MILF HUNTRESS

I wear sex on the outside which makes me benign and harmless.  It is these sorts of cancerous m-ther f-ckers (white washed sepulchurs, hypocrites, actors) you have to watch out for.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091112/ap_on_re_us/us_family_sex_crimes

I want to do very bad things to this man.

So I went out today and got a lousy short haircut.  Quite possibly contending for the top 3 bad haircuts of my lifetime.  I have never looked more dyke-like in my life!  Had to go out and buy a short dress afterward simply to alter the effect.  Thing is I am not a dyke.  I can’t even watch porn if there is a girl in it.  It is boy parts only for Miss Maddi.  Still a gay man trapped in a woman’s body, (or so my porn preference might reflect).  Told a male friend this and he said, “I don’t know whether that’s a turn on….or not!”  I love androgyny.

Had a nice delt workout tonight.  20 minutes elliptical as if that counts for anything.  My eating is criminal.  Not even trying right now.  Can’t bring myself to eat meat.  Sick as f-ck of tuna, tilapia, all that jazz.  So I’m eating alot of fruits, and fats in the form of cheese on top of beans, that sort of thing.  Talked to Howie at the gym tonight.  I generally don’t talk to anyone because it serves as a distraction.  But Howie usually makes me laugh my ass off, and Howie gets me.  I can talk sex a mile long without any threat at all that Howie is gonna whip his dick out.  So we talked a little porn and I told him about my discovery of transvestiteseduction.com.  I couldn’t believe these men with dicks that were prettier, softer, and otherwise more feminine than I am.  I would love to be a transvestite!  Can you imagine the fun of being that crazy, incredibly good looking chick, getting a guy back to your room, and whipping the ol dick out?  9 chances out of 10 at that point the guy is in too deep to pull himself out.  (No pun intended……ok, yeahhhhhhh.)  At least this is what Howie tells me.

If I masturbate for more than 30 minutes straight, does that count for cardio?

I have about 7 male friends that I speak with on a regular basis.  Interestingly enough, 4 of the 7 were seduced by older women when they were minors.   (A bit disproportionate don’t you think?)  When they talk of it, it is always with fond memories, a sense of reverence or even excitement.  Call me naive, but I never really knew that this sh-t went down except in movies.  For one it was the teacher, two of them it was best friend’s mom, and another it was the orthodontist assistant!  You know that first sexual experience marks a person for life (so they say), so I search my friends out for scarring.  “It was the best thing that ever happened to me.”  “Fun!”  “I had the time of my life.”  “I still think of her now.”  All these men are successful, great sense of humor, emotionally stable, in fulfilling relationships, friends with me.  Ah.  There’s the catch.  All these men forever seek out dirty women.

I remember it well in the third grade.  It was hanging there suspended in the air, a sign made of gold.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Wow!  That made phenomenal sense! ‘Do unto others……’   This means…. no stealing, no lying, no plagiarism, no bullying, no sex with minors, no sex with married men, and or pigeons. Wooo~ that’s a long list to remember.  So let’s back up to rule one.  ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’  I can do this on ballerina toes!  Ladies, the world will always (attempt to) force you to choose between classy lady/good person and streetwalker/whore.  (God bless the whore!)  There IS resolution between the two.  I find that place by walking the golden rule.

Seems to me there is someone who doesn’t like me much perpetrating on my blog.  Haters come and haters go but self referral lasts forever thus sayeth the Maddi.  Turn back to my “U2?” Blog (because every U2 song is about Miss Maddi).  With the exception of Sunday Bloody Sunday (unless I am menstruating on the sabbath).  Anonymous commenters are the scum and the filth of the earth.  Being born without balls, they tie on artificial ones made of paper and violets.  SLUT!  Am I a slut?  Yes I am a slut.  Born and raised.  Purebred slut through and through.  I have made slut a term of endearment.  A title, a badge, an honor, that I wear proudly.  Now let me define slut for all you scumbags. Sexually Liberated Until Tomorrow.  That means my sex is my sex.  Always about me, most definitely always for me.  I may be a whore today and I may be a madonna tomorrow.  My sex, my business, my self.   If I want to f-ck you, oh yes I’ll f-ck you real good.  Just be sure to be a god or at least built like one.  You’d also better be over the top handsome, exceptionally clean, very smart, (witty even), well groomed, great sense of humor, have a hell of alot of game, and oh yes, for me only won’t you please be shy?  This happens to be one mother f-cking slut with the highest self regard.

The Whore of Babylon.  God rest her soul.   Who is this great woman?  Riding the beast with seven heads drunk on the blood of the saints.  Eventually the beast she rides turns to destroy her. 

¹⁵Then the angel said to me, “The waters you saw, where the prostitute sits, are peoples, multitudes, nations and languages.16The beast and the ten horns you saw will hate the prostitute. They will bring her to ruin and leave her naked; they will eat her flesh and burn her with fire. 17For God has put it into their hearts to accomplish his purpose by agreeing to give the beast their power to rule, until God’s words are fulfilled. 18The woman you saw is the great city that rules over the kings of the earth.”

Oh how I love the whore.

Country boy and his friends take girlfriend (now wife) to “Old Chelsea” down in the city.  Girlfriend is from the boondocks and hasn’t seen much of the world.  Girlfriend is also about 17.  Porn is on the screen, there is a hushed quality about the audience.  All the men are seated behind them, silently bouncing hats in their laps.  First flick a blowjob scene. “Someone need to give that girl some lessons!” exclaims girlfriend.  Every head turns her direction at once.  Next a gang bang scene.  Busty blonde taking 10 men.  In true porn style fashion the star is moaning, “More dick!  Give me more dick!  I need more dick!”  Every time she moans, another man enters the picture. “More dick, more dick, gimme more, more, more..!” Country girl has grown increasingly frustrated.  Finally she yells out, “Bitch!  Just how much dick do you think you need?!?”  Boyfriend very carefully escorts girlfriend out of the building.