MILF HUNTRESS

I never do anything that I regret.  If your mind isn’t made up about something, then you shouldn’t do it.  I have obviously decided that I am not interested in another immediate photo shoot.  Too much pressure this being sexy business.  Being sexy is play acting.  I do it for fun.  I do it when I want to.  If I want to.  Also, I haven’t been returning any emails as far as the whole dominatrixing thing goes.  Again, too much pressure.  I may be dominating your ass, but I am still putting myself out there as a male fantasy.  It feels entirely good just being me for me.  I can do this.  I can feed well.  I can train well.  I can live well.  I can focus on the higher ground.  I can also fill your ass with PVC.  But only if and when it pleases me.

I am forced to eat crow all the time because personally I don’t like people much.  I generally would prefer a set of cliffs to a group of people.  Can’t remember if I was like this before working with the public or after.  An empty gym to me is like a landscape.  It has shape, form, density.  The only sound being the clang of weights, my own heavy breathing.  When I work out alone I become God in my garden.  Sometimes I think God should have kept things to one.  Instead of a Universe he could have just created mirrors.  Worked on his physique for all eternity.  But I suppose he would need an audience to display his majesty.  Yes, this may be the one bone I have to pick with God.  Couldn’t you see that you were good enough alone?

Six sugar free chocolate chip cookies does NOT make me a stout fat piggie.  If I went back for the last plate of three cookies it would.  Yes my dears, it’s that time of year again.  We’re having the ever bi-annual, Rosetta Library Bake & Book Sale!  Come fill a big fat bag full of books for $2., or a little flat tummy full of goodies for only 50 cents to $1. per plate.  We’re trying to build a new library here in town!  We’ve got green mold and things dying in the walls.  If the air doesn’t kill you, feral cats falling through the ceiling just might.  Please don’t ask about the ghost.

I do this because it gives my life purpose and meaning.  “Maybe you will make some money doing this”, my mom said.  “Why don’t you make some money doing this?” my husband often says.  To me fitness is not about money.  It is about life.  It is about waking up each day knowing I have something to accomplish.  It is about feeling strong and good inside my own body.  Day one of shooting with Moss I went back to my hotel to find an email from Dan Ray.  I was thrilled, exultated.  At the same time the thought “Oh sh-t.”  Ready for the pressure to be off.  Ready for a few days of I don’t give a f-ck.  So that is what I am doing now.  I am spending three days of eat whatever I want, whenever I want.  I pretty much do this anyway, but there is always a thin thread of guilt attached.  Deep in my heart this is nothing about beauty to me.  It isn’t even about sexuality.  It is about strength.  It is about doing what I want.  Sexuality I will use and exploit as long as it is pleasurable to me.  Money?  I will make money using my words.

Received this comment today.  

I’ve been addicted to your blog for a while now. Figured I might as well register. Your writing validates my testosterone feelings, as something not shameful but something to be embraced.

I get as much positive feedback from men as women and it does mean alot to me.  The place and purpose of sexuality in my blogs is both for fun and honesty.  We are all sexual creatures.  Society likes to give us alot of flack about it, at the very same time they spoonfeed us SEX through the media.  Truth is, however you feel, there is a very valid reason for it, so explore it, and/or go with it.  As long as things are consensual,.. anything goes.

Had my second trampling session today!  I am still in training so not making even close to what I eventually will…….but it’s a start.  I have more money in my pocket than before I left.  I get to go down into the city, live on the other side for a moment or two.  Then I return to country paradise……..or rather, Hillbilly Bob’s Hoedown at EatingPeachez Acres.

My mentor is also an aerial artist.  You can check out her troop at http://www.thievesofflight.com/.  She is offering lessons beginning in October which will take place immediately after our sessions.  I can’t wait to start and learn some grace along with this muscle.

Other than that, I ate 800 calories in low sugar ice cream today and have been on the sh-tter for the better part of the day.   No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

NOTHING says margarita like working an 8 hour day.  Still I am abstaining.  Eating my overly seasoned, half crispy chicken breast while the family chows Chinese.  Why?  Because I’ve got goals!  I’ve got plans!  I, my dears, am about to get naked for Brian Moss’ camera.  Got asked out by an 18 year old today!  (Hold the applause.)  Certainly he heard about the ol Milf Huntress at Rosetta Library and thought he’d give it a whirl.  Real cute in that sweat and oil kind of way.  A little bashful.  The only thing is, I could never go out with an 18 year old.  Stay in with one? Yes.  Today was a mandatory off day.  Mandatory like Metallica.  God that Margarita still sounds good.  Eight hour work days take more out of me than 20 sets of deadlifts.

You know I leave for NYC in less than 4 weeks and I had a quart of (low sugar) ice-cream over the weekend?!?  IT IS SLAP MYSELF AWAKE TIME!  This is important to me and I PLAN TO SUCCEED.  Sure I would like a whole lot of things before my shoot that likely will not happen.  Many things that involve moolah.  I cannot control certain things.  I CAN CONTROL what I eat, and what I put into my workouts DAILY.  Threw back on the weighted vest last night.  This will be for my nightly PM cardio, which is now NON-NEGOTIABLE.  Working around tennis schedules (for middle daughter), my work schedule, and my youngest’s school schedule………I refuse to leave her home alone……NONE OF THIS IS EASY.  My husband works VERY LONG HOURS (God bless his soul…..we think/hope this will be changing soon).  We are all just kind of hanging in there holding our breath…..doing our own thing…..and trying not to lose one another in the process.  Well, all of us except my oldest of course.  She is attending frat parties and from what I hear taken up Salsa?  I love her……..and from the time they are babies, this is what we want for them.  We want them to live the GOOD LIFE.  Problem is, most of us stop living the good life………in order to provide it for them.  Keep loving your kids, but love YOURSELF too.  I promise you can find balance if you try. What works for me is trusting in a BENEVOLENT UNIVERSE.  I believe that I am worthy of GREAT THINGS, GOOD TIMES, WONDERFUL FRIENDSHIPS & FABULOUS EXPERIENCES.  You have to trust that the man (or lady) upstairs, or in your heart……….is really there for you.  That they really care.  Then do what you have to do.  Me? Right now I have to diet and wear 40 lb vests.  Different paths, same destination.

So things were slow at my day job, and I went on Craigslist and found a submissive.  I didn’t do too badly either.  Found a man advertising for an “alpha female”.  I’m a shy little lassie, but definitely have some “alpha” about me.  So this guy has a foot fetish.  Wants to be owned heart, mind, body, and soul………………………………….
……………did I mention bank account?  lol  The first night and he has already offered me shoe shopping and weekly pedicures.  He said eventually, if it all works out, he would like to sign two of his six bank accounts over to me.  He has already called to ask me permission to take his niece and nephew out to dinner.  EXCUSE ME???!!!!  WHYTF didn’t I get into this dominatrixing sh-t A DECADE AGO? 

He knew he needed his cock stomped.  This is what I appreciated about my first customer, and this is what I know I will appreciate about all my clients in the future.  Men who come to a dominatrix KNOW they are not worthy, KNOW that to look upon me is a privilege, KNOW that to touch me is an honor (they will never receive), KNOW that my discipline is their just rewards.  Men come into the library and expect me to talk to them for 30 minutes because I am a public servant.  This has nothing to do with my job description.  Do you need a book?  I will find it.  Care to place a reserve?  I will happily do this for you.  Need to go potty?  I will direct your way to the bathroom.   Make a copy, send a fax….all of these I am paid to do for you.   I perform these duties gladly and with a smile.  Be your best friend and pay you individualized attention?  This will cost you I’m afraid, more than the library can afford to pay me.  Inferior men who know they need to pay……earn my respect.  All other inferior men are just that.  Inferior.

Oh wow!  So I am now officially a dominatrix I suppose.  Though I don’t think one gig will do it.    But how FUN!  This lasted approximately twenty minutes….and I think I will save details for shemuscle.  But I am now a thigh high leather boot wearing, stomper, squasher, smasher, cigarette putter-outer…………..lol.  Like I said.  FUN.