Making_A_Change’s BodyBlog

Another hard morning waking up, again. If my daughter wakes up at any point in the night and her pull-up is wet, she immediately comes into our room and wants it changed. Usually, she can get it done herself and she goes back to bed, but if she has trouble with her pajama and bottoms or wearing difficult bottoms (last night she slept in her swimsuit) she needs help. Most times I just can’t get back to sleep quickly enough so I feel tired in the morning. But, I got to the gym and started off with  my 10 minute warm-up. I felt a little weak, but I was determined to make the workout count. Afterall, it would be relatively short because I was a little late. I really need to just wake up like I do for my trainings. I am at the gym by 4:45. I put my stuff away and then I am doing my warm-up my 4:50 and workout out by 5:00 a.m. Then I get a full hour and another 10 minutes if I need it. There is such an ebb and flow to this whole fitness-being. Some weeks, it is so hard. But then I have times, like now, where I am just euphoric. My strength is increasing and my balance is improving. My core is alot stronger, I can tell when I am going ab work. My husband said he can see ‘an ab’! I’ll take it!

I took a hot bath last night to relax and I forgot to put on shea butter afterwards. Dang, I had ultra-ashy legs at the gym. I was embarrassed for a non-second and kept steppin’. I think I am going to do some cardio tonight–if I am still feeling froggy. Tonight, I get to go shopping for a dress and shoes for me and my daughter. Husband is already taken care of. We are taking pictures tomorrow. I am definitely going to try and find something sleeveless so that I can unleash the guns. Maybe I should bring some dumbbells to the shoot. Can you imagine going to a portrait studio and some lady is a holiday dress and heels is doing curls, push-ups, and dips. That would be hilarious–and yet somehow not a bad idea. LOL! I have to figure out how to do my hair. It all depends on the dress–will I wear it out in all its natural glory or go for a more gentile updo. We’ll see.

I am sure that many people go through this, but I am so bored with chicken. I’ll admit, I haven’t been putting much thought into it–I just bake it, throw some garlic, onions, and mushrooms on it and call it a day. Very ho-hum. Yesterday, I prepared to bake my chicken, once again, and noticed that I had BBQ sauce in my cabinet. I put some on it and baked the chicken, as usual. What a taste sensation! It is such a small thing, but definitely the difference that I needed to make chicken a little exciting. It’s not my father-in-laws sauce, but it’s good enough. I cook with curry alot, but I am definite going to get more Food Network with it–more herbs, more spices, maybe I’ll inject a few breasts with something. I saw a recipe on FN where breast were injected with spinach and ricotta cheese. That sounds like the bomb, right there.

This morning’s workout was cardio and abs because I got up late–around 5:10 a.m. All I remember is that I alarm went off. I pushed the snooze button, I laid down (big mistake), and that’s all she wrote. I still had a great workout, though. I was going to do the recumbant bike, but I couldn’t get away from the elliptical with the handles. I really like working my upper and lower at the same time, now. I feel like I get more of a workout. I usually run after weights, I’ll try alternating with the bike or save my knees.

All of the bloating is gone, now. I’m back to 156.  I am one pound away from a 30 pound weight loss. Holy crap! I can’t curl or do shoulder presses with 30 pound dumbbells (yet)! That is only 10 pounds less than my daughter. It’s like losing a toddler. If I would have been told to lose 30 pounds, last year, it would have seemed like an impossible feat. I probably would have gained weight because of the stress of it all. I just didn’t have the information or know what worked for my body. I certainly didn’t know about how just eating more lean protein made you feel full and helped with muscle development. Without this site and the people who have generously shared their knowledge and stories, I am pretty sure I would have still been spinning my wheels at the gym. I would have been a healthier me. And I am sure there would have been some progress, but the overall changes probably wouldn’t have been the same. I’ve learned to be patient and just know that changes are going to come as long as I am doing the work.

When I got home this morning, I was telling my husband that I really loved working out (most of the time). He asked me what was so different this time. Afterall, I always had a gym membership somewhere, yet never had the fervor and passion that I have now. And I had to think about it. Aside from wanting to look better and feel better, I realize that I desperately need space. You know the "Me Time". After becoming a mom, everything that I was, did, said, wanted, or needed was influenced by my Little One. This is not a complaint, by any means. I mean, this is what I thought being a mom was. I was 29 when I had her and felt ready to ’sacrifice’ my wants and needs to be a mom. But as I looked at my body become older and my confidence go out the window I didn’t like what I saw. And I certainly didn’t want my daughter to this that was going to be the norm. I had to do something different. I feel like I am better in other parts of my life, because I have the energy to be better. Energy, to me, translates in desire–fire! I had lost my fire. My mom laughs at my new ’sassiness’.

I couldn’t stop eating today–I was just so hungry! I am drinking a shake now b/c I a starving! I just had dinner–and believe me I eat!

I [heart] leg days. This morning was one of those mornings where I had to kick my own butt out of bed. But I said to myself–as soon as I get to the car, I am going to be loving it. And, sure enough, once in my car (that REEKS from spilling protein shakes again and again) I got that pumped up feeling. My daughter hates getting in my car. She says, "Mommy, I don’t want to get in! It smells so bad!" It does. The seats and floor and so crusty. There are assorted stains–yellow from the banana nut bread protein shake, dark yellow from shakes that contained fresh bananas, brown from the chocolate shakes, and lighter brown from what I am assuming are shakes with peanut butter. It boggles the senses.

I did legs today and finished with 10 minutes of running. Billy was there, training his other client. I think I work just a smidge harder when he is there–it is almost like getting another training session! And I think I am secretly competing against her. Even though she has been working out with him longer, I find myself looking over to see if she has changed much. Are her arms poppin’? I am competitive with very few things, so I was surprised to find myself making comparisons. I was recently asked why I was eating chicken and broccoli at breakfast time. It’s funny how my perception of eating and what to eat at specific times has changed. I am on what could be considered my third meal. I had an apple before my workout (4:45 a.m.), a protein shake on the way to work (7:15 a.m.),  and at around 10:15 a.m. I am eating chicken and broccoli. And I will have the same at around 1:00 p.m. Then, a shake or some salmon (depending on what I have time to prepare) at around 4:00 p.m. Then there is dinner and my pre-bed shake, if I am still hungry. I also keep protein bars in my purse in the event that I need an extra meal. they are close to 300 calories, so I can eat 1/3 or 1/2 with some fruit and feel great. It also helps them last longer two and well worth the money spent. I have been working with three boxes for months, now. This is just the way that I eat, now. If I don’t I feel like I will fall flat on my face–I get really light headed. As I was sitting and eating, I was thinking about when I would have rather been eating something else. In other words–I’m sucking down this brown rice, but I would rather have a candy bar, or cake, or just something other than this. I can now say that I really do love the clean eating. I enjoy having something sweet now and then–ice cream is my weakness, the Thanksgiving sweet potato pie was delicious. I just like the way eating well 90%+ of the time makes me feel. I feel energetic and alert. My stomache doesn’t act up. The only downside is the frequent trips to the bathroom. Eating well does clean out the pipes….well.Don’t know how I ever went 4-6 hours and ‘forgot’ to eat. Man, the bloating is coming down and I looked a little leaner in the mirror. I cannot wait until this summer! I am going to have guns blazin’! Look out now!

This morning I began thinking about the Resolution Rush that is about to go down in a few months. Every January, the gym becomes a madhouse at the time that is usually the quietest. Everyone is trying to fulfill that promise to themselves to get healthier and/or lose weight. While the two go hand in hand many just focus on the ‘losing weight’ part and forget about the ‘healthy’ part–the part where you have to eat well and often. The part that requires the change is behavior that makes this whole thing sustainable. It seems tedious to eat so often; and I have to admit–it is. The shopping, the preparation, the chopping, the containers, carrying it around, the schedule, etc. But it is worth it. It takes a while to become a part of your lifestyle–but once it is–you can’t imagine doing it any other way.

I think I am going to do back, biceps, and abs tomorrow. My elbow has been a bit stiff, so I really need to go back to taking the glucosamine. I’ve been taking my liquid multivitamin/flax seed oil shots in the mornings. That stuff is so gross. Some people put in there shakes, but I don’t like to do that. It’s so gross, why would I want to taste that over and over again. One time, to the head is enough for me.

Hmm, I think I need to get back on that recumbant bike. I haven’t done that in a while–and I can sit on my butt and watch TV! I used to do that bike often back when I was really getting started. My legs changed alot. Maybe I’ll add a second long cardio day (30-40 minutes) on the bike. We’ll see.  Maybe it’ll help my butt.
November 27

REST DAY
Even though I was on vacation this past weekend, I worked myself really hard. So, today’s rest day was well-deserved and needed. Tomorrow, it is back in the gym–yeah! I think I am going to do legs and some abs. I am going to make every effort to get my legs at least twice per week. I was bloated and holding about 4 pounds of water, I am now down to around 2 pounds. I am happy that a few of my co-workers have made some fitness commitments–and I was the inspiration for that. That’s pretty powerful. It makes me wish that I was around my family more often. Maybe someone would begin to take their health more seriously.

"You look really good". That’s what Billy told me this morning. I felt really good, too. He took it ‘easy’ on me this morning. It was an ab day with some shoulders. My period is coming (and I swear it’s been coming for two weeks, now) and I am holding more water than I have previously–around 4 lbs.), but there are still some noticeable improvements, especially in my arms. He asked me how everything was going and I told him: I don’t have any pants (because they are all too big) and my husband thinks all of my flexing is hilarious. I told him about my Thanksgiving plans and how I stuck to them and our workouts (with the exception of being under the weather for a few days). Then he said, "See, that’s why I don’t mind coming over here on Monday’s (he works at another gym in another nearby city). I give you the tools and you do the work. You don’t half-ass it". That acknowledgment made me feel really proud. Of all of the things that are going on in my life (in most people’s life) working out keeps me sane. The physical changes are great. But when I am working out I am in my own space–in my head. Sometimes, I can be on the elliptical and work out problems or reflect on something that I am doing (and would like to do better). Most times, I am there to feel the pain and to see how far I can push myself. I also respect the man and his time. If I fart around all week or decided to skip a bunch of workouts–he is going to know. And there would be no way that I could do the things that he asks me to do. Plus, I would be the one sucking rocks. I mean, he still gets paid, right? I’ve never understood how people could have a trainer and not milk the hell out of them. By that I mean, Billy has a ton of experience and knowledge that he is willing to give me (at a fee, of course). I  am going to do what he says and then some. The reward is that I get closer to my goals FASTER.

Meeting with Billy on Mondays has added a new dimension to my week. I love beginning the week off with a challenge–I [heart] Mondays! I never know what is going to happen, I just know that it is going to be a test of my will and physical abilities. I’ve never been an athlete, so I suppose that is another reason why I am taking this so seriously. And I also think bodybuilding appeals to the the loner that I have always been. It really is a wonder than I got married–I love my solitude so much.

This morning I hit the gym for 40 minutes of cardio on the elliptical trainer and around 30 minutes of abs. Since on vacation I have had two days where I did two workouts in a day. Yesterday, I just got the urge to run in the evening. Maybe it was the bowful of While Cheddar Cheese-Its or that I had been inside for most of the day cleaning–I don’t know. But I had a surge of energy that had me in my running shoes and out of the door when my husband came home from work. I was straight up running. I made it about 2/3 of the way around the lake (about 2 miles) when I crashed. I had to stop and tie my shoe, then I just couldn’t recover after that. I just walked the last mile, watched the day become dusk, then night (beautiful, but I really needed to get my butt home at that point. I am not one of those running in the dark alone women, but there I was in the dark, walking alone), and enjoying the brisk night air. I was just really appreciative of my health at that point and so happy that I have finally gotten to the point whenre this is a part of my life. I can say that I am a fitness enthusiast.

My daughter, who will be 4 in January, has discovered and is thoroughly engrossed with New Edition. One of her favorite songs, right now, is Cool It Now. My husband and I Youtubed a bunch of old videos and they are hilarious. I don’t remember them being that funny. Maybe because at the time I was a youngster and living the lyrics. LOL. I love the way that Ralph Trevant acts out every single word.

I love going to my in-laws. I am really blessed to have a wonderful husband and the bomb in-laws. There was so much food and desserts. There were over 11 cakes and pies. And I have to say that I came out the other end relatively unscathed. I didn’t get to walk between courses, but I did get a morning workout in. I ate every few hours and snacked on fruit while we were waiting for people to arrive. I ate turkey, greens, and of course had my one piece of hot water cornbread (I got the recipe!). I had a spoonful of wild rice. I just had to taste it, especially after my mother-in-law said–Throw a stick of butter in there.  I ate two pieces of sweet potato pie (complex carbs, right!) to make if really feel like Thanksgiving, and drank a ton of water throughout. I felt a little bloated from the water not the food. This kept me feeling relatively full and that allowed me to keep my wits about me, so that I could make good decisions. Believe me, there was a part of me that just wanted to ravish that dessert table. And I was able to say NO when my father-in-law had left over peach cobblers that he wanted people to take. This morning, I went to the gym and I didn’t feel bloated. It was a medicore workout, though, my rests were just too long. I think I just liked the time to myself.

For breakfast I had two eggs (with yolks, today) and some leftover turkey. I only brought home turkey and my mother-in-laws wild rice (my daughter LOVES it, she is eating is for breakfast right now!). I feel very satisfied and I don’t feel like there is anything I have to ‘undo’, no regrets. That was the whole point of the plotting at planning. I wanted to feel like I enjoyed myself, but I also wanted to keeping progressing when the day was over. I love feeling healthy and strong; and that feeling made going ‘light’ at dinner a little easier.

 I don’t have to go to work until Monday, so I am going to sleep (when I can) and do alot of spring cleaning. I had alot of clothes in my closet that were 12’s–and stuff I just didn’t wear– and all of it is going! I am going to try to get a load of laundry done, too. Tomorrow, will be a cardio/ab day. I’ll probably do a long session, around 45 minutes with strict focus!

I tried to send individual messages, but there has got to be a more efficient way to do it! I hope every has a wonderful day tomorrow and enjoys the company (or solitude if that is your pleasure) and festivities.

My husband is now sick and woke me up at around 3 a.m. with his coughing and getting up. It took me an hour to get back to sleep. I’ll just be going to the gym tonight–and I can’t wait! I may do chest and triceps or biceps and bi/triceps tonight and (sticking with the plan) do legs on Thanksgiving. It really doesn’t matter. I’m just salivating at the possibilities. I’ll be doing my leg workout first thing in the  morning before the gym shuts down and before the crowds start to roll in. If it is too busy Plan B is just to run, run, run! My appetite is coming back. This morning’s weigh in was 154, but I know it is because (1) my metabolism has kicked in in the last few weeks and (2) my lack of appetite when I was sick–didn’t take in alot of calories at all. I imagine that I will be back to 157-158 in a few days. I could also be somewhat dehydrated, as well.
November 20

I have rested for the past two days and feel like I will be ready to hit the gym tomorrow morning. This morning, my eyes popped open at 4:30 a.m., I looked at my gym clothes laying next to the bed, I knew my gym bag was ready by the door next to the bag of green apples that I have been taking on the way out. Every inch of me wanted to get up and get in the gym. But I am listening to my body and the advise of some bb.com friends and I am going to lay low. It’s like an itch that I can’t scratch. I just wanted to be at the gym and lift. I love when motivation is high, this is when the workouts are the best!

I think I have done enough ‘mind work’ to make it through Thanksgiving. I completely failed at Halloween. Not only did I feel horrible, but I had to look at my bloated body for a few days afterwards. Now, I know no permanent damage was done, but it is always nice to workout and see the evidence of your hard work, versus looking at you stomache pooch out over your shorts.

I have been visualizing how I am going to feel at the end of the day–after the feasts, the family, and the food. I imagine that I am going to feel satisfied and strong because I will have: eaten two small meals during family time, had two workouts, tasted dessert, and had a ton of water. Here is how it is going down. I am going to workout in the morning–it will probably be a leg day just to really make it count. Between my two courses, I am going to walk for about 40 minutes around the neighborhood. And if people want to come with me, that would be great! Maybe it would start a new tradition! Then back to the house for more water and a snack, my mother-in-law is always good for having fresh fruits and veggies around the house when family is over. Then the only thing that I will take home will be protein–meat, meat, meat. No dessert. No rolls. That’s a plan, and I don’t plan to fail.

And I got my first, "You are wasting away" comment. It wasn’t malicious, but I knew it was coming. And it didn’t help that my jeans were slipping off of my butt, either (the size 8’s!). So, I had to whip out the guns to show that no, I am not starving and yes, I am well on my way to reaching some physical goals. I think that it is so common to hear people talk about what they are going to do and you sort of dismiss it because we’ve heard before, you want to lose weight-yadda, yadda, yadda. But then, to see someone take it so seriously can, I think, be uncomfortable. I have been a part of so many conversations where someone has lost a ton of weight because of an illness, or surgery, or a fad diet only to regain the weight. And unfortunately, that is the first thing we think when someone drops a significant amount of weight-something must be wrong. Is she starving herself? Is she drinking cabbage soup? Does she want this so badly that she is willing to jeopardize her health? This was also a person that doesn’t see what I do daily. So, every time they see me I will look ALOT smaller and the weight loss will seem more dramatic than it actually is. One the other hand, I had a co-worker today, compliment me on my discipline and how much energy I had. Conversely, this person sees the way that I try to eat every few hours, knows that I workout most days of the week, and that I have made a life change. That made my day.

(Day 4/114)

My body is doing such crazy things, right now. I felt a little under the weather on Friday, but woke up on Saturday feeling fantastic and having one of the best lower body workouts. Last night, and especially this morning I feel like crap. the full=body achiness has returned, and my headache is intensified when I get up, so I’ve been laying down alot. Weird. My appetite is non-existent, but I still try to eat something every few hours. I had oatmeal this morning (a little comfort food) and will probably drink a shake within the next 20 minutes, or so. When my husband gets home from the grocery store, I am going to take a hot shower and shave my furry legs, that always makes me feel better. I am going to call Billy this afternoon and cancel tomorrow’s session. No use wasting the man’s time, right?

My computer froze and I lost my last entry, so I am going to try and recreate what I blogged. Last night, I had the worst chills and slept in a hooded sweatshirt. At around 3 a.m. I woke up and was extremely sweat, I mean soaked. And my daughter woke up screaming at around the ame time saying-get me out of here! Get me out of here! I put on a tanktop and went to go lay with her until she could get her bearings, realize where she was, and go back to sleep. After about 10 minutes of tossing and turning she finally slept and I went back to my bed.

Surprisingly, I woke up feeling great! Maybe I just needed to ’sweat out’ whatever bug I had. Or maybe it was my body needing to recover-who knows.  I parked my car pretty far from the gym to avoid paying the meter and I could use the walk as part of my workout. One the way to the gym I discovered that my mp3 player had a dead battery and I didn’t have any extras in my bag–just a AA that wasn’t going to work. My intial reaction was that my workout was going to suck. Then I said, no-I am going to focus, count my reps, contract my muscles, and listen to whatever sucky music the gym was playing. I didn’t want that to be a wasted opportunity. All I know is I had a strong leg workout. It looked something like this:

Warm-up: plymetric warm-up (jump up/down with squats) and (jump ups with front raise, 10# plate)-3×20

-seated squats with ab twist (3×20)/crunch with 10# plate feet up/off bench

-leg press (90#/140#,140#)/(20,15,20)+calf raises/deadlifts to shoulder press+calf raise (12#)

-hack squats (#50, 40#, 20#)-these really tire me out!

-leg extentions (135#, 120#, 105#, 60#)

I did 3 sets of everything and reps were between 15-20. At the end, I began to wonder if I should go without music on leg days. Without the music, I found myself constantly checking my posture, making sure that the body part that I was working on was actually being worked. I heard my breathing, which was weird. And I paid attention to the clock and kept rests to a minimum. This was my second leg day this week.