THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

I will  not have internet access, so I won’t be able to reply back to anyone.  I will be back Monday morning.  Hopefully with lots of pictures and videos for everyone who wanted to go to the Olympia and couldn’t.  Since that day I picked up the muscle and fitness magazine and saw Michelle Flake with all hermuscles and in her rhinestone competition suit, I was hooked.  I didn’t know that women could have muscles and still  look feminine.  I didn’t expect to step on stage in a bikini at the age of 38 or get to work at one of the biggest fitness expos on the planet!!  Hard work pays off.  If you want something, you just have to work hard and go for it.  It isn’t just the physical part either, it’s mental as well.  When you succeed in one thing, it psyches your confidence and you go for more.  I know I will never compete at any of the big shows, but I can LOOK like I do, right?  I can make my videos and show one or two people that they can go to a gym and not need a trainer or spend alot of money.  I did not have a nutritionist, a trainer, expensive suits  or experience.  I think it’s all about having heart.  Ever see the  movie Rudy?  He’s the little guy, the underdog and no one believes in Rudy BUT Rudy.  Now he is a legend.  I may not be a legend, but you get the picture.  He wasn’t the best, but he had a love of football and never gave up.

I have to find a gym in Vegas.  I cannot go four days without doing something.  My bag is packed to the max!  Holy crap, I have alot of stuff.  My ride will be here soon and I have to get going.  Talk to you all soon and God Bless!

Tomorrow night at this time I will be in a place far away.  Never done this before.  I have driven to Florida and up New England a couple times, but this takes the cake.  I do lots of things alone, but I don’t really like it.  I have to either sing or hum when I am doing something alone (okay, take your mind out of the gutter guys).  Seriously, you will probably see me moving my lips in some of my videos.  I am singing.  I sing in the car, I sing at work (yes, I suck at it and people do tend to point that out)I also catch myself humming when I am grocery shopping.  It’s weird. 

No workout today.  I will do some dumbbells tomorrow at home before and after packing.  Better than nothing.  I actually got depressed at work.  I haven’t taken a week off in Over a year.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really like to have to go to work everyday, but I am a routine person. Then everyone needs a hug goodbye……..ewww mshy stuff.  My office mamager even gave me her Virgin Mary from Lourdes to carry with me on the plane because she knows I am afraid.  She calls her traveling Mary..too funny.

A  for the tanned freak.  I painted on Jan Tana show tan to sleep in.  I just can’t tan enough normally with my skin.  Im’ part Irish.  It works good, but you have to get someone to do your back or look like  a dog trying to catch his own tail when you try to do your own back. My lats get in the way…….but that is a good thing.  After this (near) week off, I am going to come back and go a little heavier for about 3 weeks, then light again until the November show.  The thing is, you can think you look fantastic and place really badly.  This is what freaks me out.  How to know what the judges are looking for.  Muscular, ripped, rounder with no cuts?  WHATEVER!!  I am just going to do my best I suppose.  I wil blog again before I go.  I am addicted to coming here and will have no internet access!! You guys are my rocks .  Just to know that there are other people out there who love the same thing I do, makes me feel less like a freak.

I have to sleep…you should see how many pillowcases I have ruined with tanner…….ewww

Its stupid, but I kind of feel like crying…….I am so used to my routine that stepping out of it is going to be hard.  My hotel has no gym……..isn’t that a cardinal sin? Thou shalt not be gymless? 

I did a full body fast workout thingy tonight, cardio for 10 minutes.  The gym was super hot tonight and I had pants on, so ten was good enough to make me smell like the dead.  Then I tanned against my better judgement.  Yeah I know, melanoma, but I have only gone 6 times and kept my make up with my spf on.   felt like I didnt have enough time to do a decent workout, but it was better than nothing.  On a better note, I may have lost 4 lbs in the last 2 weeks.  I say MAY because I got my "lady friend" today and you ladies know what that does, adds 2-4 lbs of water under your skin.  Weirrd thing is, I didnt even know it was coming.  I didn’t PMS except I did get misty about the lady on the news who found 3 of her little dogs dead in the morning.  She was crying, it was sad.  Who kills little dogs?

Anyway, I was thinking of writing a contest prep blog soon for figure.  OR fitness or bikini.  Whatever your goal is.  I suppose we could do some bodybuilding stuff too, but figure is one of the hardest to get your act together if you are competing for the first time.  We can network and share tips.  It will be fun.  Lots of ladies here love figure and it needs to be made more public!!  Muscles and beauty, what could be better?

Hope everyone had a great day.  I have no new news to report.  I did find a ride to the airport!!  There is a GOD and apparently he comes in the form of a co workers hubby named Tim.  Have a great night! 

I smell the estrogen………whiff.  Today was freaking out day.  3 days til I leave for Vegas.  never been on a plane alone, only been on a plane 2 times, up and back from Florida for about 2.24 hours each way.  Then I call about my clothing order, it is backordered.  That sucks.  I have one outfit for the booth and I am not working it in booty shorts!  Then my brother tells me he cannot give me a ride to the airport, but he may know someone who can.  Yeah, UNRELIABLE people……..I called a couple car services $110-190!!  WTF?  For a 40-50 minute ride? There is no way I can take my wheezing piece-o- crapola minivan to the airport.  I’ll figure it out I suppose.  I (whats up with the slanted letters?)  Also, I had to have my nails done and decided to get my first pedicure.  I’m ticklish, so thats not a good thing and also I feel a little weird having people do that kind of stuff.  I always feel like, I don’t know, like…….let me think of the right word……I just feel bad for the people who have to do other people’s feet and stuff. Like I could NEVER have a maid or anything.  Perhaps I put myself in other peoples shoes too much? Like the poor lady who works in the bathrooms at a nice club or casino…….get it? But I tip really good….it’s my guilt. I just started having my nails done and made the mistake of doing overlays.  Now I am screwed because my real nails are under acrylic and it’s like a trap has been set.  You have to let them grow out and look like crap or keep doing it.  I think its a conspiracy  or something. Oh, and the eyebrow thing.  Hey, it’s $5 and I suck at eyebrow plucking.  I suck at alot of girly things actually.  I clean up well, but I have no idea how a woman can spend an hour getting ready to go out.   I’m a ponytail kind of woman.   God bless you women if you know how to make make up look good under florescent lighting.  I just look like moldy cheese.  What other girly thing to talk about?  Oh, supposedly you provide your own outfits for photoshoots.  Have you seen some of these?  I think I visited every stripper and cross dressing site on the internet!  I did try to find sexy stuff.  I didnt get any french maid outfits or any bunny suits.  I got booty shorts and some tops and some bikinis.  My 1st set of bikinis are way too small.  In the way I say SMALL… I mean SMALL! These things are just string and triangles.  There is barely enough to cover the upper female area of the nether regions and it is not EVEN a thong width in the lower part.  There are no teeth there……….so why the floss? I think I made myself blush actually.  I got 2 others that are better.  I posted a couple here.  Tiny, but coverage is there.  Funny thing is, I went into a dressing room last weekend and their mirrors still made me want to slash  my wrists.  They need to ban those things!!!  I did not train today. I needed a chill out day and I had to go to the bank during my lunch hour and be a responsible adult and pay some bills.  Oh, and I tanned a total of 5 times.  let me just tell you that tanning bed adds 5 years in 5  visits.  I am not happy with it.  I guess I will just use the face stuff.  If you know of any good face tan make-up . let me know.  Its a given that my face will kind of need to match my body and I am not so good at that yet. Also, if you want to talk about tanning products for general and for competitions..I have tried them all! Hit me up.  Traing blog tomorrow night.  Going to hit up a full body lifting burn and do some cardio. 

ships log day blah,blah,blah…………..

Legs day as usual, was planning a light day….LIGHT day, so I get there and it’s pretty much empty.  YEEE HAH!!  I love that.  I went after one and they close at 4, and seeing as it was a beatiful day…..a vaste empty space with all my buddies (the weights and that one dude with a fanny pack of course)  He’s actually very nice, told me I look dangerous…hehee. He’s very intense, it’s admirable. Moving on.  My intent was a light legs day as I had to do bloody cardio.  I started with the usual incline presses, just 25 on each side and warmed up, onto leg extensions created by the master Charles Glass lying back on the seat, legs in full stretch.  You only need about 80 lbs to kill them.  I tried the same seat positions on hams and adductor and abductor machines and its a whole new ballgame. You get FULL rangle of motion, whole leg working, try it.I promise you will like it. Kickbacks on cables as usual as well as glutes isolator.  My newest fav is the laying on the bench under the smith and doing leg presses that I talked about before.  You can find Jenny Lynn doing it on Charles Glasses video series.  I will tape it.  In between those sets (85 single leg 135 both legs) I do seated pull ups on the bar to keep the heartrate up.  My pullups are certainly improving this way. I also did some hanging leg raises and leg lifting on the bench in between leg sets. I really don’t think there should be a big rest period anywhere. (for me anyway) It makes me feel like I am wasting time of which most of us do not have, correct?  I did some free squats, none on smith cus it bothers my neck and doesn’t rest on the rear delts as well as I would like.  Free squats without a spotter can really only be done with lighter weights unless you want to fall over backwards. I can get down to parallel, but thats about it. I also did my stiff leg deadlifts. 

I think I got a little workout sick today.  Sometimes when you bust ass, especially legs, you feel a little strange for awhile.  I think it’s due to the temperature  increase. My butt and legs are always a little hot for te rest of the day.  I finished up with the bike for 20 while reading Planet Muscle. 

The rest of the day involved laundry and laying on the sofa.  I CHEATED with 2 rice cakes smothered in peanut butter……..hold me back……..Im devious now…….BUT I did it for the carbs.  I only have veggie carbs today, so I was due.  11 per ricecake actually.

And obviously, I am not naked in my new avi.  The was some nipple-idge going on, but I hid it.

Have a good night.  Im beat

Training went well.  Easy day, shoulders, calves and forearms.  I did 10 of cardio pre workout(step mill) and 10 after on 2 machines, some cross training stuff that makes you look like you are going in slow -mo and you kind of look like an idiot.  I am also making tons of connection for next week.  My gym Manager Troy, had just spoken with Monica Brant and she will be competing according to him!! I get to meet her!  I know she is going to be super busy, but I guess there is something set up at one of the clubs poolside on Sunday afternoon and he is going to hook me up and tell her to expect me there! SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Troy is awesome, so much positive energy.  I also spoke with Dan Ray, one of the photographers and he is going to set me up wioth some others who will pay me for pictures.  Dang, who can say no to making some money?  Not me, I have oil to buy this winter and my ass hates the cold.

I dropped a couple lbs.  I weighed myself early in the day and it comes up 116-117.   4 more days to go. You guys know I am dying to see my teardrops. 

Also, if you want to ask me about my diet and workouts I am going to have to refer you back to my profile and videos.  It is far too time consuming to answer all the mail I get. Please don’t think I am ignoring you!  Going lean diets are pretty standard everywhere.  I would reccommend the "eat clean diet" book by Tosca Reno though.  My results are a combo platter of dieting and seriously hard training.  If you are too nervous to make noise and sweat like a pig and grunt a little while you are working out,  results will take much longer.  Personally, I am a fitness FREAK.  I live it and breathe it, constantly think about upcoming shows and events, planning meals and workouts, its an obsession I admit fully. It takes over your life and becomes your life.  I know not everyone wants that!   I didn’t start out this way, it just happened.  BUT let me say, if you feel it and you love it and you want it so bad that you can taste it….good things will come!

Oh my GOD.  I am so nervous.  I posted a picture of my current self with my camera phone because my regular camera washes me out.  I think I started doing cardio 2 weeks ago and I am seeing a difference BUT no weight change!  Isn’t that weird?  Maybe it’s because I weigh myself after dinner at the gym?  I do at least 30 minutes, and hour if I can get it.  I THINK my quads are starting to show more definition as well as my hams.

I am no longer a Gaspari tester and I ran out of Superpump250.  I have to order some more because I am kind of hooked on it.I dropped creatine for the moment because of the water retention.

Tonight I did some abs training and threw in some shoulder presses in between.  I did side bends on cables, hanging leg raises, bench crunches and my ever loving cable crunches.  There is just something about going balls to the wall on cables, like praying to me…….in your mind you might be thinking something along the lines of "eat that bitches!".  Its like the monks and their meditation to me.hahaaaaaaa.  A woman approached me tonight and asked about my butt exercises.  Funny thing is she is 25!!! That felt great seeing I am older………MUCH older.  Okay, EGO boost.  She is actually the same woman who comes in with her boyfriend ( he always stares at me when she isn’t around and says hello, but whan she is there…….eyes straight ahead baby) Well, first time I saw tem together and I used a machine near him, she came right over and planted a fat kiss on him right in front of me.  I was thinking, "damn, dude, she just pissed all over her territory".  I find that funny because I don’t want anyones boyfriend. I don’t care what you look like.  I am not really interested.  I suppose I will bump into someone someday and get all "mushy and gushy", but I don’t have that kind of mindset right now.  Also, taking someone elses man or woman is a crappy thing to do to someone.   The less damn drama in my life…….the better.

Once again……I digress.  I did 20 on the step mill, 15 on the bike with the chair seat and 5 on the regular bike, just to see if it would hurt my ass.  I was all alone in the huge cardio room.  The gym is a vast wasteland on friday nights NO ONE there except for the people who live the " fitness obsessed " lifestyle. 

What else?  Oh, I talked to one of the photographers shooting me in Vegas.  He just got hired by realgainz magazine.  We are going to do a desert shoot on Sunday morning.

I also blocked the guy who was emailing me nasty stuff and reported him.  He sent me a note of apology, but I do not accept it.  He has a black soul.  I found out he was writing the same stuff to another woman here and probably others as well.  So much for me trying to be nice and not hurt his feelings. 

Tomorrow I am doing calves and forearms as well as some lats. I am basically doing a competition workout, nothing heavy and I miss it!!  Later peeps!!

 This is from someone who has been writing to me for quite some time. he is 23 and lives in the UK. He wants a relationship with me and I was nice at first, but his letters got more insistant, so I told him I was seeing someone.  (Notice I never really discuss my dating status here? THIS is part of the reason) So he writes that he may kill himself to try to get me to feel sorry for him and he has made this statement to me before. So, he starts to send me emails on myspace telling memy Marine son should die and maybe it will teach me a lesson!  Teach ME a lesson? This guy is a KID.  I have more lessons in my little finger than he has in his whole body. I blocked his profile and he created several more.  He is also on this site!  I will report him here as well.  I have gotten some hate mail before, but this was the worst!  What kind of human being tells another their child should die?  I think this guy should be on his knees praying that we never meet because no one would be able to pry my hands from around his neck.  OUR military kicks ass!!!!!!!!!  THEY are BRAVE, THEY DIE for US!

Thanks for letting me vent.  I was just soooooooooo damn angry.  You never talk crap about my children. You may not like me and thats fine. BUT you ever speak ill or harm my kids and you will see a side of me you wish you never had.