MILF HUNTRESS

Highly unmotivated these days.  Still borderline fatiguish, but at this point I think it is more food related than overtrained.  I can’t seem to fill myself properly.  I like to be good and full and I’ll do whatever it takes to get me there.  The only reason I am not a blimpola is the exercise.  Still just 15 minutes cardio, enough to get some blood pumping. And I’ve promised myself an hour of weights daily.  I try to go hard and heavy, struggling to remain inspired.  It’s become a bit repetitive.  We go through highs and lows.  When you go through a low remember the cycle.  Like the wheel of fortune card teaches us, the wise thing to do is be the hub. 

Aw, my husband got an I-Phone, so I get to send him pictures and dirty text messages for a change.  I love text messaging and I love my guy friends that I text message with.  I also enjoy the fact that I have all these buddies I can talk to, and otherwise stimulate myself with, and owe absolutely nothing to.  I enjoy being married.  This is only because I, in general, feel appreciated.  It is good to be known, understood, and accepted, flaws and all.  After 22 years of togetherness there is not so much you can hide from eachother.  Good days, bad days, everydays.  It is 3 weeks ’til our 20 year wedding anniversary.  The true secret to staying married is the persistent threat of divorce.  When you make it a valid option, oftimes that option doesn’t anymore sound appealing.  A hefty dose of insanity helps as well.  Here’s to a big steak dinner and a Led Zeppelin Orchestra. 

Fitness photographers never want you to smile.  It’s always, “sexy mouth, sexy mouth….breathe through your mouth, open your mouth a little”.  It’s more than fairly obvious to me the reason for this being you can slip a cock inside.  Me?  I like to smile.  I’m happy when I smile.  I’m pretty when I’m happy.  Husband doesn’t have a problem with any of my pictures but the cucumber series.  In fact, he has threatened to call Moss and tell him not by any means to put them up.  But the cucumber selection is my favorite of all the pictures taken!  It was at the end of shooting, so I was well warmed up.  I also believe they best reflect the heart and spirit of who I really am.  A big thing in my hand and a smile on my face.

I think my biggest problem still is lack of confidence.  It is a thin line between confidence and egotism.  I can’t stand egotistical bastards, so I walk that tightrope gently.  It is good to know one’s strengths and one’s weaknesses.  Good to see oneself in the best possible, most optimistic light, and yet be humble enough to recognize and accept one’s true weaknesses and obvious flaws.  (We all have them.)  I find most people love themselves both far too much and never enough.  Quiet confidence never goes out of style.

Well I killed it at the gym today.  Over 2 hours and 15 minutes of weights, 15 minutes of cardio.  It was the ol legs and ass day and I served it well.  I weigh 163 but I am soooooooo not sweating it.  Let’s see, there were over 15 sets ab work, 4 leg ext, 5 leg curl, 6 leg press, 5 squat, 4 straight leg deadlift, 8 cable kickback, 3 walking lunge, 3 hyper extension, 6 sets of 50 jump rope, and a couple sprints around the gym.  Came home and ate donkey dick flavored protein from truepro-ein.com.  Don’t ask me how I know this.

You really do have to roll with the changes.  I guess one thing that I was made aware of through my photo shoot, something I’ve had a knowledge of all along but have slapped back, slapped back,….is that my youth is not just going, it is gone.   I will never be a young Tiffany Forni.  There are certain things that are behind me now and never to be manifested or regained.  So maybe I have been in mourning.  Maybe that is why for the first time in five years I have actually purposely cut back.  Yes, it is time for a change, and I am not exactly sure what it is going to be yet, but I know it involves trading out major cardio for yoga and stretching.  It also involves getting my ‘I am no longer 20 haircut’.  As soon as I am able it also involves a mad dash across Mexico for a large supply of HGH.  (PM me if you can help me here!!)  No, I am not giving up.  Just giving in a little.  Or otherwise, regathering troops.

I have a daughter that puts so much pressure on herself.  I didn’t raise her to be this way, but this is her life force, not mine.  We had about a 40 minute discussion on the ride home from the inlaws about her future.  The best advice I can give people, myself and my kids included, is DO WHAT YOU LOVE.  All the rest will eventually work out.  If the persons in your immediate life don’t support what you love, find people who do. Something I am immensely proud of my kids for is they are not afraid to try new things.  This displays courage.  I love sex and bodybuilding.  I also love God, children, and at times people.  I enjoy reading, writing, being in nature, things I can do within the solitude of my own mind.  I don’t need accolades, trophies, to do the things that I do.  I need my own self affirmation.  Happiness comes from within.  Don’t let the television convince you otherwise. 

Feeling about my regular self and ready to kick some ass at the gym tomorrow.  Worked past gym closing today so that wasn’t an option.  Had my nails filled on break which took the whole hour.  The vietnamese girl was very funny about my muscles.  Staring, pointing, speaking very loudly what to me was gibberish, not a spit of English.So another girl translated.  “She wants to know you work out?”  “She wants to know you can train her?”  “She wants to know what you do…..how long you lift…..how you eat.”  Finally the father/uncle said, “She wants to know how to make boobs size like yours”.  We all laughed and blushed and moved on.  Also talked with an overweight woman there about my weight loss,.  She is maybe close to the size I once was.  It feels good to pass along truth to people.  I do know the ins and outs to all this.  It starts with the mind.  It’s what I tell everyone.  I don’t really like the pictures I took with Moss.  His style is to leave things exactly as the camera captured them.  My style is to crop the bad, tweak the color, enhance the intensity.  With Moss, you see the true woman.  Not so sure I wanted you to see all that. 

There is more to life I’ve decided than a body that makes little boys beg and grown men cry.  So I’ve decided to back off this whole body deal for awhile except for purposes which are health oriented only.  There’s nothing wrong with an extra 15-20 lbs of meat.  Nothing wrong at all with a little mommy belly.  For each and every time there is a purpose.  Unless I need to blow off stress, no more double workouts.  I can utilize that time at home to better love my children, better care for my home and family.  In fact, home and family are going to be my theme for the next months 13.  Goals for the Schafer’s;  Disneyworld, (Florida), Total Home Rehab, (not the show), Vegas, (desert), California, (northern), eventually NYC. Definitely cruise ship X 2, X 3.  Where am I going to get all this money to trip the family fantastick you ask?   Well I’m not just going to pull it out of my ass!  Or am I?..