Making_A_Change’s BodyBlog

 It’s been a productive and busy day and I am sure yours has been to. But before turn in please VOTE FOR ME to be Bodyspace.com’s Spokesmodel for 2010. Just visit this link: http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm! You can also view my video submission here:

…=xyNqUGM81vg&feature=player_embeddedRead

A big thank… you to all of you who have voted and you have voted. I am so appreciative of your support!

I have decided not to do the USAs this summer. I need more time. I don’t just want to be ‘better than I am now’. I aspire to be one of the best in that line up. There is a difference to me. In doing the math, I would only be training for about 15 weeks before dieting. That is not enough time to build the phsyique that is in my mind’s eye. That is not enough time for fuller quads and hamstrings, a butt that defies gravity, arms with rope-like vasularity, and abs that have been developed and nurtured over the course of almost a year. I am not disappointed, at all. In fact, I am relieved. To compete nationally, I had to be realistic. Yes, I have the focus, the heart and the drive. But, I don’t have the development, right now. That is what I used to tell my daughter when she would get frustrated and say, "I can’t read!!!!". I would stop her and say, "You will do it. It is going to take time. You don’t know was this says, right now." Now, she can pick up a book and sound out the words, glean meaning, and does it with a smile. She is doing it ‘right now’.

Another consideration was the cost. I can’t justify the cost of a national level suit, airfare/hotel for the family, more food, supplements, registration, etc. If I don’t feel confident that I am at my best. I want there to be little doubt that I belong there. I want to be competitive. Initially, the thought of waiting for a whole year made me a bit antsy. BUT I need to gain–alot. I’ve said it before, but putting on muscle is HARD. It’s a science. Losing the fat was the (relatively easy part). Gaining muscle is going to be my challenge.  And I had to remind myself how much better I will be in my third year of training. And I am going to take it week by week. Now I can say I am 52 weeks out! That still doesn’t sound like a long time. Wow! That’s 2,184 meals!

So, there it is. I have let The Team know and I am steadfast in my decision.

I am focused.  I have to push harder and demand more. I am ready to begin a new leg on this journey.

I have competed for the last year. And for the last two years the goal was to get smaller. Now, I need to get bigger and eat a bit bigger, clean, but bigger. And I am struggling. I am even considering not competing in July and, instead, doing The Sac next year followed by the following show in Culver. By competing in Julky I am only lifting for about 15 weeks and lifting for strength, even less than that. So, will my phsyique be significantly better? Probably not. But if I can learn how to lift like a power lifter over the course of 8 full months and then diet for 4–THAT would make a difference. I had a conversation with the guy I met at the gym–the form bodybuilder. And he kept saying, "You need to train to win, not to place. The satisfaction will come from doing all you could have done." And I’ve been thinking about that. Right now, I feel like I am in transition. I am learning how to eat. I am learning what it means to go heavier. I am learning that what I have done isn’t good enough anymore–it’s enough to maintain and make minor changes. But it isn’t enough to have me on stage and give me the ‘wow factor’. That is what I want!

I am working on making my food more enjoyable, instead of functional. That is the first step. If it’s good, I’ll eat it. I just visited my parents and took out half of a fat pot roast over the course of the day and a ton of salad. It was just that good! It was easy. I enjoyed it. And it was what my body needed. Making good food does take a little planning–it’s easy to stick chicken in the microwave. But, it’s gross. I mean really–it’s white, wet, and wet. Did I mention how wet it is? I can see how it makes dieting easier. But I can also see how I get into a rut and get so sick of it.

In other news, while my lips are still dry, I managed to get a full night’s sleep without getting up for water! What a relief! I think my drymouth period is coming to an end.

And if you haven’t already done so, today–VOTE FOR ME to be Bodyspace.com’s Spokesmodel for 2010. Just visit this link: http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm! You can also view my video submission here: vg&feature=player_embeddedRead I have appreciated all of your votes and support!

VOTE FOR ME to be Bodyspace.com’s Spokesmodel for 2010. Just visit this link:http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm&
quot; mce_href="http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm. You can also view my video submission here:

I would like to extend a big THANK YOU to those who have cast their vote for me to be Bodyspace.com’s Spokesmodel for 2010.  There are just a few more weeks of voting?

Did you cast your vote, today? Just visit this link: http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm” mce_href=”http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm, find my name and picture, click on the dot below my photo, and press ‘Okay’! Remember, to vote EVERYDAY and tell a friend!You can also view my video submission here:

Sigh. It’s the end of the experiment. At the beginning of the week Frank and I set out to see if I could carb load for a show. In the past, I have been unsuccessful at it–usually ending up bloated or hanging over my suit. Another factor that doesn’t work in my favor is that the shows seem to fall on or around my cycle–every..single…one. So, for my last show I depleted and hit the stage. I figured I would rather be flat and have some lines, than be bloated. And it worked for me. Now, for a nation show, flat will not cut it. On top of just needing more muscle, in general, I need to get some fullness. This takes us to The Loading Experiment, this week. I depleted for 3 days on 50 grams of carbs. Then, I loaded on 100, the 150 the following day. And today I was scheduled to hit 150, again, but just coulnot stomach anymore. I liked the way I looked this morning, but not this evening. We may have to taper on show day and hold there. Mentally, it was hard. It was hard ‘dieting’ when there was no show. It was especially difficult because I was getting used to having more carbs and then they were [poof!] gone. It was hard not going to the gym, too. Tomorrow, is a who different story! I not only am going to the gym first thing in the morning, but I am going to hit legs. It’s a light week, so I get to do higher reps and I like that. I love doing my warm-up. I do walking lunges and crab walks across the floor. And I’ll definitely be doing the split lunges with a 25# plate. I think I’ll be doing tuna, this week. I need a break from chicken.

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When you get an opportunity–VOTE FOR ME to be Bodyspace.com’s Spokesmodel for 2010. Just visit this link: http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm, find my name and picture, click on the dot below my photo, and press ‘Okay’! Remember, to vote EVERYDAY and tell a friend!  

 It is probably time for your next meal–and it’s also time to VOTE FOR ME to be Bodyspace.com’s Spokesmodel for 2010. Just visit this link: http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm, find my name and picture, click on the dot below my photo, and press ‘Okay’! Remember, to vote EVERYDAY and tell a friend!

You can also view my video submission here: vg&feature=player_embeddedvg&feature=player_embedded

Thank you so much for your votes! 

This isn’t some figurative language to describe my desire to compete or train. I have been so thirsty! And the odd thing is that it is happening at 11 at night! I go to sleep around 9:30-early, but I am BEAT by the end of the day. And, I guess since it is darker early, my body is getting the message to shut it down–and I don’t need help with that one. My superpower is that I have the ability to go to sleep any time and any where. Seriously. It’s a gift that came in handy when Davis was an infant. When she went to sleep, so did I–no planning, no cleaning, nothing. I got my zzz’s. I love to sleep. I would choose sleeping over a dinner any day. So–lately, I have been waking up and chugging water. My mouth is drier than dry. No saliva to speak of. So, I’ll drink. Subsequently, I’ll have to pee. Then, I’m thirsty. Then, you guessed it, I need to pee. I don’t know if it has to do with this load and the extra carbs. I didn’t manipulate my water, at all. I hadn’t been the best at getting my water in during the day, so I am making sure to do that, now. It is just a weird feeling. I am here at work, feeling waterlogged, because I am determined NOT to be thirsty tonight.

I have not trained since Tuesday–trying to simulate a peaking situation. I feltl good, yesterday. Today I just feel full. The evening pictures will determine whether or not a load, as we tried it, worked or not. There is also the issue that I am not contest lean which can skew our results. We will run this test, again, around February. I begin dieting around mid March. That really doesn’t leave alot of time. I may not be as big as I would like so the focus will also be on conditioning.

I am off to teach my last two classes of the day.