MasterStrongman’s BodyBlog

When you cruise around bodyspace, you see the incredible athletes that publish their efforts on their profile pages.  You read the blog and forum entries and comments of people sharing information and ideas.  You find people from all over the world.

But you don’t meet anybody. 

This is all inside of my computer and that introduces us to a whole new realm of lifestyle.  I have to remember that I really don’t know anyone.  I have tried to be brutally honest, and I really believe that others have to.  But there are some, like this goober who goes around and puts 1’s on everyones pictures, that are like creepy crawlly things under a rock.  There are others who comment or post from behind the wall of anonymity created by the internet.

Don’t get me wrong; I think that being a part of an online community has great benefits.  I am just not used to it.  It was really difficult for me to post my pics.  I am not really comfortable with that yet.  But I have had some really positive comments, and some negative comments as well.

I also have to remember that I lack the ability to see facial expressions , and to hear inflection. ROFL!  What may seem clear to me is less clear through the gauzy hazy of the hastily written word.  If I have offended anyone, just be patient with me.

The internet isn’t through with me yet!

I am the least photogenic guy I know. And nobody will ever mistake me for a bodybuilder. I look like a strength athlete and I am shaped like a strength athlete. Being able to do good mornings for reps with 400+ pounds is great for picking up big objects like rocks and cars and trees, but it makes one take the shape of a Oompah Loompah. Big hips, big glutes, big abs… i hate it.
So I took a big step today. I took pictures of myself and posted them on Bodyspace. Now, I know that I am stronger than the average guy, but I am humiliated at how I look! And I do not know how to fix it. I have been eating cleanly and I have dropped some BF%, but my camera phone says I have a long way to go.

Now add to that that I am of full-blooded English descent. While I tan easily when I can, I rarely have a tan. I have the complexion of, say, the inside of a raw oyster. Not really white… more like grey. That really brings out the striations!

You guys on this website have been gracious to me, the interloper, the non-bodybuilder. I have nothing but the love for my BB brethren. In fact, I would really like to train with a couple of you guys. But one thing is for sure: I will never stand next to any of you with my shirt off!

I guess folks like us are never satisfied. Whenever anyone asks me how much I bench, I like to answer, "More than I used to, but less than I want!" I know that I have gotten stronger. But really, for just once, I would like to look strong, too. I guess when I get there, I would be bummed because I wasn’t strong enough. And then when I was, I would be bummed out that I wasn’t lean enough. It is a never ending cycle that causes us to push beyond where other humans go. While it may be our greatest strength, it is also our greatest weakness.

It would be easier to sit on the sofa and watch American Idol.  Hamburger Helper is faster and more filling than another grilled chicken breast with brown rice and steamed broccoli.  Training on a cold saturday morning is not as satisfying as staying in bed.  But we here on Bodyspace do all of this.  Our peers call us, “fitness freaks” or “muscleheads” and they think they understand, but they really don’t do they?

Some of you train like this because you have always been an athlete.  Some of you train like this because you had never been an athlete.  The psychology of what pushes you guys to rise above ordinary humans to become super human is fascinating to me.

When I was growing up, I had very poor fine motor skills.  I was a klutz! I couldn’t throw or catch a ball worth a sh*t.  so when all of the other boys were playing ball, I felt out of place.  I therefore avoided playing ball and in the 1970’s and 1980’s, there wasn’t anything else.  As they played they got better and pulled farther and farther away from me.

“It doesn’t matter that you don’t LIKE sports, you are a smart.”  First of all, I didn’t even know if I liked sports because nobody showed me any sports without a damn ball. Second of all, I learned in college that there are plenty of dudes out there who are smart AND good at sports.  It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

Now my coaches and teachers didn’t know much about kinesiology.  Nobody did.  You see, even though I ”wasn’t athletic” I was the fastest kid in school in an all out sprint.  We now know that means I had muscle composition and slow twitch (or fast twitch, i cannot remember) muscle fibers.  I could generate power in my hamstrings. But I wasn’t “good at sports”.

When I got to college, three things happened: (1) as I mentioned, I met guys who were smart, athletic and fun.  (2) I discovered the weight room and found out that I could get big pretty fast and (3) I went snow skiing. 

Everyone told me in skiing that I would fall and that I shouldn’t get frustrated.  I was nervous, because, you know, I “wasn’t good at sports”.  When we were supposed to skiing, it got whited out and then started to rain.  We ended up skiing in a drizzle at night.  EVeryone apologized that my first ski trip was ruined.

Say…..WHAT?  I had never taken to something like that before.  Skiing came so naturally to me and felt so right!  I lived in South Carolina so there was no way to ski regularly, but a whole new world opened up for me!  I went looking for sports and found out that more sports didn’t have a ball than did have a ball!  My life was changed forever.

I never want anyone to think that I am bad at sports.  What motivates me is the idea that I can do things most men cannot.  What motivates me is thinking of the adults who gave up on me so easily.  Everyone says that kids are cruel, but that is bull; kids model the behavior of the adults around them.  Kids surrounded by kind adults become kind kids. 

My desire is that at any age, people will see me and say, “Look at him. Tha guy must be an athlete!” If that makes me vain, or a musclehead, or otherwise….

I guess you guys will just have to live with it.

What pushes you?

 MS

The Univerisity of Florida Gators are the first school ever to have a basketball and football chamionship at the same time. The entire nation is in awe and scratches its collective head thinking, "How did they do that?"

But we here on Bodyspace know how they did that. Look around! I don’t know any statistics, (and I am not denying the love for the other 49 states and the rest of the world), but have you guys noticed how many huge, strong, ripped-to-shreds Mofos are on this website from Florida? Without naming names, the most impressive dude I have met through this site is from Florida. There are some pretty tight and hot ladies from the Sunshine State as well! But I cannot comment on them without being lewd, which I try not to do publicly.
So, without further ado, are the top ten reasons why dudes from Florida are the beasts:

10.    You have to train your triceps pretty hard to be able to punch the Tiger Sharks trying to bite you while swimming.

9.       It’s hot all of the time; these cats are shirtless 12 out of 12 months of the year.

8.       All of the retirees means low cost Enfamil and the cafeterias are empty after 7:00 p.m.
7.       Alligators run fast.  You have to run faster.

6.       Have you ever met the women in Florida??  You have to look your best to have any game play down there!

5. A big gay population who have endless money and free time to spend trying to look good raise the bar for the rest of us.

4. Fruit is good for you. And free on the side of the road if it is nighttime, and you can run fast, and you don’t get caught.

3. Even though the food at DisneyWorld isn’t good for you, you can burn off the calories by waiting in line for Space Mountain and Alien Adventure.

2.         You want to be strong enough in case you have to fight off the skunk ape.

and the number one reason guys in Florida are in such awesome condition

1.         The old people remind them of their own mortality!

This ole Georgia boy hates to say it, but congratulations UF!

Bodybuilders diet with more intensity than any athletes only maybe excepting college wrestlers.  Strongmen train until they puke, (been there; done that; left the evidence!)  And then there are power lifters.  Talk about some fun and crazy athletes.

We squatted last night and had a great time. I have the benefit of squatting with some of the strongest guys on the planet.  Well, this morning i had sore abs and when I looked into the mirror I saw that I burst blood vessels in my eyeballs.  How freaking cool is that!!

Why do we do this?  I think maybe we are crazy; I know that is what my staff and collegues think.  "You squatted so heavy your eyes bled? And you think that is good for you?"

Maybe not. I don’t know.  Blood vessels will grow back.  I guess I do it because I want to know how far I can go.  The nineteenth century theologian, Henry Drummond, said, "If a man doesn’t do what he thinks is impossible, he will never be able to do what he can."  I am squatting over 700 pounds! I remember being proud of 405.  I bench that now. These weights seemed like fantasy to me several years ago.  I know that there are plenty of guys who are stronger than this, (there are plenty of guys in my gym stronger than this) but it still is a lot for me.

The bodybuilders on this website are bigger than the normal person.  The strength athletes are as strong as two or more normal men.  People stare.  They ask dumb questions, "Do you lift weights?"  "Uh, no.  I just look like this because of Reese’s Pieces."

So why do we do it? Maybe we want to see how far our bodies will go, how far they will grow.  All I know is that my brothers in iron "get" me and get them.  Sometimes when people ask me why I do all of this, I want to ask them, "Why don’t you?"

I am going to see how far I can go.  My prayer for myself and for you guys is this: The good Lord willing, the end is nowhere in sight!

I write a sports and fitness column.  Here is the column for Friday’s edition.  I am kind of proud of it!