Born of Divine Blood

When they see us they will run for their lives
To the end they will pay for their lies
So long did we wait, now we are home

so i finished my last final about an hour ago!! yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy finally….did ok….if i don’t get all my A’s so i get a couple B’s…i’ve become more desensitized to B’s since i’ve been in college unfortunately.

Training the last couple days has been good. Chest today and Armz yesterday…both in the morning, not usually when i like to train but at least there was no one in my way Oh and shoulders the day before that, don’t think i wrote bout that either…i’m slacking…..nothing bad happened…on shoulders i did the 115s for 10 on shoulder press with no spot whatsoever, definitely a record with no spotter i think. bench today…just 315 for 5…i don’t go as nuts here at school on my benching i guess, much crazier when you got the bros spotting you and dropping "yea buddday" bombs and "DOMINATE" and all that jazz.

I don’t get to go home till tomorrow though, prolly good though since my legs are iffy, i don’t wanna get into a hardcore session with cody and reinjure anything, we’ll leave that for next week. Everything feels ok down there so we’ll see tomorrow what i can handle and if i can squat good again *crosses fingers*

Oh i can’t go home till tomorrow cuz i have to clean and put in applications for personal training at 2 gyms here…..I’m gonna need some sort of job next semester and thereafter unfortunately and that’s all i’m going to accept. I should get hired though…i’m huge and i’m certified.

Oh and a note about plenty of fish……the name of the site should really be plenty of WHALES because looking around on there I see like 1/20 people that are remotely in shape, and NO ONE i repeat NO ONE that is into the gym. So **** that, i don’t need people telling me I’m shallow because i’m a big muscular guy and i’m attracted to girls who also take that kind of care with their bodies and hold the same character traits i do with respect to dedication, discipline, and desire. The fat people just automatically decide that, he’s shallow….or their definition of shallow is truly that one cares about their partner’s beauty….which makes zero sense but who can say…fat people never did make sense to me, even when i was one

so i got a new flavor last time i ordered from *** and right….literally in powder form this stuff looks EXACTLY like phosphorus….at least i think that’s what looked like this remembering chemistry, been a while since i’ve had to take any chem….freaks me out though…might be a different version too cuz i think it hits me harder…

ANYWAY…..OFF TO DESTROY SHOULDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRR

so took my first final today….it went swimmingly as expected, me being the overt genius that i am. There was only one thing i think i could have messed up on. It was for my harder stat class that i had this semester. I say harder just because there was some calculus in it, nothin difficult in calculus terms tho.

Then on to armageddon. I really kicked ass today, kinda trying to make up for having to train legz like a pathetic toad yesterday. Went up to 80’s on hammer curls…did 8, might be the first time i’ve done that, chalk helps a shit ton for me on that exercise. Did some other bi stuff and then did that 7 deal at the end with the nautilus preacher machine again. I really like that. Might have to start adding more of those in, it gets a pump like no other. And you don’t have to think so hard like when you’re trying to make up a decent superset. So then triceps…usually when i do triceps second i suck…but i did overhead extensions with the 150 for 16 reps and then 18 reps!!! that might be a personal best as well….i think the only thing that limits my reps on that exercise is that my shoulders start choking me out in that position lol. and of course I WISH THE GODDAMN REC WOULD GET BIGGER DUMBBELLS!!! 16-20 reps is not good for building!! Also did crushers later on…went up to 135 no spots for a couple sets…hard kicking that shit back that heavy…didn’t help I was on the gay bench but anyway good shit. Also did a 7 for tri’s with rope ext again…same result, insano pumpage.  finished up the forearms and calves and called it a day

As for yesterday…i’m really feeling what that 7 did on my hammies…and since they’re lagging i think i’m gonna go crazy on saturday when i do legs again here and do 3 different sevens for hams!!! Especially if i’m still having quad troubles…gotta hit something hard.

SNOW SNOW SNOW…..got lots here….i got broncobilly back though so no worries, she’s never failed me….well there was that one time with the 360 and the hidden ditch….but i don’t play around like that anymore. lol i’ve not played around in the snow since that actually really, it freaked me out, and broncobilly was buried she didn’t like it at all.

So today was the first leg day since i thought i tore something in my left quad. I warmed up like a good little injured boy and started off very easy with squat…did lots of just sitting at the bottom….then got to it, everything felt fine with one plate…went to two….uh oh the pain in the left quad started to pop up a bit. So i stayed there and just did one more set and went on to leg press. Leg press doesn’t hurt either injury so i went pretty heavy on that…then some close hacks, which hurt my right knee like hell, and a seven’s set of leg ext to finish off, so because of the 7 i did get a good pump despite the injuries.

then of course did hammies….did ‘em good and did a seven’s on the last exercise i did with ‘em, lying leg curls….so i had such a pump in my hams when i went to do abs that i couldn’t get my feet close enough on crunches lolz.

so that’s that….I’m thinking i might be able to squat saturday….i’ll definitely try of course

*sigh* The most perfect awesome couple that is so deeply in love. These two are what gives me hope about love i think. Granted, yes, they’re characters in books…The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind to be exact. But if you can imagine it you can create it, and i know that to be true. This is the kind of love i want, and will have……now to see if i can do them any justice describing it.

For one Kahlan IS my perfect woman. She’s beautiful, strong, powerful, caring, and she’ll fight for herself and those she loves until the end, looking death in the eye she doesn’t give up. Yes threads of despair can sink in but she always rises above them. And she loves Richard with all of her heart she would give her life for his…and he’s the same, he would gladly give his life to protect his love. As would I when i find her. When they’re together it’s like a dream….seemingly ordained by the gods (or spirits in the books) themselves. *sigh* I want that, that’s what i want to live, I want my love to be like a dream, I want my heart to fill to bursting whenever I see her, I want to hold her tight and make it all better when she cries and is hurting, I want, when i take in her beauty and her soul, to know that i’m with quite simply the greatest woman on this planet. And i will settle for no less.

meh…a little taste anyway…..Kahlan’s character has made such an impact on me and my life that if i ever have a daughter that will be her name As i read the books and go through her perils with her it’s like my heart beats with hers…anytime she’s in danger I hurt for her, and when she’s with richard joyous.

If any of you like fantasy and a good love story in there too at all you must read these books…i’m actually REREADING them all i love them so much. The only books i’ve ever reread

I gotta figure out some way to feel remotely decent on sundays, goddamn it’s depressing. I don’t talk to anyone or go anywhere all day…blah. Trying to clean…but even that’s depressing. ugh.

Then i’ve got my hardest final tuesday…haven’t studied at all for it…not a big deal but i just feel unproductive not studying…not like i’m doing anything more important…lol screwing around on plentyoffish finding unattractive people that have kids and drink…or screwing around on here hoping someone’ll talk to me. Sometimes i disgust myself….mostly on sundays lol.

HA and then my dad calls earlier and we talk for awhile…he mentions he went to the gym with my bros this week 4 times…good good, then he says my brother that’s 2 years younger than me benched 365 for 8…..come the **** on can i ever win??? I lift more than anyone at this college gym by far on damn near everything and i go home and get my ass kicked at everything and he’s not even as big as me!!! *sigh* only thing i’ve been able to beat him at used to be deadlift…and now i don’t even think i have that. Sucks ass…..i wanna go back to bed now.

end rant i guess

So I did like Nicole said awhile back and set up a profile on plentyoffish (canada nicole not pennsylvania) and it’s just so sad kinda. I mean yea girls keep messaging me…..but, and i’m not a mean person at all, but they’re not attractive….like AT ALL. So i have to ignore them…i mean it’s a dating site right? It wouldn’t be fair to lead them on at all when they have zero chance. And you know, i mean to me attractiveness has to do with body. Most combinations of facial features i can find attractive if the body is there. But their bodies….aren’t there…..so some people may think that’s shallow but this is how i’ve always felt and looked at it. Your body is a reflection of yourself, and in the simplest interpretation your RESPECT for yourself. And if you have no desire to look desirable and take care of yourself how can you possibly be good for a partner? And of course also that’s obviously my biggest passion pretty much, working out, i don’t even have the slightest desire to date someone that doesn’t share that.

Trained Back today….did two different supersets, low cable rows supered with one arm cable rows…and then close pulldowns supered with wide straight arm pushdowns. Also did wide lat pulldowns, Bentover Barbell rows, and Machine Hypers….not in that order….and then I tried a ‘7′ with Nautilus Pullovers….yea so i’d never done that machine before….and get this when my back is flexed bringing the bar around IT DOESN’T FIT BETWEEN THE PADS!!!!!! lol does that mean i’m huge? but anyway…i didn’t feel it was all that great of an exercise…gave a little pump, maybe it’s just cuz that’s the first time i’ve done it i dunno. It was mentioned as one of the best sevens for width, that’s why i tried it.

As always….hot girls everywhere at the gym…..it’s so ****ing depressing….And all my brain does is decloth them and imagine them gently moaning my name as i pleasure them. Which is even more depressing cuz i can’t see it actually happening but my stupid head wont quit creating the scenes!!!

Which has led to the quite poopy mood i’m in right now. It’s the weekend again….I’m alone as always, always so alone, ugh. I don’t really feel like doing anything but laying around and sulking. But i know i need to clean and stuff tonight and tomorrow. I really want my apartment clean so i can study better for finals this next week. Ugh and i have to put my two applications in too for personal training jobs, i really don’t want a job, prolly gonna have to drop a class next semester to handle it (enrolled in 18 hours for the moment) and then contest prep to boot….next sem. might suck serious ballage But the ‘rents are pretty gung ho on cutting me off in May i think it is. What is, is i guess.