Making_A_Change’s BodyBlog

On Saturday, I had a GREAT leg day! I mean ga-reat! I was able to press weights that I havne’t been able to do in a while. I have taken the nutritionists information to heart. I am re-working my diet and increasing my calories, fats, and carbohydrates. I’ll admit, I was worried. But then I took a step back. Why? Why would I be scared? If it doesn’t work? That is just more information. If I hit that stage and I don’t look as I envisioned, I may be disappointed. I failed to have a real ‘off season’ and it bit me in the butt. What I am doing now is probably what I should have done weeks ago. I was fighting was my  body needed and it won. I am now submitting and giving it what it needs to train even harder. I am increasing my low day from 50 grams or around 70-80 grams and my high day from under 100 grams to around 150 grams. It is my hope that doing this, coupled with the fasted cardio several times per week will yeild some noticeable changes. I incorporated running into my last prep, which was different. And it worked for me. Now, I am on the edge, again, trying something new. My long-term plans are to do my first National show and it is ‘mistakes’ like this that are only going to help me in the long-run.

Physically, my energy levels have been more consistent. Mentally, my mood and motivation is much better. There was a point where I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to compete. I was just tired of the tug of war. What do I eat, now? I am too off track? What’s with this huge flap on my lower abs, again? What changes do I need to be making?

Now, I am going to relax, train, and see what happens on this ‘new’ plan. I have added whole eggs a 1/2 cup of oats, and I am going to be eating alot more fish.

I went ahead and completed my fasted cardio session. It is still difficult for me because the pre-workout meal is engrained in me. But, it is a good change. Another advantage, I found is that it is so much faster to get out of the door. I get dressed, drink my NO, and leave. But I always have my protein shake in my bag to ‘break open in case of emergency’. I was surprised at how great I felt, though. I did 30 minutes on the step mill and then I ran at a 1% incline and at 6.5 mph for another 20 minutes. I even followed it up with abs! I felt light, energetic, and focused. My post-workout meal was 1/2 c of oats instead of 1/4 cup. And THAT felt like alot. Billy hooked me up with a nutritionist who is providing some guidance. He recommended increasing my fats with 1 t of peanut butter and take some B12 pre-cardio. He confirmed what I suspected, I’m underfed. I have increased my lean muscle mass and my body is yearning for a little more. So, I have made it a point to add a bit more variety. I’ve fallen in love with tofu, again. It has been a nice change and it’s so versatile.

My eating was alot better. I prepared my portions, ate it cold, and got it done. My chest and triceps are sore. Tonight, I am going in for cardio and I will give my calves some attention. I will do fasted cardio tomorrow morning. And I plan on doing back and biceps with Billy on Friday night.

Oxygen and M and F Hers are on the stands and I bought several issues of each for our library and for my family. I need to do some laundry. I am already out of gym bottoms!

I am playing with my food. I have already qualified for nationals–so why not. I upped my morning oats to 1/2 c. from 1/4 c. and what a difference this morning! I felt alert and more ‘grounded’ in the morning. I also found that now that I have my students, my schedule is so jammed packed that it was difficult to eat on time and what I needed to eat. I need to go back to preparing my food by meals and not just bulk. I am going to do that tomorrow. Tonights workout was fantastic! I upped my SuperPump to a full scoop. About 20 minutes after taking it—I was ready to get to the gym. I went with the intention of just doing cardio, but my feet took me to the free weights where I did and hour of chest and triceps! I am think about doing fasted cardio in the morning and lifting in the evening when I don’t have to rush. In light of my performance these past few weeks, fasted cardio may be what I need. Every prep has taught me something new, and this one is no different. This one has been harder than the rest. There have even been moments that I just don’t want to compete and have questioned myself. I haven’t liked the way that my body feels. My energy is everywhere–I haven’t been able to find that happy medium. I eat and then I am immediately hungry. Sometimes, my appetite just isn’t there, at all. Other times, I just want carbs and no protein. It has been a huge puzzle to figure out what I need to sustain this level of training. Ultimately, I need to go about it just as I did for the July show–take notes, learn, try something new, and see what happens. I am enjoying running more and more, so I am going to do that in addition to the stairmill and stairs.

Tomorrow, I also try skipping my cycle. I am really excited to see what happens and how that goes. Hopefully, it works and I won’t have to worry about that in October.

This week has come and gone. My head is still spinning. I had a huge shift in my work responsibilities and I will not being teaching the technology classes. Instead, I will be a homeroom teacher teacher and I will be teaching Language Arts. I tought a Literacy Intervention class for struggling readers and writers. It was a small class of 10-12. Now, I have my own classroom and 20 students. So, I have spent the last week learning curriculum and setting up the classroom. It has been stressful. I am up for the challenge. I love teaching. It’s funny because I didn’t plan on becoming one. It sort of happened. It was very organic. One day I was subbing, then team teaching, then my own class.  My administration says that I have ‘it’–the ‘it’ that can’t be taught. This year I will be refining my skills and earning my California teaching credential. I hve alot of work to do—alot. But, I think I will be better for it in the end.

Training-wise, I have been feeling hungry. But my training has been GREAT! I had two leg days this week and a strong back day. I met with Billy for the first time in 4 weeks and did legs will him Friday night. I am walking like an invalid today. Everything that should be sore is–glutes, hamstrings, and quads. My legs are swollen which makes posing and flexing difficult; but that will pass. I am also weighing more these days–136. I am fuller and ‘harder’ with the additional carbs. I feel like I am back at the drawing board and, once again, trying to work a new puzzle. This body needs something different–but what? What I originally had as low carbs is too low. The feeling is similar to how I feel a few weeks out from competition and its too early for that. And I am sure that it has alot to do with me being back and work and us being in our newer and larger facility. For the past week we have been running back and forth, hanging up posters, and just moving. I feel like I am at the point where I need someone else to advise me on the nutritional aspect. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, but I need another perspective. Another pair of eyes.

Tomorrow, I think Mo and I are meeting for our Sunday run; I didn’t confirm. If not, I’ll be doing biceps and triceps because the legs are shot. Then, I’ll follow tha tup with 40 minutes of stairs. Finishing strong…

Today was a great day. I felt good and I ate good. I am getting my water in, too. But the hard part is that it zaps my appetite, so I have to force myself to eat. I definitely prefer that to the ‘I better hurry up and eat before I get hungry’ scenario. I didn’t get to do legs, yesterday. So, I have to refigure my week. My off day just came a bit early. I am going to attempt to get legs done tonight–fast and furious. My Buddy and I are considering doing a show in Sacramento in November. Even if I don’t compete it’ll be a nice road trip. It is just a few weeks out from the SF Championships. I feel like throwing caution to the wind and just going for it!

In the meantime, writing for EdgeHers has been fun. I write weekly. And I try to make it a little different than this blog. I have also scheduled another shoot with Weiferd. I think we are going to do something more industrial this time. I found a few cute outfits at Target that I am really excited about. The little one is fed, bathed, and homework is finished. Her school is strict. She is in kidergarten, and they have daily planners and a reading log. Everything is in a binder and the expectation is that there work is neat and clean when it is returned. They are expected to be ‘Super Scholars’. Well, I am off to the gym before it gets late–I have to get it done.

My morning began with a 3 mile run with Mo, my Fitness Buddy. There are two sets of stairs and we hit the first set for 6 setsx 5 cycles. We hit the second set of stairs for 6 runs, as well. the run back was rough, but we got it done. I wanted to to my cardio tonight. But this is my way of inching back into my routine. Tomorrow, I will be doing legs and abs and then cardio in the evening. I’ll be warming up with my 3-4 pull-ups! It seemed like the fog lifted after 7 days, or something. It is hard to describe. My motivation is back. And while my strength is still a little on the low side, that is to be expected. It’s not a full body ‘blah’ feeling.

Unfortunately, I didn’t cook tonight. I was up doing my daughter’s hair instead. So, I am going to start cooking a few breasts when i get home from the gym. No biggie. I just can’t get away with that once I have students.

 Until tomorrow!

"The Mirena Crash". That is what they call the hormonal and physical changes that occur not long after one’s IUD is removed. While I could not find much in the way of solid medical information. I found more than my share of anecdotal information. Now, I believe that anecdotal information can be helpful. There is alot to gleen from another’s personl experience. That is why we blog, right? We blog because we know there is going to be someone somewhere who can relate to our struggles. Someone who has felt what we have felt or has tried something that we want to try and have had some success. As I was reading through the various blogs and articles about "The Crash" there were several threads that ran through all of them: fatigue, some sort of mood swing, and weight gain. Many women complained of 20, 30, and 40 pounds of extra weight. Then, I began to think about how I have been feeling and looked at my past blogs. And a light went off. I am gun shy. What happened was scary. I control everything about my body. I know what to eat to make my body perform. I lift to change it’s composition. I am learning to manipulate my body to be contest-ready. I can predict what I will weigh from day to day. I know my body very well. It was difficult for me to loose control of its functions. I could not control what was happening to me. Then, I realized. Okay, my body took a hit. The blood loss probably suddenly worsened the anemia that I have. So, I know the fatigue is real–and this is where I believe the weight gain could  occur–then, followed by the moodiness or depression. I have had zero motivation to workout the last few days. None. Not at all. My legs have felt like wet noodles and my head is cloudy. I began thinking, if I continue like this I will jeopardize my progress. I won’t be ready. And more importantly, that feeling of wellness that I enjoy, moves further and further out of my grasp. Plus, if training makes me good, not training is going to make me feel worse.What would I tell someone in my situation? See your doctor. (Check) Monitor your body. (Check) Eat well. (Check) Get back in the game and work your way back up.

I did that tonight. I went in like an addict looking for a fix. It was late, but I was going to the gym and I was leaving with a pump and some endorphins. I started with my 10 minute warm-up. And I had to let negative thoughts go. It felt like I was working a little harder than usual, but I was okay. 10 minutes done. I decided to do back. I lowered the weights a bit and focused on contracting the muscles, perfect form, and my breathing. I supersetting with some curls. I did: seated rows/bb cursl; one-armed rows/pull overs; seated bb curl overhand/more curls; reverse lat pull downs/hammer curls; cable. I got a good pump and I had some nice fullnes which could have been due to the ‘break’. I am still going to take it day by day. I went in with the goal to do 30 minutes of something and it turned into a decent hour. I have another day under my belt and it feels good. Really, really good.

I stayed home from work. That is so hard for me. I feel so uncomfortable making that call saying that I am not going to be in. I don’t like to miss work. BUT, on a positive note, I got alot of work done and was able to send it in. That feels great. Having this experience has been a blessing in disguise. I not know what real fatigue feels like to me. I was rarely out of the bed. I set my block for every 2.5-3 hours so that I would eat on time time. The doctor strongly recommended that I double up on the iron for the next 12 weeks-done. I ate lots of leafy greens.  I am drink my water, but could do better. I am taking my progress pictures tomorrow. There isn’t much progress thijs week, nor did I expect it.

Today, I was thinking about how much I missed the endorphins. It wasn’t about the competition or the number of weeks out. Even though it’s been less than a week, I miss that general feeling of wellness, the pump that comes from a good workout, and that cleansing sweat that lets you know that you have done something.

Well, I am still playing it by ear. I will determine Another pattern I have noticed is that if I reach a physical challenge or roadblock of some kind, it takes a bi tlonger ro recover. I wonder if this has to do with my change in body composition. I am actually a bit tired and I’m going to go to sleep early. My daughter has Saturday School tomorrow. Her school has Saturday School several times per semester. For this one, we get to attend a meeting with the principal and visit the classrooms. My daughter is a Table Captain and that makes her day! Her responsibilities include: passing out and collecting papers, distributing pencils, collecting markers, etc. She loves this! And I love that she’s excited about it.

I just want to train. I made it to the gym yesterday for abs and a short bout of cardio. I thought I was taking it easy. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe I should have given myself a few more days. I feel awful today. It is actually one of those days when I am wondering whether or not I can be ready. Self-doubt is running amuck. I even had to be driven home like an invalid. I was feeling week, light-headed, fatigued. I even went to sleep during my lunch break, but that didn’t help. It was difficult to keep my eyes open. My plan? I am getting plenty of sleep and keeping my butt out of the gym for the next few days. I am probably making much ado about nothing. But I enjoy training and this week I haven’t been able to git the gym with the intensity that I know I can and it’s maddening. If I had some ice cream in this apartment, I’d be eating it. I am thankful to have had friends who were looking out and who ignored my ‘I’m fines.’ It’s humbling, to say the least.

I am actually feeling ‘normal’, today. I feel strong and, more importantly, alert and awake. Yesterday, I could barely keep my eyes open. I just wanted to sleep. From what I understand, what I experienced is not uncommon. And I’d really like to thank those who shared their experiences. One woman I work with described her event as "straight out of a scene of the Godfather!" Can you imagine that? I am just thankful it didn’t happen while I was teaching and was with children.

I am going into the gym today to test drive everything and get back on track. I wanted to begin my double cardio a week ago, that didn’t happen as planned. BUT, I am going to take the remaining 8 weeks and work it out. Tonight, will probably be: back, biceps, and abs. And we will go from there. I’ll be sure to log my workout and how it went. For now,  I am off to eat some chicken salad and finish setting up my classroom.