MILF HUNTRESS

Fitness photographers never want you to smile.  It’s always, “sexy mouth, sexy mouth….breathe through your mouth, open your mouth a little”.  It’s more than fairly obvious to me the reason for this being you can slip a cock inside.  Me?  I like to smile.  I’m happy when I smile.  I’m pretty when I’m happy.  Husband doesn’t have a problem with any of my pictures but the cucumber series.  In fact, he has threatened to call Moss and tell him not by any means to put them up.  But the cucumber selection is my favorite of all the pictures taken!  It was at the end of shooting, so I was well warmed up.  I also believe they best reflect the heart and spirit of who I really am.  A big thing in my hand and a smile on my face.

It’s been the one true key to my success.

We all have things that bind us.  Addictions, fears, family, pain, (shame), society.  If you look down however the chains are always in your own hands.  Do what you have to do.

I woke up this morning about ready to cancel the Dan Ray photo shoot.  I have been on a pretty steady (and happy) binge since NYC and put on about 10 lbs.  The thing is, I like my body thicker, fuller, more filled out.  So no worries on the home front.  But Dan is looking for someone who personifies fitness, and from his emails, I think he likes girls more right at precomp style.  I was reading an article by Bill Dobbins the night before, and he said something that I really agreed with.  It was about the subjectivity of the judges.  So basically his advice was, don’t worry about what the judges say they want.  When they see excellence, they will recognize it.  So I have been thinking things over, balancing my scales so to speak, and I really want this.  I mean, isn’t this what I have been kindof heading for all along?  Two of the most well respected photographers in the fitness industry came to me, liked what they saw, and requested to photograph me.  Instead of burying my face in the sand, I am to rise up to this challenge.  I am not doing this for them,….(this is a biggie for me),….I am doing it for me.  I will show-me what I’m made of.  Pretty sure it’s the good stuff.

 Promise I am not going to post every sh-muscle picture, but I am just so f-cking happy to be on that site!  Spent my daytime today being illustrious librarian, and my nighttime tonight being Amazon gym warrior.  I find resolution in opposites.  I am glad I am free to be whomever I please.  I have eaten whateverthefudgeilike for the past 3.75 days.  This means including pizza, (many, many) candybars, a couple lbs of almonds/cashews (raw),  sooo much peanut butter, all sorts of yummy energy bars (not keeping in mind protein for a change), as much fruit as I like, including 5 plums right before bed, …and YEP!…..2 whole bags of ORGANIC Cheetos.  I’m going to spend maybe 2 more days in healthy bulk mode (meaning no cheetos but yes oatmeal, yah nuts).  Taking just one week off of double cardio, then going to get my body ready for the big Dan Ray.  Here’s to making my 40th year the best year of my life (so far).  VENICE BEACH ANYONE?

I like it that I am now recognized as a bodybuilder in the at large community.  It seems wherever I go this now gets commented on.   Today it was a woman at the Thrift Store and a young sacker at HyVee.  Last week it was a biker at Patricia’s and about 3 different groups of kids at the library.  Even the gimp in the pictures I last posted commented quietly looking up at me, “Somebody found a gym.”  As I told the photographer about my fear of leaning down, “I want it to be obvious to everybody that I am Bodybuilder…not Aerobic Mom.”  At this point, that seems to be the case.