THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

So, I’m  bored.  Yeah I know, what’s new?  I think I have turned into one of those high energy freaks that I used to hate.

I was thinking about my next figure show.  I know figure gets a bad rap and some organizations are "fluffy", but I have been working my butt off 5 times a week. My initial thoughts of figure, as I had never attended a show, were of the Olympia figure women such as Monica Brant and Mary Lado.  As it turns out, I was very lean and lost to women with much more bodyfat than I had imagined they would have.  Some of these chicks just get a dark tan and put on an expensive bikini.  It had NOTHING to  do with muscles.  So, here is my dilemma….do I want to do bodybuilding? I’m not big, I’m 5′3", 120lbs, if I do a great deplete for my size I will lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks time. 5 in the last week.  Is there a place for me there? Do I have a figure body? I suppose some of the dilemma is that bodybuilding women get a bad rap.  They sometimes come out looking manly and some wear no make-up and their hair up and are so plain!  Can the two be mixed?  Figure was intended for women who workout hard, to show off their hard earned bodies , and blend it with feminity.  It’s so convoluted now.  Either I have to go softer for figure or harder for bodybuilding………..I’m confused. I guess I have 3 months to ‘figure’ it out.

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Yet another good workout……….blasted bis’ got a few 25lb  db curls off for a personal best.  It was at the end of my workout, so I was wiped!  I met a few new people in my gym.  You know the people you see every day and never talk to?  The videos have opened up a world of questions with people, so now they actually approach me to chat.  Seriously though, there’s a gym etiquette where chat should be limited to 5 mins………….right?

Anyway, got some pretty good videos and am off to the beach with the 4 little rugrats (only 2 are mine), then to the mall for my daughters boyfriends birthday gift, then drive her to a party, then,then,then……………..it never ends.  I have a huge pile of laundry, but it’s not going anywhere.  I am just trying to catch up and not miss the fun stuff in life!!  I will sleep when I am dead…….

It’s off season, so I am not as ripped as I can be right now. I just got in a great ab workout, took lots of videos and I must say it’s getting easier to talk to the camera without feeling like a total idiot around other people.  I bet they think I have a porn website….heheheeeeeee

Tomorrow is bi’s and back, going to throw in a little shoulders for fun.

I am doing an ab series tonight, so if you want to know how to get them, actually how I got them you can watch when it’s posted.   In a nutshell, I go heavy on abs.  I’m so sick of those infomercials and their gadgets telling you that you can have abs and taking your money.  Hard work, not little springs in a $19.95 machine get you abs.  It’s diet too. How come the ab workout video they sell doesnt have people with visible abs in it?  Sure, flat stomach are abound, but thats not "abs". How many gadgets have you bought that are now hiding under your bed or in your closet?  How many back breaking crunches do you do?  I don’t do any laying flat on my back, it curls the upper spine on me and thats not an area that usually bends, so it isnt safe.  One single exercise is not going to give you abs. 

I ate lasagna and cake yesterday at the party and had a couple smirnoff ice’s.  Dieting doesnt have to mean "dieting".  It means eating clean, so the cheat days are just fine. One day to eat a little less sensibly isn’t going to ruin you for life.  I got in all my supplements from BB.com and the syntha 6 has to be the best whey protein on the market. 200 cals per scoop and it has carbs, but so worth it because of the taste!!

Have to get to work……..it’s friday and I am out at 2!!!  I love the short day at work, it makes life tolerable.

Fern

People (women usually) ask me how I train.  Well, the weights don’t know I posess a uterus, so I just train.  I cut my teeth on muscle and fitness, take supps, sweat, make faces when I train (yep, look like a sweaty pig), so I suppose I just train hard.  I do not use less than 10 lbs dumbbells (a gallon of milk is 8 and we all have carried that right?) Start picking the weights up and owning them.  No guy in the gym wants to see a woman giggling and saying it’s too hard and that you may break a nail.  You may be afraid to walk into the weight room for fear of how you are going to look, so don’t act like a princess.  Then they WILL think you don’t belong.  Before long you will be owning the weights and seeking the burn.  That’s where the real sexy you will shine through.  I never asked a guy to pick up a 45 for me.  They  know I do not mess around back there and I think they respect me as an equal.  Stop being so self concious!  Think about how self concious you are to step out onto the beach in a bikini and use that as your focus. 

I trained chest and tris last night.  Yep, elbow was tweaking during one of my favorite cable workouts, so I just did more benching and used the machines more.   Tomorrow night I am doing an ab series as well as lower back, maybe lats.  We’ll see.  A few people asked about the camera last night.  I can’t hide it when it’s on a tri pod and they were really receptive of what I am doing!  I was afraid it might make them uncomfortable.  I have to actually talk to the camera, but making myself do it, helps with my shyness issue.  At first I was like, damn I look like crap all sweaty and greasy…….but got over that real quick.  Now, I really don’t care, it’s real, thats what counts.

So, happy thursday.  I have a party to attend tonight at Dr. P’s house on the sound.   Going to be sipping some Pina coladas and singing Copa Cabana out by the water………………

So, did this wrestling guy kill his family because of roid rage?  I have to say no. Steriods may enhance the underlying emotional history, especially if he was taking massive doses, but I don’t think it made him kill.  I must admit I haven’t read all the gory details because the fact he killed his own child just rips my heart out…….I have a 7 year old. 

The whole story is going to highlight steroid use and put anyone who goes into a gym and comes out looking good ,suspect of using steriods.  I would never touch them myself, for fear of what it does to your insides even more so than your outsides.  I know people who use them or have used them in the past.  Not one person is violent and in fact, one is the happiest guy on the planet! 

So watch out because people are going to be standing next to you in the checkout line fearing you are going to go into a crazed killing spree.  Thats usually left for the skinny, quiet, repressed little dudes who may or may not work in the library…..or even the post office.

Please understand, working out produces endorphins, your body’s own opiate like pain killer.   We go grunt and get angry with the weights, not people.  then we catch an endorphin rush, suffer from DOMS for 2 days and are at peace. 

Gotta run, chest and tris……….I am going to add more weight because the elbow is feeling good tonight! 

Tonight is chest and tris as well as shoulders again.   I have added in shoulders 2 times a week.  I will post more later, woke up a little late drooling on the sofa, rather than my own pillow……….ooops.  I think I am also going to hit up a little light legs mid week to compliment my Sunday leg killing day.  I am happy with my overall gains, but have a few weak spots.

Talk to you guys later!!

Okay, I added pics to my gallery.  I hated to take down some of the old ones because I like to show progress.  I am happy to say I think I look good with clothes on as well and not so on!!  My shoulders are progressing when I compare them with my old shots.  I want to thank all of you for your support because I couldn’t have done it without you!!!  You motivate me to be a better, stronger more secure woman.  Your comments are always kind and respectful.  I do want respect from the bodybuilding world.  I want to be an equal and treated as such.  You have listened to my sometimes cranky tirades about trying to keep this site a respectful place.  I get mail from kids as young as 14 years old who want to be fit and want to learn from what they find here. Hopefully, it is something good to help them onto a better, more healthy future.  And to the Moms here congrats on trying to set the bar a little higher!!  I know I get on my little rants about America and all it’s issues with weigh, but we know it’s not just an appearance thing, it’s a major health crisis.  Congrats to the 5 women from my office for trying to stay regular in the gym!  You guys rock! 

To try to be a part of a "mans world" and gain respect is a difficult thing.  I train just as hard , if not harder.  I lack testosterone and it bugs me a little sometimes.  To have challenged my once shy self into walking into the gym alone is huge for me, now I walk back there with 20 or 30 men and sit in the middle.  I sweat, I grit my teeth…….I work and it all feels so good.  To have walked on a stage when I had never even attended a show was a personal milestone and I guess I just want to share my good feeling as much as possible.

If I can change one person who sadly does not like themself, then my whole effort has become worth it.   I have been to the edge, I have looked down and I know the feeling that you get when you are there. It isn’t just about the weight, it’s about believing in yourself, say "I can"…..and doing it.

A woman with two kids wrote to me and she says she looks horrible………..that’s sad………she’s beautiful.  It doesnt matter what she weighs, something about this girl is beautiful and I want her to like herself and feel good. 

My son calls from his base and if he is on the computer, shows his friends my profile, they say ,"dude, that’s your mom?" and my Nick says "Hell ya!" I am instilling pride in my children and being a good role model as well, what can be better than that?  That’s my brass ring…………….

Being here is like a merry go round……you go round and round and one day you too are going to grab that brass ring!!!

I must have done 200 reps or more on shoulder presses, behind the neck, in front, smith , hammerstrength machine, lateral raises (in front, to the side, to the back) shoulders on cables, added in lats a little with DB rows , then hit more presses til I though I would passout…….I kept my weight at 30 per arm on the machine and just about 40 on the smith, so massive reps was the plan tonight.  I can go heavy, but what’s the point?  I did legs yesterday, squatted littlemore than 50-60, but went ass to the grass, same with the leg press, maxed at about 200, but when I went lighter I got a better range of motion.  My workouts may be lighter, but they are certainly more intense…you know the drill……..eyes closed, singing (okay, lip syncing) to something hardcore and RRRRRRRRRR….got to grit the teeth and explode…….breate breathe breathe, and when you stop you glance to the side and some dude is looking at you like you are scaring him………………..damn, that cracks me up.  The whole time I am doing them, it’s like I am visualizing maximum growth and chanting "bigger shoulders,bigger shoulders" and thinking about my next show and Monica Brants shoulders.     Am I obsessed, maybe..do I care, nope…….

I become another person there. It’s a good thing……..

The site was being maintained and I missed it!!  Just wanted to stop in and say hi………….I know I am sometimes opinionated in my blogs, but one should never apologized for how they feel as you can’t help it.

Tonight I am doing all shoulders I think.  I am still not getting the volume I want so badly.  There was a kid in there the other day and his shoulders wer great!!  I remember when he first started going there and I havent seen him in awhile, and BAM, he comes in with these great shoulders and about 8% bodyfat………..Im jealous! 

So instead of squatting til I puke I am going to press til I pass out, lateral raise til I feel faint and all that good stuff……………….

Later,

fern