~Michele~’s BodyBlog

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately - thinking about where I have been and where I am headed. My fitness journey has not been as glamorous as it may seem from the outside, looking at a few photos posted on a website. It has been about five years since I first started lifting weights, and although I am not proud of every moment along the way, the things I have learned in the process are extremely valuable to me, and I would not change anything that I have gone through.

I want to talk a little about the beginning. I hope my story can help others that might be going through something similar, or who have a friend that is. I am so proud that I was able to overcome this obstacle and turn it into something positive in my life, and it hurts to see others who are experiencing and feeling the same things I went through five years ago.

I started lifting weights because I needed to strengthen my arm after a snowboarding injury. The more I learned about training, the more I wanted to learn about everything involved in fitness. I read books and magazines that said protein was good for you, but carbs and fats were bad. So my solution? Eat nothing but protein. I ate tons of tuna and cottage cheese, getting really lean in the process. It started as simply not knowing enough about nutrition, but it turned into a genuine eating disorder. The big problem was that I wasn’t fueling myself for my lifestyle, let alone my workouts. It was to the point where I became afraid of calories and all I could think about all day long was training and trying to avoid food, unless it was tuna or cottage cheese, of course. I hit a low of 104 pounds, and although I had muscle from training, it looked like muscle on a skeleton.

I knew I had taken it too far, but was so caught up in seeing changes that I couldn’t stop. It wasn’t until a guy at the gym took me aside and said, "Michele, I know what you are trying to achieve and you won’t be able to get there if you don’t eat more." I needed someone to say something, and it was the right time to hear it. I remember he made me a weight gainer shake and I drank it without feeling like I did something bad. That was a huge turning point for me and I am so thankful.

I set a new goal to add muscle to my physique, and to not be afraid of gaining weight back. It took about a year for me to fully change my attitude about food, and it was a tough fight, but I am so thankful that I made the committment to do it. This year my goal is to get on stage at 128-130 pounds. That will be about the same or lower body fat pecentage than I was at 104. Anyone can lose fat, that is the easy part, but this kind of progress is what you KNOW you had to work your ass off for! Oh, and remember the guy who made me the weight gainer shake? Well, he saw me at the Emerald Cup in 2006 where I was 122 pounds on stage, and he said he almost cried he was so proud of me!

In another blog I will talk about rebounding post-contest. I owe a lot of my muscle gain to it, but it sure isn’t fun feeling thick in the off-season!