Mahogany1’s BodyBlog

I am not feeling to good about my food choices this week so imma come clean. Living up to 2008 version of me is just not happening anymore for my own failures. I have failed to control my binge eating. I have failed to keep up with my workouts. I have failed myself. I really hate this. Being healthy is very important to me . I don’t want to be competition fit for a while ( heck I can’t even get to regular fit at this point). Im tired of the inner voices telling me i"ts OK to eat the cookie today…you can just start over tommorrow". Being 4′11 and 126 sucks big time to me. I am my own worst enemy. I feel like Im living in someone elses body. I want to be 18% body fat DANG IT and 110 pounds!!! IS this too much to ask of myself??? Ah well today hopefully today will be better than yesterday……If not I only have myself to blame:(

Mahogany

So because I can binge eat anybody out of house and home I am trying to do this one day at a time thing. So far so good. I am queen of eating clean Monday- Thursday just to eat my weight right back to 126 by the time Sunday rolls around. I am using an ole school remedy of drinking a full glass of water to help me fight the over eating demons;) So today I ate 1/4 of a orange chicken dinner, one alomond cookie, and one fortune cookie…the rest of my meals today were clean:) YAY me.

Stay tuned for how tommorrow turns out. Operation love myself is in full effect for today:)

Mahogany

We’ll lately i’ve been really out of wack ( as in diet, appearance, goals). Nothing has been seeming to go right. I don’t like how I have let myself go ….more importantly I hate the fact that nothing is about me anymore. I have wound myself so tight in being "US" that now I feel like Im the weakest link. I just want to be stronger mentally and physically. I did the physical part before….but even then the Eurphoric high of getting all the way down to 89lbs and 8% bodyfat…. didn’t heal me and made me feel more crushed with the realization that me staying that small could not be healthly.

So BB.com Im back.( all 126 pounds of me) No promises. Just taking it a day at a time. I need my spark again. The competition is the self image of myself. I feel ugly and fat. My goal is to be beatufiul to me…so that others can see me as such.

Thats all that is on my mind now peeps,

I have missed you all greatly

Mahogany