Making_A_Change’s BodyBlog

I can’t find my MP3 player and had to workout this morning without it. I tried to be positive and say–ok, now I can really focus on my form and concentrate on what I have to do. I t was good for about 30 minutes, then I couldn’t take it and had to go. I noticed that my upper body is getting leaner. I saw muscle fibers and it was motivating to see muscles contract and move. But I need that bump in my ear–it helps set a butt-kicking tone. The gym was playing that acoustic guitar stuff.

 Fast Forward to NOW:

I found my MP3 player it was in my cooler. Whew! I have been having a hard time keeping the pants up–saggy jean butt syndrome. So, I decided to stop by the GAP and see if I could get some pants that fit. I am wearing a 6, now. It’s like this body isn’t mine–but it is!I took off my pants and slipped into a size that I had no idea that I could get into. I look in the mirror and I see that I am indeed firmer and leaner, but then to be 8 sizes smaller than I was 10 months ago is hard to describe.

I am getting use to my ’strength’ cycle; I wouldn’t have been able to recognize it if I hadn’t been blogging and reading other blogs. My energy was low, I had to drag my butt to the gym. I literally kept repeating–no regrets, no regrets, no regrets. I had to remind myself that I would feel better physically and mentally. My body would feel better and stronger having gone and mentally–I would be free of the thoughts of "I shoulda" and "Now, I am going to hafta go later". I do feel better, but I am a little tired. Knowing that things will improve within the next few days is helpful.That knowledge helps me work through the lows to get to the highs. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and just couldn’t stand to do another 20 so I went to the treadmill at walked on an incline. I did a few sets of abs and that was it. I didn’t even feel like waking up early to eat my 4 a.m. meal! I did stay up late trying to watch The Wire. My husband Netflix’d it. I always say I am disinterested in his choices, but almost always get sucked in.

The husband has been apartment shopping. We have been going back and forth about public schools versus private schools for our daughter. And he sent me some rental properties in a nearby district–nice neighborhoods (I lived in the area as an undergraduate student), good public schools, and near two Targets, a Safeway, and an Albertson’s (you had me at Target). I have finally decided to seriously consider moving to this city. Besides, it about a year and a half away, if we did it. So, I send an e-mail back to the husband to say–I’m down to look under the following conditions–I must be near a full-service gym. So, my friend who works with him e-mails me saying that he was seriously doing research about gyms in the area. There were none! Just a ‘fit-lite’, some facility with cardio machines and ‘limited free weights’…and a Curves. I know Curves works for some, but not me. The nearest gym is the next city over and my current gym would be a 20+ minute drive on the freeway. I can and will sacrafice alot of things. And I will certainly do right by my daughter, but I need fitness (as I currently know it) in my life. This makes me happy. I like that I am 3 minutes from my gym and 2 minutes from the lake which a 3 mile run. I like that my trainer lives not too far away and is able to meet with me easily. This has become such a huge part of my life and I need to know that it is going to remain a part of it. I have overcome alot of mental obstacles to get to this point and I am quite sure that when and if we move, I’ll figure something out–but he knows what I need to be happier. It is just interesting how much this thing we call bodybuilding has changed me.

Drill and Kill, the term used to describe the process of rote memorization in schools, but clearly appropriate when describing today’s PT session. I spent the hour in the corner of the stretching/lifting area with 10# dbs, 8# dbs, and a jump rope and got worked over. It was so much fun-jumping jacks, jumping rope, squats, jumping rope, push-ups, jumping rope, lifting, pulling, grunting–it was so great.  I worked in 5 minute curcuits and then got to rest. For example, I had to jumprope for a minute then go directly into squat/shoulder presses or one -legged bent over shoulder presses. There were no cables, no machines. I am actually really glad that we did that. In May, I may be going to a conference and I was worried about the gym faciilities–but no more. I could carry some tubing and a jumprope and be just fine. I knew that, but now I am convinced. My heartrate was up and I struggled. I like the struggle. There is something about working towards a goal. I had to do these push-ups and then push myself into a ‘ball’, then stand up. It was challenging, but there was a sense of pride and accomplishment b/c I could do it. My body is able to do things that I was, at one time, unable to do.
I am also happy to say that my butt is sore, which means the one-legged leg presses worked! It was also a good move to not work my quads yesterday and just work my hamstrings and glutes. I wouldn’t have been able to successfully complete today’s workout otherwise. Billy took note of the separation in my delts and traps-woo hoo! He said my back was looking good, too. That means I gotta take a few pictures to see what he sees.

Now, to try and get down some more water before my next meal.

Went to the gym with the intention of doing legs, decided to do glutes and hamstrings. Tomorrow, I wil see Billy and he is going to have me squatting all over the place, so the quads will be fresh for tomorrow. I warmed up for 15 minutes. Then I headed over to the leg press. I started with 90#, then 140#, then 190#. I took off the 4-25# plates and also did one-legged presses. The best part was that my entire butt was on fire–YES! That is exactly what I want. Between the squats, deadlifts, one-legged squats, and my trusty ankle cuffs, I am well on my way to building my dream butt–firm, round, and slapalicious. My energy level was really good; I felt strong. I did run into some nausea while doing my deadlifts. I was going heavy (for me) and was using my hooks. At least I know why–I ate, but waited too long to get to the gym. My appetite is back and I may need a few more calories.  I finished off my workout with 20 minutes of incline walking and immediately went home to eat some curry chicken and potatoes.

I LOVE shredded wheat! The fiber is great, I add a few more carbs, and it feels like a treat to me! I have become an ON Optimum Protein powder convert. The chocolate is so good! I even had it hot and it tasted like creamy hot chocolate. Funny how you learn to made substitutions and reclaim some of those little things that you have gone without. I used to love Starbuck’s hot chocolate, until I learned about the calories and that you don’t get skim milk unless you ask.

For my complex carbs, I made some mashed potatoes out of purple potatoes. I just needed a break from brown rice. My duaghter thought the purple side-dish was cool. She is having her first sleep over this Saturday, so I am going to make that for her and her guest. I also introduced her to Chinese eggplant this weekend. I sauteed them with chopped garlic, some season salt, pepper, and squeezed a bit of lemon juice on them–she tore them up. Unfortunately, I only bought one. She ate all of it! I get alot of joy out of watching her eat new foods and like it.

Well, it’s Sunday–prep day. I have clothes to wash and iron, meals to prepare, and lesson plans to review.

This morning, I planned on sleeping in, until around 8:00 or so, then hit the gym. By the time 6:00 a.m. rolled around, I was too hungry to sleep in. I got up ate a pair and guzzled down a chocolate protein shake, went back to bed for 30 minutes, then headed on out to the gym. I was feeling a little more energetic than yesterday. I didn’t do legs, and the funny thing was that while I had planned to do them yesterday, I completely forgot about that plan and just did chest. I just felt right, I guess. I did press/flye combinations, one-armed flyes, bb chest presses, shoulder presses, and some abs. I wanted to go home, but decided to get my 10 minutes of cardio at the end. I ended up running for 20 minutes @ 6-6.5 mph. By the tenth minute, I had a comfortable stride going, so I figured ‘why not keep going? enjoy the feeling of better health’.

I am seeing alot of new faces at the gym. I like the new energy and I have figured out the new down times–my usual 5 a.m. time and around 10 p.m. is good. I am continuing to become more ‘veiny’. My daughter said, "Mommy, your hands have stripes, like old people". The ’stripes’ she was referring to were the veins. I just looked down and said, "Hmm. When’d my hands get all veiny?"

There was no school for the students today, just report card writing. I didn’t get up early. The alarm went off at 4 a.m., the time that I have been eating my pre-workout meal, but I was just not feeling it. I put in a twelve hour day and didn’t get home until around 8:30 p.m. I was determined to build up my strength and get another workout in. So, I dragged my butt to the gym about an hour later (making it 4x this week). I got 30 minutes of med/hi intensity cardio in and really worked my abs. Finally, a decent workout; I spent a little over an hour at the gym. Tomorrow morning, I am going for a leg workout. I am regaining my strength. My weight has dipped to 148, but I know that it is because of my reduced appetite, but it’ll come back. I feel so refreshed, my co-teacher said, "I can tell you haven’t worked out, yer crabby". (She’s my partner in crime, she can say that.) Physically and psychologically, I really missed this outlet. Looking forward to meeting the morning with a good sweat.

So, I haven’t been to the gym since Monday. Still feeling achy, but not getting better or worse–annoying. Either get sick or get well, already! (Sigh.) Be patient. I’ve nursed myself as much as I could (while still going to work) and I was just tired of it. I needed to get moving. I just got back from the gym I was there for about 45 minutes and I focused on back. I did just a few excercises: lat pull downs, bent over rows, one-armed rows, bicep curls (one-set). Then I walked for 10 minutes. I’ve had worse workouts while feeling well, so that gave me some consolation. I was definitely still weak, but moving and stretching felt good.

I woke up with a sore throat and a low-grade fever. I had to cancel by session with Billy. I am not at the point where I am laid up, or anything. However, the last time that I felt like this and eeked out a workout I ended up feeling 10 times worse in the end. I tried to call him @ 4:30 a.m., but did get a hold of him. I met his at the gym at 4:50. He said he could tell as soon as I got out of the car something was wrong. He told me ‘no problem’ and his wife was laid up with some virus. I’ll be back at it tomorrow. I just didn’t want to waste the man’s time. There was no pushing it today. So, with some intense workouts in my pocket, this is my off day, and we’ll see how tomorrow feels. I am riding this wave of workout euphoria, right now. Some days (like now) I just love it and can’t get to the gym soon enough. Some days, I have to kick myself to get out of the bed–but I get there. But I enjoy the benefits everyday, so it is never a questions of if I am going to do it or not anymore.

In the meantime, I’ll drink lots of warm, lemon tea (just lemon, honey, and bit of brown sugar).  I don’t care for real tea. I’ve never liked the taste.  And try and remember to eat my appetite is gone.

I am doing a project with some of my kids at school about different forms and functions of graffiti, so I’ll be out for about an hour taking pictures for a PowerPoint presentation. I have rather enjoyed it. I have pictures of vadalized property like churches, schools, apartments, and stores (graffiti that hurts). But then I also have community murals, memorials, historical murals, and decorative murals on schools and liquor stores (graffiti that heals). It has actually been an enjoyable project.

And the Little One is turning 4 tomorrow, so I am picking up lasagna (not making it this year), salad, bottled waters, and a cupcake cake for her class. To date, she has only had family or school parties. When she turns 5–she’ll have her first ‘real’ party. There is just no time to the under the weather.

This morning’s workout was great. I felt very energetic and focused and I am learning to take full advantage of these times! I did 30 minutes on the elliptical with the handles (my favorite machine, now). Then I did dips, press downs  to fatigue, and alot of weighted ab work on the floor and using the rope attachment on the cable machine (used 120# on this one). I ate 1/2 a banana before my workout and afterwards helped myself to 3 protein pancakes with extra blueberries. This weekend consisted on two cheat meals (planned and accounted for). I had sushi. This was considered a cheat becuase of the white rice. And last night, my sorority sisters got together and I had three slices of a personal pizza (cheese and spinach) and a chocolate souffle (mmmmmm….). I balanced that with the notion that my 30 minutes of cardio the following morning (today) would be intense. And today, I am going to a baby shower, but the eating will be clean. I am going to eat prior to the shower (probably a high fiber cereal) and pack my protein shake. It’s only a few hours–and the focus will be on the new arrival, anyway!

Update: Great food at the shower-a soul food feast. I had a few pieces of friend catfish, about a 1 c. of greens, and green salad. I had a handful of Hershey’s kisses. Then I chased it all down with about 3 glasses of water (and still drinking). My next meal will be a shake, then spinach and chicken for my late dinner. And tomorrow it’s me and Billy!