, you think “maybe I should have?” Obviously, I overthink things a bit, but this show will probably have a good draw because of Jay and Victor.  I wish I was bodybuilding ready because at my last show there was only one woman and I think I may have kicked her ass because I was leaner than her, even though she was a bigger person than me I had more definition.

Anyway, I did back and bis tonight.  I wasn’t going to go at all because of Fred.  Who is Fred you ask?  well Fred is my new zit.  Not just any old zit, but one that is huge and smack dab on the bridge of my nose.  friggin thing has its own solar system its so big. It looks like I got smacked with a baseball bat by Papi (did I spell that right?).  BUT I went, sucked it up and prayed no one would come up to me to chat for once.  It was late and there were about 4 people in the gym, so at one point I had the whole place to myself!!  I was flexing, posing..then people came in…..young guys, like 18. If they stared a little harder at me in the mirror, the glass might have cracked.

Back and bi’s………I rowed like a madwoman, probably grunted or made whimpering noises cus I was alone.  I added 25 lbs to my bent over smith rows. Someone told me the bar was 35 lbs, so with 2 25’s, 2 10’s and 2 5’s, thats a total of 115 now.  I can get 6 or 7 nice reps now.  Seated cable rows 110, delt flies only at 50, but for 4 sets of 10.  I also did some supersetting.   For example (try this) bicep curls with the dumbells for 10 reps, drop down and do romanian deadlifts with them til you want to vomit or pass out, stand up straight, do some lateral raises with a bent elbow, deadlift again, then more bicep curls.  You will be sweating and so beat.  If I can pick 2 things that I dont need to change machines on (like with the dumbells and rotate repeatedly those 2 exercises of which hit 2 seperate bodyparts) then I can keep going and get a great burn because one part is resting while the other is working. Don’t get me wrong, I am still doing my super heavy sets in between, but I still want to throw in the supersets for a cardio burn to stay relatively lean.)  I also got up to 50 lb single arm curls on the cables.  I do them in reverse, not facing the rack.  We have one with handles and I hold it with my other hand behind my back for leverage.   I didnt do as much as I usually do because I went so late, but it was still great.  I felt really strong actually and got a great pump.  I added in some lat press downs (killed at 110 lbs), some single arm db rows, barbell curls (50 lbs) single arm pull downs on the high cables, upright rows, leg extensions and curls for a pump and hammer curls to wake up my forearms.  I will to to get in there tomorrow , but if not, Friday night.

Oh.  I got some info on what Gaspari is giving away in the booth at the Arnold and its going to be great!  Be sure to stop by. You will be able to meet Marzia Prince, Flex Lewis, Nicole Costa, Cathy Lefrancois , Deserusan from Bodyspace and of course, Rich Gaspari himself. I will more than likely be the blond chick with the “holy shit did you see that dude’s arms?” look on my face…………heheeeee. Im a people watcher.

I was going to tell you something else, but I forgot what it is. I think Fred is leeching into my brain………..

I am not currently seeking them, but will be in the near future. I myself and looking for motivated women who are willing to workout hard and try the products to enhance their results. I offer no one a ‘magic pill’ to build muscle and lose fat, as seems to be a common goal here. It is a combination of diet and exercise as well.  Fat burners, such as Gaspari’s Cytolean, really do work if taken correctly.  The stuff you see on TV that says you can eat  what you want and lose fat is bullshit, plain and simple.

There is no way to live on Pizza and cupcakes and all that processed food and still lose weight.  Chances are all it wil do is make you sit on the toilet all day and lose water weight from constant diarrhea.  Nothing like dropping 2 lbs in the crapper to make those jeans zip up, huh?  Water weight can be signifigant as a gallon weighs about 8 lbs.  Any woman with PMS knows this.  Problem is, drink water and it comes right back.

First off, stay out of 6 of the 12 isles in (insert name here.  hint….biggest superstore in the country) while shopping for food.  If its pre made or mixed and  comes in a bag or box frozen, steer clear. I Have never seen so much crap as in that store.  They have  a whole isle of processed snack food and another of soda.  then in the frozen section, you are lucky to find a bag of plain spinach.  Clean food and eating ‘clean; is just as it sounds. CLEAN. Chicken,fish,beef,tuna, whole wheat pastas and brown rice, fresh or frozen veggies , oatmeal,etc. Okay, you need not give up everything that tastes good, but some of it.  Later on after going clean, the other stuff seems disgusting anyway, trust me on that one.  I want to vomit at the thought of hamburger helper now. Lots of other things are misleading as well, such as 100 calorie packs of cookies, low fat this or that, etc….even granola bars have lots of sugar and thats misleading as well. Lots of these things have high amounts of carbohydrates of which you do not need and do not burn off effectively, so it ends up in your fat stores.  We are all guilty of late night snacking on stuff like popcorn, which in your mind is “healthy” and low calorie, right? Sure it is, but in about an hour after eating it, you are going to go to bed and sleep with it and wake up with it on your thighs.  I’m not trying to scare anyone and am by no means perfect when it comes to dieting, just enlightened a bit. Just know that what goes into your mouth, needs time to be used as fuel with little waste.  Another good tip I got was to wait 15 minutes after eating to see if you want more.  This rings true because it takes the brain time to realize the stomach is full and for anyone who ever ate too much and wants to pop 15 minutes after eating…..you know this.   

I do also push the book (I get no kickbacks from this) The Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno.  It has your basics in it and I read it after all my own personal trial and errors and it was right on the money. By no means am stating you have to be 10% bodyfat, just a healthier, happier you..so keep trying and if you fall off the wagon, get back on.  Rome wasn’t built in day, right?

in a  day…….

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I have recently been publically accused of drug use. All I use are the supplements on my page from Gaspari. This person also said I pretend to lift hard, but I am basically just pill pooping to get muscle. Hahaaa! There is a pill to get muscles?  Let me at it!!! Just kidding.  I love lifting actually, its something that makes me happy.  You guys know that my physique doesnt even come close to women that do steroids. I was never one for being dishonest about that kind of stuff because how could I tell people they can change if I was using something to alter myself that you weren’t?  That would not be fair, now would it? Helping people means the world to me.  Even when I was a dental assistant and we were reconstructing someones smile, if you could see they way the light comes back in their eyes when they smile and haven’t for years, you would understand. Its the same thing here.

On a lighter note, my butts on fire from yesterday and I hope my quads will be sore as well because frankly, I don’t know how much more I can do to them and to me soreness is a sign of  sure growth. Its a little twisted, but thats me. 

My Gaspari testers are all getting the SizeOn as well as the Lean & Fit stack.  We are going another 6 weeks. One of the origional 4 dropped out, so I only have 3 ladies now. But these 3 are still motivated to continue on.

The Arnold is getting closer!  I hope many of you can go because when I went to the Olympia I was shocked to see how much stuff people were getting for their $10 admission.  They had bags full of freebies, not little bags either, huge bags. I was working, but I did have time to walk around a little bit on the way to the bathroom…….hahaa.  But I did check out a few things and got some free energy drinks. Bring some water if you can because I was so thirsty and all I had were energy drinks and no food.I was cross eyed by the end of the day.

Hope everyone has a good Monday.  This week is going to be screwed (maybe a couple weeks) because my mom (who is my babysitter) is going to go to MO to be with her sister who was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer on Christmas and only has a couple weeks to live.  Its going to be rough I am sure (not for me, for her, I will get by). It really sucks because she is only 60 years old.

I gotta go.late for work…as usual!

Yes,legs day.  Lets see what the DOMS has for me tomorrow, shall we? I killed them for almost 2 hours,incline leg pressed a nice 375 for 10 reps easy (trying to be nice to my knee)110 on the leg extensions, drop set the whole stack and  continued to burn out my quads til I wanted to vomit. Im doing a week of lighter stuff with more reps because I want to drop a couple lbs before next saturday. Turns out some asswipe stole the scale at the gym!  No way to monitor my weight and my own scale takes a weird battery of course, so I have to wing it. So I continued on with all my normal leg stuff…..seated curls,(I also change foot positions between sets now)laying curls,adductor/adductor machine ( I now do this differently,when I squeeze in, I hold it for a second and will be dying tomorrow I hope) Mid week I will be doing the walking lunges if the gym isnt crowded as well. I also skipped out on the romanian deadlifts because someone was hogging the rack of course.   It was a good day,but like I said before.lately the legs are not sore after my workouts and I feel like I wasted a day on them. I don’t know if it’s my supplements or I am not working them hard enough. Guess I have to do progress pics, but legs are weird because whilebulking its hard to tell if they are bigger.  My bodyfat is not real high, but I am fuller I suppose.  After awhile, all you have to do is pinch your own body to know to your approximate bodyfat.

Oh, I was in the gym and saw a girl and a guy  I hadn’t seen before and guess what? I wasn’t there 5 minutes and she had to go over and kiss him in front of me. Do I have to get a t-shirt that says,"hey woman RELAX, I don’t want your friggin boyfriend!!"??  That brings me to my current dilemma actually in which I have a question (non fitness) to ask you guys……

last year I met a guy and we became great friends. He came up here for my 1st show, but there was really no romanace going on and we stayed friends believe it or not. Anyway he is now seeing someone and mentioned me to her and it turns out I know her from here( bodyspace)……weird huh because they live in PA and I am from CT.  What are the odds? Anyway, she is not happy about me and him, but there is no ‘me and him’.  I found this all out after she wrote to me and asked me to meet her at the Arnold to hang out and stuff.  I like her actually and I think she is a cool chick and I was flattered she wanted to meet with me. Now I am a little freaked because I don’t know her intentions as he says she doesnt even like for him to mention my name…she may even  read this blog and get even more mad. I just don’t understand what there is to be so mad about anyway. I have a boyfriend and I haven’t seen this other man for almost a year. We talk about the gym and stuff and hardly speak on the phone,just text once in awhile. I just don’t know how any woman could feel threatened by me. Im not the type to go around hitting on anyones man anyway. So, I need your opinion.  Does she really want to meet me to be friends OR does she want to pick my brain and make sure Idon’t want this guy OR is she and her friends going to try to stuff me in a wood chipper? Im open to suggestions………

Delts,lats,quads,traps?  Are you thinking, "what the hell are those?" I know I did in the beginning. Lots of things in bodybuilding and lifting sound complicated and are hard to describe in words.  I could tell you step by step on what to do when you want a wider back, more defined legs, but showing is so much easier for me.  Its like when I was a dental assistant and we were doing sealants on a kids teeth.  My boss would say, "we are going to put on the etch and paint the sealants on your teeth and I would say, "we are going to clean your tooth with the tooth shampoo and then paint on your teeth like nail polish, then shine a magic light on them and make it harden" and then I would proceed to do it on their fingernail. No one likes to feel stupid, even little kids.  My point here is that you can read alot online and still not know what people are talking about. I know I don’t post the typical stuff like 20×10x12……what the hell does that mean to most people? Everyone is so different and has different needs.  I don’t know how many calories I eat a day, though I do know roughly how many carbs and how much protein. We all need to find what works for us and that takes time.  You may drop 3 lbs one week, keep doing what you are doing and then NOTHING the next week.  This just means you have to switch direction and try something new.

I read some freaky diets here. Women who are contest dieting and take in a bare minimum of food for 12-14 weeks.  I tell you I would friggin die if my breakfast consisted of a teaspoon of cinnamon and a multivitamin. You would be reading about me in the papers because I killed someone on my way to work all pissed off and hungry. You don’t need to starve at all. If you need to drop 30 lbs in 12 weeks, start earlier and try to maintain weight throughout the year. If you just want to lose the initial weight, don’t expect miracles as there are consequences to rapid weight loss….it comes right back as soon as you eat ‘normally’ again.(ask Oprah) I was one of those people who ate once a day and I still was probably 15% bodyfat. I know people who think in calories alone who say, "yeah, I only eat once a day and its less than 1,000 calories, so why am I not losing weight?" You know your body goes into ’starvation mode’ right? That equals ’skinny, flabby chick’ eventually. I even saw a Victorias secret model in a candid photo with cellulite. Even though she weighs 110 at 5′10′, she is nothing BUT bodyfat and no muscle at all. No doubt she looks crazy sexy in her pictures, but can she fill out a pair of jeans? I do not want to look like a popsicle stick in denim myself…no sireeeeeeeeee.

Im babbling today.  Too much coffee.  You want a great book with great tips…."The eat clean diet" by Tosca Reno is the way to go. Its easy to follow in plain english.

Later peeps, I have to go do legs 

Last night was a great abs night and I had fully planned to go do back and bis today, but I had so many errands to run and my gym closes at 4, so it didn’t happen.  I have that photoshoot on Saturday, so I need new undies.  Yep. I am doing some underwear pics this time. This guy does some nice work and makes you look all girly, how could I say no?

So, my issue today and everyday is my love/hate relationship with underwear shopping. Almost everything pretty is a B cup and that isn’t me.  I am contemplating a class action discrimination suit againt the makers of bras! I could hear the other women talking when I was in the dressing room.  "I am a double D. I am an F. My boobs spill out of stuff and fall into my armpits when I lay on my back" etc. I guess the only way to get a perky set of sisters is to get fake ones. All I want is a B for cripes sake.  I do tend to overthink things and worry about over the muscle/under the muscle issues.  I like my pecs, they make me feel badass frankly, so I don’t know which was to go with that one. You go under and when you work your chest, I hear they move around or you can break one.  Over the muscle and you get lean and they look like 2 tennis balls, gross and freaky unattractive and 4 inches apart. I don’t want that either.  Now, had I gotten them when I was a scrawny chick, chances are I would still be a scrawny chick. My sister got them and frankly I think she has only been looking in her mirror from the waist up because the lower 1/2 doesnt look so good….sorry sis, its true. (now she wants lipo)Also, I was worried that I would run into the "addictive" side of surgery and use it for everything and be tempted to get lipo, a nose job, bigger lips,ass lift,botox and a tummy tuck. Im happy I waited and got the rest of me where I want it (for the most part).  I don’t want to look like an OC housewife for cripes sake.  My honey doesnt care and says he would support me either way.   He says I am perfect as I am….aint he sweet? So, as of now I am still undecided. Try to find an 36-38 A cup. I dont think they exist. Like a damn baby pidgeon. All I really want is my tops to fit and my bras to be comfortable and not slide around and poke me.  Who the hell decided to put underwire in the a cups? They dont need support!  there is no droopage!!! Musta been a dude.

I will post a better blog later.  i have some good stuff to write