MILF HUNTRESS

This is the first day I have looked forward to training for maybe three weeks.  I am excited about going at a nice quiet time so I can get my deadlift on.   It has taken me 5 years to get past a certain level of inhibition at my gym. For years I wouldn’t perform various exercises.  This is the first year I haven’t tied a sweatjacket around my waist.  Yet still I am inhibited.  I know I’m a freak.  (PROUD FREAK.)  I just don’t like to be another person’s freakshow.  There is something very personal about training hard.

I like it that I am now recognized as a bodybuilder in the at large community.  It seems wherever I go this now gets commented on.   Today it was a woman at the Thrift Store and a young sacker at HyVee.  Last week it was a biker at Patricia’s and about 3 different groups of kids at the library.  Even the gimp in the pictures I last posted commented quietly looking up at me, “Somebody found a gym.”  As I told the photographer about my fear of leaning down, “I want it to be obvious to everybody that I am Bodybuilder…not Aerobic Mom.”  At this point, that seems to be the case.

I don’t train sexy.  I train like The Wild Woman From Borneo.  Often while I am training, I am in the mood to eat heads.  Chicken heads, bat heads, anything you put in front of me.  People within 12 feet of me often look tasty too.  Why is it only their heads I’d like to eat?

I am not so much into puppy dog love.  More into kitty-kat loving.  As in, me cat, you mouse.  I want to see you under me…..and unmoving.  I do have a distinct sadistic streak.  Only a few highly blessed souls are ever exposed to this side of me.  I think they are the fortunate ones.  If you wake up and I am above you, I may be sucking your breath.  This only means I care about you.

So now I have been contacted by none other than the maker, creator, of sh-muscle.com, Mr Brian Moss himself (brianmoss.com) about the possibility of doing a photo shoot.   Dan Ray of buffbunnies.com and Muscular Development on July 4.  These are two HUGE names in the fitness photo industry in less than 3 weeks.  I am going crazy!  I want to dance, sing, shout, pray, lift, make a g-d damn porn video.  Anything but diet.  Optimum Nutrition tonight!

So I am thinking right now as I continue to binge…..now it’s been 3 cups blackberries, 2 big bananas, and 2 veg sausage patties on top the the rest…….and I don’t think I care.  I can do anything…..ya……ANYTHING….when I truly believe in it, when my heart is really into it.  I gave birth natural twice in the age of epidurals.  (By the third I had stopped believing….hahaha)  SO it is time to ask inner Maddi wisdom ….WHAT IS IT THAT YOU REALLY WANT??  I just want to enjoy life….no stress……no hour and a half cardio per day……no low carb/fruit-free/developing an issue over food.  One man’s strength is another man’s weakness.  Some lifters show their strength in doing all these things.  I show my strength…in not.  I only play games I want to play.  If Dan Ray wants to come shoot a hot female bodybuilder with 22% bodyfat then that is his choice.  I’m strong, hot, and proud.  I think that is all that matters.

…I really think I love you.