MILF HUNTRESS

So I am going with a 1930’s feel for my shoot.  Been looking on the net tonight for 30s’ish lingerie, etc.  I don’t know….retro is just so hot to me.  Retro with muscle could be a very interesting combo.  Also considering a chain mail bikini…but unsure of that.  I’ve always enjoyed the “Heavy Metal Magazine” women.  I did find my old original kodak easy share 210 camera tonight.  I put a battery in it and miraculously… it worked! I only have to redownload the software as we lost everything in our system restore.  I will have some new pictures up by Saturday.  My dominatrixing gig has been rescheduled for Saturday as well.  Another girl I went to high school with will be training with me.  She is a (beautiful) stripper but looking for something she can express more creativity with.  Mr Moss would like me to blog for his site.  To say all the things there that I cannot say on bbcom and to express the dominant female mindset.  This is hunky dory with me.  Bb.com will be my “this is who I am” journal, shemuscle will be my muscle girl/dominant female outlet.  I can’t wait to begin.  With my new vocation I will have lots of stories to share.

Very excited.  I spoke with Brian Moss today and we have a date set.  The hotel room is reserved and now it is only a matter of him booking the flight.  Been having some heart to hearts with my husband in which we discuss the direction my future is heading.  He is not sure he can hang, and my heart sincerely hopes he can.  It is good to be loved, known, and accepted, all of you.  This is what we all secretly or not so secretly yearn for.  This is what I have found in him.  Though I do believe it is both of our persistent willingnesses to let go, that has actually kept us together.  He has been with me through teenage rebellion, young Christian motherhood, the dark plains of obesity and depression, and the restrengthening of bodybuilding.  I want him to be with me for my sex years. And then of course, yeah, menopause.  LOL  THAT is when the c-ck s-cker will leave me.

Had a very interesting hour+ conversation with Brian Moss tonight.  Yes we hit many topics dear to my heart.  My conversion from fat to fit, how sexuality/sensuality/ and the repression of my 20’s played into all of that.  How he perceives the bodybuilding woman, how I do.  Yes, yes, very interesting indeed.  So now we are talking about a trip to New York and what I know will be a very interesting photo shoot.  Much food for thought.  I drew a tarot out of my Women’s Wisdom deck for my role with Mr Moss.  The card was Partnership:Risk vs. Safety.  The picture portrays a woman running/leaping.  Her bosom is exposed and a man is jumping out from behind the bushes pulling on the loose garment/blanket wrapped loosely around her hips and genitals.  The picture leaves it to the viewers discretion whether this is a playful gesture.  It also leaves it to the viewers discretion whether the woman is leaping or falling.  The man himself is thinly veiled as his garment-robe is falling off him as well.  Next I pulled a card from the same deck for me and myself alone.  This card reads Self-Expression: Perfection vs. Imperfection.  Pictured is a woman, young Aphrodite with Cupid draped around her one slightly bent leg.  Aphrodite is nude; either handing or receiving a golden apple from another young lad as a male and female onlooker watch on.  The picture leaves it to viewer discretion as to who is passing the apple.  I believe it is Aphrodite passing the apple to the young lad, as the boy looks rather in earnest.  Self-Expression: Perfection vs. Imperfection.  Is this not the perfect word picture for exposure of the flesh?  We reveal our imperfections in both body and mind,.. only to find that we are indeed perfect after all.  I did tell Mr Moss tonight that I draw the line at bananas.  We all must have our limits.

Just a quick word about what blogging and reading others blogs has done for me.  It has helped me to open up.  It has helped me to find self expression.  It has helped me to find my experiences to be, well, unique, but normal.  It has helped me to lose the fear that media has created, and to view people under the microscope of our similarities rather than our differences.  This has been a very positive experience for me.  Well, it’s 4 AM and I am up with insomnia and a large can of cashews.  A VERY large can, I might add.   Let’s see,…  21 ounces.  I had a big day in which I left home at 8:45 AM, not to return until 13 hours later.  It was work, cardio on lunch break, work, workout with weights, Walmart Run.  Nothing huge or out of the ordinary, but yes a long day.  Might have found someone to help me with my web site, which excites me.  This man is familiar with DreamWeaver, which is what I have intended to use all along.  Even more exciting is after 9 months of no supplementation, I now have a can of Walmart creatine and bottle of DHEA.  lol  Even more exciting than that (things just keep getting better world) is the fact that I am expecting a sweet package from Optimum Nutrition to try some of their best products and blog about them.  Bestest yet…….(the very bestest)…is how bulky I was looking in the mirrors tonight.  Yes it was bulky, but a very good bulky.  Female wrestler/power lifter bulky.  I like it that my arms and body are now larger than the healthy everyday young male I might come across.  I am beginning to cross gender lines.  Which perhaps should not, but most definitely does, excite me.  My body is beginning to become, EXACTLY what I envision it to be.  I believe I am at the beginning of a very pleasant iceberg.