THOUGHTS OF A FITNESS FREAK

Today was kind of a crappy day for me.  I will not elaborate too much, except to say some people are givers and some people are takers and this means life kinda sucks for the givers.  I myself have a hard time taking anything, even gifts.  Giving makes me feel better and I ask for nothing except people to be nice and respect me….and my feelings.

I had a decent workout because it was an angry workout, but I actually said hello to more people.  I met a woman and her daughter in the locker room and they may meet me to hang out in the weight room sometime.  I never really met women before, cus they look at me funny.   Also, according to a couple people, all the men think I am married for some reason, so this makes them avoid me.  Im not the friggin plague for cripes sake.  Actually I pretty damn lonely most times.  You are overweight and  people just you, you are in shape people judge you….I don’t think any of us get it right…..we are all just PEOPLE. Am I a bummer tonight or what?  Just another lonely workout really. 

I trained chest and tris.  My bench was an easy 135 and I would have tried for more, but I am low carbing it today.  I stuck to supersets and stuff.  Then I went into the aeorobics room and tried to practice posing, but was a little self concious because it was earlier than normal and people kept walking by the window.  Plus I had long pants on, so you couldnt see my legs in my poses, so I may have just looked like I was banging out some exotic dancer routine.

I guess Im going to go.  My spirit is kind of crushed right now and I dont want to moan and groan

Did I say that before? I went a did a decent legs workout today.  I could go too heaVY WITH MOST STUFF, BUT DID GET SOME GOOD SETS oF LEG EXTENSIONS IN At 110 (effin caps lock button…uhgin) I continued on with some dumbbell deadlifts, leg presses on smith, squats on smith, seated and laying curls, cable kickbacks, leg press and supersetted with lateral db raises, roman chair, chin ups (up to 15 now) db curls and hammer curls.  I was sweating pretty good actually.  As it was not very busy I decided to go into that open windowed aerobics room and bang out some bodybuilding poses and work on a routine.  Screw what people think……if I am a freak, I am a freak, but a happy freak!  I have a great song called Ladies and Gentlemen, and I think it might work, but I also have an old ones by Living Colour thats kind of sexy too. Its got some serious funk in it, so I have to find out which one I am feeling the most. I also busted out some dance moves because I have this freaky little dance bug in me.  I don’t show it often, but I think it’s time to change that.  Whats the worst that can happen in my posing?  I will be barefoot, no damn 5 inch hooker heels to slow me up.    You know I do still love figure, but I think this is going to be more ME actually.  …and I am going to have fun with it!!!

I’ll start taping next week I think.  I have to be able to see what I look like when I pull a back double bi and spike a calf, not to mention a lat spread.   Some guy walked in to compliment my posing actually and asked if I compete.  I didnt want to go into explaining figure too much though, though I did say yes, but not to bodybuilding "yet". 

Hope everyone has a great sunday.  I am still kidless and its great!!!

I did train today, but still think I am having a bout of Lyme arthritis.  It flares up a couple  times a year amd at first I was thinkingni PULLED A BUTT MUSCLE, BUT NOW OTHER STUFF IS A LITTLE ACHY, and my knees are a little warm.  Exercise actually increases the synovial fluid in the joint, so I figured a workout would help me.  I was a little slow in my workout, but I kept going.  I kind of carb depleted myself a little (unintentionally) and that didnt help much with my energy.  I trained back and bis.  I was afraid to go too heavy though, so I probably cut my workout in half and did like 2 sets of everything I usually do but with moderate weights.  

Today I pigged out.  I ate so much meat it was coming outta my ears. I had cheeseburgers (no buns), hotdogs, sausage and some juicy steak.  I ate potato salad and macaroni salad like it was the last supper. I love picnic food.  My sister had a big bash and it was also my great nephews 1st birthday.  People brough huge fireworks and we sat by the river saying "oohhhh   and ahhhhhhhh" and sipping smirnoff ices, ok, I did a shot of grey goose….sue me. It was a good time.  Family time is always a good time, isn’t it?

Thats about it for my day.  Just one big fat picnicing feastola.  I have to get some sleep because tomorrow after my little guy gets picked up by his Dad….i am KID FREE!!!!!  This does not happen often and I have been raising kids day in and day out for almost 21 years. Im treating myself to a 2 hour workout of my skinny legs and maybe even getting my nails done with some of my birthday money.  Okay, thats lame, but its a ME day and we all need those.

Oh, I did get a shoot lined up with Nic Nicoletti.  Im so excited!  I have never gone this far for one before.  Its not til the end of august though because all my co workers took up the whole month. 8 years and I still suck on senority.  These women have been there for 20+ years for cripe sakes. I got another one this month here to line up.  He usually only shoots during the week so I need to take a vacation day to do it and it kind of sucks to waste them on that.  I said sucks a few times didnt I?

Anyway, I hope no one took a sparkler in the eye this weekend!!!

I was supposed to go to a picnic, but it didnt pan out and its super crappy out anyway….SSOOOOOOOOO, I took some birthday money and did some clothes shopping for myself. Yes, I bought clothes other than gym clothes, bikinis and jeans and tanktops. Clothes shopping tends to suck because like I said before, I cant wear stuff other women wear.  My waist, even at 27 inches isnt much smaller than my hips and my quads are fuller, so often I have jeans that I am jacking up all night cus my ass crack wants to come out and say hello. I also often refuse to wear a bra because they kill my back and lats and ride up alot.  Im always yanking at them and whoever thought to put in an underwire for chicks who don’t need support is an ASSHAT. Yeah, I need a wire digging into my bones….oh soooooooooo comfy. Honestly, pasties are just fine with me. Kind of like a flower shaped bandaid to glue on so no one knows when you are ‘cold’.   I actually picked up about 10 things, tried them on and they all it great.  Must be the birthday gods shining down on me because I also didnt want to kill myself with a clothes hanger after seeing myself in a dressing room mirror!!!!  Whats up with those mirrors?  First of all, you look either yellow or green and you’d swear your legs look like stubby tree trunks……sweeeeet.

I didnt train this morning as you can see.  I had good intentions but was lazy and didnt get out of bed until 11 and the gym closed at 12 due to the holiday. So tomorrow I will have to do some double duty.  Yep, working out on my birthday is my gift to myself.

Also go to www.ironlace.com and submit some pics of yourself if you want to be included on the site.  its for modeling fitness, muscle, whatever you have to offer.  I am the model featured in the headline on the main page!!!  ME a MODEL?  Its so weird.  I was the girl who got picked on ,tortured and called ugly growing up. I was always the last one standing when picking sides in gym class even though I could play sports. I couldnt get a date to save my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!  I guess life has a funny way of evening the score. I’m always suprised when a photographer wants to shoot me.  Life this guy in Florida.  He shoots some of the most gorgeous models and wants to shoot little tomboy me???  I think it’s helping me realize that I do not need to change myself to suits others needs and to stay who I am. Sure, I changed in the past 2 years, but it was into what I wanted to be and not what I thought others wanted me to be. Someone is always going to like or hate the way you look.  Everyones idea of beauty is different of course.

Im babbling, I know….its my inner thoughts.  Anyhooooooooo, hope some of you are picnicing your butts off and downing a few tasty beverages.  I’ll be around channel surfing on my sofa.  Happy 4th!!

Oh, someone wrote to me and suggested I spend money on health insurance for my kids instead doing photoshoots.  Point I am making here…….I have never paid for a photoshoot !!!  I get all my pictures for free.  In return the photographer gets to use them as he/she sees fit.  So, please dont think I am throwing all my money away and neglecting my kids.   Insurance thru my work is $500 a month and I cant spend a weeks pay on it! Right now, I think food and shelter is kind of important (and my youngest has it through his father.) I am not the only American without health insurance and luckily my kids are very healthy and hardly have ever been ill.  (fingers crossed).  I am working towards a better future and sometimes you just have to appreciate what you have for the time being, right?

 Oh, i FORGOT ABOUT MY TRAINING WHILE i WAS BABBLING ON ABOUT THE EMAIL. lAST NIGHT i WENT BACK TO HEAVY ON MY ABS AND i AM SOOOOOOO SORE. cAPS LOCK AGAIN…..ooops.  I did everything weighted and went up to 140 on the kneeling cable crunches…..ow……I also got some very nice emails from some ladies who are seeing their abs pop from trying a weighted abs routine for awhile.  You rock ladies!!!

Tonight I was having some back issues.  i think my lyme is flaring up a little, but went anyways and trained shoulders.  I did hammerstrength machine presses, cable rows to the side across the body, pull ups, threw in a little upright rows on a machine for back to help work out the stiffness and some dumbbell shrugs as well. I always do some dumbbell curls and lateral raises in between heavy sets to keep busy.  I probably socialized too much with the gym manager, but he wants me to write a testimonial for an ad or the website or something.  He tells people to stop doing too much cardio as well. I gave a guy in my gym some training tips, got him to stop doing too much cardio,modified his carb intake, he is now using superpump250 and Novedex and the manager noticed he was getting more ripped up!!!  The same guy told me 2 guys asked him if he was on steroids the other night because he is changing very fast, he was insulted, but it is kind of a compliment if something thinks you look so good you must be "cheating"….when you arent!! 

Anyway, not alot to report tonight.  Kind of a boring day, no bug up the nose, no dead mice stories……..so sorry!!!

What to write?  What to bitch about tooooodaaaaaaay?  Funny thing is, I don’t bitch much on the outside world.  I’m pretty reserved with some goofiness thrown in.  Bitching here is different, you say it, you get it out and it’s like releasing an overfilled tire…..pfffffffffttttttttttt…………..
….relief.

Oh, funny thing happened to me today (as usual)  I get in my car for lunch , turn on my AC and immediately something gets sucked up my nose….BLEW right up my nose, so I blow out like its dust and its a friggin insect wing!!!  What the Hell?  Why does all the weird stuff happen to me? Now I am just hoping it was only a wing and I don’t have a termite living in my brain………..Jeez………

I don’t like non training days.  I think my ass is “sofa flat” right now….instead of the sofa being the flat part, my butt is. So, what to chat about? I have sofa guilt. I did get a photoshoot offer from this great photographer, but he is in florida  and you can visit his website though it does contain nudes at http://www.michaelnicoletti.com/portfolio.htm (the site is under construction at the moment).  I really want to be painted gold and be photographed.  I think that is the utmost of “cool”.  I will attach some samples to this page.  (obviously you see them and I dont mean to offend anyone here!)

Talk to ya later.  Oh would you pose nude if you thought it would be portrayed as artistic?  Implied nudity? A thong?  I have a love of Greek Statues.  I think it would be beautiful to look like one………..even with a fig leaf.

I had to paCK UP MY WORKHORSE EGO AND decide not to do legs today because of my (possible) sciatic issue.  I trained chest heavy instead.  The guilt has been lessened and instead of missing a nice workout day, had a great chest day.

Flat bench 125

incline 125

pec flies 135 (up from 125 max) only got 2 reps, but its something

chest press machine 110

chest/tri dip machine I got 90, but had to use my whole body just to get the weight going

db press, just used 25’s at the end of my workout.  Everything else I did was heavy and I did some light seated abs and single leg, leg extensions with 35 lbs just BECAUSE………

I often get asked how many sets and how many reps I do.  I don’t stick to a certain criteria.  Sometimes if I am going heavy, I will stick to 6-8 reps, 2 sets or more and up the weight with each set until I can only get a couple out.  If I am enjoying myself and feel alot of energy, why not? 

"Perfume lady" came into the gym again.  I guess she is probably really nice, but her perfume kills me. I have complained about it before, yet nothing was done.  I have gotten severe sinus pain before when she comes in, its THAT bad. I suppose she just doesnt know she is using far too much. Luckily, I dont run into her that often.

Im looking forward to my birthday this weekend.  the big 4-0.  My sister is having a party for my great nephew who was born on my birthday and is going to be 1, so we are both having ‘milestone’ birthdays. I’m looking at 40 as a beginning, not an end.

Have a great Sunday

Ok, ass still hurts.  You should have seen me trying to get my sock on my left foot cus I can’t bend over. It t’warnt purdy……….

I did go to the gym, I did shoulders light today and didnt want to do too much.

Behind the neck smith presses

lateral raises

standing raises on smith

I trained with cables, did some raises and some crossovers super light weights though.

assisted dips, pull ups and chinups as usual

and some pull ups unassisted

I threw in some hammercurls.  My bis are actually sore from yesterday!!  And did some flexing/posing practice.  Im totally excited at the whole FBB idea.  As for figure, I don’t even need to diet, just jump into a show here and there for fun. I was looking at the OCB website and they like their girls hard, but require a T walk and that might stop me from doing it.  I have never really been comfortable doing a t walk.  I’m not sure why, just am. I walk ok in heels too!  We’ll see.  I have until september 13th to decide. 

Here is my new flexing/posing upper body video. I was just messing around in the locker room

So, I was feeling great and then….got a cramp in my left glute like a charly horse and it kind of shoots up my back and in my hip.  I think I hurt myself napping……….seriously.  I took a nap on my old sofa with a soft sag and woke up broken.  This sucks.  I never take medicine, but I had a muscle relaxant someone gave me and so I took  it. I just want the knot to subside.  Piece of crap sleeper sofa!!!!!!!!!!

I went to the gym tonight.  I did back and bi’s but partway into back, the arse starting hurting, so I stuck to bi’s.  I did not have alot of carbs in me, so my pump wasnt up to my standards, but I trained pretty heavy.  I got up to curling the 40 lb dumbbells a few times, and got a video of the 35’s , but was tired by then.  There were more people than normal for a friday night, so I had to wait to break out the camera.

the rest of the visit I did

single arm cable curls, ez bar curls 50 lbs ( getting too easy I can pass 12 reps) preacher curls 40’s and for back I was doing seated cable rows, bent over rows on the smith, single arm db rows, lat pull downs, lat press downs and single arm lat pull downs.  Like I said, I quit back early. 

I also taped a freaky vasularity video.  Im getting used to the idea of being a bodybuilder and entertaining the though so much more. Im scared though, but I was scared before figure too.  Guess thats normal. 

Well, gotta go to bed.  I will post the other videos, they are kind of funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnctjTF4cuo&eurl=http://www.zimbio.com/Cosmetic+Surgery/articles/11/MISS+BIMBO+WEBSITE+CONTROVERSY+TEACHING+GIRLS

Miss Bimbo is an online game designed for girls as young as nine, where players are invited to meet the demands of a voracious, virtual teenager whose needs include binge eating and fasting - and plastic surgery. Since its UK launch a month [ago, the website has attracted more than 200,000 visitors.

With a cursory glance at the rules of the “game”, parents of today’s computer-obsessed youngsters will quickly understand its insidious appeal.

Like so many virtual worlds designed to draw in the young, Miss Bimbo calls on the child’s instinct to nurture.The girl who chooses to play on this website is invited to adopt a character and provide for her care by performing online tasks to earn “virtual” money to spend on her charge. The more you play, the higher you climb up a ladder of skills.

She is a teenage mannequin, a “Bimbo” - complete with bunny-girl ears, pouting lips, blank expression and pneumatic breasts.

In stark contrast to the fluffy “virtual pets” which became a fad on the internet a few years ago, the Bimbo’s needs are not for food, shelter and exercise.

She must be provided with modelling jobs, diet pills, breast augmentation - and a fabulously wealthy man who will pay for her expensive tastes.

So, for example, when a player reaches skill level seven, she is advised: “After you broke up with your boyfriend, you went on an eating binge! Now it’s time to diet.”

At level nine, she should “have a nip and tuck operation for a brand new face”; at level 11, secure a breast operation because “big is best”; and on level 17, “meet a billionaire on vacation, catch his eye and his love!”

The website’s creators - two young men named Chris Evans and Nicholas Jacquart - have spent the past week touring the television studios defending the game as a bit of harmless fun.

“We are not encouraging girls to have breast operations,” Mr Evans explained, rather disingenuously. “It is just part of the game.”

According to Mr Jacquart, the game is itself a joke: “It simply mirrors real life in a tongue-in-cheek way.”

Neither denied that Miss Bimbo was designed for children as young as nine; instead they insisted that it is not a bad influence on young minds.

And yet child experts, doctors and eating disorder specialists have been queuing up to point out that whether or not the Bimbo game is intended to be ironic, irony is lost on little girls, who are much more likely to absorb the instructions as valid advice.

At nine, a child’s over-riding desire is to fit in with the herd, and this game sends out a powerful message that to be size zero, famous and rich is the ultimate goal, whatever must be sacrificed in the quest.