Melinda F’s BodyBlog

There are a lot of bad situations one can get themselves into. Making the wrong decisions, taking the wrong path in life, and so on, but I believe one of the worst possible situations one could ever find themselves in is a comfortable situation. When we become comfortable, do you know what happens around us? Absolutely nothing. Each day becomes just like the one before. We do what we have always done, therefore we get what we have always gotten. We lose our edge on life, our hunger and determination to move ahead and to achieve. When we are comfortable, sometimes we are merely existing, and just existing is not my cup of tea(wait I should coffee–lurve de stuff) and shouldn’t be yours either, when we are capable of so much more in life. It would seem that one strives to move forward and accomplish their goals, they will find themselves under constant attack from others who don’t want to see them succeed. However, this is not a bad thing. It is what you should be looking for. This simply means you are good at what you do, you are making a change, and a lot of people don’t like change.Change is some people’s worst fear… It means an unexpected event in their comfortable lives; it throws them off balance. Change is necessary if you want to reach your goals. You can’t please everyone, and it is never a good idea to try. The trick is becoming absolutely immune to all the negativity others try to push your way. The bonus shall be…. While you are blocking these negative people out of your life, you’ll look around and notice a change. You’ll now find yourself surrounded by a whole new set of positive people who support you and your goals. "Positive breeds more positive!"  Positive friends, accomplished goals, and a better life… Now that’s my cup of tea…uhmm coffee. "When you climb a flagpole, people are going to see you and they’ll want to knock you down, not because they want to be up there themselves - but because they don’t want YOU there." Jerry Lewis, comedian.

So the past few weeks have really been soul searching for me…evaluating where I am, where I am going to..decided to write my personal mission statement of what I expect out of this life—dont just want to sort of arrive at 50 and then see — oh those years –yes—they flew by pretty quick–I want to look back and say — yes was there and decided want to go there and did it—and enjoyed the process.

I always tell myself that I have either have reasons or I have results. I really want results, I know what it takes to get results—its like fitness–its easy to get knowledge…some people spend a lot of time finding all the answers…what to eat…what not to eat…lift heavy…periodize…creatine…glutamine and then after a while they say…oh but I just dont see results…if we are really truthful its because knowledge is easy to get but is not so easy to practice—we have to learn that certain things have to become habits…brushing teeth is the same thing as eating clean…if you want results - you have to do it and maybe the once or twice you fall of the horse…well your thighs wont grow overnight and your teeth wont fall off…its just learning to make them permanent habits that will ensure you suceed. I asked myself recently what can I do in my business that will ensure I keep getting results—so I wrote down the single most important thing that I know for sure will work and have made a commitment to do it every time I get to my office—its not the favourite part of my job…but its a necessary leadership quality that I need to ingrain in myself before I can truly say I have done everything it takes and before I can teach anyone else to follow.

Recently I read this statement…"you cant hire someone to do your pushups for you"and I thought wow—yes—in fitness that is absolutely true and in business that is even more relevant—if you want results get your hands dirty—’show’ them how its done before you ‘tell’ them how its done..

I’v realise how important it is to write a mission statement for your life—sort of to give you direction–and then to constantly re-evaluate it as people change as we grow and learn and the things we wanted 10 years ago are different to what we want now—also to know what our definition of success truly is….what do you want your family to truly remember when you’re no longer on this Earth—how much money you made? How much time you took to listen and play? Everyone has different definitions—maybe your mission statement make make you decide what your definition is—sometimes its rather different from what you think it is—start writing and see what I mean……I’m still not finished and dont think I’ll be for a while..

But—-I am on a sexy mission to get some hot muscle—ooooh now that wont end…and I am on a mission to listen to my childrens voices and remember what they really sound like right now in their lives and hopefully remember it when they are older-maybe need to work on more omega3’s and 6’s there —aid the memory and all….I am also on a mission to live a fabulous fullfilling life—to treat everyday like an unopened present expecting only the best–to start every day with positive affirmations but most of all to be who I say I am to myself—to love the woman I see in the mirror and treat her with respect and love so that I can treat those around me like that…to be authentic.

So I take 100% responsibility for my life—no blame—just make it happen–create my life my way remaining true and truly valueing the end product that I so desire to create…

Like I tell my sweet children everyday—Choose happiness—its a choice make it—dont let others make it for you—You’re in Charge of your Life. 

The circumstances amid which you life determine your reputation;
the truth you believe determines your character.

Reputation is what you are supposed to be;
character is what you are.

Reputation is the photograph;
character is the face.

Reputation comes over one from without;
character grows up from within.

Reputation is what you have when you come to a new community;
character is what you have when you go away.

Your reputation is learned in an hour;
your character does not come to light for a year.

Reputation is made in a moment;
character is built in a lifetime.

Reputation grows like a mushroom;
character grows like the oak.

A single newspaper report gives you your reputation;
a life of toil gives you your character.

Reputation makes you rich or makes you poor;
character makes you happy or makes you miserable.

Reputation is what men say about you on your tombstone;
character is what angels say about you before the throne of God.

What is it that you really want in your life? Money? Status? Success? A Prosperous Business? A Loving Relationship? Now let me ask you a super blunt question: Why don’t you have it yet? A few months ago I attended a seminar. One of the speakers began his presentation with what I initially considered a very confrontational remark. He paused very dramatically and bellowed… "What lies do you keep telling yourself?" Although the room fell deafly silent, we all knew that his question truly touched a nerve. That question has echoed in the hollows of my mind ever since. "What lies do you keep telling yourself?" "You’re calling me a liar?" "All the lies?" "How much time do you have?" "That’s not a lie, that’s the truth!" The responses that were firing up to that question were racing through my mind at the speed of light. In Life We Can Have Results or Reasons. If you are not getting the results you want, your reasons are the lies that you keep telling yourself. You can try to argue with that statement but its kind of like wrestling with the wind, it will keep you real busy but you really won’t get anywhere. Lies create the idea that we are powerless to make things any different than the way they are. I hate to admit it but we are all liars. We love our reasons and will go to extreme lengths to hold onto them. After all, our reasons are our stories, which define us. Those experiences "made us who we are today!" It’s just the way things are…….. Results or reasons. Which do you have more of? If you answered reasons, its time to analyze the lies. I speak from experience. I spent the first thirty years of my life studying what I should believe in. Studied all the great reasons. Read all the great philosophers, not once did anybody ask me….."What is it that you want to experience with all these ideas?" So I got a little top heavy on reasons and a little short on results. The problem with having so many reasons is that eventually these reasons create a logic of limitations. They are like a virus that creates "a story" that runs in the background of your minds hard drive. Whenever we see something that we want to create, the first thing we bump into is these beliefs (reasons) that have shaped our experience thus far. And so the battle ensues. Possibilities vs. Limitations. The Grudge Match. Its like a counterproductive stealth message has been implanted in your mind, "You never seem to really win at anything, so don’t expect much here!" This message brought to you by your sponsor, "limiting lives is what we do!" We all search for meaning in life. However sometimes life is meaningless. It just "is." The critical moments that shape our lives are when we define our experience and declare…."what this means is (fill in the blank)." If the statement that we make at this crucial moment, in filling in the blank, even mildly disempowers us, we empower the logic of limitations to control our perspective from that moment forward. Don’t believe me? Here are some famous examples for you to try on for size: Oprah Winfrey was fired from one of her first jobs as a television reporter and told that "She wasn’t fit for TV." How do you think she defined that moment? After his first performance on the Grand Ole Opry, Elvis Presley was banned from returning and told, "You ain’t going nowhere son!" At that crucial moment do you think the King of Rock created a message of possibility or limitation? Life just is. Sometimes when we look for meaning we might want to remember that. What’s your story? Have you ever been fired, rejected, heartbroken, mistreated, insulted? How did you define the moment? I only ask, because that agreement has shaped your reality. Be Careful What You Agree With! The Results Can Be Lethal. Now what did you say you really wanted in your life? Listen carefully and you’ll hear those reasons whispering their logic of limitations! It’s no big deal if you hear the "stories" from time to time. The question is what are you going to do about it? Mark Twain once commented that "life does not consist, mainly or even largely of facts or happenings. It consists mainly of the stream of thought forever flowing through ones head." Our REASONS create our definitions and create the energy of our life. Change our definitions and you change your experience. Change your meanings you alter your destiny. Life does not give us what we want. Life gives us whatever we expect. Life just is. The meaning that we attach to the events of our life defines our experience and creates the thoughts that allow us to create abundance or limitation. When I was a kid I absolutely loved to read the cartoons and comics in the back of the newspaper. They made me laugh with glee. Now those cartoons were essentially a picture being defined by a clever or witty caption. One day I got the bright idea that I was going to change the captions on those cartoons and see if I could make them funnier. Isn’t life the same way? Your pictures are your experiences. Your captions are your beliefs. Do you have the courage to change your own captions? It’s your life after all. The only limitation we possess is the idea that there are limitations. Did you write your own captions or did you allow someone else to write them for you? We all have a huge investment in what we have come to know. However, sometimes what we know has nothing to do with what we need to know to be successful. Sometimes what we know has nothing to do with what we need to know to be happy! To change all of that you need to locate your limiting beliefs and say goodbye to them. Change the captions of your life. Reasons or Results. Marilyn Voss Savant writes a weekly column for Parade magazine. She is acclaimed as the person with the highest IQ on record. When she was asked by one of her readers about life, she responded with ""Feeling is what you get for thinking the way you do!" True poetry. To that I would simply add, be careful what you agree with it’ll mess up your focus. Consider this for a second: How many beliefs were you born with? How many beliefs do you have today? Along the way you have acquired a lot of baggage that is weighing you down. The problem most of us run into is that we believe in things that are "just not so", but we lead our lives in alignment with those lousy definitions and experiences to make them "so." It might be BELIEF-ECTOMY time. One of the central tenets of the personal development movement is that we become whatever we focus upon most. Fifty years ago Earl Nightingale published his bestseller "The Strangest Secret" and made us realize that our focus creates our destiny. Web poet, adventurer and philosopher Mike Dooley of www.tut.com has eloquently modernized and improved upon this statement when he states, "Thoughts Become Things. Choose the Good Ones!" Most people don’t get what they really want because their focus is fuzzy at best. Do you really know what you are focused on? Before you answer that question too quickly recognize that your focus has been responsible for creating your life up until this point. Your agreements shape your reality…. so be careful what you agree with. So what is it that you really want? My advice is simple. Be Careful What You Agree With and Then Focus, Focus, Refocus and Refocus some more. And when you think you are through focusing, focus again. You wouldn’t drive to your destination fixated on the rear view mirror! Reasons or Results. Be Realistic: Create A Miracle! 

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up.
He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple the $20 dollar bill up. He then asked, “Who still wants it?” Still the hands were up in the air. “Well”, he replied, “What if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air. “My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson”, he said, “No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless…. and especially to those who love you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or whom we know, but by WHO WE ARE.

1. Don’t think of problems as difficulties. Think of them as opportunities for action.

 2. After you’ve done your best to deal with a situation, avoid speculating about the outcome. Forget it and go onto the next thing.

3. Keep busy. Keep the 24 hours of your day filled with these three ingredients: work, recreation, and sleep. Don’t allow yourself time for abstract thinking.

4. Don’t concern yourself with things you can’t do anything about. Armchair generals don’t win battles, but they do have nervous breakdowns. 5. For the time being anyway, eliminate daydreaming completely. Stop building air castles.6. Don’t procrastinate. Putting off an unpleasant task until tomorrow simply gives you more time for your imagination to make a mountain out a possible molehill. More time for anxiety to sap your self-confidence. 

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