MILF HUNTRESS

What would I do without my bodyspace?   I don’t know but perhaps have dropped off by now.  I don’t always read others blogs, but only when I need to.  I have obviously been needing to lately and I am glad you are all there.  Not to generalize, but fitness minded people usually have their acts together in more than one sense.  So much of this is mental, the mind and body working hand in hand.  I’ve been having lots of dreams lately of house shopping.  Seems my subconsious is ready for a move.  Well I’m not.  I love my home and rather than dump the baby out with the bathwater I want to pour some new water in.  I am ready to tidy up, make some changes, in other words….major house improvements.  I want to get creative with this.  I know if I could transform my body I can also transform my home.  Starting with baby steps, 1, 2, 3,……I began my body with taking a walk outside.  Then upped it to only 10 minutes of treadmill.  Start slow, see changes, become inspired.  I will surround myself with pictures of what I want my home to become.  I will not just sit back but work to make it happen.  I will surround myself with quotes, positive energy, and FAITH that it can and will happen.  I will do all of this while maintaining my daily workouts, my job, and my role as wife and mother.  I can sit around and wish, or I can face the same fact with my house that I did 5 long years ago with my body.  If it is to be it is up to me.

I am feeling the need to listen to my spirit more.  This means I may have to cut out meat altogether.  I was a vegetarian for 16 years solid, as well as an additional 7 year stretch during childhood.  Only giving in to being a carnivore for the purpose of building muscle.  So I have gone against my ethics.  We live our best, when we live ethically, in a way that makes sense to us.  So I may have to rethink this whole thing.  An important issue being I have put on more muscle in the last 22 months (eating meat) than I ever have before.  Maybe this is also muscle maturity.  Went to the gym and stretched yesterday.  Can’t call it Yoga, because I don’t know Yoga, but I am trying to learn.  Still it felt good to stretch that muscle out.  I most definitely am not limber at this point.  All things come with practice, so I look forward to increased flexibility.  Took my kid to see “Where The Wild Things Are” last night.  An interesting show purely from the psychological angle.  Kind of about a boy and his Id.  Afterwards, took daughter to buy a sweater at Target.  The look of gratitude on her face when I brought it up…..it almost brings a tear to my eye.  Ok, it does bring a tear to my eye.  My daughter is not spoiled.  In fact, she is the opposite of spoiled.  We have lived in borderline poverty her entire life.  My husband makes decent money, but we are house poor.  For some reason we have decided to remain in this situation.  I don’t know…waiting for things to improve.  But without a solid plan for their improvement.  I want to take my kids places.  I want to give them a better life.  (Especially my youngest.)  This is all starting to seem more important to me again than building muscle.  Still I must keep things in balance.  When it comes down to the very end, I am very tenacious about my body, most particularly my muscle, because it is the one thing in my life I have (yet) to have claimed for myself, by myself.

I have a daughter that puts so much pressure on herself.  I didn’t raise her to be this way, but this is her life force, not mine.  We had about a 40 minute discussion on the ride home from the inlaws about her future.  The best advice I can give people, myself and my kids included, is DO WHAT YOU LOVE.  All the rest will eventually work out.  If the persons in your immediate life don’t support what you love, find people who do. Something I am immensely proud of my kids for is they are not afraid to try new things.  This displays courage.  I love sex and bodybuilding.  I also love God, children, and at times people.  I enjoy reading, writing, being in nature, things I can do within the solitude of my own mind.  I don’t need accolades, trophies, to do the things that I do.  I need my own self affirmation.  Happiness comes from within.  Don’t let the television convince you otherwise. 

There is more to life I’ve decided than a body that makes little boys beg and grown men cry.  So I’ve decided to back off this whole body deal for awhile except for purposes which are health oriented only.  There’s nothing wrong with an extra 15-20 lbs of meat.  Nothing wrong at all with a little mommy belly.  For each and every time there is a purpose.  Unless I need to blow off stress, no more double workouts.  I can utilize that time at home to better love my children, better care for my home and family.  In fact, home and family are going to be my theme for the next months 13.  Goals for the Schafer’s;  Disneyworld, (Florida), Total Home Rehab, (not the show), Vegas, (desert), California, (northern), eventually NYC. Definitely cruise ship X 2, X 3.  Where am I going to get all this money to trip the family fantastick you ask?   Well I’m not just going to pull it out of my ass!  Or am I?..

Went back to Arrow Rock tonight with the family for it’s Haunted Celebration. Perfect night for it.  The cemetery tour was the best.  I love historical sites.  The past being so fuzzy and alive.  People seem far more interesting when they are dead.

I’ve found that my chocolate protein powder cooks up just fine with a little milk added.  Doesn’t really even need egg.  Kindof like I’m eating cake all day.  That’s what I tell myself.  Two plums for breakfast so my fruit quota is filled.  Just going to see how much I can bore you today with food statistics.  My Aunt is in stage 1 with her cancer.  That is the great news!  It’s funny because the entire world has been after her for years about her weight issue, but when she at last got sick (after years of extremely healthy morbid obesity)….it wasn’t weight related at all.  Go Margie!  lol  No.  I would like to see Aunt Margie lose weight.  But only if she wants to.  God knows I have understood her mindset.  But all that strength, all that tenacity she has essentially used to say FTW! (in her best Christian manners), she could be using to display strength in ways that benefit herself.  First she has to finally, at long last know that she is worth it.

The best moments are happened upon accidently.  Heading back from Co Mo yesterday I saw a sign.  “Arrow Rock State Park”.  It was a gorgeous fall day, I was having a largest ball of twine chasing moment, so pulled off Interstate 70 to check it out.  One kid ecstatic, one kid, (the teenager) surly, wanting to head straight home.  I pulled back onto the highway to appease the latter, then the former began to cry.  “I never get to do anything fun….We always do what she wants to do.”  You obviously can’t please them all, and I was not about to turn around, so said, “Baby next time.”  About 15 miles down the road however, 10 year old still sniffling, I saw another sign.  “Blackwater Historic Downtown” next exit.  “This time we’re going to do it”.  Just 3 miles off the highway, rather than 13 (as Arrow Rock had been).  Surprise, Surprise, when another sign popped up, “Arrow Rock State Historic Site 10 miles”.  Proving once again, my very most favorite and self proclaimed adage is true.  “ALL ROADS EVENTUALLY LEAD TO THE SAME PLACE.”  Long story short, we made it to both places.  Two of the most beautiful hidden away spots I ever have seen, and well worth the detour.  Particularly on an early fall evening.  Arrow Rock and Blackwater Missouri.  CHECK THEM OUT.

Got my daughter back to college.  Didn’t get to spend as much time together as I would have liked, either working or sleeping a good part of the weekend.  I have been real tired!  I am pretty sure it is the crappy high carb eating I have been doing.  I’ll be damned if we don’t all need just a little down time to relax on the diet and/or double cardio now and then.  Took a two day weekend off from the gym.  Not actually intentionally, but it’s all good.  Work Saturday, daughter today, and early weekend gym closings, all conspired to have their way with me.  Also had three pieces of pizza and a whole box of sea salt caramel almond bars. Yum.  Sipping the last of my lukewarm coffee.  Belly feels a little soft, thighs a little jiggly.  If I weren’t a hard core muscle girl, I might actually like myself better this way.

We found out it is cancer.  Don’t know if it is in one location only yet or spread.  Hoping for the best.  But this is a woman who does not go to doctors period, and it must have taken an awful scare to send her to one.  I am from the same family, cut from the same cloth.  Avoid doctors like bearers of the plague.  There is wisdom in this to a point.  But when you are having symptoms you cannot just ignore and pretend go away.  A very close friend’s grandmother died of breast cancer.  She knew (or thought) she had it for years.  Didn’t go to the doctor until long after her chest had turned black and began to rot off.  I guess sometimes we make these choices out of fear, sometimes because we prefer it to the other option….the Dr. office.  Number one place of ‘i have no control’.  First you wait.  Then they send you to a little room where you wait again.  Until you finally decide they forgot about you.  I have been ignoring a small, oftimes painful lump in my left breast for over a year and a half.  Haven’t been for a pap smear in over 3 years.  My paps always turn up abnormal.  But abnormal as in ‘let’s watch this a little more closely’.   Obviously I have not.  Tremendous self love shows up in small ways not just large.  I am fully aware that wearing my seat belt is a sign of self love.  Also that putting healthy in equals healthy out.  Wouldn’t dream at this point of ever missing a workout.  I wash my hands, brush my teeth, avoid std’s.  Yet I ignore breast lumps, and sometimes cervical pain.  Yes, cut from the same cloth.  Margie is a harbinger of good fortune.  This blog is dedicated to her strength of spirit, her tenacity, and her will and desire to live.  I will watch her grow old.

Two places you can always find me.  Gym/Library.  Living outside town a good 10 miles, these are the only places I come in for, except to drop a kid off, or some groceries up.  Both really come in quite handy when I am already in town waiting for kids to get done with activities.

Sometimes we need to be reminded that there is more to life than filling our bellies and emptying our orgasms. Found a good book tonight to do just that!  “What Matters”; “The world’s preeminent photojournalists and thinkers depict essential issues of our time”.  Check it out.  Really.

My college daughter is coming home for 4 days~!!  Very excited.

I know the secret to putting on 10 lbs in 5 days.  PM me for details.  Ok, it’s 8 packets of oatmeal and 5 peanut butter sandwiches.

Pretty sure Dan Ray and I are on for last week of Oct or 2nd week of Nov!  This gives me plenty time to first lick the spoon, then put the peanut butter away.