Moirae’s BodyBlog

I have not posted in this blog for quite some time now…but I have been working my way along my 1st and last journey down the figure competitor road….I say *last* , not because i did badly…I actually placed first in my class…

I really dont know where to begin with this…other than i learned sooooo much about myself and my body… I learned what a very self-centered, impatient little snot i really am…and how I really need to grow up sometime…I really hope I can…I also made an amazing friend who showed me what a *TRUE* friend really is..and I can only hope to continue to learn from her and one day maybe i can be as good of a friend to her as she is to me…

I learned that my body is amazingly versatile/adaptive…or maybe the human bodies are just like that in general and I just didn know it?  What a piece of artwork the human body is…

My suggestions?….  research -research-research… you must research ..find out your body type…read all and every article you can find pertaining to the type of event(bodybuilding,figure,fitness, etc) map out your diet from day 1 to the day of comp(realize of course you will change it many times over) but atleast you will have some sort of idea of what your getting yourself into.. also map out your training program the same..

At the amateur level i personally dont believe you have to spend loads of money to hire a trainer/nutritionist…BUT you do need someone that you can 100% trust that has experienced competing and knows what they are looking at when critiquing your bodies progress…..

However, on that note, you cant do it alone..you will need emotional support along the way..and on competition day you will need help with the tan, planning, etc..

reiterate here…RESEARCH…RESEARCH….RESEARCH..

There are still alot of things i dont completly understand about figure competing when it comes down to camaraderie, the insane deprivation, the fine line of it being a sport or fitness model pageant…..

im tired, bloated and naseauous from post comp binging..lol…i will cont more of this tommorrow…

l8r

soooo..i looooovveee the restaurant *Crispers*…. salads are always fresh and delicious…and you can have them tweaked with an extra chicken breast, etc..(at an extra cost of course)

well, i go there so much, one of the shift managers gave me some coupons for free food..one of which happened to be a for cup of cookie *nibblers*…I decided to use it today…so when my order came around I was like OMG!!!!!..I *thought* they would be small bite size cookies..like the ones that come in 100 calories snack paks…noooooo..AND i ordered peanut butter ones!!!!! and the cup was 16oz…i ate the whole cup of em too…every last bit of 12 of them…i thought i would puke…can someone say cheat meal?..lol  this was after i ate a garden salad with a chicken breast on it..and a 1/2 order of caribbean chicken flatbread…

where did i put it all??…o yeah…sent it off to the porcelain god (the natural way)…..lmao

but you know what?…it was worth it…i workout damn hard everyday..eat clean 99% of the time….most can vouch for me…some nibblers wont set me back…i wont let them…

damn they were goood….yummmmmmm

I want some gawd damn peanut butter….(pounds chest) but i know if i open that jar it wont be just a tablespoon….*cry*

I have amazing will power for some things..but not that *pout*

/rant off

i hate drinking water…it fills me up…blands out my gum quicker…and no matter what i add to it, its still bleck!!…but its the one thing that could make all the difference….soooo…whine, gripe, bitch, complain….(goes back to sippin’)

at points in our lives we put situations to rest and skeletons form in our *closet*. Some we dont mind  just *hanging them up*,  some require *packing up* and taping securely. therefore, nothing should get out and re-opening is highly unappealing..

but then we find ourselves compelled to expose/share these skeletons. usually these are initially *secrets*….I, for one, have secrets and skeletons. Most of which im not ashamed of. then why do I hide them as if they are secrets/skeletons? Because they are e not considered acceptable/ideal by the *norm*.

Dont be afraidashamed of your skeletons. always make sure you get *closure* tho before you pack them tightly away…..be accountable and love yourself for who you are despite your short-comings. ..not everything is a failure…its only a failure if you didnt learn from it..

its ok to have skeletons in your closet….

everything atm……

remind me again wtf im doing?…why?…for who?…

whine,bitch, gripe, complain…..just another day…

its after 11 p.m and im so tired…and my mind wanders…soooo..

is bulking like having a cheat day everyday?…hmmmm…hahahahaha

off to bed…

thats thats alllll folks !!!!

i commented about this on a forum thread recently..but i wanted to say more…

about once a week now someone comments to me about how i look…it used to be more often…but it has died down some…thankfully so…and i understand that ive made a major transformation over the past year or so and ppl are going to say something…..

ive actually been fighting the scale now for about 3 months or so…weight fluctuating up and down by 5-10#…but in that time my body fat seems to have dropped…gained some nice muscle development…and a tan helps too :p

but my trigger word is *skinny*….and i forget that *normal* ppl use this word as a compliment…i find it offensive..lol    ill be damned if i want to be skinny like television/movie stars and models….  dont get me wrong, i have no plans in being a powerlifter or just getting bulky..

but i do want lots of muscles with definition…and muscle does not = skinny…..ive even been eating more (but with proper timing within the day), adding more muscle recovery supplements, and gone back to lifting heavier etc…ive also cut back to 30-45 mins of cardio..varying the intensity depending on the body part i weight trained that day…

so if im called skinny one more freakin time im gonna just go off…the sad thing is i tried to politely explain to someone the other day that they were actually insulting me by telling me "you’re getting so skinny..your gonna waste away to nothing"….and today…someone walked by and said, "your so skinny"…i said "really?…damn i must not be working out hard enough"…she was speachless…

so gold’s gym closed and we are experiencing a slight increase in members of late… all shapes, sizes, races, cultures and……..gender…..sooooo…

there is a point to this post….please bear with me…

…well late last week i observed a very skinny, pale, white male in spandex biking shorts and shirt in the weight training room…i had never seen him before…he was with a *regular* who  also wears the same type of oufit…the *regular* will come in the back from time to time to do some light arm work with dumbells…the new member, on that particular day, was using a weighted bar(approx 12#) to do some side bends….he was doing them quite quickly and was moving his hips and buttocks also….needless to say he was doing this right in front of the dumbell racks at the mirror…at first i just passed it off as someone working their obliques/sides with improper form…however, after a few mins..it dawned on me…this guy is showing off….for who tho?…for his partner?…or does his partner enjoy seeing his *pet* dancing in front of the *big boys*?….

They were back again today…with the same little routine….

why do i find this inapropriate?..its no different then some young little cardio ho’s coming back to prance around and show off for 5 mins before they head back up front to finish on the treadmill….its no different then when i wear my shortest shorts on leg day purposely so that when i do my stiff leg DL you can see my amazingly tight hammies….or is it?

i dont consider myself prejudice…i am open to all types of lifestyles…i have a degree in sociology for gawd’s sake…but then why i am somewhat repulsed?…on the other hand i find it amusing for a few mins…..

Nevertheless, i will welcome the newest exhibit…i will observe and learn…..and in the meantime i will work 10x harder on my hammies

ok..this is just a totally off any topic but just a rant in general …

but why in the hell am i eating a grilled chicken salad atm??  i hate salad..i despise it…its what *skinny fat* treadmill jockey girls eat…..i actually even made my own raspberry vinigrette dressing to go on top of it…omfg!!!

someone give me some meat and some real damn food plz…

(runs off to the fridge)