Making_A_Change’s BodyBlog

Light Week/High reps

I worked shoulders and I went a little too heavy. I am suppose to be about to get up around 15-20 and I chose a weight where I had to tap out at around 10 for bb shoulder presses. That’s just more mass for me!

I did: bb shoulder presses, front raises, side raises, and bent over raises for rear delts. I also hit a couple of the machines for some variation. I threw in abs because I am a bit behind schedule. By the time that I got to cardio I was so tired. But I wanted to be able to write in my book that I did the cardio so I hit the treadmill. I ran for 30 minutes @ 7 mph. I was done at around 15 minutes and had to talk my way into the last half of cardio.

Kassandre: 15 minutes isn’t so bad. Afterall, you did do shoulders and abs.

Kass: Suck it up. You want to compete at the national level, don’t you? Do the 30.

Kassandre: Let me change songs, maybe that’ll help.

Kass: Yeah, put on that Lady Ga Ga. I can’t believe you like that stuff.

Kassandre: I know. But it works! We won’t even talk about your 80’s music–Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Kass: Shhhh! Play Guy’s, My Fantasy, while your at it.

Kassandre: Ugh. 17 minutes. I’ll do 20 and then see how I feel.

Kass: Bump that. I’ll tell you how you feel. You are going to do the 30 and stop complaining about. Ay! Don’t you dare lower the speed. I saw that.

Kassandre: I’ll do 25 and cool down for 5. That’s 30 minutes.

Kass: Don’t fool yourself. 30 minutes is 30 minutes.

Kassandre: Okay, here’s a good song. I got this: I be on the hotline like err’day…

Kass: Makin’ sure the DJ know what I want him to play; You know I got my top back and my beat low

Kassandre and Kass:

Rockin’ my stunna shades and turnin’ up my radio
Turn up my radio

I think I’m in love with my radio
‘Cause it never lets me down
And I fall in love with my stereo
Whenever I hear that sound

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooooooooooooh…

Kass: Don’t stop.

Kassandre: 30 minutes! Let’s eat!

Happy Halloween, from Michelle Obama. That is who I am this year. It is not the most creative, but, it does fit into our schools theme. We do Career Exploration Day instead of your traditional Halloween. So, between the dress, the heels, trenchcoat, and delts–I am the first lady.

I got up early and helped the little one get her make-up on. We got her fairly wings, she has a lavendar, flowergirl dress given to her by a friend. I gave her glitter eyeshadow and pulled her hair up into a prety pun–and voila! Fairy Butterfly Princess. I am looking forward to the day when she wants to be something unique and different. Such is a fiver year old.

My cheat for Halloween is all the fruit my stomache can take. Yep, that is my answer to candy. Do I want candy? Yes. I want a Snickers–badly–the fat 300 calorie one. I like them in the microwave for a few seconds. But I also want to win–so…my solution is fruit. It’s sweet and good for me. Win. Win. Work has been going a mile and minute. It’s report card and conference time. And it is my first time on the other side as a teacher. I am just going to go about it as I would like–get to the point, tell me the good and bad, and let’s be out. Now, I guess this works for me because is very tight wound at school. She loves to help. She loves to read and speak aloud. It’s just when she gets home, I guess the uniform comes off and she can let loose. We had her conference last week and it was quick and to the point. I liked that. Preparing for those was stressing me out until I stopped, took a breath, and realized that I don’t have to do it like everyone else, nor do I have to use every form that pops up in my inbox. So, I am doing my student’s conference like a gallery walk, there will be a running powerpoint of their pictures. As a first year teacher, my goal is to work smart.

We always know when our daughter is growing–she goes to sleep early and eats everything in sight. Davis has always had a good appetite and lots of variety. There are times when she hardly eats. She’ll poke at her breakfast, nibble at her lunch, and just smell dinner. Then there are times, like last week. I was on my way home and I call my husband to say I’m on my way. He says, "She just took out two turkey burgers, two bagels, and it asking for more." When she does kind of eating she is typically a bit taller soon after–we don’t have to cuff her school pants and she is wearing a few of the shirts we got for fall, now. Well, I have either been ravenous or sleepy. It has even been in the back of my mind–am I pregnant? Today, I just felt like a bottomless pit. It is coming after several days on low, so that could be expected. I’m still playing with the numbers. Additionally, after 8, I just can’t stay awake! I understand that this is when you grow. So I am following my body’s cue. I’ve had two off days–completely. And I do feel better. And maybe I needed to catch up on zzzzz’s. Waking up at 4 is rough. And I have actually been getting up at 3:45 to get all of my supplements and food in. Maybe I need to re-evaluate that. And, therein lies why I’m tired. But, it would still be great if it were a ‘growth spurt, though’. I can hope…

A conversation with the little while walking to the Halloween store:

"Mommy, why are you walking like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like this!" She proceeds to do this walk where she walks in straight line, one foot in front of the other, and switches her hips. "You walk like a (she whispers) foxy lady."

I guess walking in 5 inch heels has helped my walk in my everyday heels.

"Oh, that? That’s just my swagger."

"Oooh!"

I have been thinking about my calves. Maybe this is what the mind/body connection is. Maybe it’s when you start to fixate on a particular part you would like to built and you start thinking of what you are going to do during the next training session. I don’t go super heavy on them, but I do work on getting ht emost out of my range of motion. I see alot of people–okay, alot of the men (because the women don’t get on it at my gym)–get on the standing clave machine, pulling alot of weight and then either make the thing bounce or bit or use their knees. I used to do the ego-stroking way by making the stack super high and getting some movement. Now, I’ve lowered my weight and focus on letting my heels sink down past the platform and pushing up hard. I keep my knees locked (a trick Billy showed me) and press. My calves HURT, not just burn, by the end of my set. I go for back to back sets. I like how it looks when I’me finished. For about 30 minutes I have a nice set of calves.

My mom and dad finally saw the photoshoot pictures. The conversation went something like this:

"Hey, mom. Did you see the pictures, yet?"

"Umm-hmmm. Me and your father saw them. Pret–ty racy, if I may say so. (You have to say this with a lifted brow an pursed lips) I saw that dress and where did you get those hooker shoes?"

"Those are cute! I got them off of e-bay. They aren’t hooker shoes".

"Pointy toes, super high, and straps around the ankle? Hooker shoes. (Sighing fondly.) I used to be able to wear shoes like that. And look at all the leathah!" (Yes, we had to emphasize the ‘leather’ by hitting the end of the word hard and dropping the ‘-er’–leathah!)

"You know, in physique photography alot of people just wear a bikini. Technically, I have on alot of clothes–a jacket, belt, and boots."

"Well, you look good, Mrs. Harper-Cotton. But you are still nekked. Just wait until your daughter takes pictures in hooker shoes and panties….[long pause]…Just don’t forget who you get your good looks from." 

 October  27

 Sleep is a great supplement. I have been trying to get better at using my time wisely and planning ahead. I’ve come upon a few more hours in the day. The quality of my sleep has been really good lately. By the end of the day I am exhausted.  I am not getting up in the middle of the night. I try to cut off my water fairly early, to avoid the potty breaks during the night. I decided to make today the off day. I felt it last night, but I pushed anyway. I’ll be at the gym Tues-Friday and take either Saturday or Sunday off. My legs aren’t sore, so I am excited to hit them soon.

For lunch today, I had a mock chicken parmesean–just spaghetti squash, cubed chicken, and a bit of dried parmesean cheese. And for my carbs, I made sweet potatoe cookies. The recipe needs tweaking, but they weren’t bad. I need to add pepper next time.  I haven’t had one cracker since I set my mind on 18% and refocused on my goal for Top 3. It’s a mental game. Since I can have my nut butters, again, I have been incorporating them at around 4 o’clock. This is about the time that cravings start hitting hard. I am also back on flax mid-day.

The blog has been where I note my successes, my failures, my questions, my answers–everything. It feels good to write when I have done something right. It is easy to write about training–because I do that well. Overall, I enjoy my time at the gym, especially now. I am beating up one bodypart per day I am sore by the end of the day–I thrive off of that. I can remember saying, “I’ve tried everything and nothing works”. The truth is I hadn’t. I did what was easiest and what hurt the least. If I could avoid sweating, I did. I stuck with something for a few weeks, and when the scale didn’t budge or I didn’t look the way that I thought I should after being so ‘diligent’, I would overeat for weeks, maybe even months. Afterall, nothing worked. Even if I did stick with it a little longer–the effort was half-hearted.

That was the missing key for ME–my heart. I’ve been getting that question alot, lately. And that is what made the difference for me. I didn’t personalize this lifestyle. It was always about someone or something else. Today, I am in this ‘fitness thing’ for the long haul–for life. It is no longer to fit into a dress, to tuck in my shirt, to impress someone I haven’t seen in a while, so that I don’t have to hear how chubby I’ve gotten from relatives, or to look good for a wedding–mine or someone else’s. I am 35 years old and I cannot imagine not waking up in the morning to lift until I make that horrible ‘lift face’ or to train in the evening when the gym is empty and quiet. I get a rush when I finally get on stage after preparing for weeks. I like watching my body change into something that I could only imagine. I admire the bodies of other athletes, but I can see my work clearly and I don’t want anyone else’s physique. I can appreciated their’s for the work that they have put into it.  And I love what I have built because it is unique to me. Do you know how I met my fitness buddy. I said to another women, “You must compete. Because women who just ‘workout’ don’t have glutes like that”. Crazy? Maybe? But you learn to pick out the other ‘crazies’, and I use this term fondly, who like to go to the gym at 4 a.m., too. You just don’t get that satisfaction when you are just  focused on the short term goals or focused on the progress of others. Until the journey is personalized, it will always be about someone else. p>I had to personalize it. I had to change my mindset about excercise and why I was doing it. I had to move from trying to attain that perfect size to caring about my well-being and setting what I previously thought were unattainable goals. I had to distance myself from the voice that said–just go tomorrow. One day really doesn’t matter. Like you are really going to change all that much anyway. That voice is extremely persuasive and feeds off your weakness and self-doubt. Three years ago, you couldn’t have paid me to wear a bikini, much less allow myself to be critiqued and judged against other women. I would have never thought that I would would be able to look past, my stretchmarks, do a photoshoot, and post the untouched results.

The bodies on this site illustrate what can be done–not the way to do anything. The profiles represent a way. And everyone has to find ‘their way’. THAT is the hard part. That is the part that requires the diligence and patience. Just take it as proof that anything is possible.

Tonight, I worked triceps. I decided to sleep in this morning. I love to sleep as much as I love going to the gym. It was so crowded. There were weights strewn about. There were men working out in herds. It was a mess. I got a cable and stayed on until I finished with my workout: tricep pressdowns (overhand and underhand), overhead tricep press, untilateral tricep pull-downs, push-ups (arms in to target triceps). I just did back to back sets and left. No cardio tonight. Early mornings or late evenings are so much more peaceful. I am off to prepare tomorrow’s lunch. Tomorrow may be my recovery day. If I go in, it will be fore abs and calves; it’s their turn!
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Nothing wakes you up like an alarm clock, your daughter’s hot breath in your face, and 18% bodyfat and admission that you messed up, royally. Today, I trained my favorite body part–back. I have to look at my schedule but I think this is the end of my heavy cycle and light egins tomorrow. I’ve made tweaks to the diet and I’m ready to go. I was so fueled this morning, I looked like a mad woman. I just pushed as hard as I could–keeping the best forms that I could. I incorporated the things that I know that work, but are difficult for me, like pull-ups. I had some pre-determined numbers and made sure that at every set I beat those numbers. That’s what I’ll be doing for each light/heavy cycle—trying to beat myselg–even if its just 2 2/1 pounds. Something will be better than before! I will not hinder my own goals.

Why was my oatmeal slimy this morning?

Oh, I am also replacing the protein powder as much as possible. I did this during prep, but I think I am going to do my body a favor and do it as much as possible. This morning I had oatmeal and a turkey patty, intead of my usually oatmeal mixed with protein powder. I’lls ae the powders for, for example, when I’m teaching and my time to eat falls during class time, I carry it in my gym bag if I get a bit woozy or nauseous, or if I need to cook and I need something immediately after training. In other words, if I can’t get to real food. If my body doesn’t have that to process, maybe I can get these 5-6 pounds off a little more efficiently and down to the maintenance 12%.

Also, today is progress picture day. I am not too thrilled but, hey, here is it!

I saw my coach in San Francisco today. The objective for today was to get our starting point. The results are in and steady carbs are not for me–at all. The results of the past few weeks?

-18 and a HALF % bodyfat, up from 15% (5 weeks out from showtime October 2009)

-138 pounds

-pre-menstrual (could be holding 4-5 pounds of water, but who are we kidding)

 So, I am going to go back to what works, with some tweaking. I was pissed for a minute–seething, dissapointed, felt like a failure. BUT, these feelings didn’t last long. It is part of the process. It’s March 2007 all over again. I had to figure things out. I had to go to the drawing board and take what I knew and mix it with some new information. Plus, I know what to do. It is so easy to get caught up with what is wrong and actually forget everything you know. While I was fussing at myself, I had to pause. "What a second! You KNOW what to do. You know how to manipulate your body through proper diet and training. You have not stopped training the diet isn’t clean and you know it. Shut up and fix it!"

FACT: Carb cycling worked for a good two years. I don’t get the bloated feeling because I can eat carbs based on my needs.

FACT: Steady carbs gives me GREAT energy, but I am hanging over my pants like a plumber. I have built some muscle and stayed relative lean. I just need to find ‘new numbers’ and learn what this body needs.

FACT: I like to get my carbs early in the day. In the evening I feel too heavy, with the exception of when I train at night.

FIX: Raise ‘low’ day to around 80-100 grams and high day to around 150 gram-revealutate every other week when I meet Frank.

FIX: I know my new workout program is challenging and is proven to build muscles. And I LOVE the variety. I also am increasing my post-session cardio, a bit.

Also, because of my impending cycle, we are pushing back the trial deplete.

Another thing that I am enjoying is the numbers. I love talking the numbers–weights, reps, increasing weights, being PRs, body fat percentages, body measurements. I will have actually hard data about my progress, not just the photos and the scale. I am off to fitday.com to create my menu and start cooking. The little one asked for spaghetti squash and she will get her wish!

October 22 

I am weighing in at about 136. My carbs are in the hundreds and even a bit higher. I am going down to 50 grams next week for the mock deplete. I am so excited about this if for no other reason than to see what happens. I have been doing alot of supersetting and not I am focusing more on strength. This week, I increase my weights and decrease my sets. when doing shoulder presses, I got to a weight that I couldn’t push up. So, I held it and pulsed it. It was such a rush, just trying to get the weight up. My training is not as neat and calculated. The focus is increasing the weight and getting it up–safely!

October 21

Yesterday, it felt like I was getting sick. GREAT! I couldn’t risk it, especially with my students performing, today. And I have a meeting with Frank this Saturday. So, I took it easy. Better safe. Today, I’m fine and my student’s performance was a super success. This is my heavy week. It was fun to see how much I could lift and how many reps I could do. I get DOMS quicker, now. I am usually sore by the end of the day. Everything for abs has to be weighted. For example, I did my decline crunches with a 25# plate. I couldn’t get too many reps per set. I maxed out at around 15 and then each set got harder and harder. The great thing is that I’m sore and I have something to work towards. I love having nuts back in my diet! What a treat! And the occasional bowl of cereal is heaven! I need to stock up on some fish. I think the spaghetti squash is making me gassy. But I’m going to eat it anyway. It’s good!

I wanted to do legs this morning but slept late. I got a full 8 hours and I didn’t want to cut the workout short. I’ll be going in tonight.  Speaking of full, that is what I am. I don’t know if these 200 grams of carbs daily is going to be the plan, but I trust my coach. FLUFFY!! I am now at 138. He is probably going to want me to cap at 140#, which would be about 10 pounds from my stage weight–at least that is where I would like to be. 130 pounds at 8-9%.  We shall see what that looks like. The deplete begins monday with 50 grams of carbs. And honestly, it will be a bit of a relief to feel lighter. As a matter of fact, I didn’t eat my morninng oats! That was a shocker. I made it, put it to much lips, and didn’t want it. I settled for two peices of protein toast with natural peanut butter and fruit spread for a bit of sweetness. No oatmeal–wow! Plus, I don’t have my favorite protein powder for my oatmeal. I like Gaspari’s chocolate to drink and I like ON’s vanilla Pro Complex for my oats because it’s not as sweet. But I make due. I also need to go grocery shopping badly!

Well, it looks like I need to figure out what’s for lunch!