Legends of a School Girl in Fitnes

Well, if you guys didnt know, Im sure knowing me Ive probably mentioned it. But Im bipolar. Literally. I have prescription meds that would sell well on the streets lol But I dont take them. Im just a ferm believer in more natural remedies & challenging myself to mentally & naturally overcome obstacles. Ive found working out to be a fantastic stress re
liever & a good way to build up mental strength as well by challenging yourself to set goals and then surprising yourself when you reach them. Sticking it out in the tough times is my way. I don’t like taking the easy way out.

But I want everyone to know its not fun. I do not wake up everyday in a happy go lucky mood and just positive all the time. Im not one of those happy people you want to slap. Im very positive if you havent noticed, dont get me wrong. But I back my reasoning up with science always so you cant call me an optimist lol

Anyone who struggles with chemical imbalances or mental disorders knows you have extreme lows. hell, we all do. Its called reaction to life and unconsciousness. We all suffer from depression. I just think mine gets really bad. Sometimes I feel like Im mentally less equipped to live in this world than most people. Especially my high level of awareness, but its a gift and a curse. Most the worlds most intelligent people who have broken records in information and discovery were very lonely and disturbed. Its hard to relate to people who dont think as much or on the same level as you do. Ignorance is bliss and intelligence is burden. No way around it. Especially when you look like me and are basically five…no one listens [ok some people do] but people do like to question me. Ive just learned to answer with confidence no matter what I say, and to back my reasoning up with science [or bs that sounds like science lol jk]

recently however [damn, i ramble] anyway I hit a real low. I swear it happens every two weeks at the MOST & i freaking cant stand it. Im fine one minute then im down. & you feel like youre being reAlistic but youre not. Your mind is clouded & you really shouldnt take depressed thoughts seriously cause theyre just thoughts & moods are simply fluctuations in our level of consciousness, but if you do take them seriously they get much worse. Thats where we get the term "downward spiral" or "snowballing effect." Thats what happened to me and it always seems like when it rains it pours. But circumstances really shouldnt determine your quality of life. Life is the act of living, not the circumstances under which you live.

& dieting & exercising is the last thing you wanna do when youre down. Were taught that food is a comfort. So with depression usually comes binging. Or cheating in some way. The best thing to tell yourself is that The Food wont heal the pain, but it will make it last longer when the regret sets in.Its literally like crack. Temporary high, longterm regret. So dont give in. If you do, forgive yourself and move on. It happens.

Give yourself as much credit for your successes [everyday you dont cheat and do workout] as you beat yourself up for your slip ups. We all have them. Dont let professionals lie to you. WE ALL HAVE THEM. & Im not a pro. Im just someone who has gotten up everytime shes fallen down for the past 7 months. & your body remembers.

 I wokeup today after a massive breakdown last night feeling much better. I mean there were some triggers…family issues, friend drama [girls suck lol], boy drama [boys suck too], school this & that. But we can all count our burdens if we want & get into situational depression anytime we choose just cause lifes a b*tch sometimes. But I CHOOSE not to be that depressed, victim I used to be. i am a survivor now.

I broke my ankle two weeks ago, didnt let that stop me. Didnt cry about it. Havent missed a party. But last night I laid on this bed & cried to God because I didnt believe I could do this??? This contest means a lot to me…but I gotta keep my head up. God got me here. Humans do a lot but He holds the power in the end & whatever is IS because he let it be that way. Im still in the running WHAT AM I CRYING ABOUT??

Truth is its scary when youve never won anything. The closer you get to success the more you want to crack let me tell ya its ridiculous, the pressure. But only if you let it be a negative. Turn it into a positive!

So I got up this morning & i ran a mile. Made a PLAN to go to the rec with my workout partner tonight. & im feeling dang good. Im bout to go to work where I wil be surrounded by temptation but I will not give in. Because throught the tears and the struggles and the days where I just want to throw it all away..I didnt. & im still here still chuggin.

Set up a photoshoot for the 29th so yall can look forward to new pictures of a new me!
 

& thats how Im doin. DAMN GOOD. How bout you???

By the way I got my laptop back so ill be on more sorry for the absence yall know I love you! & for all of you that havent hit me up lately I better have a comment from you keep in touch guys were eachothers support system!!!

& thank you bodyspace for being my motivation. Never couldve come this far

So after no sleep for two days, about five breakdowns, and one during the test lol Freakin like the most pressure ive been under since…ever…I PASSED!!!

THATSRIGHT YOURE LOOKIN @ A 19 YR OLD NASM CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER WOO!!!

i did a happy dance i wont lie. It was all worth it. i swear prayer is the most powerful plan of attack for anything that seems impossible. Now its back to training. Congrats to everyone who made it to round 2! Yall scare me=[ but you also motivate me to keep improving!!!=] thanks to everyone who prayed for me it worked!!!

Everyone have a good weekend! FIGHT AND DONT GIVE UP!

Ok so i bought the damn test/materials this summer..intending to work @ my old gym which didnt happen. I got my cert but I wanted a better one so I went for NASM. & I was doing well for a long time but I reaaally wanted to get it done before school cause I knew I wouldnt be able to do both. I swear multitasking is not my strong point. But alas, i waited til the last minute & i was like Ok Im going to schedule the test for Monday. So I call on Thursday & they say I have to do it by SATURDAY>YIKES!!! OMMGG lol So I wanted an extention but my aunt was all mad cause I procrastinated so I decided to dedicate the next few days to strudying despite the fact that I am also hammered with schoolwork [which is why I havent been on as much sooo sorry guys!] but but ****ty laptop wont let me get on the internet so Im on the school comp.

I come in request of PRAYER. I dont know if you guys know anything but those of you who do know the book is 18 chapters I finished it the other day & i swear its extensive. Like…seriously. Im awesome if I pass, but getting there is hellacious. I really want this certification though I really think it will just take my training to a new level & give me MUCH more credibility. I gotta say Im learning a LOT. But Im going to be up all night studying trying to be as prepared as possible. I didnt do so well oin the practice exam but I targetted my weak points which I plan to tackle until I feel confident. Im not going to sleep until I master the material. Which is not like me @ all, normall I just say f*ck it & call it a night but I want to acxtually go anti-adhd & freaking finish something for once. Ill feel so good once I pass. So yall please pray for me. I brought this pressur eon myself but Im working hard to overcome! & Thanks to everyone who has supported me & encouraged me thru everything I love yall!!

Alright, so im sure by now Ive probably told everyone I know..it wasnt the best week lol Well,Imean the week itself, the events that composed the time period I mean, were not as catastrophic as my freaking MOOD fluctuations. Omg. Every single night its like the beast rears its ugly head & im just like wtf. I mean…circumstances changed very little, as they have for like a month now. But all of a sudden Im miserable. & What do I wanna do when Im miserable? Eat. & Im in keto, so if these moods come on one of my NON "eat whatever you want" days. & Im wanting to shoot myself lol I mean, i didnt cheat which I still cant believe. Because Ive become a master of reasoning with myself, which is sad, but whatever. Im happy Im past the point. like I may suffer my a** off but nothing bad comes from it & in the morning I dont taste something I shouldnt have eaten on my breath lol

But the good news is, Im free of my pms now. It is over. Thank God. & I have that feeling that my circumstances are about to improve as well. Which usually follows once you make it so that your mood is independent of them. Ive made amends this week with the people I care to make amends with. The rest, are simply burdens of which I am rid. I deleted my facebook for the time being. because it was becaoming more of a nuisance than a help. It just keeps me connected with people I dont want to be connected with. & My peers are not my peers Idc what anyone says. i have nothing in common with 19 yr olds, not even classes. My job doesnt stress me and neither does school, so I eliminated the problem @ the source. For me this is a vacation lol & the only one Im going to get so Im enjoying the peace & quiet & lack of distraction. Ive gotten a lot more studying done, been on time to ym workouts, and have been a lot less pissed off since I did it. So i dont plan on reactivating it until I..just am not annoyed with everyone anymore.

I got my funds straight now, which Im really happy about. Ive paid off all my debt, and after doing makeup @ the Texas State Championships on the 24th I ought to be in a surplus for once. i plan to put some of my money into a new account that i call my spending account. & then some in my bills account. & some i am going to use as a down payment for my new nutritionist, whom i will reveal after the deal is done. I need to get down in bf, period. & I am to close to the situation to do it myself. I want to make it to the finals, so Im doing what I have to. swallowing my pride, and getting help. I WILL be in the best shape possible when they look @ me.

Also, @ the beginning of the yr I had a fallout [huge] with a group of boys, we all screwed eachother over in some way or another, but we used to be good friends. I had to reshape my whole view of how this school yr was going to go because of their absence from my life…& we havent spoken @ all, in fact Ive beenn avoiding them for months, but today one of them spoke to me. Smiled & asked me how I was doin. I responded nicely like nothing was wrong because I am over holding grudges. For a political sake, it is better to just be cool with who you can. So I decided a long time ago if they ever wanted to make amends I wouldnt fight it. I just never thought Id see the day. i dont know whats going to happen now, but It made me happy to talk to em. Its been forever. It feels good to eliminate strife in your relationships. I mean whether we want to or not, we have to live with eachother. WHy not get along? If youre not careful your relationships will suffer and so will your workouts. Trust me. Ive learned that.

Also, this week has taught me the importance [as if i didnt know] of mental health in its relationship to physical health. So when I start my training business, and providing nutrition plans, especially in contest prep clients, I will surely be emphasizing mental wellbeing as much as I do nutrition. They go hand in hand. & it makes me see even more that Im making a wise, wise decision doing nutrition & psyc in college. I think its going to be a kILLER COMBO & ill be able to help a lot of people.

Anyway events coming up, Ill be doing makeup for the texas states & then homecoming is that night. I hope i will get to go out cause OMG I NEED TO SOCIALIZE. its been months since i danced lol not acceptable. Im officially a hermit. But anyway then halloween. fun fun fun!!! yess & That week Ill be taking my personal training cert exam & also starting with my new coach, which i am very excited for hes so good, so ive heard. its gunna take a miracle to help my a** but i think he can do it!

Otherswise happy training everyone. Everythings good on my end!!
& thanks sooo much for voting for me guys its given me so much motivation i love yall to death! & keep voting for my friends ashsimons, danny_j, and josephinedalton!! =]

It started out bad…missed my cardio to study. Its always a domino effect. I feel unproductive, less liklely to go to the gym, more likely to cheat cause I feel like I threw the day away as it is. So Im going to go into uncharted territory and walk you through what its like when youre in the belly of the beast,

The craving monster.

Youre feeling vulnurable, your mind slips out of focus. You can’t see WHY you should eat right. You question your logic. You wonder if your plan will even work, and dont let you be close to changing it. Cause then youre like "screw it im about to be really strict why not cheat now while I can?"
I work @ a place [myfitfoods] where Im surrounded by healthy delicious meals all day. The only reason I cant eat most of em is cause Im in keto. I eat the sh*t out of it once a week. I usually dont let the passing thoughts of eating it get to me cause I know Im not going to eat it so why torture myself? I try really hard to just accept my circumstances cause if you dont fight it, you wont suffer. But today…ugh.

PMS. ok i said it. It exists. & cravings lurk in its deepest trenches just ready to jump out & possess you! Its God awful & i hate it. Once a month I get real crazy and Im like is it that time of the month? & it always is. Tell me why Ive gone into the restroom & cried twice today? For no apparent reason. & Stress attracts more stress. So if you work in a public place, and youre stressed, stressful situations will attract to you. Itll be busy that day. People will need special accomodations. & Your mood will alter your perception so you see them all as uncooperative a**holes when really theyre just trying to get what they want/need.

Then…the notion of food creeps in. Basically its a psychological phenomenon. When things are going wrong, so you percieve, you are going to look for a cause which will either be a circumstance that is present or absent. So youre either going to want what you cant or dont have, or wish you didnt have what you do have. So thats why you start craving carbs instead of protein. You eat protein all day so that cant be the problem. You crave whats MISSING, no matter what it is. If you were on an all carb diet, youd crave protein. Its the human condition.

The power in cravings lies in the attention you give them. The second you even humor the idea that you could eat those things, it will eat you alive. You are resisting the situation. & because you do have the power to change it, you will. Its not like a breakup. Carbs are right there for you to have, this is your choice. [mine, because Im in keto]. But this is a common issue people in the fitness industry suffer from. The best thing that happens to anyone is when you get so mad youve f*cked off for so long, you finally get as determined to stick to the diet as you were to include what you were discluding from it in it.

& when youre upset, people are going to pick on you & make it worse. Their inner pain body will attract to yours & aim to bring it out. So youre more likely to give into cravings when youre in a vulnurable emotional state. Which I clearly am. & yes my circumstances for this individual day do support my mood being low, but i mean I am pretty sure my mood is making me see only the negative things. Im writing this because I am trying to vent. & get over this mood that Im in right now so I dont cheat. & If i get through this, I have calmed down during writing this, and I think I’ll be ok now.

I wanted to share, to let everyone know none of us are superheroes. We get cravings. Somehow we fight them. My tips:
1-eat with purpose, ask yourself are you eating this because you NEED to or because u want to?
2-will you regret it later?
3-Think about future goals and VISUALIZE your ideal body
4-write down EVERYTHING you eat everyday, and at the end of the day if you followed your diet as planned, write SUCCESS, and if you dont, write FAILURE. you wont want to write failure so youre less likely to get off track
5-when you want to cheat, eat what youre supposed to instead
6-wait like half an hour & see if you still have the craving
7-ignore cravings!!!!
8-turn to someone who can talk you out of it
9-Drink water-crystal light, sugar free gum, jello. Nough said.
10-relive past times when you cheated & remind yourself of the feeling

Really low moods are just fluctuations in our understanding that our thoughts r just thoughts. When we lose the concept, we start to take them too seriously. and then we get depressed. this can lead to cheating./ So battle the craving monster. Follow these tips, and come out on top!!

This ones entitled "road to the ironman" because everyday when I go to workout, everything I eat, every move I make now is usually dedicated to being worthing of standing on that stage in January. Im busting a** as much s I can to make sure that my body if flawless and camera ready when I post my final pictures before the panel decides who out of the top 15 will go to the IronMan. In my mind, its really hard to picture myself there… I mean theres endless questioning.

 Do I have too many tattoos?? am i too young? Am i commercial enough to represent bodybuilding.com? Will I be able to lose enough weight & gain enough muscle to be able to hang with the other girls?

Ive got MILES to go, like states to cross seriously lol But I mean I definately wont get anywhere letting those questions get to me. I wont even make it that far. So Im just trying to work as if I have as much a chance as anyone, just more work to do. Im positive, everyday no matter what & thats an accomplishment thats whats helped me get where I am. Truth be told Im most likely going to have to get some help with my nutrition, I think my workouts are okay..Idk. I mean yes Im a trainer & a nutrition major, like I know my **** & I do it for other people but I just hate doing it myself I feel like I can’t do it no matter how much I try. Like other peoples bodies follow the principles of science better than mine…Idk. Ill get it. Im just putting 110% in every single day. & Well see how far I can take this!

I plan to make the transformation Ive been hoping for this time. What else can I do? My mind is my strength, my determination is what has gotten me this far, I wont let anything break my spirit.

I wanted to tell yall Im doin good. Cause a lot of people thought like Im really depressed cause of my last blog but Im not. Just had a moment. eh, college is rough. You know the deal. But Im all good.

Im really just @ peace with myself thats why things improved. My circumstances havent changed much but I try to be aware of level of consciousness as much as possible so my moods will be independent of my circumstance, that way I can be happy the majority of the time no matter what happens & i can continue to function properly in order to reach my goals.

Anyway right now Im working out really hard. I do HIIT some mornings, others, low intensity cardio on incline. I eat the same things at around the same times all week then a cheat day on the weekend. That will change probably when I find who I want to do my nutrition. But for now, its helping me stay sane lol & its worked sufficiently @ least for maintenance.

I do legs twice a week & now im going to do a whole day just for calves & abs. Because my calves are small & i really need to work on them. I hit everything harder every week. Not necessarily just with more weight, but always something different. & for the most part I lift very heavy expecially my legs. I put them through hell. LOl but Ive gained so much freaking strength in this past 3 weeks its not even funny! I went from squatting no weight til squatting 155 & I can do 3 sets of 10 now. My hack squats Im pretty strong on those too. Went from no weight to 90 lbs. My legs press is damn good too. When I switched to wide stance I had to take it down a notch but Im up to 230 so thats good. i was just doing 270 narrow stance so I should be able to do it now I do 4 sets of 10. Guess i just had to adjust. Today I was like dude I should do powerlifting lol No, jk. No offense to powerlifters yall could totally kick my butt! awesooome freaking people. Strong like nobodys business. But anyway. So Im really just waitin to see the results now. I notice a lot of firmness in my legs & hamstrings now that wasnt there before. so i know Im making moves toward hypertrophy.

Overall Im feeling strong all together & like I really have a shot in this. Even if I dont make it, it has inspired me to mke some awesome gains & take some new chances & the boost of confidence was worth it!

Balls to the wall every second of everyday. On the road to the Ironman. Where no 19 yr old has gone before lol…

Thank you guys for giving me the HINT of this opportunity it means the world! & keep voting for my friends danny j, ashsimons, and joesephinedalton!

Im gunna write cause I feel like Im losing my mind. & I dont have anyone to talk to.
plus, doesnt it suck when youre depressed..cause people like REPEL from you unless your happy, so its not like if youre feeling lonely you can reach out to someone & theyll come hug you and hold you while you cry. Unless you have a significant other who is that awesome., which i dont lol conveniently, if you are experiencing situational depression, the likelyhood that the situation will be the cause of your recovery is slim to none. most the time things just get worse. But me…what reason do I have to be depresseD?

Nothin really, just lonely. I mean I know it looks like I have it all. & i swear I wakeup every morning & thank God for all my blessings & think "man, i must be one of the luckiest girls in the world". but alas, i am very lonely. I have a lot of stuff. New opportunities knock on my door everyday, and if they dont, I find them. Always. I have a lot of different friends. Most everyone who meets me likes me. Lately Ive even decreased the number of enemies I hve by making amends and mending fences. Yet I still feel like an outcast.

I never fit in well anywhere. Just a little bit everywhere. i dont have a specific circle of friends, and everytime I feel like I do..they alwys end up leaving me out. i dont play a sport or anything so theres not a lot of opportunities for me to make new friends. & i have plenty of acquaintances as it is. best friends are hard to make if you dont already have them at this age. & you surely wont find one if your looking. everyones already got one. so theyre eachothers priority all i can do is borrow. & Ive always had an issue with boys. I feel like Ive got what any guy could want and I work hard to keep it that way, but they always either take advantage of me or just arent impressed. Nowadays i think the media has a lot to do with that. I know its not all guys. But the ones I pick, yea. Something about a really good girl you dont have to chase is incredibly unappealing to the average guy. The good ones have to find you. But thats why were so sad. Cause we have to just wait around passing up the ones we want, to finally be FOUND by someone who wants us. Contrary to popular belief, no boys at my school really want me. & i dont want to settle for someone i dont even like. EVer since I got out of the 3 yr relationship with my ex in March, ive tried to find someone else it never works. So Ive been officially single for a long time now. & its frustrating. Cause I mean good things happen to me every freaking day but its just another excuse for me to want to talk to someone..whos not there. Every night I come home to my beautiful loft and all my stuff. Study study study. or talk to people until they get tired of me, always having to hold in what i really wanna say, except to you guys. Yall are my friends. But i dont have anyone I can be in the presence of.

Most my best friends are boys, and once they get gfs…or if they have their own group of friends..Im no ones priority. My sister is practically married. She loves me and i love her but she lives far & Ill never come before him. & my real best friend lives 3 hrs away. Actually Ive got a lot of AWESOME friends who live outside of driving distance. Seems like everyones got someone. Not me. & i try to be real positive all the time.

I dedicate more time to that than anything. & I try to share everything I possibly can because I know I could never be worthy of everything Gods blessed me with & what better way to give back to the Father than through his children. So i try to be here for my brothers and sisters and live right everyday. I know it will come back to me. But the waiting is long. & i do get so freaking lonely @ night.

Itll eat you alive if you let it. So goes the life of the girl who seems to have everything. next time you see her, dont be afraid to talk to her, shes probably one of the loneliest creatures in the world.

All I want to do right now is go get some food. something carby, and feed my face. I actually just want some digestive health planters trail mix. Its so good. but ill eat the whole damn thing & its 72g of carbs all together. & completely unecessary so im not. Im glad Ive gotten to the point this is all somewhat natural to me. So that when Im down to this point I still wont cheat. EVen when Im feelin really low & bein fit [which i dont think i am yet in relation to how hard I work] doesnt seem to fill the void.

Im not the most patient person I know but Im working on it. Im working on my inside everyday as much as I work on my outside, probably more. because there is a direct correlation be it positive or negative. & sometimes nature takes its course either way [pretty ppl can be ugly inside]. I just know that I try my best to be prettty on the inside. & if its not good enough for anyone, theyd rather have a friend who is fun, or just as crazy as them, then ill take that. I know God notices me. That Im trying. No im not perfect, but I dont think anyone of the people who judges me, spends one second in a day critiquing themselves. & i have. since I was old enough to think. Constantly trying to improve. & everyday I try to do things for others. What other purpose do I serve? Theres 98375874958 fitness models out there the world got enough aesthetic stimulation. I try to be that inner stimulation. Bettering peoples lives. not just creating the hunger with no means of ever fulfilling it…so everything will come back to me eventually. as long as Im on the straight & narrow. But, until I find some sort of reliable companion I know I will feel this little void. im sure Ill get used to it, itll just take time. & when I finally stop thinking about it for two seconds, there will come my blessing!

Thank you God ahead of time for all the things you have in store for me & for helping me through another day being positive.

I wont let this get to me. Im going to make yall, me, and Him proud!

For those of us who easliy lose focus, and then start questioning ourselves..logic and science can be a very useful tool to refer to. Especially @ moments of low faith & motivation. So Im going to break down the purpose of exercise in a logical, scientific manner so that everyone can always remind themselves when they are faced with the tough questipn, "WHY THE [INSERT CUSSWORD OF CHOICE] AM I DOING THIS???"

First off, our bodies are very adaptive machines. The Principle of specificity tells us that the body will adapt to whatever specific stress is place on it. so the logic behind working out, is to force your body to adapt in the way you want it to by placing the appropriate stress on it. For growth you want to put heavy stress on it, to train your body to be able to lift more or produce more force. For stability you want to train the body in unstable conditions so it will adapt to them. For power you want to challenge your body to produce more force more quickly, perhaps one of the hardest thing to train for because it is very uncomfortable and taxing. It makes SENSE. So when you are on your way to the gym, analyze your goals and challenge your body in the way that will force it to adapt in that way. It goes along with evolution and survival of the fittest. WHat are you trying to be fit FOR? Aesthetic [hypertorphy-muscle growth]? Performance enhancement? Weight loss?? Make your body ADAPT. & once it does adapt, you will have to change the stressor or increase it again. But make sure that youre not training like its a job. Youre training with a purpose.

Planning my workouts the day before by reviewing previous workouts & altering them, helps me get excited to try something new & go in there with new motivation. It also helps me not have any excuses not to do it. Because I have a purpose. & if i feel like ugh, why am i doing this? There is always an answer. When you start training because u have to, and lose your sense of focus and PURPOSE, refer to these scientific principles. THERE NEEDS TO BE A REASON FOR WHAT WE DO. Thats how the brain works. & Your brain will either be your driving force or your destruction. Because trust me, its GOING to ask questions. Be sure you can answer them, and if you dont know, ask. But the best way to stick to a program, hands down, is to know its purpose=]

K hope i was helpful! Thats all for today. thought id share=]

So as most of yall know, among the gazillion things it seems I do lol I’m also a certified personal trainer. But I wanted to upgrad my cert so I decided to go with NASm. Ive had the stuff since JUly but when my comp rolled around & school started I got sidetrackedd. [which i knew would happen] I swear Im so damn smart & super determined but DAMN I cannot multitask for sh*t! lol I can…but its tough! Im actually very meticulous. I write down every move I make & plan every second of my day..including the periods where it would be acceptable to be spontaneous LOL..This week it has been working very well for me

My biggest tip for people trying to obtain & maintain fitness & dont know where to start: BE METICULOUS. Time management!!! Plan your day! Luck favors the prepared & failing to plan is planning to fail TRUST ME. I know how to fail lol

But Ive been scheduling everything this week & Ive been studying a lot. Cause like I told yall Im considering doublemajoring in Psyc & Nutrition instead of just nutrition so Im trying to prepare just in case I decide to go for it. So Ive been studying probably 4 to 5 hours a day everyday even when I work. I have also picked back up my training materials & I plan to completely finish READING this week, then next week get with my friend to review & study. Then the following week I  plan to take the exam, however I havent scheduled that yet. which I suppose I should go ahead & do! Ive gotten the layout of the test[ distribution of question & points] & Im a very strtegic studier with an emaculate memory for some reason, so Im going to play on my strengths to make sure I ace it! So hopefully by the end of October I will be an NASM certified trainer & mayyybe start online consulting with some of you guys=]

I actually only have two clients right now, I dont really go looking for em, Im taking my time I just try to help whoever needs me til i can get my site up & then build my buisiness from there. No rush for me really, Imfocusing on education. Cause when youre 19 & you look like barbie [or teresa, if you wanna get technical lol]..noooo one tkes you seriously. & Im in no rush to get older! So Ill just get educated=]

I value my brain far more than this body Ive manipulated into something worth looking @ lol Always have. Cause back when I was NOT cute or skinny or fit, personality & brains got me FAR anyway. So i will continue to live on that!

But anyway my current clients are my sister & mY friend Monique. My sister weighed about 192 starting out shes 5′3 and GORGEOUS she just needs to lose a little weight and wants to so I put her on a diet [my strong point as opposed to the training part] & she is lookign so good! She doesnt see it and she says she hasnt lost weight but I see it in her neck and shoulders nd cheeks. ladies, we all know it comes off in mm in all the desired places FIRST huh? lol & Monique has lost 25 pounds in I think 65 days? Im super proud of her! Made her new diet today so well see how that goes! They make me happy=] They dont think theyre strong but I do. Thats why I want to major in psyc as well, Im far more gifted with the mental aspect of working with people than the physical part. i wnt to be there for people when they feel like they cant go on & I love being able to tell them scientificlly proven reasons why they should believe in themselves. Also I will tell anyone anyday to have faith in God because when science fails, he does not.

Anyway so thats my day, very busy but fun & im still feelin positive & rejuvenated & focusing on keeping that way throughout this whole journey! Also, my fitness empire that I plan on building..Im thinking of calling it school girl fitness=] Considering Im a school girl now, Ill grow up one day, but not anytime sooN!! lol & To imply that its so easy anyone can do it! [triple major in advertising?? LOL]

Ok im done well yll have a good day tomorrow & keep training hard remember we do this cause we want to dont let it become  job! & stop by & say hi I love talking to yall & exchanging thoughts/ advice!!

ps-thanks again for voting for me…IM SO MOTIVATED NOW [even more than before] & keep voting for my friends!! [ashsimons, danny j, & josephinedalton]

I was ELATED to hear monday that I had made it into the top 15 for the ironman bb.com spokesmodel contest…I cant even believe it!!!
Bdub texted me & told me & i thought i was going to DIE I had to see it for myself.

Out of all the beautiful & FIT girls that entered the contest, yall chose me as one of the top 5??? INSAne..

I wanna say thank you so much idk if yall know how much it means to me that you took time to vote for me everyday. I know i dont have the best body up there, and if they were to stand us up on that stage tomorrow Id never come close to my competitors & my body is not worthy of representing bodybuilding.com but I am going to be in beast mode every single second up until that final  panel chooses [and after] to make SURE i earn my place on that final stage. this would be a freaking dream come true for me. Ive never been to a show that big, and I never in a million years thought that my body..was deserving of such a feat. But I work hard & im still pushin yall!!

NO STOPPIN NOW!!

Bodyspace has transformed me. & helped me keep afloat. Im in college & I go through sh*t everyday. Things make me cry. yesterday a boy i been talkin to [so I thought] & bending over backwards for for two months, politely told me he never thought of me as anything more than a friend. REALLY? lol..it sucked. But because of this site I am able to see my self worth & my strength beyond some silly little boy which is the main focus of the average college girl. But I have so much more going for me, bigger dreams than can fit in this school. I know I’ll be just fine. i wake up everyday with a positive attitude & faith that God has big plans for me & will carry me through everything.

& I believe I was put on this earth to help people live better lives, mentally & physically & I am only as good as I share my blessings with Gods other children. I owe it to him. I mean look @ everything hes given me & pulled me through!!
So i wanted to thank you guys…youre all so amazing. Ill take you all with me on this Journey to the iRONMAN!! [OMG!!!] & share everything I learn and experience on the way! Im giving you my word that you wont be disappointed in your choice. Im going to fight til the end baby!!

& good luck to all my girls & boys still in round 2 Im voting for yall still everyday like I did before hope to see yall there were all in this together!!