MILF HUNTRESS

I never do anything that I regret.  If your mind isn’t made up about something, then you shouldn’t do it.  I have obviously decided that I am not interested in another immediate photo shoot.  Too much pressure this being sexy business.  Being sexy is play acting.  I do it for fun.  I do it when I want to.  If I want to.  Also, I haven’t been returning any emails as far as the whole dominatrixing thing goes.  Again, too much pressure.  I may be dominating your ass, but I am still putting myself out there as a male fantasy.  It feels entirely good just being me for me.  I can do this.  I can feed well.  I can train well.  I can live well.  I can focus on the higher ground.  I can also fill your ass with PVC.  But only if and when it pleases me.

My photo shoot went EXCELLENT. I don’t even give a f-ck about the pictures.  The process itself was GRAND.  Surprisingly enough….Rachel had a GIMP waiting there for me.  This guy loves to serve.  He does her housecleaning, her taxes………and then he waits for me in a leather mask.  lol Big wig in the business world, I AM SURE.  Very nice guy.  But the photographer himself……….HOT HOT HOT.  I went to high school with him.  I don’t remember who the f-ck he is.  You have to remember, I went to my 20 year high school reunion and didn’t remember close and special friends.  NOT because I’ve done drugs or anything…but because people change so much!!  Mint mojitos+photo shoot=girl’s best friend.  We’ve got me climbing ladders, next to windows, training students……I love my life.  lol  Told him to please delete all the ugly pictures!

So I am really sorry that slave boy didn’t work out, but I don’t have time to waste on bullsh-it.  I think in actuality he is a submissive, but also a cheap bastard, and unfortunately the two don’t go hand in hand.  Unless you are terribly (and I do mean terribly incredibly) good looking….no woman is going to want to waste her time on you and your fantasies unless she gets something out of it too.  He kept talking about power.  Well I get no f-cking power out of hearing some jackass call me goddess, wanting to get down at my feet, leaving me lengthy messages, etc, etc, unless I think he is worthy of even looking at me in the first place.  Money talks, bullsh-t walks so to speak. Still, hope deferred makes the heart sick.  I have over $750 in tattoos I am hoping to get.  I am behind in car payment, boob payment.  Well I know they can’t repossess my tits.  I had three very valid potential clients off a domination web site. These are all out of towners who only make it into KC every other blue moon.  One was wanting a two hour session this weekend.  This would have been over $800.  Rachel was out of town till Sunday.   I needed that money so so bad.  But am not yet willing to fly solo.

I think I effectively got rid of slave boy.  All these lures of,….”Once you open up my mind all that I have will be yours.”  Throwing out ideas like if I want $4000 for Christmas….BOOM…..he’s there.  He has YET to have bought me a single pair of shoes.  This is a simple command.  So I declare bull****.  Told him I want 10 pairs of shoes delivered to XYZ……..or we’re never talking again.  I am not looking for a relationship slave anyway.  I want a guy who comes down to the dungeon, stays an hour, or two, and goes about his way.  It’s bad karma taking advantage of somebody.  Even if he begs you for it.  My mindset was, “He’s told me he wants to be blackmailed.  He has planted the seed that he would like to be extorted”.  I was beginning to think I was filling a client’s desire.  This is a good thing right?  Except for the fact that blackmail and extortion are still illegal.  (Even if he asked me for it Judge?  I’ve got the emails to prove it.)  Think I’ll stick with the crop and the whip.  The best part of dominating a guy like this…most definitely would be the gag ball.

“As I continue to open my mind up to you…..,” he says.  Some of his favorite words.  PINK.  PANTIES.  BLACKMAIL.  MIND CONTROL.  Well, there are a few others.  He wants me to slowly and effectively take control of his mind until it is no longer him doing the thinking but rather me thinking for him.  My commanding and him responding.  Sent me a letter yesterday saying he wants to set up my bank account for an automatic deposit of funds monthly.   Hmmmmmmmmmm.  Too good to be true?  Oh, it’s not just his mind he wants me to control.  It is also his cock.  He wants to be in the presence of any beautiful woman in the world, but have his cock remain as a limp wet noodle, except for me, his beautiful mistress.  Now if I can work this sh-t out, I won’t need a slave.  I’ll bottle up this mojo, sell it to women worldwide, and become a f-cking heiress.  He also wants to suck a cock.  This, however, is just a minor detail.

We all know who Lady Liberty is don’t we?  But how about Lady Justice?  She is just as important but often forgotten except by those in the judicial system.  I am playing around with the idea of “Lady Justice” as my namesake, my spiritual dominatal archetype.  Again, the blindfold. Blind to men’s sins as society sees them.  Willingness to look at things with impartial eyes.  Scales in one hand, the balancing of evidence some might say. The balancing of energies, home life from fantasy life, might say another.  A sword.  Always carry a sword.  Phallic in nature, and commanding of respect.  I can choose to accept and advocate you or I may choose to slay and destroy you.  Ultimately, the decisions are up to me.

SO I instructed him to buy me 3 dresses and 2 pairs of shoes from greatglam.com…and then we can talk.  Lol  Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns.  If I’m going to be a Goddess/Princess/Queen…(I prefer Queen),…then I need to dress and look the part.  I am ready for my pedicures….

So while he is “worshiping me” there is an energy exchange going on, and frankly it is draining.  High needs this man.  He has left me about 12 messages in 24 hours.  Sure they are all very nice things like “You are a Goddess, my place is under you,at your feet,  to serve you, yada yada yada.”  BUT his fetishes are very specific and I might have bitten off more than I can possible chew.  He truly desires a Goddess.  He truly desires to be enslaved.  But aren’t slaves supposed to do as they are told………and speak when they are spoken to?  He did say something about a little surprise shopping. 

Alright, so now I’ve got another guy.  10 years younger than me, not bad looking.  He wants me to spank him so hard that he goes pee in his diapers.  I don’t know. I’m sadistic and all.  I just clearly remember there came a time about 7 years ago……..I swore I would never change a diaper again.

“Not all women who are dominatrixes have muscle” I said.  “Not all women who have muscles are dominatrixes,’ Mr Moss reminded me.  It seems an honest progression.  As if all the little duckies of my life are finally lined in a row.  I have the mind for this.  I have a love for human sexuality and a zero judgement attitude.  My latest (and first) slave is quite a handful.  He is training me as much as I am training him.  “I will teach you to be a princess,” he said.  “I will teach you to be a Goddess.”  “What if I just want to be the bitch?” I asked him.  “No.  You don’t want to be the bitch,” he answered.  “You are the Goddess.”  He then went on to explain how the bitch fights and claws her way up the mountain.  The Goddess already sits at the top.  Also explaining the difference between power and control to me.  Power makes the boat GO.  Control STEERS it.  You can control all you want and it is never going to get you anywhere.  When you have the power on the other hand, things begin to move.