Making_A_Change’s BodyBlog

I just can’t seem to feel satisfied. Normally, I eat my 5-6 small meals per day. If I’m hungry, I listen to my body and eat. I have been doing a better job of staying hydrated. But I am so hungry, and as a result my resolve feels compromised. I have a box of See’s candy in my car, a gift from a co-worker, that I refuse to bring inside because I know it would be over. My vice has been crackers, something I typically don’t have to taste for. I know the increased appetite has something to do with my period starting next week, but could it also be an increase in my metabolism? Whatever it is, I would like it to stop–especially with all of the treats that are lying around. My only consolation is that working out is non-negotiable and just something that I do–and enjoy on a good day. Or could it be the increased workouts to balance out the extra snacking is, in turn, making me hungry?

I took today off from the gym, but I thought about it all day like a fiend. I even considered a ‘light’ jog around the lake. But no, 6 days and one day of rest is the drill. So, tomorrow I’ll be in the gym bright and early–oooh, it’s a leg day! Lots of sweat! Hack squats, leg presses, leg extensions, leg curls, squats, and calf raises, followed by 10-15 minutes of running–it is more than a bit odd that I am looking forward to this so much. It is funny how something that began as a chore, became a habit, and then an ‘addiction’. I need it to feel ‘normal’. I go to the gym even when I don’t want to. There are the times that I love what I am doing, but I always appreciate what it does for me.

This morning I did biceps and shoulders. I tried to kill ‘em, too.  I love that when I work them now, I can see my triceps when I lower the weights. Over the next two weeks I am going to work doubly (is that a word?)hard. Maybe 2 days of double cardio a week–just to shake things up. I haven’t had a day off in almost a week so tomorrow will be an off day whether I want to or not. I need to have some recovery time I can feel my body feeling kind of beat up,  in a good way, of course. It is always nice to have that feeling that comes with a good hard workout. Overall, I am enjoying my body’s changes and I am always amazed. Again, the today the focus is keeping it clean to balance the  carb-tastic time I’ve had. It is a bit challenging as I sit and look at the See’s candy and homemade cookies on my desk. But, I need to feel balanced and ‘normal’, again before I have a taste. I can wait. In the meantime, the family and I have been tearing up those cute little mandarin oranges–oh my gosh–those things are so good. They are sweet and juicy. And the best part is that Little Bit can peel them herself. We each eat 4-6 of those things per night, they don’t last. There are so many things that I need to get done over the next few weeks. If I had to make a resolution, it would be to get organized and STAY organized. I have already begun to get rid of alot of stuff in every room. My goal is the start my new and improve organized life ASAP. The ‘get organized’ resolution is way easier than the ‘lose-weight resolution.

November 19

I got up a little late and just couldn’t get it together. Where are my glasses? My keys? There was no towel in my backpack. Where’s my sweatshirt? Where’s my bandana? I was feeling a little scattered, but I got to the gym. It was a fairly quick workout, maybe 40 minutes at best. My carb/sweet rampage is over. I just had my brocolli and meatless patty and it was the bomb.

Seems like Tuesday has become cardio and stretch day. The soreness is greatly reduced when I do this. Although, this morning I seriously wanted to stay in the bed, but who comes in? My baby with her blanket and patent leather shoes in hand. That’s what she does when she likes something. She sleeps with it. It is 4:40 a.m. she is striking up a conversation (welcome to my bedroom)–so, when is the sun coming out? Go to sleep. Is it raining? Yes, go to sleep. I like the rain. I can wear my rainboots, huh? Yes, stop moving and go to sleep? I want a Dora Umbrella. Uh-huh. I think I need to see a doctor. I’m coughing. No, you’re okay. Just be quiet.

<strong />So much for even considering sleeping in–if I’m not going to get some sleep, might as well get up and do something. Nothing to report other than I am bloated and hungry–aah…the period’s coming. Seems like my palate changes, I want more carbs and certainly more sweets. I was obvious yesterday, when I found myself thinking crackers were just the bombest thing ever. I just consider it a ‘refeed’, since I keep my carbs moderate/low most of the time, these times don’t hurt too much. But my workouts have been on point, though.

I love this man! Today, we focused on calisthenics. He got my heart rate up so much; I was sucking in so much wind–it was AWESOME!!! Clean lifts, squats, jumping, cable work all of the elements were there. It really is a great way to start the week. It is like, once you work out like that, you don’t want to ruin a good thing with poor food choices. It makes getting through the week with clean eating easier. We are actually training on Christmas Eve. He said he was working and asked if I would be too. I said SURE! I was going to workout in the morning anyway and have a few extra cardio sessions planned–because I will be having my father in law’s Christmas breakfast and that includes a biscuit! He also said it looks like my middle is leaning out. That was nice to hear, becuase I thought I was bloated. The period should be coming soon. This weekend, I couldn’t stay fed, I was eating every 1 1/2-2 hours easy. At one point, I was thinking this can’t be right, and tried to wait. The body threatened to revolt so I ate! I have quite a few friends who are saying that they want to get healthier and I really hope that they were ready and willing to take the steps to do it becuase the feeling is really amazing. The energy, the confidence, getting your swagger back, is priceless. I go back to my old blogs and remember feeling like this was hard, but being at a point where I had to put up or shut up. Fix it or stop hating on that woman with the bomb figure, ripped abs, muscular arms. I was so quick to dismiss that stuff to ‘good genetics’. Genetics will only get you so far. And as we know, ‘looking fit’ (and this is when we associate fit with thin–a mistake) can be an illusion. I could have crashed dieted to my current weight and been wearing the same size–but felt like crap and looked like crap nekked. I probably would have been complimented on my ‘willpower’, though, and still felt like crappity, crap, crap.

My sister’s in North Carolina finally saw my blog and was blown away. She said she was really inspired. She actually started being more serious about her health after a diabetes diagnosis. She lost around 20 pounds and controls her symptoms with her diet–which is great. But she said that she has bee motivated to do more. That makes me proud. I want a health family. I want to grow old with grace. I want to be the mom, grandmother, and great-grandmother with the nice body and who has a closet full of fashionable sweatsuits–not the old lady kind with the loud colors, gold tassels, and silky fabrics that old people like to wear with dressy shoes–not those sweatsuits. I am also working on the husband, too. He is going to jump on this train–all aboard. I want both of us to be our best–to be the best parents we can be and to be the best spouses we can be.

What a great workout this morning. Lat pull downs and squats, seated rows, standing rows, cable ro ws, bent over rows–row, row, row. I felt very energetic and enjoyed my Me Time. By the time that I finished I was starving. So, I am eating a few oranges and drinking a shake. I’ll be stocking up on more meatless patties, those make a great meal in a pinch. Today, I am going to clean up the apartment and relax. I’ll take the little one to the Lake to ride her bike and make dinner for the next few days. Tomorrow is my session with Billy, and I wonder what he is going to want to do. I never know; I just show up and try to give my best. I also need to do some laundry, too. The list just gets longer when I think about–so I won’t!

Because of the holiday party at work and the birthday party that I went to last night, I am going to keep things really clean this week. While I made a consious effort to be reasonable at both events, I want to keep myself in check and on track. It feels better physically when I do. I don’t like the bloating or the stomach aches that come with excess. I like that the feeling that comes with clean eating. I am still working towards that pull up and my two-pack.

The holidays are beginning to stress me out. Not, the food aspect (I got that.) but the where to be part. Do we go to the husband’s family’s house, my parent’s house? Do we drive from one to the other? Whose feelings will be the most hurt (Answer: my mom’s)?  Frankly, I am seriously considering just staying home and baking a chicken and watching Netflix movies. But, going places is also fun for my daughter; she loves being around her Nanas and Papas. I love watching the relationships that she has with each one. On my husband’s side, she can show her sense of humor since they think that whoppie cushions are funny (and who doesn’t like a good fart joke?). And they love to laugh! My parents are more subdued and my daughter is the first and only grandchild–so they give her all the attention and she can do no wrong. They are completely different people around her. When my sister and I were young they ruled with an iron fist, now they are big softies. They asked me what to get Lil’Bit for Christmas and I said: oh, she needs more turtlenecks, some socks, and maybe a few sweaters. My mom says, That’s no fun…Fun? Since when did they worry about fun? It’s pretty funny.

This morning I got to the gym at 6 a.m. Nice and early. I stayed for almost two hours. I admit, I was dilly-dallying a bit. Long rests. People watching. For some reason, I was just into what everyone was doing today. The gym was fairly quiet–the weekday regulars weren’t there. There is one guy, in particular, who know goes out of his way to say hi. He’ll wait until I finish a set and then magically appear. I’ve watched him in the mirror. Stop working out/rest–here he comes; start up again, he slows down. Start up, again–he’s watching. Rest time–hey how’s it goin’?   

I was just enjoying my alone time this morning,  but don’t get me wrong–I did get a GREAT workout in. I did dips with 5 pound dbs in betweeen my legs and hanging knee raises with straight legs–that felt really good. I wasn’t able to do 20-30, they were alot more challenging, and that is what I was looking for. I did lots of chest flyes and presses, shoulder presses and squats. I saw my first shoulder vein–I shall call her Blue. The triceps are growing. It is amazing to watch my body change. It seems like every few weeks, I am able to see something different. It really does give your sort of a high.

Yesterday, we had an office party with Thai food. A great choice. We had pad thai and some vegetable curry dishes. Perfect. I went light on the noodles and had veggies. I did decided to let the guard down, though. Our IT guy made these cookies. They were so amazing, I am going to marry them. They resembled Mexican wedding cookies, but were chocolate. They were Chocolate Snowballs-they were dense, a subtle chocolate taste, had pecans throughout (or maybe walnuts), and were covered in powdered sugar. I had 5 of those things. They were just so freakin’ good and well worth it. I had a stomach ache afte the party, that didn’t last long. The bloating was actually gone by later in the evening. I was sure to drink plenty of water after the festivities. I swear me and some other co-workers looked like straight crack fiends (remember that Dave Chapelle skit?) with out powdery faces. Man—those were some hella good cookies. I made a conscious decision not to bring those home. On a fun note, we are doing Secret Santas–I love that.

The finger is gross. I decided to take off the tape and badages and not worry about getting it wet.  I had to wash around it for a couple of days, and I just couldn’t take it any more. I let it dry completely and put some steri-strips back on the cuts. I am going to have one of those brown nails for a while. There’s a bit of bruising and swelling, but it’s fine.

Funny, how I underestimated, and failed to give full props to the finger. Now, that I have temporarily lost the full strength of one I realize how important it has been to my transformation. I figfured I would make this a leg day and keep my finger out of it. My grip wasn’t as strong for some exercises, so I wasn’t able to do as many reps as I would like to do for fear of dropping the weight. I couldn’t carry as much weight. I had rto carry the 45# plates delicately.  I kiss my biceps. I’ve been flexing the quads in he mirror. I’ve been admiring my shoulders. But, not once did I appreciate the hands that hold the weights, nor the calluses that are the sign of a job well done. Today, I say in the words of the late Tupac Shakur, hands and fingers….you are appreciated.

This morning, I did leg press, hack squats with 90# by myself!!!! This was new to me. I didn’t psych myself out. I put the stoppers on, like Billy told me to do. And I did it! I allowed myself to feel the weight. I really felt it in my butt. I am going to be doing those alot more. Then I focused on the hamstrings today and ran for 15 minutes.  I am going to probably do plymetrics, hard cardio and abs tommorow–to let the my beloved finger rest.

..and the hand blender won. I was cleaning my blender after making a shake and forgot to unplug it. The result, a trip to the emergency room and a tetanus shot. I got four pretty deep cuts, one was on the verge of needing stitches. I got taped up and sent home. I was just worried about being able to work out later, and I can! So, it’s all good. I may try to use my hooks for the week to compensate for the lost finger and just to try them out. By next week, I should be rolling fine. The dr. said that the shot area would be sore, but its no more sore than my regular just worked out pain.
Otherwise, everything is going well. I had a great workout this morning–did back and shoulders.

So, it turns out that, indeed, my workspace is making my effecting my elbow hurt. Our IT guy said he was having some neck issues becuase of his job, cam by and really broke down what I needed to do to make my station more conducive for working and overall health. He said that he was working out regulary, but as his issues became more painful and severe he had to stop. He had the ‘heed this warning’ tone in his voice, and I’m listening. He said that I should be able to ue my arm rests. I realized that I can’t. When I got the chair I was 30 pounds heavier. That is something that I would have never considered. The chair is an expensive ergonomic chair that was purchased based on my ‘dimensions’. My body is considerably slimmer, and now the armrests are no where NEAR my body. I will probably need to switch chairs with someone or get a chair with adjustable armrests. Second, I began using my pointer finger instead of my middle finger on the touchpad. That has made a difference as well. I guess, I was continuously aggravating it throughout the day. I am currently sitting to the right of my chair and using the armrest and making an effort to stay relaxed. We’ll see how everything feels at the end of the week. Let me tell you, those 20# dumbbells are calling me, and I haven’t been able to just take it to the limit and burn my biceps like I want to because of my elbow. And it’s not even my elbow, moreso the ‘top’ of my forearm.

Today, is an Off Day. I decided to get the sleep. The Little One was cold and decided to sleep between me and my husband. She will be 4 next month. Over the passed few weeks she seems to have gotten HUGE. She seems more SOLID and has gotten taller. She just couldn’t get comfortable and insisted that we ‘were taking her space’. Whose bed is this anyway. Finally, an hour later she proclaims–I am going to my room. Daddy, come tuck me in and turn on the heater". And off she went. Today’s lunch is going to be good–baked ginger chicken and brocolli, of course.

I guess you could say it was an active rest day. I did 40 minutes of cardio and a few set of abs. I got a good sweat going. I am feeling GREAT! My appetite has increased so, I have added an additional scoop of protein powder to my shakes for the last few days and a 1/2 banana for additional calories. If this doesn’t feel like enough I’ll add to one of my early meals.

I think I found the source of my elbow issues. It’s my work station. I am an ergonomic mess, right now. I am going to make some adjustments and see how it goes.