Madfuns’ Bodybuilding Adventure!

Welp Its been almost a week since my last workout. Yes I am distracted… the job is killing me with 14-16 hour days….. My wife decided she no longer wants to work, killing half our income… yada yada…whine…. whine….. I have been doing this long enough to know there are no excuses. In fact, rather than whine about it… I am going to do something about it.

First, I am going to kill my wife…. (Just kidding) lols Even if I cant get to the gym, I have a set of emergency hexagons here at home and there’s always time for crunches. For some reason with me, when I start missing workouts, my diet goes right out the window. THERE IS NO excuse for that! I am grounding myself for that POP TART fetish I had yesterday…

I already know I’ll not make it to the gym tonight. I just hope I don’t have to layover in New York… that always sux on a Friday night. So long as I can get home, I will at least hit the hexagons tonight and be up early on Saturday to hit the gym. In fact, as soon as I close this window, I am going to do crunches till I pass gas! It’s amazing really how a few missed workouts can eff up my whole outlook on life. I wanna kill something dammit!!

Dispatch the Haz-Mat authority… those Pop Tarts are brutal!

I thought I was in some kinda good shape. Now after walking the Swap meet from 7AM till 2PM, I have my doubts. My ass, and ham hocks are effing sore! When I walk, it looks like "Bubba" had his way with me.

On the bright side I got lots of cool stuff! Although I spent alot of cash, I had a great time. Maybe spending extra on a hobby is just what the doctor ordered.

As much fun as I have been having, I let myself miss a few workouts. This is something I will remedy today. Missing workouts can all too easily become a habit with me. Once I get distracted … or something shiny takes my mind, it’s all over for me, and I am back to beer gut syndrome. lol

I love it! Every Spring, Raceway Park (local dragstrip) sponsors an antique, and high performance auto swap meet! Everything you could possibly want, or need in the world of hot rodding and auto restoration is there and it takes me most of the day to walk the whole thing.

It starts this Friday, and lasts all weekend.. maybe I’ll find my door panels and or a headliner for me hotrod. There is always something there I can use… the only problem is getting it to my truck in the parking lot. Oh welp I’ll have to flex my huge muscles and act like a gorrilla to carry it all back! lol

I was virtually the only guy in the gym tonight and I owned the weight. I think it may have feared me a bit (or not) Of course I was in there a few hours earlier than usual and just maybe had a bit more energy.

Oh man…I frikken love the warm weather "bring it on baby!"

Ah yes the birds are chirping… the weather is getting warmer, the seat covers in the left lane have finally started to show some leg, and I am working on my "Teamster Tan" 

It’s true, Spring has finally arrived in the tri state area. So why am I so depressed? Who da frakk knows! Maybe I am going through the changes, Maybe all I have to look forward to are hot flashes and saggy boobs. Whats my malfunction? I mean life is good! I am 41 and still wake up with wood! I should be frikken happy as hell all the time! Right? RIGHT!

I think I am just an idiot. It all works out in the gym. Something bums me out, that’s usually where I get my head right. Tonight is my arm workout so thats a good reason to live… and something to look forward to. 

Now I just gotta figure out what to do with my fifty million Craftsman screwdrivers…

Today I wanted to try something different. I have seen a few veterans in the gym using an open handed grip while bench pressing so I tried it with some warm up weight and guess what? I almost broke my keyster.

First, my wrists started doing the mambo, then when they calmed down… my forearms started wiggin out like they were stuck in "spin cycle mode." When I finally got the bar stabilized, I felt like I had already finished ten sets.  I placed the bar back where it belongs and just had to laugh… Am I such an old dog that I cant learn a new trick?

Anyway screw it! I did my pyramid sets, came back down to just heavier than my warmup sets, then began something totally new for me.

I just frikken repped out! I did pause rest reps, partial reps, quick burst reps, I just passed gas reps, slow groove reps, and OMG I can’t believe it to failure reps.. About 20 sets in all. I must admit that I barely had the energy to do the rest of my chest routine, but got it in using some lower poundages.

The good news is I don’t think I ever exited the gym this "pumped"  I think I could catch a softball with this cleaveage, flex, and toss it back!

Will I be able to move tommarow? 

Who cares! time to go get some protien!

As an adult I tell myself I am above some things and as I mature, I like to believe this is true however.

There are some things I don’t think I will never grow out of. I have a neighbor or two who have a backyard barbecue every year.. and I simply try to outdo them. It may be wrong, but invitations to our event in August have gone out last week and we are hoping to see hundreds of people and no parking for blocks. This semi annual event is called "Pukefest" and lives up to its name! I don’t feel I have outdone anyone unless the cops have been there at least three times. Also a good indication of domestic victory is the fact that my neighbors wont talk to me for a few weeks after the party. lols (most are invited anyway)

Another competition I have with a neighbor is a hot rod guy around the corner from me. He has an old Pontiac and once in a while he fires it up and comes around the block doing some dry hops in front of my garage.. Of course I cant leave that challenge unanswered…With the way we inspire one another I really should go and introduce myself, after all It’s been about 5 years now. 

Then of course there is all the guys at work who happen to train at a gym. Every year as the weather gets warmer, and jackets are exchanged for T-shirts and shorts, You can tell who has, or hasn’t been kicking ass at the gym!

I can, and will get old… growing up however, is optional! Right or wrong, a little friendly competition at least makes ya feel alive!

Put my hot rod back together this weekend. It’s running like  a "freak on a leash" without the leash.

All that thrashing in the garage left me a bit tired so I kind of breezed through my workouts this weekend. Then I saw the motion picture 300..

My inspiration was renewed. Usually I lift like a madman over the weekend, and take Monday off at the gym but not today. I kicked ass in the gym today! 

Dammit This is Sparta!

The movie 300 is pure testosterone from start to finish. Want a plot? Forget it! It’s defiance to the end, Standing for what you believe in until you are finally taken down, fighting till the last breath. This is no chick flick, I left the theatre wanting to break shit at random and I am 41 years old. lols

Everyone who has ever struggled to push themselves a bit further in the gym, should go see this testosterone laden, gore fest!

When it’s time to chill it’s time to chill…

After a good workout, and warm down, I gotta relax. Sometimes I just draw a hot bath, clear my mind, and watch my rubber ducky float for a while. (at least till someone starts bangin on the door for the bathroom)

Sometimes I’ll just sip my protien shake and pop in a dvd. I’ve watched the movie "Cars" now about 6 times. Something about that kids’ movie just helps me chill out. And for the first time ever in my life, I feel strangely attracted to porsches.

"Is that a tattoo?"    "Oh!….  You saw that?"

The real world can wait! I think it’s healthy to relax, and take some "Me" time. In my case, it’s healthy for all the people around me. It keeps me from going on statewide killing sprees.  "Git er done"  

Starting to get some pretty wild pumps! All the while making my little gains here, and there. It feels effing awesome when I get in an extra couple of reps on any given weight and realize "hey a few months ago I could barely move this!"

Just about all the "newbie comeback" gains have been collected now, and it’s time to step it up to the next level.

That means pushing a bit harder for those last few reps and taking less time between sets. Also adding a few sets here and there just to piss off some muscle. I will be visiting Kromms chamber and that foolish "God of War" better be prepared!  lols

I will be starting to use Creatine in April and tweaking my diet so I can lean out for May, June, and July.. Wait till they get a load of me at our annual Backyard bash! (pukefest) P.U.B.A.R.

My general practice after I get home from the gym, is to blend a protien shake, hit the shower, and just Veg…

Last night, I mix up my shake using my usual scoop figuring it would finish off the container, but there was just a little bit left in there… maybe a half scoop worth.

No big deal… I’ll just have a little extra powder in there and the jug will be empty. I empty the jug into the blender and think nothing of it. I have my shake albeit a bit rich in protien powder, and jump into the shower.

About an hour later I feel this little pain in my gut and then I remember why I only use one scoop of powder.

Indigestion of the worst, and most flatulent kind.

I was able to entertain myself by pulling my own finger most of the night.. My wife has disowned me.. my dogs seem truly impressed… and I used the last of the "Glade" air freshener just so we could breathe. 

I still can’t believe all that came from me. Hopefully tonight I will be able to sleep! Needless to say I mixed my shake a bit on the lean side tonight.