On being single
It’s been a few months since I’ve started being single again. It’s been really hard, because I haven’t really been single since my mid-teens. I’ve been involved in what seems like one long relationship after another, back-to-back. Each time, I thought I found someone who possessed qualities that the last was lacking. What I never did was give myself the opportunity to really be comfortable with myself. It’s been really hard these past few months with many sleepless and tearful nights. What I realize what I am afraid of most is being alone, and how uncomfortable I am with myself. What I realize what I must do now to regain some of my sanity back is to find my bearings and learn to love myself again, and to truly be comfortable in my own skin without feeling compelled to answer to someone or be told what to do. I am learning to make decisions on my own and about my own life, without having any regard or input from anyone else. Sometimes I feel so desperately alone that I want to curl into a ball and cry and cry, yet I don’t want to see or go out with any of my friends. Other times I feel free as a bird, ready to take on the world. Most of the time I feel helpless and without direction. The best I can do right now is to occupy myself with pending projects, and tackle each one to completion. Each completed project is usually another weekend, and another weekend spent is another passage of time. Since time heals all wounds, I am hoping each day will be a little easier to live.
June 28, 2008 at 6:09 pm
What you are going through will not be easy, but you will come out on the other end as a stronger, more confident person. Being single isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Hang in there, and if you need to talk, you know where to find us. The community supports you.
June 28, 2008 at 6:25 pm
I’m sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time, but I feel like this, for you, is a major turning point in your life. The end of a woman who was dependent (for lack of a better word) on others for her own happiness and maybe self worth (?), and the beginning of a woman who loves and understands herself. Enjoy the journey… It is a beautiful (and sometimes sad and lonely) one…
June 29, 2008 at 7:44 am
I hope you are feeling better today..Sorry you are sad…But you are right..You have to love yourself first…THen you will find the perfect person for you…Smile….You are such a wonderful and inspiring person…Hugs..
June 29, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Keep your chin up girl….things WILL get better over time. Its a slow process but it really doea take time to find yourself and be a piece with yourself. Being single isn’t so bad
You’ll just have more time to yourself to your training to your friends, etc. You are totally an inspiration to me and you have always been so helpful to me. Ditto in the hugs
June 30, 2008 at 11:42 am
Hey, girl. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling down. BUT, my boss (whom I respect very, very much) gave me some advice (or maybe it was a warning) when I was having a hard time. She said that there will be points in your life that are going to hurt. There are going to be parts where you question who you are and what your purpose is–and, again, it is going to hurt. BUT that pain indicates GROWTH and once you stop growing–like a plant,YOU DIE. So, look for the lesson. You are an incredible, strong woman who is growing and changing and that is a good thing!
June 30, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Celebrate every relationship you’ve ever had. For better or worse, your relationships are your best teachers. Love yourself, be confident and at peace with who you are. Focus on you, and that which you seek will appear. When the time is right, and you are open and receptive, it will happen.
July 4, 2008 at 10:04 am
i just wanted to thank everyone for your support, kind thoughts, and words of wisdom. This is a new experience for me, and for some reason, very frightening. I have been praying to God for strength every day, and I know He is helping me on my journey.
July 4, 2008 at 11:10 am
I’ll tell ya what, I learned from my track coach who also was my consoler that I have security issues. I don’t stay single for long. Now just like you am very attractive and are a wonderful person. When bad things happen to me people can’t understand why someone would do me or you like that I’m sure. But I was afraid of my wife leaving. I’m only 20 and the world is scary when facing it alone. But you can’t let that hold you back from enjoying what life has to offer you. Think of what you can do now without having a guilty conscious. You can set any goal you want and go for it. I’m sure you like me you enjoy having someone to hold and call your own because you like that security of being able to fall on someone when life gets you down. But realize life gets you down to teach us lessons that make us stronger. In life there are no problems only opportunities for you to improve yourself and be better prepared for the future. I’m in your boat too, But I thank what ever higher power that is up there that has bestowed this knowledge in my 20 year old self that will hopefully lead to my successful future.
July 16, 2008 at 6:22 am
You are definitely in my prayers right now girl–I know how frustrating it is to feel lost and without direction. Keep doing what you are doing–God is with us in the valley and with us on the mountain top–you are just on your journey back to the top.
July 30, 2008 at 7:58 am
God always answer prayers, and you are definately in my prayers too! Look on the flip side. It is much better to end something that is not right for you than to be stuck in it.
Much Love and Hugs.
August 3, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I think that at first, you have to be true to yourself. Time does heal. it takes time to learn to live by yourself if you are not used to it. Even when you aren’t always in a relationship, when you get out of one, you have to relearn how to live alone again and think selfishly again, instead of thinking for two. I hope that you are feeling better. Once you learn to be secure with yourself, everything will fall into place. Everyone has there own time line on things. Some can get over things quickly, others can’t. My last relationship was 3 years ago, but i still hadn’t learned to live myself prior to that, so after my last relationship, i had to take a lot of time to learn things about myself and my insecurities. Luckily i am finally learning the art of being secure with myself, but it was a long journey. Hopefully, your journey will be very short. Just cherish each day and watch yourself as you grow into the woman that you have always seen yourself to be. Take care.